Does Significance Drive You?

Welcome to Marketing in Your Car, the podcast for funnel hackers everywhere. You're now part of a small group of underground entrepreneurs who are trying to change the world through the products and the services that we believe in. But because we don't rely on venture capitalists, we don't have financial safety nets. So we have to do things differently. We have to do things smarter. We do that through an art and a science we call funnel hacking. This podcast will give you a glimpse at the daily life of a funnel hacker. So let's get started. Good morning everybody, welcome to Marketing Your Car. It is so cold here, like insanely cold. All of the snow is now like shards of glass and it's, anyway, it was crazy. That was the noise if you're wondering why I was driving over the shards of glass from my car. But, alright, so today I have a very special message. This one's important for everybody, including me. So, alright, so I'll tell the background of the story. So, a lot of you guys know I talk about Tony Robbins a lot. He's come to Funnel Hacking Live. I've been a big Tony fan for forever, as long as I can remember. And the first time I met him was a really cool story. So I went to UPW, actually let me step back. What happened is I was at my house one day working and all of a sudden my phone called, my phone rang, I picked it up and it was somebody on Tony's team saying, hey Tony Robbins wants to meet you, can he meet you today? I was like, is he in Boise? He's like, no, he's in Salt Lake, can you come over and he wants to meet you. And I was like, I'm in Boise. He's like, oh, I thought you lived in Salt Lake. I'm like, no. He's like, oh crap, that won't work then. He's like, well, he's gonna be in Toronto next week doing UPW, can you come and be his guest? And then he'll have a I'd love a chance to meet you there. I'm like, alright, how cool is that? So I'm like, yes. So I book my everything to go to UPW the next week, and I had never been to a Tony event, I didn't know what it was. I assumed it was like an internet marketing event, so I showed up with like my backpack with my laptop, and I was gonna sit in the back and take notes, and I get there and people are jumping and dancing. If you've been to Tony's event, it's more like, it's closer to a rock concert than a seminar. And so anyway, it was really, I was not expecting that. By the end of day 1, the end of day 1 you walk on fire. Day 2, I had shin splints. Day 3, I lost my voice completely. Like, that's how crazy it is. So, if you haven't gone yet, you should really, really go. But anyway, and at the event, first thing, he teaches this really cool concept called the 6 human needs. And I don't have time to go through all of it right now, but I need to touch on it because it's gonna make, it's important for the next part of it. So basically, 6 human needs. There's 4 needs of the body. There's certainty, like humans wanna be certain, and then there's variety, which is like you want things to be crazy. So, those are 2 needs that kinda, they conflict with each other, but they're both there. And then there's significance, we wanna feel great about ourselves, and there's love and connection. And so, I think I've done podcasts in the past about this, but I could go on it for, I could teach like a 2-day seminar just on that 'cause it's so cool. And then there's needs of the spirit, which are growth and contribution, which is a whole nother, like, anyway, again, we can go deep, but I want you to understand that there's those 4. So, significance, love and connection, certainty, and variety. Those are the 4 that we have to get those things met in our life, and there's one for you, just so you guys know, there's one that's your driving force in life. You're either significance-driven, you're either certainty-driven, you're variety-driven, or you're love and connection-driven. And it's interesting. So I'm gonna leave that there. I wish I could go deeper, but we can't from this podcast because I won't make it to my— to the office, and it'll be a long call. So anyway, so I met UPW, teaches this stuff, I'm fascinated by it. And then the next day I'm supposed to meet him. And so day 2 of the event, Tony's not facilitating it, there's somebody else facilitating it. And so I started getting text messages from Tony's assistant like, hey, okay, Tony wants to meet with you in like an "An hour." I'm like, "Alright." And then I get a text like 45 minutes later, "It's gonna be like 2 hours from now." And then, anyway, throughout the whole day, it started like, I think our meeting was supposed to be at 10 in the morning. I was getting texts every 30 minutes for like 10 hours until finally, just like, they kept pushing and pushing and pushing and finally I get a text like, "Okay, Tony's ready to meet you. Here's the address." And this is pre-Uber, so I'm like, "Okay." So I jump in a taxi, give him the address, and they're like, "This is like 45 minutes away." I'm like, "Are you serious? Is Tony not in the hotel?" So I get in this car, we're driving, I'm like, "I'm hoping I'm going to the right place." 