WHEN FRIENDS CHOOSE A DIFFERENT AGENT - KEVIN WARD

Oh, man, you just got jilted, didn't you? And it sucks. Hi there, it's Kevin Ward, the founder of yes Masters Real Estate Success Training, helping you get more yeses and more successes in your business, in your life. And years ago, when I was a little kid, there was a singer named Linda Ronstadt. Linda Ronstadt had a song that was a big hit called When Will I Be Loved. And I just thought of that song because I got a message from one of my coaching members that was down in the dumps and feeling a little blue because they had a family member that had said, we're going to use you when we buy a house. And they ended up using another agent. And I just. Immediately the song came into my head. I've been cheated, been mistreated when will I be loved? And that was a hit song, and I'm telling. I'm showing my age a little bit here. But that was a hit song and it was actually written by the Everly Brothers, and they were the first ones to produce it, I think, as a hit way back in, I don't know, the 50s or 60s or sometime back in the 1900s. And the song is just. I think this is so classic for the real estate agent who just got stabbed in the heart by the family member or the friend who used another agent and didn't choose you. And the song goes on to say, I've been put down, I've been pushed around, I've been made blue. I've been lied to. When will I be loved? When will I get chosen? And that happens. So the question is, it's going to happen, right? It's happened. If you've been in real estate long enough, you've done enough business, you talk to enough people, the moment the time is going to come, then you're somebody that, you know that somebody that you thought they liked you, you thought they were, you know, loyal to. You thought you were going to get their deal, their listing or their sale, and you didn't. And, man, does it hurt like crazy. How do you deal with it? What do you do when friends choose different agent? And so in this video, I'm going to talk about what do you do? I mean, like, not just how do you deal with. Just get over it. I mean, we'll say get over it, but how do you think about it? And then how do you behave in spite of it or because of it? So let's just talk about four things that I want you to do. Whenever a friend or a family member or somebody that you know, chooses somebody else. Okay? So here you go. Number one. Number one is you have to accept the fact that it is not their responsibility to use you. It's just not. It is not their responsibility to use you, okay? It is your responsibility to win the business from them, to win their loyalty, to win their heart. And when you don't, you can't get upset at them. It was not their responsibility. Well, it was a stupid. They made a bad decision. Okay, maybe. But we live in America. I live in America. Wherever you're watching this from, wherever you live, people have the right to make stupid decisions and to make wrong decisions. It just happens, okay? So number one is you got to accept it. You got to accept the fact that it's not their responsibility to choose you. It is your responsibility to win the business. And when you don't, you just got to deal with it. Okay, so let me go to number two and we'll answer that. And here it is. Number two, stop taking it personally. Take it as feedback. So when they do choose someone else, don't take it personally. They did not mean it personally. In other words, they were not reject. They were not saying, I don't like you, I want to hurt you. That's not what was happening most of the time. Certainly not. It's. So don't take it as a personal attack or as a personal affront. Take it as feedback. I didn't win their business. What do I need to do different or better in the future? What could I have done different? What can I do in the future different now? You go like, well, I don't know. I tried everything and I thought I had it and all that kind of stuff. Okay, good. So let's say that you look at it and go like, well, I think I did everything right. Okay, I told you. Maybe you may have done everything right, but the moment you make it their fault, you become helpless. Does that make sense? Whenever you make it their responsibility to choose you and it was their mistake and they were the ones who wronged you, then you're helpless. Now it's just you have an evil friend or an evil family member, and that's it. All you can do is get mad and get hurt and get sad and get depressed or whatever. But when you accept it as my responsibility to win their business, not their responsibility to give me the business, now I have control, and I can say I. Okay, wait a second. I thought I had that. I thought I had that listing. I thought I had that. Them as the buyer. What happened? What could I have done to change the game on this and you have to own the responsibility. And when you lose, you got to not take it personally and accept it as feedback. Alright, now let's. How do you deal with them? That's how you deal with, you know, how do you deal with them? Here's how you deal with them. You wish them the best. Be ready to catch them on a rebound. Now this is very, very, very, very important. I've had it happen to me and I've had it happen to my coaching members so many times and they'll come on a coaching call and they'll tell the story about what just happened is that whenever you lose the deal that you lose the listing or you lose the buyer, you say, ah, well, you know what, you've made the decision. I hope everything goes good for you. I wish you the best. If I can help, well, I, anything, let me know. Now here's what you can't let