What Do You Really Want?

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Success without fulfillment is ultimate failure. Oh, that one hurt me. I'll say it again. Success without fulfillment is ultimate failure. How many of my Achievers in the room just heard that like, oh, that's not, that doesn't feel good at all, right? Like we love achieving, love chasing the dream. Like we're trying to accomplish this thing and we're chasing it and we're working towards it, thinking that at the end of the rainbow, then we'll get our reward and then we'll feel fulfilled, but they're disconnected. So I'm working on a new definition of this word where success equals achievement plus fulfillment, these two things together. In the last decade, I went from being a startup entrepreneur to selling over $1 billion of my own products and services online. This show is gonna show you how to start, grow, and scale a business online. My name is Russell Brunson, and welcome to the Marketing Secrets Podcast.

What's up?

This is Russell Brunson, and I am actually coming to you today from inside of my wrestling room here at my house., and you may be wondering why are we talking here inside the wrestling room, and I'll explain here in a minute. I got a story I gotta tell to you from inside of here, but before I do, I wanna talk about, do you know why you do what you do? Why are you driven to do the thing that you're trying to accomplish in life? It could be anything. It could be sports, athletics, could be business, could be entrepreneurship, could be something, but do you know why you actually, why you wanna do what you do? That's the question I wanna kinda lead out with today, and then we're gonna talk about that from a bunch of different angles. A lot of you guys know I'm obsessed with Napoleon Hill. And if you read Napoleon Hill, basically everything he's ever published from the Law of Success to Think and Grow Rich to How to Raise Your Own Salary to like everything he published, Outwit the Devil, which is the best one he ever wrote, but all of them, one of the things he leads with, the first law of success actually, is always having a definite purpose. Like what is the thing you actually want to do? Do you know exactly what it is? And Outwit the Devil talks about how only 2% of of society, of people know what they wanna do. They actually have a direction and a thing that they're moving towards. Everybody else is just drifting and wandering around and hoping that someday something happy bumps into 'em, right? Whereas only 2% of people have this driven gene where they're like, this is what I'm doing, this is where I'm moving towards, this is what I want, and they know what it is, right? Earl Nightingale talks about this in The Strangest Secret, talks about how like a boat inside of a, you know, they're leaving shore or whatever, that they don't have a rudder, that is kind of like bumping, it'll knock into different things and eventually we're just gonna crash. But by having that rudder which points you in direction, it can get you anywhere you wanna go across the whole world, right? And there's the power of having that purpose, like a definite purpose of what you're doing, what you're trying to achieve, knowing exactly what it is. And so for a lot of us, I think you may hear me or some, maybe you read Napoleon Hill talk about like what's your definite purpose and you know what it is. But I wanna suggest for you today that maybe you don't know what it is. And then to take it a little further, I wanna talk about you guys as entrepreneurs and working with customers and trying to change people's lives. And this comes back to selling online, this comes back to persuasion, all those kind of things, like really understanding this at a deep, deep, deep level, okay? And so I'll tell you the story here about this wrestling room. So if you know my background, I wrestled in high school growing up, I was a state champion my junior year in high school. My senior year, I actually lost in the state finals in the semis of state tournaments. I took third in state my senior year. But that loss drove me to, had to figure out like, how am I gonna be, I didn't wanna be someone who like, I don't know, in my mind, I needed to prove to myself that I wasn't just, you know, an okay wrestler who won state once, but like I was something special. And so for the next like 3 months of my life, I was working out 7 hours a day trying to get to the next level. 'Cause the national tournament was a couple months later. Went to the national tournament. To be at that national tournament, you had to be a senior and you had to be a state champion. And I think I had 63 guys in my weight class, multiple 2 and 3 and 4-time state champs. And I got in this thing, you know, I'm the guy who won in my junior year, but not my senior year. And everyone else is, you know, again, the pedigree of all the people in the bracket were insane. And I came through and I ended up taking 2nd place in the nation. I beat all the other state champs, beat a 3-timer in the semifinals, a 2-timer in the semifinals, then the finals lost by 2 points, but proved myself like that I was something special, right? So that was my wrestling. Then from there, I went and wrestled at BYU for a year. They cut the wrestling program. After that, I went on a mission for the Mormon Church for 2 years. I was knocking doors in New Jersey, having the time of my life, talking about Jesus with a whole bunch of amazing people out there. And I came home, I wrestled at Boise State. It's my passion, my love. So my favorite thing of all time I've ever done is wrestling by far. Everything else is like a close second. In fact, people have asked me before, like about business. I was like, I would give up business in a heartbeat if I could go back and start wrestling and competing again. And like, there's no way. Like, you make so much money. I'm like, no, you don't understand. Like that feeling, getting my hand raised, like that trumps everything. The closest I've gotten to feeling something similar to that is like at an event when you get a table rush, you get 100 people running to the back of the room. Like that's the closest feeling to getting my hand raised in a match, but it's not, it's not better. So I love wrestling, it's my favorite thing. So anyway, my senior year in college, I'm at the wrestling tournament, I lose my match. Sorry, it was the Pac-10 tournament. And I was planning, in my mind, I was gonna go to nationals. I thought I had a chance of placing in nationals. I'd beaten the guy that was ranked 9th in the country. The guy, Johnny Hendricks, became a UFC fighter. He was like gonna be a 3-time NCAA champ. I lost him by 2 points earlier in the season. I thought, anyway, I thought I had a shot at being an All-American, which was my goal. 