HOW TO DEAL WITH A RUDE, NASTY SELLER - KEVIN WARD

Hi there, it's Kevin Ward with yes Masters Real Estate Success Training, helping you get more yeses and more successes in your business and in your life. And today I'm going to talk about how to deal with a rude, nasty, horrible, mean, no good, very bad seller. I got this comment or a question from One of my YouTube subscribers, says, could you please do a video on how to deal with a mean, nasty seller that texts you complaints, threats and gives you abuse all day? Now that's pretty dramatic, right? All day long they're giving me, texting me abuse and threats. I have never given a listing back. And this question is from Sherry P. On YouTube. So, Sherry, thank you for the question. It's an awesome question because look who hasn't dealt with a rude client? The question is, how do you deal with a rude client? Because there are good ways and there are bad ways to deal with it. So in this video, I want to lay out four steps, four strategies for how to deal with and how to relieve this tension, relieve the fighting, relieve the adversarial relationship between you and a client who is nasty, mean and rude. And so there are really four things that you have to pay attention to. Number one is you've got to decide what is your personal standard, which means what am I willing to put up with? Am I willing to work with somebody that is, let's just say, extra grace required type personality? They're somebody that requires a little grace that you know you're going to put up with some crap. Are you willing to work with people who are a little hard to work with or not? So that's one of the first decisions that really you need to make for your own business and yourself. Is I only. I mean, my approach is, the way I looked at it is I only want to dance with people that want to dance with me. However, when you've got a motivated seller and they need to move and they need your help and they know and you know that you can help them and you get the listing and they turn out to be mad or angry or rude or they got a chip on their shoulder or they never trust anything you say. I want to do the deal, I want to help them, and I want to get paid for all the work and all the hassle that I've gone through, right? So you've got to make a decision. How much of that am I willing to put up with? Now, the reality is most real estate agents are willing to put up with more than they probably should. I just want you to be clear about it because if you're clear about what you're willing to put up with, then you feel good about what you're doing. I don't like this guy. I don't like this lady. She's a pain. I whatever. But I feel good about what I'm doing in my decision to work with her. If it hits this certain point, then I'm just going to be. I'm going to be willing to cut my losses. But you've got to decide your standard of who you're going to work with and what you're willing to put up with. And so you decide on your own values, your own situation. Am I willing to put up with this, this and this? Have some self respect, right? Because what you'll find is that when you work with people that treat you great, you enjoy it more. And you can do more deals, you can do more transactions, you can spend one. You can spend so much time with one of those impossible to please clients that you could have found more clients that were easy to work with while you were trying to please this one impossible client because you didn't want to lose a deal or lose a commission. So decide on what is my standard? What am I willing to put up with? Now, in Sherry's case, she said, I've never given a listing back. Well, there may be a time you're going to need to give a listing back. And when you do, don't look at it and go like, oh, I fail. I broke my perfect record. Well, look, I don't know anybody that's ever done anything great that has a perfect record, right? Don't perfect record like, well, I've never given a listing back. Forget about that. It doesn't matter. What matters is, are you serving with great value? Are you enjoying what you're doing? Getting fulfillment and helping other people? That's what matters. And it's not going to work out perfect every time. So you've got to decide on your standard. Now, number two, you've got this client, they're texting you, they're mad, they're threatening you, they're giving you this kind of abuse. Here's the next step is you've got to ask yourself, why. Why am I getting this pushback? Why are they doing this? And the reason this question is important is because it may be that they're a jerk. It may be just them, right? I mean, critics criticize jerks, jerk. That's just what they do, right? If they're that way, they're going to be that way. But it also could be a reflection of sometimes people push back or they treat people a certain way to protect themselves because they're scared, because they're not feeling safe, they don't feel secure. So ask yourself, why are they pushing back? Is it because it's just the way they are and nothing I can do is going to change it, or is it just telling me, you know what I think they think that I'm working against them. I think they feel like they're having to be on my back and watching me because they think I'm just in it for myself. Does that make sense? And if it's a totally different thing, if they're just a jerk and that's the way they're going to be, then you have to manage their jerkiness. But if it's a lack of trust, if it's that they don't feel safe, I'm going to manage their distrust in a different way because I can actually address that. Which then leads to step number three. And that is whenever, once you figure out why are they, why are they acting this way, my next step is, I want to have a straight. I want to have a straightforward. I'm just going to call it a straight up talk. How about that? We're going to have a straight up talk. We're going to have a heart to heart talk. Look, there is very few things in the world more powerful in a relationship than a straightforward conversation. Now I know it's crazy that agents somehow want to avoid these straightforward conversations. It's like, well, yeah, but I'm afraid if I tell them that they're going to be, that this, they're going to react this way or whatever. And if you don't, they're already acting that way. So why not confront it in a gracious, professional, calm way and simply say, you know what, we need to have a conversation. I think we need to have a conversation. I think we need to, I want to just clear the air here. I don't want to muddy the waters. I just want to have a conversation and make sure or get us on the same page. Because right now I think the problem is that you think I'm working for me and I'm not working for you. And the whole time I'm working for you, that my job is to help you get the best result. I'm actually on your side. But I get the feeling that you think I'm trying to sneak something in on you. I'm trying to pull a fast one. So I just want