The Big Masculine/Feminine Problem For Producers

Welcome to Marketing Your Car, the podcast for funnel hackers everywhere. You're now part of a small group of underground entrepreneurs who are trying to change the world through the products and the services that we believe in. But because we don't rely on venture capitalists, we don't have financial safety nets, so we have to do things differently. We have to do things smarter. We do that through an art and a science we call funnel hacking. This podcast will give you a glimpse at the daily life of a funnel hacker. So let's get started. Hey everybody, good morning, this is Russell once again. You probably know that at this point, but welcome to Marketing Your Car. Hope you guys are doing good. It is officially spring break here in Boise, which means the weather's nice, it means the kids are out of school, it means we're in shorts. Last time the kids were out of school, we had our 2 weeks of snow days, like 2 months ago, so it's nice to be on the other side. It's so fun, we have a chance to go swimming with them and playing and movies and What I wanna talk to you guys about is my struggle. I'm curious. My guess is if you're an entrepreneur, you may have this struggle as well where it's really hard to just be. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but like just to be present in one spot. And I've been thinking a lot about this over the last day or two. My wife was also at Tony Robbins' event last week, and so I was, after we had 4 days in her circle, she left on the 4th day, and after that we have a helper that helped Thursday and Friday, and then Saturday and Sunday was all me and the kids, and I loved it. But like, it's hard. And I mean, it's hard work, yes. Like, it makes you love and respect and appreciate your wife a million times more when you get to be the mom and the dad. But more so than that, like, I think it's just different 'cause like, I work really, really, really hard, probably too much, so, if you ask a lot of my people in my world. But like, I love it. And I think it's, like, there's two types of work, right? There's directional and then there's like circular. I don't know if that makes sense. I've been kind of geeking out a lot recently on masculine and feminine energy and things like that as well. And in fact, if you go to Tony Robbins' Date with Destiny, he has a whole day on relationships. It's just fascinating. And basically, it's funny, no matter what problems you have in a relationship, if you go to regular counseling, they try to fix the symptom of it, right? Like, oh, you need to talk better, whatever those things are, right? And that's what they're touching upon. But the foundational breakdown of every relationship is actually the loss of the polarity between masculine and feminine. So Tony's whole thing is like, Don't fix the symptom, come back to the issue. And like, what happens is men start becoming women and women start becoming men. And like, as soon as the polarity from masculine and feminine dies, like the whole relationship falls apart. And it's really fascinating. That's why in every relationship that's successful, there's a masculine and a feminine. And sometimes the female's more masculine, sometimes the male's more feminine. In fact, it's interesting if you look at it, such a non-marketing topic, but it still gets me excited. Like you look at, I've got friends who the men are more feminine and their wives are more masculine. Like almost always, like there's this thing where like the polarity between the two has to match. What causes connection, right? And so Tony's whole thing is like you fix that and you fix the masculine and feminine. 'Cause what happens, all right, we're gonna go on a little bit longer tangent then 'cause I'm getting excited. All right, so what happens in a relationship, right, is you get married and there's a masculine and a feminine. And again, I don't even care, you know, I'm not gonna go get political or non-political, but like in all relationships, right, like from, I don't even know the politically correct way to say it, but like, anyway, I'm not gonna go that far. Okay, anyway, we'll leave that there. Use your guys' imagination, right? Any relationship, masculine, feminine, right? And so, like let's say you get married, right? And at first the man's very manly and the woman's very womanly and then everything goes good. And then what happens is, if you look at how masculine energy works and how feminine energy works, right? Like feminine, the way that feminine energy causes change is through criticizing, right? So women will criticize someone to try to get them to change. Like it's just kind of, a thing that happens, right? Believe it or not, it just happens to be that way. And what happens at first is like the first year, 2 years, or 5 years, or 7 years of marriage, like man, masculine energy, that doesn't bother them. It bounces off them and they're fine. But after a while, like it breaks down masculine energy. And all of a sudden, as soon as men stop, the criticism keeps happening. And then also there's a point where like all of a sudden, like it breaks men down and then they like, And then also like they do that, they break from like being a masculine energy and like absorbing those things to like, to like, oh, it hurts their feelings. And then also they switch to like a feminine energy. And as soon as they do that, then like that's the deterioration of the relationship. Everything bad happens after that, right? As soon as the man, the masculine becomes feminine, then women lose their attraction to the man. And then the women end up becoming more masculine because they gotta step up for the men. And like all this stuff happens and all breaks apart. Tony's whole thing is he shows you like when a man becomes a man again, then boom, instantly the masculine-feminine polarity comes back together and the magnetism happens there and all the other problems fall away. Really fascinating, and as I learned that, it was a time when my wife and I were both struggling and I realized at the time I had become very feminine. And I still struggle with that in a lot of parts of my life, to be completely honest. You know, when I'm at work I'm very