Add a Whole Extra Month to Your Year with These Time-Saving Hacks

Today on ally and you'd I'm going to teach you how to let go of all the stuff that you hate doing.

All right.

Do you ever have things like that in your day? How much time are you spending on those things? It's time to let them go. Today on Ally and you'd welcome to Ally and you, the Business Success and Lifestyle Show. I am Alison Maslin. My friends call me Ally. And sometimes I have some really inspiring guests on here that share their road to success. Today you just got me.

Ok.

But we're going to have fun together. So. So, because I'm about to free up your life and give you an extra month every year. Would you like that? An extra month every year. Oh, my gosh. So I'm going to talk about a little something in my book, Blast Off. So if you haven't read this book, it's Blast off the surefire success plan to launch your dreams in two reality. I mean, I wrote this in 2010, and I cannot tell you how many letters I've received over the years on people telling me that this book changed their life. And it just makes me so happy because I put my heart and soul into this book. And so I'm actually going to talk about something that I wrote about because it was relevant then, it's relevant now, it's going to be relevant to years to come. And one of the things that I hear all the time from business owners, from people in the corporate world is I don't have enough time. If I could just have an extra day in the week, I could get my stuff done and have some time to relax.

Right?

Or I would have time to go after those dreams and things that I want to accomplish. And when I really drill it down and I look at how this person's spending their time and finding, first of all, there's a lot of things that in business that you could be delegating and having other people do for you, but there's also a lot of things that you have obligated yourself to because you feel guilty, you feel like people will be mad at you. And if you don't do it, then there's going to be all these grand repercussions. So basically when you say that and when you're living your life that way, it means that you're living your life on other people's terms, terms you're dependent on what they want.

Okay?

So that's basically being a prisoner in your own life. And I know that sounds really extreme, but it's the truth. And so I want to talk about that today. I want to talk about how to get clear on if something is a right fit for you in your life. And this could be in any area of your life. Your health, wealth, relationship, your business, your finances, your whatever it is you're doing. I'm going to give you an exercise on how to get clarity on that. I'm going to help you to understand why you need to let that go.

Okay?

Because it's important for you to understand that because we hold on to these things that just drain us and make us physically ill. So I'm going to talk about that and then I'm going to teach you a four step process to just let this stuff go, get rid of it.

All right?

So as I said, a month extra in your life. So let me tell you what I mean by that. I bet if you looked at your day that there are a couple of hours that you're doing things that are not really moving you forward in your life. So, so whether that's getting into the rabbit hole on social media and not staying focused on what you want to do, of course right now you're focused because you're watching this show. So that's great. Okay, you're learning something. But you can get down a rabbit hole with some article and then you get lost in the comments and then you start getting frustrated.

Right?

Have you been there on that? Or maybe you're watching a third football game. Really? Okay, you know, what is it? Or it's just too much television. And did you know that two hours a day, just two hours a day of wasted time is. Let's see, I've written this down. This is in my book 672 hours a year. Holy cow, that's a month. It's just about a month a year. I mean, now let's reframe it. What if you had those two hours a day and you were doing something like, oh, I don't know, writing a book that could completely change your life and all of the people that read that book's lives, maybe it's learning a language because you want to. You, maybe you learn Italian because you want to go to Italy, eat a bunch of pasta. Maybe you want to be meditating or you could go for a walk or do some physical activity and get healthier. I mean, there's so much that you could do with that time. But unless we're intentional about it, then it just. We squander it away. And the time is the most valuable thing we have. I mean, money can come and go. Time cannot. Like that last couple minutes when I was talking, that's gone completely. I can't pull it back. I have the memory of it, but it's gone. So every second, every minute of every day should be intentional. What you want to create, of course, you want to be open to surprises and experience coming in. But if you're just lost in a fog and just at the whim of life, then that's where time can fizzle away. So I want you to think about what are the things that you do during the day that either you get completely lost and all of a sudden you look up and you realize a couple hours has gone away, or even 30 minutes of wasted time when you know you have stuff to do, or what are some things, some activities that you do that you don't want to do that you say yes to that. Let's be honest, you're miserable there. Or, you know, let's say somebody invited you somewhere and you just. You. It's not something where you want to go. And you. You said yes because you feel guilty. And. And so you're. You're dreading it all week long because, you know, you have all these other things that you have set commitments on that you want to do that lift you up, right? So if you're doing things out of guilt, like if I invited you to a party and you didn't want to come and you showed up, I would not want you to be there, right? Who wants somebody to do something for them just out of obligation or guilt? Now, some people are, you know, guilt evokers. You know, we all have those people that have been in our lives, and that's their agenda. And you can fall for that if you choose to, but you don't have to. The other piece of this, and it goes much deeper, actually, when you really think about it. When we're children, when we're little, what we want. What do we want? We want love. We want to be accepted. That's what we want as children. And so when our parents expect things of us, right, Like I have of my child, which is respect, and there's discipline and all of those things, which is great. But in some cases, if we don't allow our children to speak up and speak their truth on how they really feel, then that gets suppressed. And if they speak up or if you spoke up and someone said, hey, you know, that's really stupid idea, or you're really bad for thinking that or saying that, the message that you got was that saying, no, or speaking your truth or sharing how you really feel is a bad thing. And so you go through life just saying yes and saying yes and being a doormat and never really setting boundaries. Now, I'm going to the extreme, so you may not be this way, but maybe there's pieces of it and you. You're not going to die from that.

