This content was created by GHION.AI . This content was uploaded by GHION.AI . This is a YouTube talk titled "Repairing and Preventing Hurt - Andy Dunn (Bonobos)" (created 2023-11-08). The excerpt features Andy Dunn responding to a question about mending personal relationships after episodes of mental illness. He discusses handling guilt and shame, recommends an approach of apology + disclosure + invitation to talk (e.g., disclose a bipolar diagnosis without excusing behavior), and outlines practical prevention strategies: consistent medication adherence, regular psychiatry sessions, therapy, tracking and sharing sleep data (Fitbit screenshots) with family/clinicians, limiting workaholism, scheduled phone-free time, getting daily sunlight, and other self-care routines. He references others (e.g., Ravi) and his family but the passage is primarily Andy speaking and offering guidance.
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I'm curious to ask you, how would you navigate or mend personal relationships if you're suffering from mental health issues, for example, people that you might have hurt during your past, when you're having an episode, like, how do you overcome that sense of guilt and shame and moving forwards as well, how do you potentially get close and overcome the fear of hurting additional people? Yeah, those are such great questions. I think one important thing, and Ravi alluded to it, is it's never too late. It's never too late to send a quick email or a text message and say, hey, I just wanted to. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for some of the things that transpired between us. I've done some work on myself. I've learned some things about myself. I don't expect you to want to engage on it, but to the extent that you're interested in talking, I'd love to. And you might even give some headlines. Hey, I was recently diagnosed with bipolar one, and I wanted to share that with you, and I wanted to apologize for some things that happened. I'm not trying to blame my behavior on. On that, but I want to let you know I'm in touch with it. I want to take. I want to be accountable. And if you ever wanted to talk again about that, then, you know, I'd be delighted, too. And that can. That can. That'll typically melt someone's heart, right? An apology plus a disclosure plus an invitation to talk. And they may not want to talk right away, but you'll change the temperature in the water. In terms of fear of hurting people in the future, I. For me, it's been about, like, I got to be on top of my. You know what I mean? Like, taking medication every day to the milligram, Two sessions with my psychiatrist every week like clockwork. And you got to believe I don't want to. Some. Some weeks tracking my sleep with a Fitbit, sending a screenshot of the sleep report, I call it, to my mom, my sister, my wife, and my doctor every day. Because sleep and bipolar, sleep and mood for all of us actually is so correlated. And then recognizing that kind of. In Maslow's hierarchy of Andy's mental health, those are the three pillars. Therapy, medication, and sleep. And then saying, like, okay, let me go beyond now. How do I not engage in, you know, work ism, workaholism? How do I make space to spend 24 hours off my smartphone every week? Can I get 15 minutes of sunlight a day? Which is a great hack. I'm sorry. I can't do the cold showers. It's too cold. I just want a hot shower, guys. But trying to. Trying to take the same steps that we would with a physical ailment of doing. Doing the things and over time, developing the confidence and saying, like, you know what? I'm gonna. I'm gonna still cause interpersonal harm, but let it be for. No, let's let it not be because of this. Let it not be for the thing that we know that we're dealing with it. Let it be for the unknowns. The unknown unknowns rather than the known. The. Sa.
