Hear high school student discuss viral college acceptance videos

Wow, I like that the mom was involved in that one too. That's just one of the college acceptance videos to go viral this week. Of course, This is the all-important college decision week in many households. But in a new piece for The Atlantic, my next guest says it's time to stop posting those college acceptance videos. Joining me now is Zach Gottlieb, high school student and creator of Talk with Zach. Zach, great to have you here. Why, why can't kids post those videos?

First of all, thanks for having me. And the problem with posting these videos is college is already such a stressful thing that teenagers have to deal with. And when you post these videos, I mean, it seems like everyone's getting into their dream school. And it creates this false reality where, I mean, a lot of these schools have, like, less than 10% acceptance rates. But 100% of the videos are students getting in. And it creates this very skewed reality of everyone's getting into their dream school. And it makes people feel who don't get into their dream school is really left out.

That's really interesting, Zach. I happen to know a little bit about this because I live with two experts. I have senior girl twins who both just went through this very thing. And I asked them today, tonight, about what their thoughts are on posting this. So they made videos that were basically private, but for their inner circle. So they posted it on the people, you know, just their inner circle of friends. And what they said was that this is how they find out where their friends are going to school. They might not be their dream schools, but this is how they get their information nowadays. This is how they figure out how their friend who they met at camp who lives, you know, 1,000 miles away, where that kid is going to school. So what's wrong with it just being your community bulletin board?

The thing is, if you're doing it like that, if you're showing people where you're going to school, I think that's fine. Like, if you're showing your friends where you get into college, it's more when you're publicizing it beyond your own joy and for people who want to find out. Because when we see these videos, they have like 10 million views and it's random people on the internet, not people you actually want to hear from. And like, if it's a friend, yeah, you want to know where they're going. And it could be any school, not just like this school that's insanely hard to get into that you want to go to. So it's more like, I think posting it for your friends, that's great. It's a great way to see, but it's more like I take issue with when you're publicizing it, when you're making it seem like this whole ostentatious event rather than just informing people who want to know.

And what about the argument that, you know, there are winners and losers in this college acceptance game? There just are. That's the reality. And so the kids who don't get into their dream school, that's— they'll be fine. You know, they'll go to some other school. That's— they'll take a gap year, whatever. That's life. And for the kids who want to post, this is the end. This is the culmination. This is the celebratory moment. Of the months that they've worked on trying to get in?

It should really just be about your own joy. So obviously it is a celebratory moment, so celebrate for yourself. Show, like, have that for yourself so maybe you could look back on it. But the thing is, our culture makes college this huge thing, and teenagers feel like it determines how successful they'll be, how happy they'll be. So when we see these videos, it's not just about there are winners or losers. It's like, this affects me for the rest of my life, which obviously isn't true because study after study has shown that where you go to college does not affect your future happiness. So it's really just like, if, like, you could say, yeah, there are obviously winners and losers, but how the culture presents it, it can be really harmful for students. Because personally I think you can make the most of college wherever you go. So it shouldn't be framed as there are winners and losers, but rather there's some people who go to their dream schools and other people go to schools that are also very good and they will also have good lives. So it shouldn't be framed like you lost. It should be framed like you're going to make the most of this situation and it'll be a great experience.

For sure. And so Zach, next year when you get one of those acceptance emails, what are you going to do?

So I'm obviously not going to make a huge publicity video about this and post it on TikTok. I might record one for myself just to see, but I definitely don't want to contribute to this culture of college is going to determine the rest of your life. And I don't want to do this thing. I even see people like, I didn't get into this, my dream school, but I got into this other like Ivy League, really tough to get into school. So it's really just going to be a personal thing for me. I'm going to be really excited about where I'm going to go. And if I don't get into, like, my dream school, I think college is a lot like life. You make whatever attitude you have of it. So it's really just going to be— I'm going to make the most of it and I'm going to have a great experience wherever I end up.

All right.

Well, we'll want to check in with you and find out what happens next. Zach Gottlieb, thank you very much for your take. And my panel is back with me. We also have insider columnist Lynette Lopez joining us. Great to see you, Lynette. Great to see you, too. All right. I had you back. So what do you think?

