A Healing Moment Topic Anger

Welcome to A Healing Moment with Dr. A'Shellarien Addison Addison. This is that part of the day where you say, you know what, I just need a little help. This that part of the day where you say, you know what, I just need a little affirmation. I just need a little encouragement. This is that part of the day you need somebody to say it's okay not to be okay. Our topic today is anger. Anger. Did you know that anger is a surface emotion? So what does that mean? That means that like an iceberg, there's always something underneath it. Always. You see an iceberg, what you see above the water is not what you see below the water, and what you see above the water is less than what's below the water. It's like a tree, right? You see the stump But then you see all the branches underneath the, um, underneath the earth. Well, anger is like that. And anger is a surface emotion, and underneath anger is always hurt. Always, always, always. So think about the anger in your life. Why are you so angry? What happened? That you're so angry, I guarantee you something hurt you. But here's the thing about anger: it's a lot easier to default to being an angry person than it is to saying I'm a hurt person. Anger doesn't need any vulnerability. You could just pop off. You could pop off. You can cuss folk out. You could be like, listen, back up, I'm about to shut the place down. I don't know who you talking to, but you ain't talking to me. That's easy. What's not easy is to be vulnerable and say, you know what, you really hurt me. You hurt me and I'm upset about it. Now, the level of transparency, the level of vulnerability says that now somebody else has some power over you because they put you in a place of pain. We don't like that. We don't like to not be in control. We don't like for anybody to be able to have that power over us. Now here's the thing, we know people have power over us, we know that people have influence, but we don't have to talk about it, we don't have to admit it. You know, people only have the power you give them. Now your anger is fueled by the power you choose to give to somebody else. 'Cause realistically, nobody can make you do anything. People can't make you cuss them out. People say, "Chaplain, they made me do it. They just kept going and going and going. They made me act like that." It was a choice. What you say to yourself leads to your emotions, which leads to your behavior. What you say to yourself leads to your emotions, which leads to your behavior. So your anger is an emotion that's fueled by what you said to yourself. And if you say, so-and-so and so get on my nerves and I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind, guess what's gonna happen? Anger. You're gonna wind up your behavior, you're gonna slap somebody, you're gonna cuss somebody, and you're gonna be like, well, they made me do it. You're not gonna take no accountability. Here's what I want you to know, that you are the only one that that can control you. What you say to yourself leads to your emotions, which leads to your behavior. Your emotions are not driving you. What's driving you is what you're saying to yourself in that moment. And here's what I'm saying to you: you need to get it together. You need to say to yourself, you know what, I need some help. I need somebody to help me walk through this emotional roller coaster of life that I have that's making me feed off of these negative thought patterns that drive my angry behavior and my angry emotion. So I want you to send me a message and say, Doc, I need to talk about my anger because it is out of control. Out of control. And I need to get it under control. So thank you for joining me for a healing moment with Dr. A'Shellarien Addison Addison. Until next time, be kind to yourself.