'Cause in high school, I was an All-American, took 2nd place in the country. So top 8 places in the country get All-Americans. So high school, I was an All-American. Senior year in college, I was like, that was the goal. That was the mission. That was like my definite purpose. And I was at the Pac-10 tournament. And my first match, I beat the returning Pac-10 champs. I'm just like, everything's going well. And then something happened, I don't know. And then losing. In fact, oh, I'm gonna show you guys something cool. If you look right behind me, this picture, that painting, this is actually a painting on the wall. It's kind of hard to see exactly. That's my face right there. That's my very last match I ever wrestled in college. And actually ended up losing that match. And that was the end of my career. And we're sitting there on the side of the mat like, now what? That was all, like, that's, huh. And it was over. And I didn't go to the national tournament. I didn't do anything. And it was just, it was one of those things that was really hard for me. And so, Some of you guys are probably looking behind me. Yes, this is wrestler.com. If you go there, there's nothing there yet. Someday I'm gonna build a wrestling brand called wrestler.com. So I thought I should put that in my, and yes, that is a cauliflower ear, and that is actually my cauliflower ear. I made the logo my ear. So if you're ever wondering the wrestler.com logo, yes, it is my ear. So anyway, back to this story. So I get in wrestling, and I don't know about you guys, but you know how you spent your entire life chasing a dream, and then it's gone, like that's where a lot of people go into depression or, yeah, a lot of different things, right? 'Cause they missed the shot. In fact, I had somebody, Eileen Wilder messaged me today. I'm gonna pull my phone. Interesting, she asked about, she said, I'll tell you exactly what she said so I don't have to quote it. It was interesting. She said, "Russell, your ability to not dwell on the past is one of the things I admire most about you." And I was like, "Oh." And then I sent her this screenshot from "The Lion King" where Rafiki hits Simba on the head and then Simba's like, He's like, "Ah, what was that for?" And he says, "It doesn't matter, it was in the past." "Yeah, but it still hurts." He said, "Oh yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or you can learn from it." Right? So for me, like, I'm pretty good at like, they always say like depression comes from thinking about the past, anxiety comes about thinking about the future. So for me, it's like, I don't dwell on the past. And so I got done wrestling and I think if I would've dwelt in the past, like I would've gone into depression or something. 'Cause it was hard like to spend a decade or more of your life on a goal and then not hit it. And there's nothing else you can do. It's like, it's over, the tournament's done. That's it. It was really scary, like hard. Anyway, so that happened and luckily I had been starting my online business at the time and I was like, okay, I had some success, I had made a little bit of money, enough to know like this was actually a real thing. And so I transitioned my focus to business. I started running, I started sprinting and like, I mean, I've been doing this now 20, man, 20-something, 22 years, something like that. So a lot of you guys come to my world and you're like, oh, I see Russell, he's sprinting really fast, he's doing these things, he's building ClickFunnels, he's launching this book, he's doing stuff and people are always like, How do you have so much energy? How do you do these things? People don't understand, it's like, I've been doing this for a long time. In the 20+ years I've been doing this, I've seen so many gurus come and go and come and go. Like, there's a new wave every couple years. So all the people we see nowadays that are the big ones, like most of them don't have staying power. They'll be gone in, you know, eventually. Hopefully not, but you know, it just, I've been seeing these cycles and I've lasted 20-some-odd years. Like, how do you stay this long, right? The beginning, it was like, I was really sprinting. I was trying to figure this out. Like I was, I needed to figure it out. I was going hard, I was launching new products every day, I was doing all sorts of stuff, you know. I started having some success, started making some more money, then launched the next thing, the next thing. I started building a company, started hiring employees, and started building and growing and growing. And 4 or 5 years into this, after college, I built a company of almost 100 employees with people on phones doing sales, people driving traffic online, like all the things. And then overnight, the whole thing collapsed. I had to let go like, I don't know, 90-some-odd people in a day. It was just like, hey everybody, this has been fun, but it's over. And had sent everybody home, which was Oh, so hard. Like, I had friends, I had family members, people who I thought were part of this mission that I was trying to create that just walked