to have a conversation about that and have a straightforward conversation. Now, have this conversation with them about why are they being that way. Okay, now let me just give you a couple of examples. One, they don't trust you. They've had a bad experience before. Now, I have a straightforward conversation. I bring it up and they go like, oh, I know. And you know what? I apologize. I had this bad past experience, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, ah, that makes sense. Well, let me just get a fresh start here. I'm not going to do that. That is not me. That was that person. I'm not that person. So can we just start fresh and know that I am going to do everything in my power to represent your best interest at every moment. Now, if you're in it just for yourself and you're trying to get just a commission check, they have a right to not trust you. So if you're watching this and you're one of those agents that's just in it for the money and you take advantage of people, then I would fire your butt so fast. But if you're like most great agents, if you're conscientious and you're caring and you care about the client and their best interest, then straightforward conversation is going to deal with it. Now, the second way, the second example was, and I've had multiple clients like this, but I had one client, I remember that he abused my assistant and he would call my office and he would just rail on Kristen. He would just go all over. And this happened twice. And the first time I didn't know what to do with it, and she was fine. I'm going like, well, that's just, you know, hopefully it won't happen again. Well, it happened again. So I had to ask myself, why is he being that way? And I had no idea he was mad because that probably the property wasn't selling as fast or whatever, and he was desperate and all that kind of stuff. So he calls again and gets onto her. Well, now I immediately call him back and I just said, Mr. Seller, I am sorry that you are upset. What's going on? Da, da, da, da. Okay, cool. So I talk to him. We have a straightforward conversation about the issue he's upset about. We deal with it. And then I say, so, Mr. Seller, I need to talk to you about one other thing. I do not pay my assistant enough for her to take being attacked by a client. And as much as I am on your side, I also protect my staff and my team. And if you're upset about something, I understand that. But I can't allow you, I won't allow you to yell at my client and swear at her because, at my assistant, because it's just not appropriate and I don't pay her enough for her to be abused by you. And we just. After I resolved the issue and then I had that straightforward conversation with him, I just basically let him know I was standing up to him in a way that was polite, it was professional. But look, this isn't appropriate and I'm going to stand up and confront it. A you need to have a straight up talk. You need to have a straightforward conversation. I'm going to tell you a little secret in life and that is that you probably need to have a lot of these in your life. You may, with your family, you may have a straight up conversation with your wife or your husband or with your parents or your kids, maybe your manager. There are some people in this world that if you haven't been, if you got, if you're holding on to something or they're holding onto something. The power of a straightforward conversation to clear the air, to, to relieve stress, to heal a relationship is unbelievably powerful. So straightforward conversations, are they easy? Nope. Are they tough? Can be very tough. Do they always work out great? Not always, but the alternative is, you know, it's not going to work out great. So have the straightforward conversation and then the fourth strategy. The fourth strategy, if you've done this, you've done this, you've done this and they're still going to be a jerk and they're still going to abuse you and, and you're just like, this is too much, right? And you're just at that point, then here's the next thing you need to do is you just need to say you're fired. Don't be afraid of that. Sometimes ending the relationship, ending the client agent relationship is the right thing to do. And I'm going to tell you, will you potentially lose a commission? Yes. But what you'll gain is one so much more joy and fulfillment in your work that you'll be able to go out and get more deals and you're going to gain self respect of that you had the courage and the strength to say, you know what, it's more than money. This is about how I'm treated and I don't need, I don't have to be treated this way and I don't have to take, I don't have to take this. And when you do that, the other benefit of this is, is you will feel this amazing sense of freedom and control over your business and your life. Now, the beauty of it is it's rarely going to come to this. It's not going to come to this most of the time, but when it needs to just get it done, just take care of it. And the main thing is don't let this seller, don't let this client consume your day. It's just you don't have time, you don't have time for it. And they don't deserve to be able to steal your day, to steal it, to stress you out all the time. You've got to be able to deal with it, let it go and keep moving on. If the only way to do that is to cut the ties, cut the ties. If you can deal with it with these strategies which most of the time you can then deal with it. And you'll find this is amazingly just one, asking why are they this way? It gives you a great sense of empathy in putting yourself in their shoes. And, and then two, having a straightforward conversation. You may find out something you didn't know and then there is nothing more powerful than a healed relationship. In fact, I've had sellers who started out they didn't trust me. They started out being trying to overbearing and trying to control everything and it was because they didn't trust. And once we had the straightforward conversation and I let them, I made it crystal clear and reassured them I am here for you. I'm representing your best interest. It's not me against you, it's you and me together. We, it's us against the world. Okay, I'm going to take your house and I'm going to represent you and I'm going to get it sold for top dollar and get you the best results possible. And once they came to terms with that, they turned into some of my most loyal clients ever. And you'll find that, that when you go through that tough journey of having the conversation, of clearing the air, it's beautiful. I the other side. So do this. Don't be afraid. You got the clock. Make it happen. Go out there. Play to win. Always expect yes. And remember that your responsibility is to be the best. Now if you like this video, give it a thumbs up. Make any comments or questions you have down below. Share this with other agents that you know because I guarantee you they deal with some of these people too. And I'll talk to you real soon.