Alastair Wallace says when accused of something at work, don't defend or argue. Instead, slow down and say: "I take that seriously. I don't agree with your version of events, but I do want to understand what has led you to say that." Then ask for specifics and listen. Listening isn't admitting guilt.
When you're falsely accused of something at work, most people's first instinct is usually the worst one. They want to interrupt and defend, explain, correct, maybe fire something back. It's human instinct, right? It's understandable. I've made this mistake more times than I care to mention. But if you react too quickly, the conversation temperature just gets hotter and angrier. Your job is to slow it down. And move it towards facts. Take a deep breath and say this. I take that seriously. I don't agree with your version of events, but I do want to understand what has led you to say that. Then ask for specifics. What happened? Uh, when was it? Who was there? Take some notes if it's appropriate. This works because listening is not admitting guilt. We're creating fairness, process, and the foundations for a skillful response. If you want the words for more of these awkward manager conversations, just like this, grab my free Say This First guide. I've put it with this post.