out on me. I had people— anyway, it was a brutal time. And I remember that whole thing ending, and then we shrink down to this little tiny building with a few of us left over. And I was like, I'll never hire an employee again. I swore I never would. We start figuring things out, try to start building, try to figure things out, right? And over time, We get out of debt, we get back to stable ground, and then I meet Todd Dickerson. We work together a couple years launching different funnels and webinars and some things online. Eventually we had the idea for ClickFunnels. Boom, we build ClickFunnels and it takes off. And it takes off in about 2 years, and it taking off, like, I mean, I've had a lot of successes. This is the first one where I was just like, this is crazy. We're making money like we've never dreamt of before, right? We're helping people like crazy. It was just like, it was such a cool, man, it was a cool thing. So about 2 years into the business, when we decided, my wife and I, we lived in a nice house, but like, Well, he's like, "Let's get the dream house, the house we're going to live in forever, the one I want to die in." Right? And so, we started the journey trying to find the house. And after a little while, we found this house. This is an external garage. But when we found this house, a couple of things we know. Number 1 is like, it's on 5 acres. There's a whole bunch of mature trees that wrap the whole yard. So, like, it would take 20 years to get trees like this, right? And then there's, you know, anyway, if you see my house, it's pretty cool. The yard's insane. And then there was this room right here, which was this external garage. And I saw this, I was like, this is my wrestling room. This is my wrestling room. This is where I'm gonna like, this is it. And so before we bought the house, I literally snuck in one night. I probably shouldn't say this, but I snuck in to measure out the room so I could figure out how big I needed to get wrestling mats. If you look on the other side over here, I've got full weight room, whole bunch of other cool stuff. And so anyway, so I get the whole thing lined up and then Rob Cicadas, who's one of my favorite designers of all time, I was like, hey, do you want to come paint the walls? And so like, if you see all these murals and stuff on the walls, this is all that Rob— Rob— and initially Rob was going to do just this wall right here. And then when he got here, we started having fun and he ended up doing the entire thing. It's amazing. Sorry, but I want to tell you, is like I was planning everything and then the second we closed on the house, the next day Rob showed up to start painting and then the mats showed up like a week later. And then the weightlifting— like everything's coordinated to the T. And my wife's like, Where are all these people coming? Like, you know, you didn't help me move in the house. You didn't plan anything in the house. Like, I was like, well, this is my, this is my man cave. This is my dream. This is like what I wanted was this wrestling room. So I remember we get it, we start putting it all together, getting things set up, getting the painting down, getting the mats down, getting the weight equipment in. Everything was happening. And then, you know, as things were showing up, we were working out, doing little workouts and stuff. And then we finally get it all done. And I'm like, I have my own wrestling room. Like, this is insane. I can wrestle whenever I want, right? Like, so like, But I don't have anyone to wrestle with. Like, who am I gonna wrestle with? Like, I can't so match up with my kids, of course, and stuff like that, and friends. And then one day I called my friend BJ Wright, who he wrestled in Nebraska, a really good wrestler. And I was like, "Dude, the wrestling room's done. Come on over." So he came over. We go and lace up our shoes and we come in here and we wrestled. And we take, like, take for granted, like, I have not worked out like wrestling shape for a decade and a half, right? Like, I'm out of shape. We come out here and we just beat on each other. We're wrestling. And like having so much fun for about an hour, just going as hard as we can. And then finally lay there and we're just dead on the mat, just like no breath, no energy, nothing. We're just laying here on the mats. And I had the weirdest feeling. It was this feeling of just like, like the first time I'd been chasing something for like, I don't know, over a decade after my wrestling career. I was chasing something, I don't know what it was. And that moment I sat there with BJ and I said, dude, this is what I was like, this is what I was chasing. I didn't know it, but this feeling, to be able to come and be able to wrestle again, like that's all I actually wanted. I was trying to get this feeling through all these, through business, through making money, through all sorts of stuff where I just wanted to wrestle again. I could have gone to a high school wrestling room and just wrestled. I could have gone to a college and just, like I could have, I could have competed. I found out years later I could compete, which I do compete now. Like I just, I missed that. Everything I was doing was trying to get back to that feeling, get my hand raised, getting back to like the total exertion of your body and being tired and worn out, like all that stuff. Like that's what I, that was the thing I was chasing this whole time. And it's crazy 'cause like I thought like, what was my definite purpose? I thought my definite purpose was to build a company, to make money, to hit, you know, went to Comic-Con, you know, make a million a year, then $10 million a year, then $100 million a year. And I hit those things, but like that was not actually the real reason. Like when I look down, all said and done, like if I unwind and unravel the whole thing, the only thing I really wanted was to wrestle again. And I was chasing through so many different paths.

