Dr. A'Shellarien Addison explores why people resist asking for help, tracing it to childhood experiences where expressing need was dismissed. She connects this silence to isolation and pain, then urges listeners to break the cycle by reaching out to resources like the 988 suicide-prevention line or her directly.
Chapters
Welcome to A Healing Moment with Dr. A'Shellarien Addison Addison. This is that time of the day that you just need a little help. You just need a little encouragement. You just need to know that it's okay not to be okay. Our topic today is resistance. Resistance. You know what I found? That a lot of people resist asking for help. Now, why is that? I think about all the babies that cry and cry and cry and cry. And sometimes you'll learn that every cry doesn't mean, "I want to be helped." Sometimes the cry is, "I want to be held." Sometimes the cry is, "I want my own way." And you know what happens to a lot of people? They cry, and people say, 'Stop that crying. Stop that crying. You don't have to cry. Big boys don't cry. Big girls don't cry.' And then we get to a point where we start to believe, 'I'm not supposed to cry.' Crying represents asking for help. And so we've been inundated with, 'Stop that crying. Stop it.' And heaven forbid you'd actually ask for some help. Now think about this, right? The Bible says bring all your burdens to the Lord and leave them there, right? So when you come to the altar and you say, Lord, I need some help, and you bring your burden, you're at the altar, you say, I need some help, right? But then depending on who's around You don't want anybody to know, 'cause we all know you don't want nobody in your business. So-and-so can't know 'cause they gonna talk about you. And so what happens? We get acculturated to a system of don't talk about it, don't say anything, right? And so what happens when you don't say anything? Close mouths don't get fed. That's what happens. Babies understand that they have to cry in order to get heard. They have to cry in order to get somebody's attention. What about you? Why have you stopped asking for help? Why have you refused to open your mouth and say something? I will tell you, it's a societal construct that says what happens in this house stays in this house, and if I made it, you can make it. If Grandma did it and Mommy did it, then I can do it. And we force ourselves to be held hostage to a notion that it's not okay to not be okay. Well, in this healing moment with Dr. A'Shellarien Addison Addison, it's okay not to be okay. It is okay not to be okay. This resistance for asking for help, this resistance to open your mouth and say something, you know what it does? It feeds a spirit of isolation. And you know what a spirit of isolation does? It feeds a spirit of loneliness. It feeds the spirit of helplessness. So here's what I'm saying to you: when you resist asking for help, you are essentially saying, I don't want to be healed. I want to stay in this pain. I want to stay in this isolation. I want to stay in this chaos. I want to stay in this sadness. So what I'm saying to you is, in this moment, no longer resist asking for help. There are so many resources between 988, between the local resources they have, and if you don't want to talk to any of them, send me a message. I will be present for you as you learn to be present for yourself. It's time to stop resisting help. We are suffering in silence, and it's no longer okay. It is okay not to be okay. You can be the boss, you could be the pastor, you could be the mom, you could be the dad, you could be the grandma, you could be the CEO, you could be the big baller— it's still okay to not be okay. So we want to talk about that resistance. So if you want to talk about why you resist, send me a message. Thank you for joining me for a healing moment with Dr. A'Shellarien Addison Addison. Until next time, be kind to yourself.
