On Self-Care and Solitude

Welcome to the Rich Life Reframe podcast. We've been given an amazing opportunity in entrepreneurship that's never been available in any other time period. We live in a reality where the number of lives we impact can be directly reflected by the dollars in our bank accounts. This podcast is all about living a truly rich life that goes beyond the.

Amount of income that we make.

It means living the good life and existing in a state of freedom, security and well being. In this podcast, we'll be going through quick reframes that can help you get your mind right so you can truly live the life that you've always dreamed of. That being said, let's hop into this episode.

Welcome back to the Rich Life Lab podcast. I'm recording this episode not from the pickup line like usual, but from a couch directly in front of three very large windows that are facing the lake inside of my new lake cabin that my family and I recently purchased a couple weeks ago. And I made the decision this week. At the time of this recording, the US is in the middle of figuring out election results. Tensions have been high in my house. We have opposing political views between my husband and myself. And you know, you get kids involved and they're asking a lot of questions and a lot of opinions are being shared, a lot of frustrations, a lot of feeling like I didn't have a voice or my opinion wasn't valid. Like I was being shot down all week and I just really needed a break. So I told my husband on I think Wednesday that I was going to. I didn't ask. I said I it would really benefit my mental health and my patience and my mothering skills, I guess to my nurturingness to go to the cabin by myself for an overnight so that I can nurture and give myself a little bit of time and spaciousness that I just haven't been feeling. And I mean, if I'm being honest, probably haven't been feeling since March when we got a phone call saying that kids were no longer going back to school and the world around us was shutting down. And in reflection, like it's, it's been a. An exhausting. Is it nine months now? Nine months of just the unknowns and I really haven't. I've been go, go, go. Like because my business functions online, I didn't really miss a beat, but there's still a heaviness of everything that's been going on and all of the social injustice and just like the weight of the world has felt a lot heavier than usual and I don't think I've given myself the space to process some of that because between working and then being home and being, you know, I love my children, but there's no space to even have a spare thought. It's constant, like, tapping and touching and mama. And mama, mama, Mama. I know if you have kids, you understand, like, how amazing it is to be loved that deeply, but also how draining it can be to just not ever have space for anything other than that. So I'm sitting here, fireplace is on. I've got my French press, coffee next to me. I have my laptop and a book by Mel Robbins in my journal. And, like, I am in my element, right? Like, I've got all of my favorite things. Been listening to acoustic guitar music since the sun was rising. And I was just thinking about how important it is to give yourself this kind of spaciousness if you're a parent, if you're a spouse, a partner. Like, just to have that ability to think your own thoughts and get creative and allow your mind to wander. And ultimately, when we are business owners, that's where some of our best ideas come from. That's when we can get into flow, is when we can actually hear our own thoughts. And when we're surrounded by constant dopamine hits from our cell phones and notifications and the latest updates and refreshing our screens and people talking to us and, you know, new podcasts to listen to, like, this one or, like, new videos or new. Like, we never. We don't allow ourselves to. To just have peace and to let ourselves think our own thoughts and realize our own values and our priorities and focus on the things that really light us up. So people often ask, after we're working together for some time or even if, you know, we're just meeting, like, how did you. How did you actually launch the things you wanted to launch? And how did you. What were your first steps to overcoming imposter syndrome or Shiny object syndrome? And I said I had to shut it all down. I unsubscribed from almost every email list I was on, and I felt badly doing it because some of them were my friends, and I let them know. I was like, hey, this is nothing personal. If you see my name come across, you're unsubscribed. It's just because I get too much email and I need to not get any emails. So I did that. And then I stopped listening to podcasts. I stopped watching YouTube videos or any videos. I turned off my newsfeed using an app called Newsfeed Eradicator. On my laptop. And then I uninstalled all my social media apps and I just got really clear on what I wanted to put out into the world. And when I shut down all the other voices, I could finally hear my own priorities. And that's when I realized, like, at the, at the core of everything I do and everything I teach, it's about visibility. Whether it's ads or funnels or digital products or live streams for that matter, it's always about showing up for yourself and owning your authenticity and getting your face on camera and being okay with being seen exactly as you are. So there's this. Despite the tactics and the marketing behind getting visible and what kind of strategies you can use to do that, there's always been an underlying concept of radical self love and deciding that you are worthy to launch and create all the things that you want. But I never would have had that level of clarity had I not given myself the space, spaciousness to do that. So I've been realizing over the last couple weeks that thing like the walls are closing in again a little bit on my own spaciousness. And that's why I told my husband, like, this is just something that I need to do. Frankly, as I'm sitting here, I wish it was two nights instead of one night because it's so beautiful and because it's a new cabin. I'm spending the day painting the walls and there's a lot of walls here that are large and blank and it's going to take me a long time, but I wish I had another night to just sit and by the fire and read a book and like. So