The Formula For Convincing Copy (2 of 2)

I don't think there's anybody that has had a bigger impact in the field of direct response than Dan Kennedy.

The legend of Dan Kennedy should be ignored at your own peril.

They're not really lessons, they're kind of laws that you live by.

Dan opened my eyes to what small business marketing looks like. Dan teaches strategic direct response that is timeless. His ripple effect touches people who don't even know his name.

The world as we know it was changed because Dan Kennedy became obsessed with marketing.

Welcome to the Magnetic Marketing Podcast with your host, Dan Kennedy.

All right, let's move on. I got more testimonials later, but let me move on with the letter. As you can imagine, I get huge personal satisfaction when I receive letters like the ones above. And throughout the letter, for helping people get top dollar, all capitalized, for their real estate notes. And I'd like to add you to my list of satisfied and happy clients. In fact, Many of my clients become friends and we keep in touch for years after we've worked together. That's beautiful. I wrote that. Jeff couldn't, would never say that. But here, but here, so here, but here's the deal. Many of my friends become friends and we keep in touch for years after we work together. This is honesty, integrity. This is relationship. We're not selling anything other than relationship here. Emotional. This is an emotional piece here. Here's all you have to do to get started. Simply, now this is clear call to action. Here's all you have to do to get started. Here's all you have to do to get started. Simply pick up the phone and call me personally toll-free at 1-800-876-3071. Bold and bigger font, okay? To get the ball rolling, all I need are the answers to 3 simple questions. In fact, let me tell you exactly what they are so you'll be prepared. They pick up the phone, they're ready to go. There's no, you know, pick up the phone, call them up, they got the answers to the questions. How much are you receiving as a monthly payment? Approximately what percentage of the time you receive your monthly payments on a timely basis? And what is the approximate length or term or length of your real estate note? See, I told you the questions were simple, and that's all I need to get the ball rolling. That doesn't mean that that's all he's ever going to need, but to get the ball rolling, that's all Jeff needs. Okay, if you call me or my assistant Melanie, so okay, so if Jeff isn't there, his assistant Melanie. What am I doing? I don't want it to feel— if they call and they don't get Jeff, I don't want to all of a sudden say, hey, this is something scammy here. So we're now introducing Melanie. Okay, and actually that's his assistant's name if I'm not mistaken. All right, I did a lot of research here, and we're on the phone away from the office, just leave your name, best phone number to reach you, the time you called, and we'll get right back to you in a flash. Get right back to you in a flash. Very personal kind of language. One last word of warning. As I mentioned to you at the beginning of the letter, all signs indicate that the Federal Reserve is about to hike interest rates again. So now I'm creating fear again, which, which will result in the mortgage you're holding to decrease in value. So there is a real risk in waiting, and I hate to see you lose out while I can still help. I urge you to pick up the phone right now while you're reading this letter and let's chat. If I can't help you, we'll know right away, but I'm pretty sure I can get you top dollar for your real estate notes you're holding. Next and final page. 4-page letter dedicated to getting you top dollar for your real estate notes. I don't know if that sounds familiar, but at Glaser Kennedy, we always talk about dedicated to your income to, you know, we always dedicated it to something. So I put my little spin on this. Jeff, signed by Jeff, not Jeff Wiley, signed by Jeff, because remember, they're just going to call him Jeff. That's all they're going to call him. Okay, and then we have his name written underneath the President of New York Commercial Lending. Okay, then we go to the PSs. And what are the purposes of the PSs? The purposes of the PSs is to go back and restate all the most important facts in the letter, because the first thing that anybody reads when they read a letter is a P.S., correct? Right? That's absolutely false. The first thing that anybody reads when they get a letter is the headline. The second thing they read is the P.S. So the P.S. has got to have all the goodies in it, because if somebody just reads the headline and they go right to the P.S., because everybody knows all the goodies is in the P.S. So look how we went through the PS again, with how I wrote these PSs in order to go all the big benefits. PS number 1: Call me toll-free at 1-800-867-3071 to get the ball rolling. All I need are the answers to 3 simple questions listed in this letter. PPS: If it's easier— now here's a second call to action— if it's easier for you to go online to respond to the 3 easy questions, just go to topdollarfornotes.com and fill out the answers, and I'll get right back to you. So we're giving them an alternate way to go, which is go online. If you go