Okay?

But if you're going to take your life back, if you're going to take ownership of your life and you're going to be intentional with where you're going in your life, right, Then you have to be willing to rock the boat and let it go.

Okay?

Now, for those of you that are peacemakers, that's like, oh, my gosh, I can't do that. Right? I have to do that now. There's some things in your life that we have to do that are unpleasant. I understand that.

Right.

I mean, I went through the teenage years with my daughter. Let me just say it wasn't a party, okay?

Like, right.

It was tough, but it was. I wanted to do that. I wanted to be a good parent for her. You see, my father, when he was ill and he went through his. His last several months of his life, which was so painful, it was really difficult seeing him that way. It was so emotional for me, and it was very hard to do that. But I did it because I wanted to be there during that time for him and for myself.

Right?

This is not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is living your life on other people's terms, whether it's in your relationship, whether it's in your business partnership, you know, whatever it is. Because if you keep saying yes to those circumstances, but inside you're saying no, basically you are completely incongruent. You're fighting against yourself. That's energetically that's what's happening, right? You're going yes. Inside, you're going no, and this is a yes, and then it's a no. And it's like this battle that's going on. And I honestly believe that this is probably in the top three things that make people depressed and make people sick. So some serious illness illnesses happen when people suppress their feelings, you know, anger, guilt, all of these things, because you're just trying to keep the peace, right? Well, where do you think those emotions are going to go? I mean, their energy is going to go somewhere, it's going to come out some way, and a physical way or emotional way, and just that sluggish, exhausted feeling that you can have when you carry this frustration and anger around, it's like pushing a boulder up the hill. But when you're able to let those things go and live life on your terms, it's so freeing because you're so excited about what you're doing in your life, right? So I mean there's many people out there are even in a full on career or relationship because you're afraid to stand up. Now don't go home and say Alison said I need to divorce you. That's not what I'm saying here. What I'm saying is that you need to speak your truth. And oftentimes just by doing that, things will start to shift and stop doing the things that you're doing out of obligation, when or guilt, you need to do it out of true choice. And many times we don't do that because we're afraid. We're afraid of the consequences. We're afraid that we can't find anything better. We're afraid that this is all there is. So basically you're making major changes in your life because of fear instead of true choice. So I have something in my book, blast off called the True Choice Meditation. And I forget what page it's on, but it is on page 59. You can get this book on my website at alisonmaslin.com or on Amazon. And I'm also going to give you today I'm going to give you a full cheat sheet on what to let go, how to let go, the steps to do it, and the link will be below. We have a library for where you can get all these incredible downloads from the Ali and you show whether it's from myself or my guests. So go ahead and grab that. And actually if you're listening to this on the podcast, I'll just tell you it's alisonmaslin.com library. Okay, so what you're going to do is first of all write down all the things that you really don't like to do. Or it could even be things where you're trying to make a decision. Is this something that you really want to do? Is this something that you feel like you should do? Is it something that you are trying to make a decision? Is this going to really move you forward in your life? Is this like a bad decision? So write those, list those things down. I mean it could be, it could be, you know, just basically an event that you are going to. Maybe it's a family event, maybe it's, you know, some just something that you've decided to attend, whatever that is, if it's you know, on the board of something that you volunteered for. A lot of times people volunteer for stuff because they don't know how to say no. Now I'm all for volunteering. I do a lot with charity. But again, it needs to be from True Choice. Something from your heart, something that you're really passionate about, that you want to do. Then you're totally in alignment with it. So make a list of those things. And then what I'm going to have you do is I'm going to have you close your eyes. This is called the True Choice meditation. And I want you to visualize yourself doing that activity. Like see yourself and in that, let's say a party or let's say it's a business project that you committed to do with somebody else and you're not sure it's the right decision or maybe it's buying a house. I mean, I don't know. It could be anything. So what you do is you visualize yourself. You close your eyes, you get quiet, get in a good space, get some nice music on, get some candles lit. I know it looks a little woo woo, but have to get yourself into the space. Then I want you to visualize yourself doing that activity. Whatever it is, just see yourself doing it. Feel your body there as if it's real. It's happening now. And I want you to pay attention to what's going on within your body because your head oftentimes will give you an analytical answer. So if you say to yourself, should I attend this or should I do this project? Sometimes it's hard to tell. Is that my gut or is that my head thinking of fear? So what I want you to do is listen to your body. What is your body telling you? Is it completely tensed up? When you think of this thing, do you feel like you're going to throw up? Is your back like throbbing? Because you know when you're thinking of doing this, guess what? That's not a good sign. That's a sign that it's probably not the right direction to go. Now you might feel anxious, you might feel a little bubbles or adrenaline. That's because you're nervous. That's different. That might be the exact big leap that you need to take, you know, and you might not want to do something because it's scary. That's different. When you're going to stretch yourself, you're going to take big leaps in your life, you know, you've got to face those fears.

