How to Get more Yes's: The Power of a Pause - Kevin Ward @ YesMasters.com

Hey, winners, it's Kevin Ward here with yes Masters Real Estate Success Training, helping you get more yeses and more successes in your business and in your life. And today, I guess I'm very special for you. I want to talk to you about the power of a pause. And I hope you felt it because I just gave you the power of a pause. What's the power of a pause all about? Well, here's what it's about. When you're talking to people and especially when you're on the hot seat, when you're in a listing presentation, or when you're on the phone talking to a prospect, when the pressure's on and we get nervous, we tend to talk and we tend to talk faster. Now that's my tendency. Ever since I was young, I always talked really, really fast. I finally identified just recently, somebody said, why do you think you've always talked fast? I'm like, I don't know. They said, well, why do you think. Think about it. And it hit me because I was afraid if I didn't talk fast, I would lose their attention. I was afraid they would cut me off. I wanted to talk fast because I didn't want to give them a chance to cut me off. And so when we're having a conversation as real estate agents, when you're prospecting, when you're doing lead follow up, when you're in a listing presentation, one of our dangers is when we're, and especially when we're using scripts, is we tend to just, voom, shoot through the sentence. And when you do that, we don't just shoot through a sentence, we shoot through a whole paragraph or a whole conversation. So we just go right on through the script and we just read it off and read it off and read it, and it's just like line after line without making a pause. And a pause has something very powerful about it in its communication effect. In fact, if you want to make a real using a real estate script sound conversational, the fastest and best way to start sounding conversational is by using a pause. And here's the reason I want to share with you four reasons that a pause is powerful for you in using in any conversation, it's powerful not just when you're in real estate sales, it's powerful in any conversation. But one, the very first reason, and especially when you're using a script is because of what a pause does is a pause makes you sound conversational. And again, especially when you're using a script. When you're using a script and you Pause. It makes your conversation sound thoughtful. It makes it sound spontaneous. And I just used it. Did you notice I just threw in there a little pause? And the reason I threw it in there is because it's a very powerful effect. Now some people go like, well, that means you're just kind of faking it. You're. No, no, no, no. It's learning to communicate powerfully. See, when you use a strategy or a communication technique, one of the things you've got to release because I know some of you, there's some agents that they resist any kind of communication strategy, like neuro linguistic programming or, you know, you talk about putting a pause, that you're creating an artificial pause. Well, that's fake. No, it's not fake any more than you using English is fake. Because what's English? They're words that. It's just that there's something about a certain word that one word is different, communicates something different than another word, then they kind of mean the same thing. Okay, so that that person is a little pushy, or you could say that person is a jerk. Well, what's the difference? One word carries a little bit different connotation than the other word, but they both have the similar meaning. And yet is one word right and the other one wrong? No, it's that I want to learn how to communicate better. What this person is being like, he's not really being a jerk, but he's just being a little pushy. It's a different word for a different communication. Well, using a pause is a strategy to communicate something powerful to somebody. So get over this feeling of, well, I'm not going to use a strategy like that because it's manipulative. Look, when you learn how to communicate better with people in ways that create more confidence and cause them to want to work with you, it's not manipulation, it's respect. You're respecting them enough to actually use communication skills to help them make good decisions to work with you. Unless you feel like working with you is a bad idea, and then you should get out of real estate, go do something else. So understand that when I teach you, when you learn a communication strategy, a skill that helps you get more powerful in your ability to influence other people when your heart is right, that is a very respectful thing for you to do. And that is when you use a skill to help lead people to a good decision. That skill is showing them great respect. Because I care enough about helping you make good decisions that I'm willing to learn a skill that will get you A better result. So take, take the heat off yourself. If you're one of those that are like, yeah, but that sounds like, it sounds like you're manipulating. Look, we influence. And when your heart is right, it's influence, not negative self centered manipulation. Now if you're just in it for the commission and you only care about yourself, it doesn't matter whether you use great strategies and great skills or sorry skills. If you're in it for yourself and your motivation is only you and your self centered, centered and you don't care about them, it's wrong, period. Get out of real estate if you're not acting in the best interest of other people, you do not belong in this industry. And so I really believe we need to reset the industry on that. So what I'm teaching you here and really wasn't planning on this part of the conversation, but I think it's very, very important that you understand that you're learning to use skill in your communication is showing great respect to the people you're talking to. I mean, how would you like it if I was just boring in my conversations with you on these videos? No, because I teach the same exact content without skill. I could do this totally monotone. I could say, now you learn, you need to learn how to use a pause because a pause will make you more effective. It'll make you more conversational, make you sound better, make people listen to you better. And it's really, really important. And if you really want to sell more houses, you need to get better about making pauses. And you need to also learn how to not be boring when you talk. And if you don't learn how to do that, you need to get out of real estate because it's really not going to help you be any better. Now if I talk to you that way, you would check out so fast and you would be gone. My skill as a communicator, I bring it. And why is it important that I bring it? Because I want to help you get better in real estate. And I know that if I bring it with better skill, you're going to. The chances of you listening are more. The chances of you listening are higher. The chances of you learning something are higher. The chances of you retaining something are higher and you making a difference. And that that's very powerful and important for me. So I hope you understand that when I bring in energy and enthusiasm to these videos and I do a little fun or whatever, that that is manipulating you so that you'll keep listening so you can learn something so you can have more