Rev. Dr. A'Shellarien AddisonFounder & CEO, Bethel Bethesda Global · Board-certified Army Chaplain | Spiritual Clinical Trauma-Informed Theologian | Empowering Women to Accentuate Their Greatness in Spirit, Finances, Relationships & Business

The Strong Woman Tax: Paying for What You Never Chose

30 Mar 2026 · 1 min

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This content was created by A'Shellarien Addison. This content was uploaded by A'Shellarien Addison. This is a YouTube video titled "The Strong Woman Tax: Paying for What You Never Chose" (published 2026-03-30). The excerpt is a short, diarized exchange between two speakers (labeled SPEAKER A and SPEAKER B) reviewing and reflecting on books about the "strong woman" archetype and intergenerational/learned responses. They reference concepts like inherited alarm systems, the practices "Pause" (three breaths to interrupt reactivity) and "Pray," and quote "Healing needs compassion, not blame," describing the books as both therapy and a practical toolkit for those who've carried invisible burdens.

Chapters

I thought this was another self-help gimmick, but it named the weight I've been carrying and showed me how to stop paying for what I never chose. Reading the section on inherited alarm systems felt like seeing my family's scripted responses spelled out, and it hit me really hard. Pause helps us interrupt automatic reactions. Pray reconnects us to God's wisdom, peace, and presence. Dang. This work names the strong woman text. And shows that so many strong women have been praised for surviving, adapting. One quote stopped me: "Healing needs compassion, not blame." And that idea shifted how I talk to myself.
Pause became my first tool, taking 3 breaths before answering, which broke automatic reactivity and gave me space so I could choose my response, not just survive.
Have you ever felt exhausted by battles you never started? Have you ever found yourself carrying stress, fear, hypervigilance, and being unbothered is not denial or pretending pain never happened. It is not spiritual bypassing. It is a cultivated, intentional, grounded state of peace.
Together, these two books expose the wound and offered a way forward. Pairing them felt like therapy and a toolkit. They are an invit— If you have ever been the strong one, the dependable one, the one who kept going while carrying invisible weight, these books were written with you in mind.