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I remember going to a Tony Robbins event, UPW actually, and we had this really interesting conversation where he was talking about the thing that we desire most, right? And so for me, it was like this relationship with my wife I wanted. And he's like, you know, he talks about if you've— I'm not going to talk about— I've done videos on this channel and the podcast before about the 6 human needs, right? But he's like, the need that I was chasing is love and connection. But instead of just going directly to my wife and getting love and connection, I was trying to get significance and trying to get certainty and trying to get all these other needs met, which I thought in my brain would cause more love and connection. If I'm more successful, if I have more certainty, if I have more like all these different things, then my wife will be more connected to me. And the opposite actually happened, actually split us up more and more. Like, you know, it made it harder. And then Tony's whole realization was like, if you just want love and connection, just go get that. Just go directly. Quit trying to get these other things to somehow make this need happen. Like, just go directly to the need. Go directly to love and connection. I felt the same thing here. It's like, and I had killed myself not knowing exactly what I really wanted until I got it. I was like, oh, this is all I really wanted. There were easier ways just to get that thing. So I'm telling you this for a couple reasons. Number one, well, if I'm completely honest, I'm publishing a lot more on my podcast and YouTube, and like, I wanted to make a cool video. Testing out some new equipment here. I got my Osmo DJI camera, got this new microphone. I just grabbed a light to be here and I was like, I want to film my restroom. It's a Sunday. I got some ribeyes cooking for my wife and I and our kids here in a minute. I was like, I'm just gonna go film something here. So I wanted to do that, but I wanted to tell the story in the restroom because the thought I kept having is like, for you, like when you hear me or Napoleon Hill or someone talk about definitive purpose, right? Like what is your definite purpose? So often the first thing we do is like, here's the thing, the financial goal or the I wanna win a state title. Or we pick a goal of achievement, right? Like, what's the thing I want to achieve? Which is good. I think, I still believe in that. I still think that it's like, it gives us, it gives life like color and excitement and like a journey we're going on. Like, I love achievement. But what's interesting is like, rarely is the achievement the thing that makes you happy. Like, the thing that makes you happy is different. And if you read Expert Secrets, I talk about this. Like when we tell a story to our audience, try to get our audience to move, right? Typically what happens is we'll tell the audience like, here's what I wanted to do. I wanted to lose weight, to make money. We pick this journey of achievement we wanted, right? And that's where most people stop, by the way. If you look at the great persuaders and the great people who are good at building connection and rapport with an audience, they don't just talk about the achievement that they wanted. They do talk about that, 'cause they have to set that goal, 'cause it's also the thing consciously that the client or the person is thinking about as well. Like, oh, I also wanna make a million dollars. I also want to whatever, right? So they have the same journey of achievement that they want. But the best persuaders, the best storytellers, they don't just talk about what they want. They start figuring out the why. They figure out what is the inner journey that someone's actually going on, right? The journey of transformation. Like, what do they actually want? And so in the Expert Secrets book, I talk about this. I have you go through this question like, what do you want? Like, I wanna make a million dollars. Why? Well, because I wanna make a million dollars because I feel like then I'll feel like, you know, I succeeded. Cool, why do you want that? Right, we start going like levels of deep why. Why do you want that? Like, well, I wanna feel like I succeed 'cause right now I don't feel like I'm succeeding. I'm struggling in life, right? Like, everything I've tried has been a failure. And I feel like if I had that, then I'd be successful. Like, oh cool, why? Why do you think that would change anything? Well, you know, the reality is last week I came home and my wife was upset about blah, blah, blah, right? And I feel like if I had this, then she'd be proud of me. Well, why does that matter? Why does that matter? You keep going why, why, and you dig deep 7, 8, 9, 10 levels deep, and eventually is when the real reason why comes out. The real reason, which is, you know, whatever it might be. It could be like, I just wanna impress my dad. I want my wife to love me more. I want my kids to respect me. Like, that's the real reason, right? Like, if I went back to myself after I got done wrestling, I lose the Pac-10 tournament, I don't get to fulfill my dreams, and I'm running from that. I'm running from this pain, right? Trying to get away from this pain. I don't want this pain. I want it gone. I start running towards something, right? As I'm running down this journey, that's the questions I would ask myself. Like, why are you trying to start a business? Why are you trying to do these things? And there's a lot of reasons. There's, I want to support my wife. I wanted to, I want to make money. I want to be, all those kinds of things. But like, why? What was the reason? And I think if I'm honest with