Dr. A'Shellarien Addison explores emotional hurt and why we feel it, from others exercising free will against God's intent to unprocessed pain that shows up as passive-aggression, headaches, or substance use. The fix: talk about it with someone you trust. Speaking the hurt aloud doesn't erase it, but it replaces harmful thoughts with healthier ones.
Chapters
Welcome to A Healing Moment with Dr. A'Shellarien Addison Addison. This is that part of the day where you say, you know what, I just need a little help. This is that part of the day where you say, you know what, I just need a little encouragement. This is that part of the day where you have to say to yourself, I just need to know that it's okay not to be okay. Today we're talking about hurt. Hurt. How many of us have been hurt? Some of us have been hurt a little bit, some of us have been hurt a lot. And the challenge for many of us is, what do we do with that hurt? How do we live and move and have our being knowing we've been hurt? You know, hurt people hurt people. So how do you deal with your hurt so that you don't impose that hurt on somebody else? Well, I'm so glad you asked me that. You have to face the truth of where the hurt came from, why the hurt is lingering, and what you have chosen to do about it. There is some hurt that we have no control over. Did you know that sometimes we are the collateral damage of other people's foolishness? People say, why do bad things happen to good people? Because everybody has a choice. There are three wills in operation: God's perfect will, God's permissive will, and then God's gift to us, which is free will. And in that free will, that supersedes the other two wills because God has given us a gift that we can tell God no. Sometimes we are hurt because other people have told God no. And so how do you manage your hurt? You have to be kind to yourself. You have to sit with that hurt, acknowledge that hurt, and give a place for that hurt. Why? Because a hurt that has not been dealt with has no time frame for healing. A hurt that has not been dealt with has no time frame for healing. Now here's something that's very true. Sometimes hurt could be in such a place where you're just a little bit fragile, you know, you've been hurt a little bit and you can manage it. Sometimes hurt is so deep that you cannot manage it on your own. You need somebody to walk with you, to talk through the hurt. Because the truth of the matter is that the only way to deal with the hurt is to talk about it. And a lot of times we don't want to talk about it, and I don't blame you. You don't want to relive it, you don't want to refeel it, you don't want to acknowledge it. The other challenge of that is that a distracted hurt is still going to manifest. It's going to manifest as passive-aggressive anger. It's going to manifest as, you know, you looking like you've been sucking on lemons all day. It's going to manifest in your body. You're going to get headaches, body aches. And the whole time, if you just find somebody you trust and talk about that hurt, everything in your life is going to change. Now, talking about your hurt doesn't mean it's going to go away. Talking about your hurt doesn't mean that it's not still going to hurt. What it means is that you'll be able to find some coping skills, ways to manage the impact of the hurt. Because the truth of the matter is, you can't erase an emotion, you can't erase a thought, you can replace it. And as you think about the hurt in your life, you just have to go hurt by hurt, hurt by hurt, talk about it, acknowledge it, and then have a plan. Have a plan of what to do with that hurt. You can't just let it sit there. It can't just fester. If it festers, then it's going to become something harmful. So what does that mean? When you don't deal with the hurt, it will be masqueraded in a harmful behavior— something like drinking, smoking, drugging, all kinds of ways, you know, promiscuous sex, pornography, gambling. You'll try and cover it up, you try to distract yourself so that you don't have to deal with it. So what am I saying to you today? That if you have a hurt in your life and you need somebody trusted to talk to, reach out to me. I will happily talk with you about your hurt. As Shrek says, it's better out than in. If you hold on to it, it's gonna fester. It's just like water seeping, right? You put some water in the bottom of a pot and you'd be like, okay, it's good, but it's just gonna still sit there. It's gonna sit there. It's gonna sit there. Hurt will not evaporate like water. You have to deal with the hurt. So thank you for joining me for a healing moment with Dr. A'Shellarien Addison Addison. Until next time, be kind to yourself.