online, what do you find? It's online. We haven't, we haven't created this yet, but what do you find? It's online. The 3 questions, you know, the 3 simple questions. Put in your name, phone number, best time to call, and the story. That's all you need online. It's all you actually need because that's all we— that's all the information we need. PPPS. I thought you'd like to see some other real estate, real comments from people just like you who I've helped get top dollar for real estate notes. So the next one is from Elizabeth Barfield. So why do I have these other 3 testimonials here, by the way? The main reason I have them— I don't know if anybody was screaming out, because I know this is what you were about to scream out in the back there— it's because I had more space. And so I hate blank space, so whenever I got blank space, I'm going to fill them up with testimonials. So if I had enough room for 8 testimonials, I'd use 8 testimonials. 'cause there's no reason for blank space. So the first one comes from Elizabeth Barfield. Jeff and the folks at New York Commercial Lending got me top dollar quickly, $50,000 for my note. I'm a 68-year-old widowed retired schoolteacher— you think I didn't pick her for a reason— and suffer from ALS, a degenerative nervous system disorder that makes it very hard for me to get around. I mean, this is Good thing Joan Rivers isn't here. She'd make fun of this lady. The money has allowed me to hire a full-time caregiver, which makes my life much more pleasant. Now, I'm telling you, you should be— I should be sending this letter out with tissues. I'm not kidding. The next one is from Carol Bowling. Jeff Weiler and New York Commercial Lending helped us get top dollar for our note. They worked through many difficult issues on the deal and found a private buyer in recent time We are retired in our 70s. So again, worked through many difficult issues to retire in our 70s. My husband Virgil has had 5 heart bypass surgeries, and the sale of this note helped us simplify our affairs. I mean, the only thing better than this could have been 6 bypass surgeries. This was just great. And then Daniel Moog, Jeff and Company, and New York Commercial Lending arranged to get me top dollar fast for my last note to pay for my chemotherapy fighting cancer. I don't have to worry about money anymore. I mean, these are the kind of testimonials that you want. Okay, so you have seen step number 1 of a campaign. You saw the research. You saw once we did the research, which was the hardest part, okay? And believe me, working with Jeff and getting good answers is tough. So no, Jeff was a pleasure to work with. So we got— we went back and forth, we got our research done, then we— then I wrote the first sales letter. Okay, okay. But of course, all Glazer Kennedy members know— you saw magnetic marketing today— what happens after the first sales letter? Second sales letter. Okay, so the second sales letter I used was the wallet mailer. Why did I use the wallet mailer? I used the wallet mailer mainly because of something that the client told me. Which was he was getting good results with the wallet mailer. So if it's not broken, I didn't want to fix it. All right, he was getting good results with it. I just— what all I did was take it and make it better. So here, so, so when I created the wallet mailer, here's what I have to do. I have to come up with a headline. When actually, when I wrote the first group of headlines, I knew I was using the wallet mailer on the second one. So here's the headline I came up with for that one, which is: Need money? This is absolutely the easiest way for you to turn your real estate note into cash. That was my headline that was in sync with the wallet mailer. Here is what the wallet mailer looks like for those of you who don't know what a wallet mailer is. So the outside of it is the top part. It folds in half and you mail it out to the person. Same kind of idea, make it look handwritten with stamps up top. And then when you open up inside, printed on there is these phony or fake credit cards, and then you have a place for a message. So my message was, guaranteed to give you top dollar for your real estate note fast, or I'll buy you a $100 gourmet dinner for two at your favorite restaurant. Sound familiar? I use my guarantee there. Now, did you notice something important on this wallet mailer inside? What's important about this? There's money sticking out the top, okay? And so what I did was on the top of my letter, I printed money on the top of the letter. So it would stick out the top, because if you're getting something in the mail, you want money to stick out of the top of it. So basically speaking, I got it here. Good. I used the same letter again, with the exception of the beginning. I had to change the opening, so the rest of the letter is the same. So here is the opening: Need money? This is absolutely the fastest way for you to get people who own real estate notes in 1001 zip code in Omaha, Nebraska to turn them into cash. By the way, notice how I spelled cash. Okay? Notice the A is smaller and instead of the S I used the dollar sign. Again, every word is important. Then what I did is this. True Dan Kennedy marketing. What do you always want to make sure you do in the follow-up piece?