myself, it's 'cause like, well, I miss this and I miss the pain knowing that I'm not gonna be able to do this again. Like that's causing me so much pain. It's forcing me. Me to run forward. It's forcing me to run away. I'm running away from something. And that's like where it starts, at least for me, when it's like, wow, that's the thing. Like, how— like, what if I just went directly and said, like, I just miss wrestling? Okay, cool, let's figure out a time where once a week you're going to go into a high school room wrestle, you're going to go wrestle in college with college kids, you're gonna try to figure out something like that. I'd probably get taken so much pressure off my back, right? Because I'm trying to— I'm trying to get to this, this need of, like, I just wanted to, like, like all the emotions that come with wrestling for me. I wanted to get back to that as quick as I could, right? As opposed to just going directly and doing that. I'm like, I'm gonna build this whole thing which will give me free time and then I can build a wrestling room and then I can, you know, all this stuff versus like I could have just went directly to the source. So think about that 'cause not that I don't think pursuing goals is great, but I think sometimes it drives us crazy, right? I know for me it's like I've burned myself out sometimes trying to achieve this goal. I know a big goal I'm achieving right now. I'm running off this goal right now and I realize As I'm recording this, I'm like, I'm building, I'm buying a movie theater, I'm building this whole event center, I'm doing these kind of things, I'm buying a library. Like, why? It's like, 'cause I wanna read more and write more. That's what I'm trying to do. But for some reason I'm going around about it in this huge, you know, Russell Brunson style. Like, I gotta go over the top thing. And maybe it's still the right thing. And I'm not saying to persuade you about not doing it, but being honest with yourself, like, why are you doing it? Like, I know what I'm doing, right? I'm doing mine. My goal that I'm pursuing right now is for multiple reasons. Number one is like, again, I wanna read more and I wanna write more. The problem is sometimes I'm making, you know, focusing on building the business to make the money to build the thing. Like, I don't have time to read or write, which is fascinating. Trying to figure out a way to secure my legacy. I wanna have something built so that when I die on this land, there's something there beyond me, but not just for myself, but for other people I love and respect and care for and their intellectual property and their ideas and their writings and their words. It's like, that's like the why. And sometimes you go about it backwards. Like maybe if I just spent more time, you say, reading and writing, I'd be happier. I wouldn't be so stressed. I wouldn't be running as fast as I am. I could spend more time enjoying everything along the journey, right? So yeah, and just having this conversation with myself and with you at the same time. So that's my first question for you. It's like figuring out like your definite purpose. Like what is the thing you actually want? But I wanna go deeper. I wanna figure out why you actually want that and see if we can just achieve, like get you fulfilled, get that goal met right now. There's probably an easy way we can fulfill that need. You can still chase the dream. Don't think that I'm advocating not doing that. I'm obsessed with chasing dreams and having big goals and visions. So I'm not against that. Do that. But what if we got your needs met at the beginning and not the end? What if you were already happy and fulfilled? What if you didn't have to stress about that kind of stuff? How would that change the journey for you? Would you have more fun? Would you enjoy the journey longer? So what is that? I want you to ask why multiple times, not just once. Like, why do you want to build a movie theater, right? Or why are you buying a movie theater? Why are you buying old books, Russell? For you, why are you trying to win a 2 Comma Club Award? Why are you trying to start a business? Why are you publishing? Why are you doing YouTube videos? Why are you, like, why, why, why? And get down to the purpose, like the real reason why. And for some of you guys, it's gonna be painful. You get deep, you're like, man, 'cause when I was a kid, my so-and-so was like, didn't believe in me. Or, you know, this didn't happen. I was listening to Marie Forleo yesterday on a podcast episode. It was fascinating. She talked about, she was at this business event and she was in an elevator and someone asked her what she's doing and she's like, oh, this is what I'm gonna do and why. And the guy was like, that's a dumb idea. That's never gonna work. And that was the thing. That pain is what pushed her into like, I'm gonna go and destroy this thing. And she built B-School and blew it up. But it was all on the backside of like, of that pain, right? And the why you do it, I wanna prove that guy wrong. And again, nothing wrong, but like saying like, who cares about that guy? You know, like when we get down to like the actual why, I think a lot of times subconsciously it's the thing that's driving us. But it's like, let's come down and like figure out what that is. Just so we're aware of it. I was not aware that I missed wrestling until I wrestled in this room. I built, you know, I made the fortune, did all this stuff, built like the crazy dream room, finally invited my friend over to wrestle. And I was like, oh my gosh, this whole time that's all I wanted. What if I just would've, I could've had that every day? You know? Whole time all I want is more love and connection