them do is you can't let them play both sides. They hire that agent and then they start coming to you and going like, well, they're telling me this. What do you say? Well, I say you should have hired me, but you didn't. You hired them. So go talk to them about it and work it out. I can't help you while you're working with them. So you got to be strong and you got to have clear lines of demarcation about what you can help them do and what you cannot help them do. But I'm not going to give you, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be your consultant. Your consultant. When you've hired somebody else and you committed to work with them, they should be your consultant. And if I should be your consultant, then fire them and come work with me. Okay? Now depending on the relationship, how much of that you can actually say to them, it would be dictated by that. If they've signed, they're in a, you know, committed, signed listing agreement or whatever. If they come to you, you can talk to them. If you can't go to them and solicit the business back pretty much no matter what, check with your broker. I'm not an attorney, I'm not your broker, but that's the way it works, okay? So I'm going to wish them the best, I'm going to still wish good on them and I'm going to just be ready to catch them on the rebound. Because here is the reality. A large percentage of the time things do not go the way expected it to go with that other agent and I talk about this in my training that we as an, as an industry, the real estate industry is full of amateurs. And so I know and think about it just 80 that, that 80% don't even make it past their second year. Most of the agents people run into are going to be out of business in the next two to five years. They're not great agents, they're just not. So I got to be ready because that, that agent may not come through for them. It's going to be tougher than they thought, it's not going to work out the way they thought and they're going to be regretting that they chose that agent instead of me. So what happens if you're gracious in the defeat, if you're gracious when they choose the other agent and you're still open and helpful, guess what's going to happen? They're going to come back to you over and over and over again. It'll happen so many times it'll blow your mind. Now you got to be good, you got to be competent so that they want to come to you that goes back to accept it as your responsibility to win them and you'd be worthy of their business. And, and once that happens, I'm just going to wait for the catch them on the rebound when the deal falls through, the listing doesn't sell, whatever it is, I'm going to be the one they come back to and go, absolutely, I'm happy to help. And then I'm going to forget, I'm going to let bygones be bygones and I'm going to build that relationship and win with them now. And I promise you, when somebody has left you and comes back, they'll be more loyal in the future. Alright? And then number four, no matter what happens, no matter how it goes or anything, keep building relationships. Keep building new relationship channels of business because you can't count on any one deal, you can't count on any one person's business so that if somebody breaks your heart and it's going to happen, they break your heart. You're not left in the dumps because you got more business. So keep building relationships. And I remember this, I actually remember learning this when I was in network marketing and multilevel marketing years ago. And that's what they always said. They said some will, some won't. So what, Somewhere someone's waiting that there's going to be people that are break your heart, there's going to be people that are going to say no. You're going to do everything right, say everything right. People that you know, people that you trust, you thought were your friends, their family members or whatever, you knew they were going to give you business and they're not. And you can, you can let it defeat you or you can let it inspire you. And the way I look at it, I looked at it this way as a real estate agent. I look at it this way today as a real estate coach. And that is I want to dance with people that want to dance with me. You just choose to say, I'm going to dance with people that want to dance with me. And if they don't want to dance with me and they want to dance with somebody else, okay, cool. It's not the end of the world. It's not the love of my life. It's just somebody that made a different choice and I'm going to respect their choice. Even if I disagree with it, even if it hurts me, even if it breaks my heart, my heart will heal. And I. And I'm going to keep loving. I'm going to keep serving. I'm going to keep building relationships. I'm going to keep finding people that I can help and keep focused on the ones I can help and not worry about the ones that got away. And if you will do that, you will win. You may still get jilted, but you will not get defeated. And you will win all the way around. So don't let it get you down, my friend. I felt hurts. The knife in the heart, it hurts. Pull it out and get over it. If you like this video, if it's been helpful for you, give it a thumbs up. Comment below. Share this with some other agents. You have agent friends that have been busted up by losing a deal or losing a client or losing a family member or whatever. Send this over to them. It'll help them. It'll encourage them. If you've not yet subscribed to my channel, if you're new here, make sure you subscribe to the channel for my next video. That will help you get more yeses in your business and and in your life.