What?

Refer back to the previous piece. Always want to refer back. So here you go. Dear real estate note holder, about 10 days ago I sent you a personal letter introducing myself to you and letting you know that right now is the best time to buy your real estate notes between $100,000 and $500,000 for top dollar before the Fed raises interest rates. And then basically the rest of it's the same. All I changed really was the headline and the opening sentence. It's actually better if you don't make a lot of changes because you want them to actually refer back, you want the familiarity of the previous piece. There are 3 types of people that will, 3 types of responses that you will get in anything that you do. One of the responses you get is a yes response. Yes, I'm gonna take you up on your offer. I'm gonna give Jeff, I wanna give you a call. Another response you get is, Jeff, I don't wanna take you up on your offer. To hell with you. I don't want anything to do with you at all. You're in New York, you gotta be a scumbag. Okay? So that's the second one, okay? And the third one is, now that's not my Jeff, but somebody could be thinking that. And the third one is, what's the third offer? The third offer is, Maybe. I'm not ready right now, but let me think about it. So the familiarity of the second marketing piece referring to the first and making it look in many ways as similar to as possible actually helps you with the maybe people. So the rest of that letter is the same. So there's that and that, and that's all the same. Okay, now we go to step number 3. So we sent them out mail. 2 steps in mail. And I like— my personal preference is I like now using another media, because if I didn't get them to respond to direct mail, I want to now use another media. So my other media that I'm using is one that I've had a lot of success with, which is a Pearls postcard campaign. And this one, as much as I've tested other ones with myself and clients, this is the one that always sort of gets me the best results. You want to see that one? Nah, so I won't show you that one. So now, so here it is. Ready? It's a simple postcard. It's coming from top left-hand corner, it's one side, Jeff Weiler, Susan Boyle. It's 4 inches by 6 inches. And the inside part is, by the way, I use Courier New font. Courier New font. Why do I use Courier New font? Typewriter, baby. This is from Jeff Weiler's rusty old typewriter. And most of you in the room are too young to know this, But when you actually had typewriters— you guys know what typewriters are? Some of you do. Okay, when you actually had a typewriter, it was Courier New font, so I wanted to make it look like a typewriter. So from Jeff Wild, Rusty Old Typewriter: Hi Susan, it's me, Jeff. Again, Jeff. And I've got some really important news for you about your real estate note. Seriously. So I built you a special website with a personal note on it just for you. Please go to SusanBoyle@YourNote.com Speak to you online, Jeff. So now I am trying to move them online. Now I am going to show you the online sales letter. There's a couple things about it I'm going to show you. I'm going to tell you about before I use it, I show it to you. Number 1, it is a video sales letter. It's a video sales letter which is really a PowerPoint and audio behind it. So there's somebody actually saying it as you are seeing the PowerPoint appear. Everybody follow that? It has a headline on top of it. The headline will have Susan Boyle's name in it because it's a PURLs. What is PURLs? PURLs is personal URLs. So this thing that you see here, it says Susan Boyle yournote.com. Everybody that you mail to, their first name appears there. And when they type that in, it automatically, the software automatically, by the voodoo of all voodoos, knows how to move you to recognize that and then put your name at the top. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure how many of the vendors here offer this, but I know the Print Concierge here. Anybody here from the Print Concierge? Yeah, yeah, I know they offer it. Anybody here from Print Concierge? Nobody here? You know what? Don't go to their booth. Screw those guys. They should be in the room right now. You go to their booth, you go to their booth and you tell them they should be in the room and they just got a great thing from me. There's— I see your mother's over there. Okay, go there. Mom, we're going to go to Prince Concierge because they meant to be in the room but they were out, you know, whatever. Donahue is on now, I guess. I don't know. So good. Okay, okay. So Prince Concierge can do this for you. Lots of folks can do this for you right now. And I know they already have a big turnkey system for this whole thing. So now, so number one is you're going to see the name, because once we get started, I won't have time to tell you about it. You're going to have to watch it. So the first thing is you're going to see it, and you're going to see the technique, which I like a lot. It's real simple for people to use. It doesn't require a super great copywriter to do it. It's take the sales letter, chop it up into pieces, and have somebody read it, which gets me to my second point. I had Jeff read it. Now if I brought, and I like Jeff a lot, but if I had Jeff up here and you heard him, and you're about to hear him, Jeff sounds like he's in the New York Mafia, okay? That's exactly what he sounds like. Wait till you hear it, okay? You tell me if I'm wrong after you listen to this. So this is the first pass Jeff did. If I were to work with Jeff on this beyond this, I would give him a little bit of voice coaching. Coaching. Okay, but for right now, he— this is like a hitman that's going to come and just tear your heart out. So if with that, you guys want to hear Jeff? Yeah, you want to hear Jeff? This is great. Okay, Jeff, I don't know how you're going to get back to your room tonight. Okay, so here we go. I hope this works.