with my wife. I'm trying to build a business to prove to her how significant I am so hopefully someday she'll love me more. Like what if I just went and spent more time with her? Better. And I can still build a business, but man, it changes the, the pressure of it, right? It changes the stress of it, right? Now, building a business, I could have built the whole business knowing that I just want to wrestle. Like, well, I'm just gonna go wrestle then. If you look at my journey, like, even I was 5 or 6 years in the business, and then because I missed this thing so much, I decided I was going to go to compete for Olympics. And I hired Olympic Greco coach. I hired and gave jobs to a whole bunch of the Olympic wrestling team. We flew out here to Boise. I built a wrestling— like, all these crazy things I was doing I just wanted to wrestle. I could have just gone and wrestled somewhere. Like, how much stress and anxiety and pain would I have avoided if I just would have gotten the thing I wanted up front and then still pursued the thing I want without the stress and the pressure of it? So there's the journey and the story for you personally. But I want to take it one more level deeper, if you're okay with that. You guys cool if we go a little deeper? You cool if I overdeliver? Okay, so then the last level I want to take this is, your audience.

Okay.

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When you get to storytelling, this is one of the pieces that so many people miss. I talk about it in the Expert Secrets book, but it's like you have to understand this for your audience. Like, you have to understand the achievement they want, but you also need to understand, like, what is the thing that they are secretly desiring? I say secretly because they don't even know. Subconsciously desiring the thing that they're chasing, right? Again, I talked about Expert Secrets. Let me tell a story. Like, I tell my story of achievement. But if I really wanna connect with somebody, build empathy and rapport with someone really quickly, I tell the achiever like, hey, I just wanted, I wanted, and this is, I've told the story before, like when I got started in this business, I just married my wife, fell in love with her, we got married, she was supporting me, I was wrestling, and she wanted to start a family. She's, my wife's 5 and a half years older than me, so she wanted to start a family quickly, and I couldn't, and it was like, oh, so I wanna start a business, right? So I used to tell people like, I wanna start a business online, so I wanna be an internet guy, and I wanna make a bunch of money. It's like, that was the journey of achievement that I would tell people, right? If I tell them that, and most people are like, "Oh yeah, me too." And you get some people, but if you wanna get people who follow you for life, it's coming back down and saying, "But if I'm honest with myself, the real reason why I wanted to start a business and make money, 'cause my wife, she's the coolest. She's 5 and a half years older than me. She's been supporting me. She's been working good, but she just wants a family. That's what she really wants. And I wanna figure out a way I can support her so she can be a mom. That would be the coolest thing. She could be a mom and then," She wouldn't have to work. She could like stay home, be a mom, raise the kids. Like do like her dream. Like her whole dream is like her life she wanted to be a mom. That's all she ever wanted. And she's been working. You know, she's 20 at this time. She was 27 years old. And all she wanted to be is mom. And I was like, "I want to give her that gift." I don't care about making money or business. But if I can like retire her so she can do that, we start our family, we can have kids. And then she can be the mom she wants to be. Like that's like— That was the thing that fired me up, right? That's the reason why I wanted to do it. So I tell someone that story. That's me going 5 levels deep on why, right? Why do I start a business? Make money. Why? So I can make my wife proud. Why? So I can da da da da. No, it's like, because in our private conversations, that's what she wanted. That's what she was hoping for and dreaming for and praying for. And I was like, man, I'm in a spot where I can make that happen for her. And how great would that be if I could do that for my wife, right? So I share that story. And what happens? Yeah, I bet me just telling this story right now, a lot of you guys are probably like, wow, I thought Russell was just this direct response marketer guy. It's like, no, he started this because he wanted to give his wife that, right? And then he built this 'cause he wanted to get back to wrestling. And like, I've had a chance the last 7 years to wrestle with my kids. Like, I haven't missed, you know, until the very end of my son's senior year, which is the whole video from the day though, I didn't miss a single practice. Every single practice in there with them, like spending time with them. Like, it was magical, right? It was the thing that I wanted. And so, yeah. So what do you actually want? What do you actually want? What do your customers actually want? If you can figure out the answer to that, I believe it's the shortcut to success, to true success. Because success is not achievement. That's where I kept making the mistake. I kept thinking like achievement equals success, right? And I remember Tony Robbins talking about, he said that there's a science of achievement, right? Because it's like there's science, scientific steps. Step 1, 2, 3, 4. He said, but there's an art of fulfillment. Art's harder 'cause it's not like a step-by-step number, right? Art is like what Rob Zecchini did in this