Okay, I have only ever seen one acceptance video, the one you just played, and I think people should stop doing it because that was corny. [LAUGHTER] The other thing I have to say is what is the difference between these acceptance videos and somebody with abs taking a selfie and putting it on Instagram? You know, like, I don't have abs. Like, I want abs. All of social media is a land where people are reflecting an imaginary best life. All of it.

And other people are coveting what they see.

It is a push and it is a pull. The algorithm pushes things on us, but we pull things from the internet too. What are you pulling? That's one question. And two, do you believe everything that is pushed to you? The question is, do we need to change the culture of how we look at college and what we want kids to say? Or do we change the culture of how we think about social media and what people's lives are actually when they post? You know, it's not real. That kid knows it's not real. He knows that a lot of kids who do this, they know it's not real.

The irony is like by making this, by being so articulate about like, don't post your college acceptance videos, he just like really upped his chances of getting into his dream school. Like that was a really good media move. I was thinking that. I'm like, he's gonna write a personal statement about his appearance on CNN. Shout out to Zach for doing a great job.

Great job, Zach.

Very compelling case.

Just show us the video.

Yeah, I know. So true. I mean, Harvard's calling right now, I'm sure. So is this, what do you think?

I remember how excited I was when I got into my first choice school, my dream school, right? I called, my grandmother answered the phone, told me what the envelope looked like, I think opened it.

So you were still opening an envelope?

I was still in school.

Was everybody here, did everybody here have to open an envelope?

I looked at an email. Yeah.

I knew it.

And I looked at it at work.

Oh, what?

I had a job at a cafe. In State College, Pennsylvania at a place called the Corner Room. Shout out to the Corner Room. And I looked at it at work.

And then what happened?

And everybody was really happy for me.

'Cause you Yelped.

Yeah, 'cause I was so excited. And like, no, I didn't put it on Instagram, but I told everybody.

That's great. Okay, so you called your grandma.

Had Instagram existed at the time, I'm sure I would've posted some heartfelt video of what I was feeling in the moment. I will say, as much as I feel for people who may not get into their first-choice colleges or universities, I do worry about this generation and just the sensitivity to certain things. I mean, I want parents to prepare their children for the unfairness of this world. Like, you don't always get what you want. Uh, and this is true in many other contexts. And I've just seen it in the workplace with this younger generation, and I just— I want to make sure that we are preparing— that we are toughening people up for the world as it exists.

The last time I was on this program, we talked about, we talked about, we talked about, oh my gosh, it just slipped away.

What did we talk about?

What did we talk about?

What did we? I could never figure that out. Well, we'll see.

Sorry.

The producers will tell you. But hold that thought. Yeah. Yes.

I was going to say, first of all, when I got into college, I was at boarding school and my parents called me and told me And the way the school I was at did it, we would have a morning meeting every day, and the principal just said, "So-and-so in the class of 2002 got into this school." That's it. And everybody would clap, and that was the announcement. Nothing big. But I worry these days, it's not just college acceptance videos. It's everything. As Lynette pointed out, it's the apps. And we saw in the TikTok hearings last week, forgetting the China stuff, it was— we had parents of kids who had committed suicide because of the way that TikTok has gamed the algorithm to really push unhealthy attitudes towards kids. They are now facing seeing more anxiety, more depression, more isolation, and that's a serious mental health problem. And as Mondaire said, yes, we do have to prepare for kids to be able to understand what it's like to face setbacks. When you fall down, the real question is how do you pick yourself back up?

But so do you think they should be posting the video?

Absolutely not.

No, just do it in a low-key fashion the way you're—

I got it back.

Go.

We were talking about kids and how they feel about being kids, teenagers, and how you know, they just want to stay adults or they just want to be kids. They don't want to be adults. They don't want to deal with the pressure. Part of the pressure of being an adult is rejection on a large scale and sometimes embarrassing yourself like I just did on national television. And I don't remember what I was going to say.

Sometimes you don't even deserve to get into your first choice school.

Right?

Like, like, it's not just about your first choice. It's also that it is so hypercompetitive right now, particularly in this year and the year before that because of a COVID, you know, layover and all sorts of things. Literally, counselors say This year is the most applications they've ever seen. So sometimes it's not getting into school after school after school. It's pretty stressful.