And I'm president of New York Commercial Lending. Can we try to stop me, Jeff? I've been trying hard to reach you. I want to let you know that right now is the best time for me to buy your real estate note or notes between $100,000 and $500,000 for top dollar before the feds raise interest rates again, causing your note to go down in value. Here's what this is all about and why it's so important you don't ignore me, and that's why I built this special website for you. Whenever the Federal Reserve raises interest rates, The note that you are holding the mortgage on decreases in value. And here's a sobering thought: the Feds have hiked interest rates 17 times since June of 2004, and everything indicates that they're about to do it again. Why not convert your note into cash before the next rate hike and get top dollar now? Of course, there are several other reasons it makes sense to get top dollar for your real estate notes right now. See how many of these apply to you. You have money available for medical fees, buying another property, retirement, unexpected bills. You can't stop worrying about getting paid by your borrower. You need to pay off personal debt. Your property has not been kept up. It isn't in good shape and you're worried it is no longer a good security. You prefer to turn your note into a liquid asset so you can have access to the cash right away and the security that goes with it. You can avoid family estate conflicts after you're gone. And don't forget, you've already possibly gotten a down payment and received a bunch of payments already, so what you've received for your property is a lot combined with what we will pay for your note. Well, I'm here on an entire risk-free basis. I've been personally trained by and formed an affiliate partnership with the top note buyer in the nation who has assembled an elite group of buyers including banks, savings and loans principals, and individual investors. Collectively, we have purchased over 30,000 notes within the past 30 years valued at over half a billion dollars. Not only will you find working with me a great decision, but I'm actually willing to guarantee it with my personal money. Here's my personal guarantee to get you top dollar for your real estate note fast, or I'll buy you a $100 gourmet dinner for two at your favorite restaurant. That's right, I'm even willing to put my own money where my mouth is and personally guarantee that if I can't get you top dollar for your real estate note, I'll buy you a $100 gourmet dinner for two at the favorite restaurant of your choice. Is that fair or what? Of course, I couldn't make an offer like this to hundreds of people just like you. I've sent this letter to— if I couldn't deliver, I'd go broke by giving away gourmet dinners. So you better believe I'm going to get you top dollar. For example, LC and Evelyn Gore from Mejia, Texas wrote, "Jeff Wyler and his people at New York Commercial Lending were essential in getting our notes sold fast. We're in our late 70s and due to medical bills from my heart attack, my wife and I had fallen on tough financial times. We were living in a drafty, half-built house and driving an unreliable car. The $70,000 that he got us was top dollar and was essential." to get us into a decent home and a car that puts some money in the bank. Or Mitch Miller, President of Mitch Miller and Associates Real Estate in Nyack, New York, says, "When it comes to buying real estate notes from note holders, structuring real estate note deals, or investing in real estate notes, Jeff Wyler is the man. I have sold notes to him and I have invested with him and I can personally attest to his honesty and integrity on anything he says or promises." As you can imagine, I get huge personal satisfaction when I receive letters like the ones above and throughout this letter for helping people get top dollar for their real estate notes, and I'd like to add you to my list of satisfied and happy clients. In fact, many of my customers become friends and we keep in touch for years after we've worked together. Here's all you have to do to get things started. Simply pick up the phone and call me personally toll-free at 1-800-867-3071 to get the ball rolling. All I need are the, are the answers to 3 simple questions. In fact, let me tell you exactly what they are so you'll be prepared. How much are you receiving as a monthly payment? 2, approximately what percentage of the time are you receiving your monthly payments on a timely basis? 3. What is the approximate term or length of your real estate note? See, I told you the questions were simple and that's all I need to get the ball rolling. If when you call me or my assistant Melanie are on the phone or away from the office, just leave your name, best phone number to reach you, the time when you called, and we'll get right back to you in a flash.