masculine, and when I'm not sometimes I slip into my feminine, but like, any of the issues we have, like, it's weird how I can tie it back to like me switching to my feminine. Anyway, it's really weird. So why did I bring up this? Why'd I bring this up? Oh yeah, so as I'm studying like masculine and feminine, trying to understand like what is feminine, what is masculine, like really understanding those things. Like masculine energy is more like moving towards something, right? Like there's my goal, I need to go hunt and kill and go get that thing. Whereas feminine energy is more like circular, if that makes sense. And so I remember the first time I kind of got this was with my wife, I don't know, 5 or 6 years ago. I was home with the kids on like a longer weekend weekend, and like I was struggling all day long, like stressing out. I'm like, ah, like, and she's like, what's the matter? I'm like, I don't know, like we're just sitting here playing games, same game over and over and over again, and we're doing this, and we're like, there's no point to any of this. And I'm like, we're just here. And she's like, she told me, she's like, that's the point. Like that's, and when I got that, I was like, huh. And I was able to stop like trying to get somewhere and sit back. And that's, I don't know if this goes against what I talked about earlier, but like it's more of the feminine energy, like being able to like be and like be present and stuff like that. And it was fascinating. So like, what's interesting is like, as I was with my kids this weekend, I was noticing my feelings. Like, why do I feel, I'm having so much fun, but like I feel things, right? I think what I was feeling as I was trying to like identify was like, I'm used to like going, like here's the thing, go hunt and kill, get that thing and come back. And I'm like running all, and like, I'm so comfortable in that zone or that whatever, like I'm able to do that. But then when it's like, just be, be present and like just be with the kids, it's really, really hard, like really hard for me. I don't know if you guys feel that as well, but it's just not natural to me. And so this weekend was really kind of fun 'cause I was trying to do that and try to be present and try to be there. And it's like this insane mind game with my mind coming back to like, no, go produce, go produce. I'm like, no, I need to be present. This is where I am. And the back and forth between that was fascinating in my head to watch my struggle constantly. And so this week is spring break week. I'm trying to like, I'm trying to figure out how to get more balance in my life. I don't know about you guys, but I think a lot of us struggle with that. So I've been looking at that like, okay, how do I, this week with my kids, how do I do that? How do I be present but also have like the producing thing in me that I need to be able to do that thing, right? And so like today, for example, I woke up, or yeah, I woke up really early at 6 and I had a call with Tara and I had a bunch of projects. I spent 2 hours and it's like produced and it was done. Unchecked and I looked at my clock and said, "Okay, right now it's whatever, 7:30 or whatever." I'm like, "Okay, till 10:30 I'm gonna go and just be." There's no point and that's the point. And so I went out with the kids and I had a good time. We just hung out and it wasn't stressful 'cause I knew at 10:30 I was gonna jump in the car and come and produce. And then I'm basically, so this is where I'm at now. I'm driving to the office. Well, I'm now at the office in the parking lot waiting. But now I'm gonna go produce. I'm trying to make it finite so it's not like producing for forever. I'm gonna from now until I think 4 o'clock I have a dentist appointment. I'm gonna go to producer at 4 o'clock and I have one big project I have to get done and then when it's done, the rest of the night I have to be done. I'm gonna go home and we're gonna, me and some of the kids, watch The Lord of the Rings and we're just gonna go and be and be present and just not produce, which is gonna be hard but I did the same thing yesterday and it was really cool except for right before we started watching the movie, I had all this stress and these things. I was trying to figure out how I could, okay, I could create this thing while I'm watching the movie with the kids, like da da da da. And then I was just like, no, I'm just gonna be present and I'll just worry about tomorrow. And so I checked, and as soon as I was able to turn that off and say, okay, I'm not a producer right now, from this point to this point, I'm just gonna be, and that's the whole point, then I can do it. And I did, and it was awesome. And I had such a good time with them. So anyway, I don't know if this helps you at all, but in my mind, it's, at least the last two days have been really cool. And I'm excited to keep testing out this whole week. And I hope I can keep rolling with it, 'cause it gave me so much more good times with my kids and my wife. And it wasn't uncomfortable because I was segmenting that. So for me, I said I'm gonna start chunking my days. It's like this is my time to be a producer and this is my time to be. And be okay with that. And when I'm trying to just be present and be here, I'm gonna not try to produce. I'm gonna forget about production and moving forward and like going after a goal. 'Cause the goal is just to be there. Anyway, hopefully it helps some of you guys. Helped me, it's helping me. To overcome my entrepreneurial issues. So, anyway, hopefully someone, one of you guys out there heard that and it helps you as well. So, with that said, I'm gonna go produce. I'm gonna go hunt something and kill it and bring it back home and I'm excited for it. It's gonna be exciting. So, thanks so much for everything, guys, and I'll talk to you soon. Thanks so much for listening. We hope you enjoyed the behind-the-scenes look at our funnel hacking projects. You can also watch the Funnel Hacker online reality show and watch us build and launch funnels live www.funnelhacker.tv. If you'd like to come hang out with your fellow funnel hackers, come join our Facebook group at www.projectclickfunnels.com. 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