Alastair Wallace shows how commands starting with "you must" or "you should" trigger defensiveness. Replace them with "I" statements like "I need you to" or "I would like to hear." Drop "never" and "always" from your vocabulary to lead with less conflict.
'You should be on time for client meetings.' 'You never ask any questions in your one-to-one.' 'You must always ensure all records are updated.' Who does that sound like? Your parents? Grumpy old teacher from school, maybe? How would you respond if I spoke to you like that? Starting a sentence with 'you must,' 'you should,' 'you ought to' is kind of judgmental. It's a negative pointed finger, isn't it? Never and always imply 0% or 100% of the time, which is rarely true, and people will find that one time that proves you wrong. A recipe for instant conflict. There's a really easy leadership hack to avoid that parent-teacher voice, which often makes people respond like children. Change the you to I. I need you to ensure the records are updated today. "I would like to hear your questions." "I propose we get together 5 minutes before the client meeting." And you can delete the words "never" and "always" from your vocabulary altogether. Using an "I" statement means you show confidence, clarity, and direction without creating hostility. It's also much more difficult for people to disagree or argue with an "I" because you're sharing your personal thoughts, feelings, and rationale. So, I suggest that you like, share, and follow for more 60-second leadership hacks just like this one. Thank you.