TopDollarForNotes.com.

One last word of warning. As I mentioned to you at the beginning of this letter, all signs indicate that the Federal Reserve is about to hike interest rates again, which will result in the mortgage you're holding to decrease in value. So there's a real risk in waiting, and I hate to see you lose out while I can still help. I urge you to pick up the phone right now while you're reading this letter and let's chat. If I can't help you, we'll know right away, but I'm pretty sure I can get you top dollar for the real estate notes you're holding. Call me toll-free at 1-800-867-3071. That's 1-800-867-3071 to get the ball rolling. All I need are the answers to 3 simple questions I just mentioned, or if it's easier for you to go online to respond to the 3 easy questions, click onto the special link beneath this video and it will take you right to a form where you can fill out the answers and I'll get right back to you. And don't forget, when we talk, just call me Jeff.

TopdollarforNotes.com. Okay, good. Hey, can you put that last slide back up there for a second, guys? Alright, so a couple things. Obviously, the audio sucked, okay? And so it easily could have been with some training, we could have easily have had Jeff do a much better job with the audio. And/or we could have hired a professional voice that didn't sound like a professional voice. Because I didn't want it to sound professional. I wanted it to sound like you and me talking. But we could hire a professional voice that sounded, you know, like somebody's talking but a little bit better than somebody that looks like they're coming over to do like a hit. For the mafia. So, so, so, kidding, Jeff. Jeff, I hope you're not with the mafia. So, so, I mean, I don't really know him that well, you know. So, uh, so that's that. Another thing that, however, a couple things on there I want to point out to you. Had that been a good audio content, it would not have seemed as laboring to listen to that. However, if— I don't know what you're doing there, but When you went there, the Susan Boyle on the top of it is now the feeling that this site was created just for them. So again, it's that feeling of you are talking to me. The other thing that I point out to you is at the very end, the last slide, there was a link right then and there. You could click on that link that would take you to answer the questions. We were already online. We could have kept them in the same media that they were already in not to have to go to a phone to call us. So we gave them two choices, either a phone choice or while I'm right there, just click on that, just fill it out. So that's a very important part of that too. But again, it's a three-step process, and the last step I actually use online media, and I use a very, very simple, um, uh, sales letter format online, which is just follow the bouncing ball. It's really what it is. If those of you that are old enough to remember that, it's just basically the ball is following along as you are reading it. And they are very, very effective uses of online video today. Ryan Deiss is in my InfoMastermind group, has tested this extensively, and in most cases he's getting a better result on this online video sales letter where you're never seeing anybody. You're never seeing a talking head. You're just hearing audio and following along in the sales letter, which are much, much easier to create. So if you're looking for an easy thing to create, these are very, very easy to create. I'm gonna show you real quickly two other quick things that I think would help you also in this Cash Copy Clinic tonight. But did you guys get the Jeff Weiler piece? You get that? You saw the background to it, the research to it, 3-step approach, how to use 3 different approaches. Et cetera. Okay. ROI Revolution is a client of mine. They're actually here in— Is anybody from ROI Revolution in the room? Okay. So ROI Revolution, so he asked me to help him create a display ad, a small display ad that works in the trade journal. And so here again, I just want to show you the thinking that went behind it. This was an ad. First, the headline choices. If your company is spending at least In this particular case, it became $5,000 monthly on pay-per-click advertising. I'd like to give you a free AdWords optimizer strategy call before you waste another dime. Headline number 1. Headline number 2 is, how much of your pay-per-click advertising dollars are you flushing down the toilet each month by— notice again, each month is in small letters— by bidding on traffic that is not searching for anything you are offering? Free one-on-one AdWords optimizer strategy call reveals all. Last one is, "Why are you giving away AdWords optimizer strategy calls for free? Please read below to find out this is not a misprint." The winning one actually turned out to be, I believe, I think it was headline number 1, because we only want to deal with people that are spending at least $5,000 a month. So we would rather use our headline as a sifting and sorting to only get people that we want to respond to respond. Here's a couple testimonials. We had a bunch of testimonials. They follow the testimonial format that I mentioned to you before. The big thing— I'm not going to read them to you, but the big thing I want to show you here is one of the things I did here on