I think this might be something that I do fairly often and just call it self care. Self care isn't always just like painting your nails or taking a bubble bath like you re. You need to figure out. And I hesitate to say you need to because I don't, I don't like to tell people what they need to do. Need is a bad word in my vocabulary, but it would benefit you a lot to find some kind of self care that really renews your soul instead of just gives you like, you know, 10, 15 minutes by yourself. So anyway, as I'm sitting here and I'm looking out the window at the lake and the reflection is like glass and, and it's warm and cozy and I've got my coffee and I realized that this is the moment that I've been journaling about for years. People ask all the time how I got the clarity to start the business that I started or how I knew what I wanted. And it largely came from journaling, as if I already had the life that I wanted to live in the future. Like, all of my dreams. What would my life look like if all of those dreams had already come true? And oftentimes the journal entry started with, I am sitting in my lake cabin drinking my coffee, or I'm in a kayak and I'm kayaking on the lake. And somehow there was always a cabin, and there. There was always a lake. I didn't visualize the exact cabin that we had now because I. I allowed for the universe to just make it happen as it would, but I put it out there that this is what it was going to look like, and there was at some point going to be a lake cabin in my future. And now I'm sitting here with my coffee, and I'm like, holy crap. Like, this is what I've been writing about for, gosh, probably four or five years. Every morning, visualizing. And sometimes it got repetitive. Sometimes it felt a little like, oh, this. I wrote the exact same thing yesterday. Like, this feels weird. This is boring. But I was consistent in that I would. Every time I would journal, I would write about the senses that I would have in the life that I wanted to live. Like, what it looked like, what it smelled like, what it. The warmth, you know, what I was looking at. I visualized it to that level, and I was able to create that clarity around what I wanted. So every step forward, I could realize, okay, is this taking me closer to that goal, or is this just a distraction? And once you have that level of clarity, it's a lot easier to figure out the steps. And honestly, it's easier to start saying no to things that don't align with that vision. And it could be a vision around how many hours a week you want to work or where you want to live, or, you know, if you want to homeschool, if you want to travel. Like, it could be any number of things, but you're not going to be able to start working in that direction until you at least realize what that direction is. And that was a huge aha moment for me, because so many of us, we don't even realize, or maybe it's that we don't admit what we want or we don't accept that it's possible, so we just push those dreams aside. I mean, it's like when we're little and adults are asking, what do you want to be when you grow up? And you're like, I want to be an astronaut or I want to be a NFL football player or an actress. And it's like, pat, Pat, that's nice, honey, let's talk. When you actually have a real idea, like an engineer or, you know, a secretary or, you know, like, whatever number of acceptable job titles we can say as children, like, our dreams get shut down so early that we forget how to have dreams or we don't allow ourselves to have these dream careers because we need to do what's safe or what's, you know, culturally acceptable to admit that we want for ourselves. And even now, when people think about or when they talk about what they want for their lives, they always kind of giggle afterwards and like, say, you know, don't laugh, but I actually want to be a world famous author or I actually want to do this thing. And it's kind of embarrassing. Like, why is it embarrassing that you want to have a really cool career or a really cool life? Like, we downplay so much that we're used to playing swell and we're used to not actually admitting or openly sharing what it is that we want for our lives, for our families, for our businesses. So that was a really big aha moment for me of actual acceptance and admittance and being able to say it out loud like, yes, I want all of these things for my life. And I am working towards that every single day in tiny baby steps. And it's not. It's not where I. I'm not where I started, I'm not where I want to be yet either. But I'm every single day taking steps towards what I want or what my bigger vision is for my life and for my business. So hopefully that gives you some insight into how to dream bigger and how to create the life that you want to have for yourself and how to visualize it so you actually know what that is and what things light your soul up. And I'm going to go finish my coffee and write in my journal and maybe read a book in the complete silence that is my lake cabin where no one presently is asking me for something and I'm just going to go soak it all up. So I hope you have a great rest of your day and I love all of you and I will talk to you soon.

This has been another episode of the.

Rich Life Lab podcast and I just wanted to remind you about the contest that we hold every single month where when you leave a review and then you send me a screenshot when you of your review, we pick the best review from the previous month of reviews and we actually give them access to my tiny Offer Lab program or maybe one of my other programs if I have something else going on that's really cool at that time. So please make sure that you subscribe to this podcast so that you don't miss any episodes and please, please, please, if you like it, if you get something out of it or if I've helped you some other time with something in the past, leave a review, screenshot it, send it to me on Instagram or email it to supportliebjk.com and you will be entered to win a spot in one of my programs and we will judge every single month. We'll pick the best review that we can find and we will actually give them access to a program for free. So it's a really great opportunity to get in and do some really cool things for your business. So thanks so much for being here and I'll see you on the next episode.