thing. Like he's doing his art on all the walls. Like that's art. There's no science to that, right? The art is like you splashed up on the wall and it's beautiful, right? And so for achievers, a lot of times it's hard. Like how do we get fulfilled? Like the science of achievement, art of fulfillment. Like I achieve like crazy. I'm like, why am I not fulfilled? And it's like, 'cause we don't understand. Like our brain's like, what are the steps to fulfillment? It's like, there's not steps. You have to go and create and do and experience, right? But I achieved at this high level. It's like, yeah, exactly. You're missing the point. All of us achievers struggle with this. It's so frustrating for me. I'm the worst of us all, right? And I see this all the time. There's a guy here in Boise, Idaho, became an Olympic champ. In my mind, you know, if you're not an athlete, you probably don't care about Olympics, but especially as a wrestler, like in my mind, there's nothing better that you can achieve on this planet than Olympic gold medal. Like it's, you know, it's the biggest thing in the world. And we have an athlete here in Boise, Idaho who won an Olympic medal at the Winter Olympics. And then within a year committed suicide. It was just like, oh. And I remember Tony saying something that, as an Achiever, is really hard for me to hear. He said, success without fulfillment is ultimate failure. Oh, that one hurt me. I'll say it again. Success without fulfillment is ultimate failure. How many of my Achievers in the room just heard that and like, oh, that's not that doesn't feel good at all, right? Like, we love achieving, we love chasing the dream. Like, we're trying to accomplish this thing and we're chasing it and we're working towards it, thinking that at the end of the rainbow, then we'll get our reward and then we'll feel fulfilled, but they're disconnected. So I'm working on a new definition of this word where success equals achievement plus fulfillment, these two things together. Achievement does not create fulfillment. Those are separate. That's what we have to understand. So the question is like, okay, as I'm trying to achieve this thing, where's fulfillment? 'Cause it's probably there. Where I can get deep to my why and like, this is the thing you're actually looking for. I get that, get the fulfillment. That's the paint on the walls as you're achieving the thing. Like, you don't have to wait for both. You can literally get them both at the same time. I could have experienced for a decade, decade and a half almost, I could have experienced what I was trying to get in this room right here anytime I wanted just by literally going to the high school and wrestling with some kids. That was it. But instead I was chasing it through this achievement so I could afford this thing so someday I could build this amazing thing. Then I could like, feel fulfilled, feel the happiness I wanted, versus like just going straight line there. So I'm going to challenge you guys to think about that. Go deep on your own why to figure out like, what is— like, where could you just get your fulfillment and happiness direct? It's there somewhere. Like, we think about what you're trying to achieve. Why, why, why? At least 7 times. Why, why, why? Till you get down to the, to the root of it. And it's like, is there a way I can get that right now? Instead of me trying to get significance by doing these things, is there a way I can go directly to my wife and just spend more time with her and get the fulfillment and the love and connection I'm searching for so hard? I don't know. That's a good question, huh? And then for your audience too, as you're taking them on a journey, like, you know, any product we're trying to create is trying to get someone a result, which is achievement, right? Get them to achieve something. But what if through that achievement you could give them fulfillment and happiness earlier? You could break down and figure out their why so you could and speak to them directly and figure that out and say, man, these people are just looking for connection. What if we do these events which bring people to have more connection, more happiness, like more, what is the thing we can create that gets them their why? And again, as you start sharing those things more with your audience, the more likely they are to connect with you and be closer to you. So anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I just wanted to kind of share these things with you today. As I was, you know, cleaning the restroom this weekend, I was just remembering that experience and like how interesting it was to me. And I wish that I wouldn't have waited for 15 years to experience this. And now it's crazy 'cause now my kids have wrestled, they graduated, they're done. It's like, oh, like this, it's not over, but like, it's not the same. I'm not gonna have a kid that I'm competing with. My younger son doesn't love wrestling, so I don't have a kid I'm gonna be competing in here with me. I'll still have myself, my friends, my buddies will come over. I'm hoping that I'll continue to bring kids here that I want to train and learn and stuff like that. But it's different already, right? And if I would've waited even longer, it would've been even longer out there, right? Like, you gotta go and do the things now. Carpe diem, seize the day. Yeah, one of my favorite movies, Dead Poets Society. I don't know if I love the whole movie. In fact, I don't remember the whole movie, but I do remember that one scene which is so powerful with Robin Williams. And he's got his class there and he's showing them, the student body class, of years in the past, right? And there are these pictures in black and