'cause this is gonna be really embarrassing if I, yeah. So the taxi driver takes me to this hotel, drops me off, I text him, okay, I'm here. And then this guy texts back, his name is Jay Garrity. And Jay would, just to kinda put in perspective, so you feel my nervousness of the situation, Jay used to be the right-hand man for, oh, I'm blanking out his name right now, for Mitt Romney when he was doing the first political campaign and after, the first time he ran for president or whatever. Yeah, he was, Romney's right-hand man, and Tony hired him after that. In fact, most of Tony's team at the time were old Romney advisors, which was kind of interesting. So I get to the hotel, Jay Garrity comes down from the elevator, and he's like very professional, you know, the opposite of me, he's like, Mr. Robbins is not ready to meet you yet, let's just sit here in the lobby and wait. So I'm like, okay, so we sit in the lobby waiting, and it's like, you know, almost like Secret Service, that's what it felt like, and Jay kept looking at his phone, looking at his phone, like, no, not ready, not ready, and we probably sat there for another 45 minutes, and all of a sudden he's like, okay, Mr. Robbins is ready to meet you. We stand up, and I was like, like super intense and crazy, we jump in the elevator, we go up to the floor, We start walking down this hall really, really fast and we get to this room and the door's open and there's two security guards on both sides inside the room. I'm like, what the world? Walk through the security guards and then all of a sudden Tony, this giant of a man, walks in and says, Russell, welcome, and gives me a huge hug. I'm like, what? Like super crazy, right? And then he has me come sit down and he's made me dinner, or someone made me dinner. And at the time he was pure vegetarian, so it was like this dinner that was the most amazing thing in the world and it was pure vegetarian. I was like, I could be a vegetarian if I had someone that cooked this way. It was amazing. And then he took out his recorder, clicked record on it, set it on the table, opened up a journal, and then started drilling me for an hour, asked me question after question after question. It was insane. I've never been more nervous in my whole life. Drills me for an hour, you know, then we're done, we finish eating, we talk a little bit, and then he's like, "I gotta go back to the event." So we go down, we jump in this big old Suburban, someone was driving us, and Tony and I sat in the back and we talked. And what was interesting is while we were talking, he was talking about a deal that he was, that someone, he was thinking about doing with somebody in our market. I won't say their name 'cause you guys would all, most of you guys would know who this person was, but he said, I don't think I'm gonna do the deal because he's very significance-driven. And I was like, huh, interesting. And then after he said that, I started thinking like, you know, first I'm like, oh man, that sucks for that guy, and then I'm like, wait, what drives me? Am I significance-driven? Like, oh, Tony's like, can view into my soul, like, you know, I'm freaking out, like, what does he see about me? Like, what's driving me? Like, you know, I was so paranoid and panicky and it was crazy, and then we got to the event and Tony was like, I gotta go, I'll call you 3 hours later, jumps out of the car, goes in the hotel, and I'm standing out in the front lobby like, huh. Like that was the most intense, like 3 hours of my life. It was just crazy, right? But that thing he said, he said very significance-driven. So I started like studying, what does that mean? And basically it comes back to like the 4 human needs, right? Like one of those is the driver for you that drives most of the decisions in your life. For this person, he said it was significance. And I was like, so apparently that's bad, right? Tony didn't wanna work with this guy 'cause he's significance-driven. And I was kind of confused at first. And then a couple months later I went to Date with Destiny. And if you go to Date with Destiny, that's like the 6-day event Tony has. And it's amazing, like, it's like UPW times 10. In fact, I feel bad for people who only go to UPW, only get to walk on fire, 'cause you're missing like the depth of what Tony actually has to offer. So I'm at this next event, and the event's, there's so much stuff he covers. But if you look at like the one, the biggest thing that you learn at the event is he helps you identify the 6 human needs, which one is currently your driving force? And for most people, it's either significance or certainty, okay? And I wish we could give a couple-hour talk on this 'cause it would make more sense, but he also, they said the quality of your life is 100% dependent upon your ability, like your ability to, like the, how do I say it right? It's 100% tied to like, to your driving needs, right? So like if your driving need is significance, like that's gonna make you miserable. Whereas if your driving need is love and connection, the opposite, then you're gonna have a great life. And then the same thing on the opposite side. If your driving need is certainty, certainty, while it's important, it's a need that we have, if that's the driving force in your life, you always have to be certain about everything, like you're gonna be miserable. And so like it was basically help you identify what is your current driving need and then learning how to shift that to the other thing. So if you're significance-driven, learn, teaching how to be love and connection-driven. If you are certainty-driven, money-driven, shifting it to variety. Because the quality of your life is going to be completely dependent upon your ability to have variety and love and connection. Like, that's what gives you a good quality of life, not the other two. But most people, it's these other things that drive them. And that's what's interesting. I was listening to that and I was like, man. And for me, like, I'm— and I think most entrepreneurs, but I'm definitely heavily driven by significance. Like, in fact, now that I'm so aware of it, like, I hate it. In fact, in the world I work in, most of the— not most, but majority of the people I work with, the reason why they are in the guru business or whatever, it's because they're very significance-driven. And that's why I always hear people like, you know, you get to know who these people are and you don't actually like them because they're driven by this, no one calls it this, but it's 'cause they're driven by significance. And I've been doing a deal with a person, well, we were trying to, someone who I highly, highly, highly respected. And as I've done this deal, I've never met a human being on planet Earth more significance-driven than this person. And it's completely