success. You can have a better life there. Now, how do you feel about me? Now? See, if you know and believe that I'm here for your interest and I really want to help you, then you respect and appreciate good skills. And one of those skills just happens to be the pause. Why? Because it makes it. I could be reading a total absolute script. In fact, I've got notes. You can see them. They're actually right here. I've actually got notes that I follow on this, and part of the time I'm actually reading them. But I pause. I make it sound spontaneous so that it sounds like I'm just talking to you. Why? Because I am talking to you. But what I have to say is so important, I don't want to forget the important stuff. So I write it down. And yet I use pauses. And I use different communication techniques to make it sound conversational. And when you do that, you're going to be better. You're going to get better results. People are going to like you more, they're going to listen to you better, and you're going to get more business. So making a statement sounds more thoughtful, and it sounds more natural when you think about it. So whenever you're following a script and that you ask them a question, they answer it. You know what? So you're moving to San Diego. Good for you. So what's taking you to San Diego? I just threw in a little pause. What's taking you to San Diego? Why? Because it sounds more conversational. It's very scripted, but not the way you deliver. It's all about the skill. So using a pause sounds more conversational. Now something else, and I don't even have. It's not even one of the four. But another thing is making a pause also allows you. So we're going to call this one. We're going to call this one A. This is going to be the bonus one. Here is it allows you to emphasize. It allows you to put. I left out an H there. It allows you to put emphasis. Okay, I'm a perfectionist. Let's just start over. It allows you to emphasize a word. If I want to. If I want a word to stand out, then what I can do is right before I say that word, I can pause. And that gives that word more weight. It gives it more power. So that's another strategy. That's another power of the pause. I didn't even have this in my notes. The second thing, or this is the third. But I'm going to call it number two. Is it's preparation. A pause allows you to prepare what you're going to say next. It's amazing. See, what happens is whenever somebody, whenever you ask them a question, they answer it. If you just race into the next question, one, it sounds like you're not listening to them. So it sounds like it's not conversational. It sounds like you're just interrogating them because you're asking, you know, so in the house, elsewhere you going next, San Diego, and how soon do you want to be there? And you just go question after question, and it sounds like you're not being thoughtful, you're not really listening, and you also don't have the time to really think about what you're going to say next. So when you learn the practice and learn the habit of pausing in the middle of a sentence and even before you speak that it's amazing how much your brain can process in 3/10 of a second, much less in a full second. When you pause, it gives your brain time to formulate your next sentence. It gives your brain time to formulate how to say the next thing you need to say. And a pause is very powerful, not only in the effect it has on them, but also the effect it has on you as you prepare. As it gives you time to prepare what you're going to say next. Now, here's the third thing, and this is cool. A pause creates something very powerful. It creates anticipation. Anticipation. It creates anticipation. Wait for it. So I'm going to suggest we list your house for $1.2 million. Now, just the pause creates anticipation. I want you to think about it for a second. Whenever you're talking and they expect what's going to come next, or they're wondering what's going to come next and you pause, it just increases their attention. And anticipation is. Raises interest. And when it raises interest, it also creates attraction. So anticipation creates attraction. And a pause is extremely powerful in creating anticipation. It's very, very powerful. It also, the anticipation is. It does this emphasis thing. It also emphasizes what comes next because now it's making them anticipate what you're going to say next. Now, there is a fourth really powerful part or fourth really powerful purpose of a pause, and that is absorption. Okay? It's like, what does absorption mean? When you say something and then you pause, it allows them to absorb what you just said so they can think about it. And then you say, so, are you with me? So I'm going to suggest we list your home for $1.2 million. Now, notice I did a kind of a staccato delivery of $1.2 million. Now, I paused a little bit between every part of the word. What does that do? That creates emphasis. It lets you know there's weight behind what I'm saying. And you can see why. That's the right price. Correct? Now I pause. Why do I pause? Because it allows what I just said to sink in. So whenever you're communicating in a listing presentation or you're talking to somebody, our fear is, oh, no, if we pause, they're going to lose interest. They're going to cut us off. It is very, very difficult for people to cut off a pause. And it's amazing when you pause that they feel this sense of incompletion, and so they can't cut you off. It's that whole concept of anticipation is they're like, so can I let you know something else? It's a great. I mean, whenever you talk to a seller or you're talking to a leader or prospect, and they say, for example, well, we're. Where were you when my house was on the market? I did a video on that recently. Where were you when my house was on the market? Well, that's a great question. And the short answer is simply because while your house was on the market, I didn't happen to have a buyer. The buyers that I was working with. Your house was not a match for any of the buyers that I was working with at the time. However, can I let you know something else? As soon as I say, can I? I made my statement, and then I paused and I said, however, can I. Can you what? Can I let you know something else? Well, yeah. What? See, even when somebody doesn't want to be talking to you, even when they're not happy, even when they're mad at you, when you pause, it just holds them. That anticipation is created. And once you make the statement and you pause, does that make sense? Are you with me? And then you pause. It lets what you just said sink in. So there are really two purposes for our meeting today. Number one is for me to share some very important information with you about what it's going to take to get your home sold for top dollar. Are you with me? Got it. I let it sink in before I go to number two. And number two is for us to decide today if the right thing for you is to partner with me in the sale of your home. Fair enough. And when you pause, it lets that sink in. It creates anticipation. It lets you think about what you're going to say next, and it all sounds more conversational. So when it all comes down to it, when we're communicating, if you'll stop the run on sentences, if you'll stop the not pausing, you'll be way, way, way, way more powerful. You'll get more opportunities, and it will give you a lot better reason to always be able to expect yes.