white. He doesn't even look, like, look at the picture, look close in there. You see everybody's eyes, look at those people. He's like, look at their eyes full of ambition, excitement, like what they wanna do and create and how they wanna change the world. And he's like, they're all, we call it, they're worm food, they're dead, they're gone, right? He said, but their voices are calling from the dust. He said, lean in, you can hear 'em, lean in. He goes, carpe diem, carpe diem, seize the day. That's what they're crying from the dust for you, is to seize the day. Same thing for you. Quit putting off the thing you want the most. Quit putting that off. Just go directly to it. And again, this is a message for me more so than you, I'm sure. Just makes me think about like, what is the things I want the most? Like, can I just go for them right now? Because life is short. I don't know. I always thought I was immortal until one of my closest friends ever passed away. And now it's like, wow. There's this ticking clock and we have no idea when it's gonna be done. And what a tragedy if we're chasing something our whole life and we never reach it before the end. Like, what if there was a way we could just like have our cake and eat it too? Get what we want while achieving the things we desire. Like, anyway, so this video is open for discussion. I don't know the answers to all these questions yet. In fact, that's why I'm writing this next book, 'cause I'm going deep trying to figure these things out for myself. And I figure if I can solve these questions for myself, Hopefully I can solve them for other people as well. So if you have ideas, please in the comments down below, let me know, drop them down. I read the comments on YouTube all the time. They're really fun. If you're listening on the podcast, jump over to YouTube, find this video and comment down below as well so I can hear it. I would appreciate that a ton. And I guess the biggest question I wanna leave you guys with today to end this video is what do you really want? If you can really answer that, that's gonna change everything for you. Figure that out for yourself, and then secondarily, for the people you've been called to serve. This could be your family. A lot of you guys have been called to serve your families. What do they actually want? You've been called to serve an audience, a group, you know? What do they want? I tell people all the time that my role in this whole thing, I always tell people like my role, my number one role is being the head cheerleader at ClickFunnels, like the belief cheerleader. If I can get you to believe this will work, it'll work for you, which I do, I still believe. But I think that my other thing is like my job is to gather gatherers. Like I'm gathering people to serve them. The people I gather are gatherers, and you guys are gathering your people and your tribes and your audience and stuff like that. And so as you were gathering your tribe and gathering audiences, think about this through that lens, because if you can help them to achieve the real reason why, not the big why that they all are willing to admit, not the journey of achievement, but the journey of transformation that they have deep in their heart they may not even consciously know of, if you can help them achieve that along the way, that'll change everything. So Hope you enjoyed this video. I hope you guys got something good from this. If you did, let me know in the comments down below what it is. And hopefully I'll see you guys, I don't know, let me know. Do you want me to film some more stuff in the wrestling room? If so, this is where the magic happens. This is my happy place. This is my man cave. Some dudes got man caves, a whole bunch of stuff. I've got a wrestling room with some weights, some treadmills, some bags, some mats, some pads. I love combat sports, love wrestling, love everything to do with that. In fact, my biggest regret in life is I have not done any kind of mixed martial arts style fight. So I'm thinking about it. Think I should do it? Yeah, thinking about it. I told Todd Brown today, I said the two things, the two biggest things I wanna do before I die that I haven't done yet. Number one is like an MMA fight and number two is a bodybuilding competition. So anyway, maybe we'll queue those up here in the near future. I don't know, I haven't decided yet. I'm not committed yet. It sounds like a lot of fun though, just to know that I did it once. I just know though, like, I still compete at wrestling and it's really fun to compete at wrestling. But the thing is, like, I didn't realize that they film all those. You can find 'em online. A bunch of you guys found 'em online, started posting. I was like, wow, I am outta shape wrestling with love handles and pasty white skin. Like, I gotta get in shape before I go next time 'cause people find it. I just know that if I lose the MMA fight, you guys are gonna blow it up all over the internet. Like, look, Russell getting beat up, which I guess is kind of funny. So anyway, I'm not against it. I just, you know, you know, the anxiousness, the nerves. But let me know what you guys want to do. Go and do it. Go accomplish it. Go directly to the source of your happiness as you're achieving things. Don't wait for the achievement to happen to get the thing you think you want. Go and get it right now as you're working towards your achievement. If you do that, then you can have it all. You can have true success, which again, my definition of success is achievement plus fulfillment equals success. You got both those things together, that's where true happiness comes from. So thanks so much. Appreciate you all, and I'll see you guys on the next video.