these testimonials is I created a headline for each of the testimonials. So the first one is, boosted our conversion rate a phenomenal 12.1% in just 3 months. I pulled that out, uh, I pulled that copy out of the testimonial. Sales increased by 246%. That is in there. Absolutely a pleasure to deal with. That is in there. So I'm creating little mini headlines for my testimonials, and that's a very, very nice strategy when looking to write testimonials, is to create little mini headlines for them. Here's all the copy that you get with the free words, "Optimize a strategy call will reveal." So we created these bullet points of the things that you'll learn on this thing. What keywords you're missing. Are you hemorrhaging money by not using the proper tracking tools? Are you missing the biggest source of traffic Google can provide by not advertising on the entire internet? Are you wasting a chunk of cash by By bidding on traffic that actually is not searching for anything you're offering. Can you easily and quickly save 20% or more by quickly improving your structure or your organization? How to use ROI's proprietary bidding tactics. Now, there's a lot of keywords in here that I wrote. He gave me the bullets, but this whole thing, how to use ROI's proprietary, I added that word. So they have a bidding process, but there now it's proprietary. What's another one? Are you hemorrhaging money? Hemorrhaging money gives you a visual right away. So those are bullets that we created from the content he gave me to make the bullets much, much more powerful. Additional elements that I told him to use for the ad, which is a photo of Timothy with a caption beneath it that says, Timothy Stewart, ROI Revolution CEO, will show you how to cut all the fat and waste from your monthly AdWords budget, and a clear and simple instruction of how to respond. So this is the content that I gave them to go create the ad. Oh, additional copy I had on here, which I don't think we— we ran out of space. We never had to use it. So here's the ad. So as you can see in the actual ad that appears in several newspapers around the country right now, in marketing newspapers, "Are you spending at least $5,000 monthly on Google?" Again, we wanted to get— just weed out who would not be right for us. Learn how many of your AdWords dollars are being wasted with a free one-on-one AdWords optimizer strategy call. So everything is moved to the strategy call. We're not trying to move right to the sale. We are moving to a strategy call. This goes back to the point that I made before is don't complicate sales, um, process by trying to get to the end result too fast. So actually all you're doing is just trying to get a strategy call. Once we get a strategy call, we can show them everything that's wrong with everything they're doing. And you can see there, this is basically the ad that was created in there with a photo of Timothy. We only had enough space to use one of our testimonials, not all of them. We talk about what's in the free AdWords Optimizer strategy call. It looks like we had to take out a couple of the bullets. We just kept the strongest ones that were in there. So a lot of times when we write copy, we're writing more than we can actually use. I want to show you one other piece that actually I wrote from my brother-in-law, Ed, who's actually here. And I don't even know if he's using these anymore, but I just wanted to really quickly show you, this is a 3-step campaign. He's a dentist, and I'm not going to go through all the pieces of it. I'm only going to show you really is the repurposing of this. So here's a 6-inch by 11-inch postcard. It's my favorite size of postcard that there is, 6 inches by 11 inches. The moment you go over 4 by 6, it costs you the same to mail out and postage the same amount up to 6 by 11. So since you can go up to a maximum of 6 by 11, there's no reason not to go to the max. Most printers try to talk you into a 6 by 9. 'cause they claim that it gives you a little bit better yield in paper. It might, but the 6x11 is a much more powerful impact. So this is the postcard that we sent out. I'm not going to dissect it for you. The only thing I will show you is that we use, once again, the zip code in the headline. "Who else living in zip code 21043?" We want people to say, "This is for me." So on both sides of the postcard, we actually are using the zip code ZIP code to get people to say, this is for me. Then what we do is we follow it up with a second postcard. This is the cheapest, down-and-dirty way to do this, which is in the corner, just take the same old postcard and snipe it. Easiest way to do it. It says, second opportunity, offer extended. That's it. Just both sides, easy. So you don't have to create anything else again, because I know people, they're looking for shortcuts. So you want to see the third one? What do you think the third one says in the upper right-hand corner? Absolutely, I would never do that. What I did is now I wrote it all over the thing. Third and final notice, okay? That's all I did is just cover it up. Third and final notice. And that's like— so I use the same postcard over and over again just by using— making changes in it. But again, it lets them know that this is part of a campaign, so there's familiarity that's is within it.

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