Shirzad Chamine explains how the judge saboteur in your mind creates negative emotions and self-criticism that damage your personal and professional life. He shows how to recognize and confront this inner voice that undermines you.
Now, of these saboteurs, all of them, every single one of them, basically come into your life as you try to answer the following question. To survive and succeed, I should. Saboteurs come into your life and take hold in your brain and become neural pathways in your brain, in automatic reactions to things as you try to answer, to survive and succeed, I should. And every kid answers that question differently because every kid is wired differently, and every kid has different challenges. You end up answering that question in a way that develops the kind of saboteurs that you have, and we all end up having some of these saboteurs. There is one saboteur that's universal, and that's the judge. And many of you have known about one small element of the judge, which we call the inner critic. But the judge is really much bigger than just the inner critic. The judge is the one that's not only constantly beating the crap out of you to tell you what's wrong with you, you idiot, why aren't you getting better? And why did you make this mistake? It's also constantly finding fault with others. And so one of the key culprits of my entrepreneurial meltdown was that this character was running wild in my head with immunity, and that I believed every word that this character told me. So. So the judge, as things started going wrong in my company, everything that started going wrong, first of all, the judge would come, beat the crap out of me, what's wrong with you, you idiot? With all this training and all this promises, how can you make such stupid mistakes? And as it was beating the crap out of me, it also started finding what was wrong with you and what was wrong with you and what was wrong with this VP and what was wrong with my president, what was wrong with my board. It found everything that was wrong with everybody else. Why? Because both of those were about my emotional survival as a kid. As a kid, I had been told, look, if you want to be ambitious and achieve things, you got to be hard on yourself. You got to keep pushing yourself, pushing yourself. You got to keep telling yourself things that are wrong. You got to keep beating yourself up. That's a good thing to do. I had been told, my judge is a good thing for me, good for my survival. And once it beat the crap out of me, I'd also learned to judge everybody else, because, gee, it's really hard to be the only loser in the world, right? So. So my judge was saying, I'm a loser, but so are you. Everybody's an idiot. Everybody has flaws, and I'm flawed, so I'm going to survive. And what I didn't know is that this character was actually quite destructive. And the character that keeps making you feel bad about yourself is actually not good for you. The one that constantly beats you up for what's wrong with you and others is not good for you. It's actually his avatar is quite destructive. Now, you might be asking a very important question right now, which is, but aren't negative emotions actually good for you? Aren't negative emotions actually good for you? Isn't the judge helpful for you by pushing you and beating you up and all that? Isn't that good for your performance? And the answer to that. To answer that, let me answer a separate question first. Is pain ever good for you? Is it good to feel pain? The answer is, of course, if you put your hand on a hot stove. And if you don't feel pain, you're not going to react accordingly and you'll burn your hand to the bone, right? So feeling pain is really good for you. It is awesome to feel pain. The question is, how long would it be good for you to feel the pain before you remove your hand from the hot stove? And the answer, hopefully, is a split second. Just long enough to know that there is. There's a problem here, right? Same exact thing with negative emotions. Is it good to feel anger, shame, guilt, disappointment, all of this stuff when something is going wrong? The answer is, of course it is. If you didn't feel any of those negative emotions, you will keep doing the thing and not improve anything. The question is, how long is it good to feel bad after a failure? How long is it good to feel shame after something that you do that doesn't go well? How long is it to feel? Is it good to feel guilt? To feel stress over what's going to happen? The answer is a split second, long enough for you to pay attention and take corrective action. If you stay in negative emotion for more than a split second, you're hijacked by your saboteurs. It's going to mess with your performance. And that's true with all saboteurs. Anytime you're in negative emotion for more than a few seconds, you are hijacked by a part of your brain that's not serving you because your path to highest performance is through positive energy. So basically, then, strategy number two becomes making sure that you expose and weaken your judge saboteur by calling it bullshit. By basically saying actually beating the crap out of me for the fifth time over. The mistake I did yesterday is not very helpful, sir. It's not. I got the message. It's no longer serving. You are now sabotaging me.
O processo de reconhecer limites, mesmo quando a vida parece exigir sempre mais.
Depois de tantas histórias, aprendizados e pausas necessárias, o @interior_iza está de volta
