Getting Out of the F-State and Into Personal Power - Kevin Ward

Hey, winners. Kevin Award here. Okay. Have you ever just got absolutely. In a bad situation where you're just. Your brain is not doing what it's supposed to do. It's called the F state. Now, what the F state is, is whenever things don't go the way you want them to go, or you're facing something you don't like, and you freak out. So the F state is being freaked out. It's being frustrated. It may be fear, it may be frustrating, frantic. And it's one of the most unresourceful states that you can get into, because what it is, is it's an emotional condition. It's an emotional process in your brain that keeps your brain from functioning powerfully. That keeps you from functioning powerfully. In fact, when your brain goes into the F state, your body follows it. And so if you get afraid, your body. When you get terrified, when you get really frustrated or when you freak out, you can literally physically feel it in your body, right? I mean, your face may get hot, your neck may get hot, you may break into a cold sweat, your hands may get cold, you may literally shake whatever it is. When your mind goes into the F state, your body follows it. Now, what's the challenge about the F state? Well, being in the F state, it's not powerful for you. It's a disempowering state. So what do you do? Well, you got to get out of it. So I just get frustrated with. Well, if you get frustrated, give it back and get something else. Exchange that state for a better state, for a more powerful state, like determination or commitment or absolute passion. You got to change the F state for a powerful state, something that makes you more powerful. So what I want to do is just share with you real quickly three strategies or three steps for breaking out of the F state. Whenever you get in the F state, you get freaked out, you get frantic, you get fearful, or just frustrated. What can you do to get out of it? And I want to give you three strategies that will absolutely work. And the great thing is they work like that. They can work instantly if you're willing to take the action. Because here's what it's like. It's like changing. Well, instead of calling it the F state, we'll call it the F station. And it's like a radio frequency. If the radio frequency that you're listening to is not powerful, it may be staticy or it may be bad music or bad boring talk show or something that's absolutely driving you crazy, what do you do with your Radio. You change the station, you change the frequency to one that is powerful for you, one that is empowering or satisfying or gratifying or whatever it is that you actually can enjoy listening to. Why? Because it makes you feel better. Well, in this case, it makes you more powerful, it makes you more productive, it makes you feel more confident, more effective. Whatever the feeling is, you want, you want one that's empowering, not disempowering. So I want to give you real quickly the three strategies for just changing and getting out of the F state. The first one is simply making a decision to do it. And it's the goi. GOI stands for something real powerful. Get over it. Okay? You literally just have to make the decision. I'm going to get over it. I'm going to change the frequency, I'm going to change the station, I'm going to get out of the F state. I'm going to stop being frustrated. Somebody did something to me that irritated me or something is happening that I'm, I'm afraid to make this phone call. What do you got to do? Just get over it. Just boom, I'm over it. Make the choice not to live in the drama. Because a lot of times the F state is when we start living in our drama, we become the drama queen or the drama king and we just kind of enjoy our story. We enjoy that. Listen, how's that serving you? How is that going to help you move forward towards your goals? It's not. So what do you do? Get over it, GOI and it's one of my three favorite coaching words whenever somebody gets into one of those disempowering states is just to say, okay now, Agent Goi, what does that mean? GoI get over it. Get over it. When? Right now. Step number one. Number two. The second strategy. The second strategy is to focus on something very simple. Just focus on the next step, the next thing you've got to do. Now, I want to just kind of give you an example. Recently I had the opportunity to climb to the top of a 40 foot telephone pole and climb up onto a little platform at the top of the telephone pole and jump off. It's called the leap of faith. And it was absolutely terrifying. Yes, I was tethered. And yet you're climbing up with these little hooks and you're literally just climbing up on this telephone pole and then you got to climb up over this ledge and, and literally stand on this little platform and you're looking down and 30ft. When you're standing up 30ft up or 40ft up. That's like half a mile down. It's 30ft up, but it's half a mile down. It's terrifying. And even though you're tethered, your brain still wants to go into the F state freaked out, fearful, terrified. So how did I do that? Well, it was one simple technique they taught us, and that is don't focus on the height. Don't focus on the whole picture. Don't look around because you'll freak out. What do you do? Focus on just the next step. The next step up the ladder. The next step up the pole is just one step at a time. And if you just do that one thing, what happens is your focus is really honed in on just the next step. And you can always handle the next step. What that does is that keeps you from living in the anticipation of what could go wrong. You see, one of the things that the F state does is, is it always ask the question, what if. What if this goes wrong? What if this happens? What if that happens? I love what Mark Twain said. He said, I have faced thousands of problems in my life, most of which never happened, you see, but we face them. We face this what if thing, this F factor. The fear, the freaking out is, what if this goes wrong? Or what? Just focus on the next thing that you have to do. Because here's one of the amazing things about fear. When you're dealing with fear, you have to understand that fear is not based in reality. Fear is not real. Fear is the anticipation of something in the future that could happen. So it's an anticipation of pain or an anticipation of something happening or going wrong, rather than the reality of something happening wrong. So all I want to do is focus on this moment right now, right here. What is the next step I've got to do? What's the next thing that I need to take, the next thing I need to do to get me where I want to go, and just focus on the next step. The third strategy is to act now. Do it. Do something right now. You got to take action now. You see, here's what a lot of people think is, well, I'm afraid of this, or I'm frustrated. Just give me some time, okay? If I'm frantic, it's like, okay, okay, I'm getting ready. I'm getting ready. Here's the thing. What we're trying to do is get over our fear. And the reality is that people who move forward and seem to never be afraid of anything, it's not that they don't have it, it's that they act in spite of it. So the secret is learning to take action in spite of your fear. And the longer you wait, it doesn't make it easier. It's kind of like whenever you're getting ready to jump into a swimming pool of water and it's cold. There's two ways to do it. You can try to ease your way into it or just jump in. And when you just jump in, is it a moment of, you know, it's going to be a breathtaking moment. And yet the faster you do it, the faster it's done and you face the fear. You take action now and you realize as you do it, that creates momentum and the momentum, the action actually creates courage. You see, courage is not eliminating fear. Courage is taking action in spite of fear because it's the right thing to do. What happens with the F state is it stops us. The F state disempowers us. So the key is when you find yourself in the F state to do whatever it takes, whether it's just making a decision to get over it, whether it's just focusing on the next step I've got to have or just making a decision, I'm going to act now. That moves you fast out of the F state. The F state doesn't take you where you want to go. So when you find yourself in it, do whatever it takes. Take action now to get out of it so that you can move on with your life and win. Don't play with fear. Play to win.