ruined the deal, it's ruined the relationship. So much so where this is someone like, I idolize, like this is someone that if you told me 5 years ago that I'd have a chance to talk to him, I wouldn't have believed it. And now like I'm avoiding their texts, their phone calls, like one of the most annoying human beings on earth because of significance is such a driving, like the only thing this person can see is significance. Like everything is tied to his personal significance and it's like destroying him. I've looked at his business, the people around him, like he's destroyed everything because he's so significance-driven. Yet the person's still brilliant, but like a miserable life. I can't imagine it. For me, and I have this struggle because it's a constant thing for me, and I'm sure for a lot of us, the significance drives us. We feel that. That's why we're entrepreneurs. That's why we're out there. Why we wanna be on stage. Why we write books. Because I'm aware, I try to check that all the time 'cause I hate it. That's the thing, I actually hate that about myself. I hate that I'm significance-driven. When people give me good compliments, I thrive off that. I love that. But then after I feel that, it bugs me 'cause I'm like, no. Like, I love that, but I can't, I shouldn't be significance-driven. Like, it's not a good quality of life. Like, I need to be driven by love and connection, by variety, by these other things that actually increase the quality of your life. Because connection, significance is all about like, look how great I am. And it makes you feel good, but it doesn't help anybody else. Like, the love and connection is what, that's where you're using your tools, your gifts in a more meaningful way. And so I know for you guys, I just wanted to kind of share some of that in a 10-minute message. I know that's— I wish I could go so much deeper, but start thinking about stuff like, what is it that drives you? If your personal significance is the driving force for you, I'd recommend stepping back from that. And it's always gonna be there, but being aware of it and like, man, am I just doing this for significance to make me feel better? And if that's the main reason why you're doing something, it's the wrong reason. If the reason is because you really care about people and you're trying to give them something and you have this love and connection towards them, it's just a better way to live. And I think people will see it and they'll notice it. I hope people notice that for me. Despite the fact that it's a constant thing that's there in front of me all the time and I'm constantly trying to check it and put it in the back and default to the love and connection, these other things, because that's— I know what's important what actually helps other people, not just your own ego. Ego is the enemy. I haven't read the book yet, I bought it and I bought the Audible. There's a book called Ego is the Enemy. And I'm excited to read it 'cause I think that that's what holds most of us back from connection, from true love and connection, from happiness, from growth, from all the other things we want. I feel like our ego, the significance we're craving is what holds us back from that. And if we are aware of that, at least you can do something about it. I wasn't aware of it. I look at my career, the first 5 or 6 years of my business prior to meeting Tony, I was not aware of it and it drove me and it drove me and it hurt my marriage, hurt my family life, hurt my relationship with friends. There were a lot of issues. And again, I'm so far from perfect. I still do things because of significance and I hate it, but I'm aware of it now and I try to not make that, I try not to make decisions based on that. I try to make decisions based on love and connection. Like, how will this help others as opposed to how does this put me on a pedestal? It's been good. It's been really good. And the relationships have come from it because of that. And I think that our ability to affect change in people's lives have been tenfold. And the interesting thing— this is the craziest thing about it— as I have tried to push away significance and focus on love and connection, I have become more relevant. And it's actually— I— it's weird, like, I've gotten significance by not going after it. It's weird. And I said, this person I'm dealing with, this person, despite the fact that they're brilliant, are— they're no longer relevant in our market, which is insane based on who they are and what they've accomplished, what they've done. But there's no relevancy, and it's because they've, they've, they've been driving and chasing after significance for so long, they completely destroyed all the relationships. Their market knows that it's all about them. Like, they've destroyed what they sought after. They've lost all significance. Because they've been seeking after it. It's so weird. Whereas if you don't, you seek love and connection, you seek that change in other people, you seek that, you will get the significance you're trying to get as a byproduct of it. So fascinating. Anyway, so hope that helps somebody out there. It's definitely helping me and being more aware of as I'm watching it unfolding before me. If you want to be, you know, if you want those things, that's kind of the workaround. So hope that helps you guys. The office is working. I will talk to you all again soon. Bye, everybody. Thanks so much for listening. We hope you enjoyed the behind-the-scenes look at our funnel hacking projects. You can also watch the Funnel Hacker online reality show and watch us build and launch funnels live at www.funnelhacker.tv. If you'd like to come hang out with your fellow funnel hackers, come join our Facebook group at www.projectclickfunnels.com. Oh yeah, and don't forget, you can get a free MP3 player with the first 257 episodes preloaded at marketinginyourcar.com. Join us next time, and remember, you're just one funnel away from your dreams.