Okay?

Or else I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I'VE taken many, many of those leaps, and trust me, I've had a lot of fear. This is different. What I'm talking about is, are you doing something because you really want to, or are you doing it because you really feel like you have to? And this is where. And once you're clear, and if you think it's because of something that you have to do, then I want you to look at what that have to is about. Where does that come from? And what's the fear? What are you afraid is going to happen if you don't do it? Or you just say no?

Okay.

And that leads me into my four steps about saying no. We were raised right to be good and go with the flow, but sometimes you just got to say no. And. And I always felt I had to have a big reason to say no or come up with an excuse. And I remember one time this woman asked me to do something, and I couldn't think of an excuse. It was just caught me off guard. And I said, you know, no, I just really don't want to do it. And I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth. And she's like, gosh, that's so great that you could say that. I have so much respect for you. And that was a huge turning point for me. Like, she was okay, and I was okay. And guess what? I was so relieved I didn't have to do this thing, right? How many times have you been somewhere doing something and you're just. You're miserable. You're like, I knew I shouldn't be here. So the first thing is to know that it's really okay to say no. And if you don't quite know what to say in the moment, then don't jump in and say yes. Say, you know what? Let me think about it. Let me just think about. I'm going to get back to you, but then get back to them, right? Don't flake. I'm going to get back to you, but then get back to them, right? Don't flake. But just know that it is really okay to say, you know what? It's not going to work for me right now. This isn't the right time. Thank you very much for asking, but I'm not going to be able to do that, right? And so however you need to say it, just be straight and be honest. And remember, there are people that might be upset. And you have to expect that when you're standing up for yourself, you are truly going to shake it up a little bit. But they will get over it. And over time, people will. You have to do it enough. Then people will start to respect you. They really will. They'll respect you more for standing up for what you believe in. So if you have trouble saying no, one of the things you can do is stand in the mirror. I know this sounds so goofy, but just stand in the mirror and go. And just practice saying, no, no, no, but thank you. No, I'm not going to be able to do it this time, but thank you so much for asking me. No, you know, I just. I can't do it right now, but thank you for asking me. No, no.

Okay.

It's two letters. And for some people, just getting it out of your mouth can, like. You know, it's like pulling teeth. So practice it so that it does just roll off your tongue when. When it's necessary. And know that you're going to. Once you walk away, you might have a pit in your stomach. You might feel really guilty. You might, like, want to call them up and say, well, you know, I could do it. Refrain from that. Stay strong. Stand in your resolve. Be courageous. Be bold. Own your life. Own your gifts. Own every minute of your life. And once you do that, you're going to feel a sense of relief and a sense of freedom like you have not felt before. Now, some of you might be thinking, gosh, Allison, that's so selfish of you to be thinking that way. Well, let me tell you, you are born with gifts. And if you don't take the time to focus on you, to share those gifts with the world, to me, that is selfish. If you don't take care of yourself first, how are you going to take care of every else?

Right?

So I want. I hope this empowers you to get clear on what those things are, that it's time to let go. I'm giving you permission. Free yourself and be yourself. Hey, that rhymes. Free yourself and be yourself. Like a Dr. Seuss book and reclaim your life. It's time.

Okay.

And then go make those amazing things happen in your life. And you know what will happen? All those people you said no to, they're going to be so inspired that they're going to hopefully do that for themselves, too.

All right.

I hope you've enjoyed this episode of Ally and you'd. You can also catch us on itunes at your leisure and watch this as a video podcast. All you need to do is go to alisonmaslin.com iTunes.

Okay?

We got lots of episodes there. And remember to get the cheat sheet on saying no. @allisonmousland.com library until next time, we're here live Wednesdays at 4:00 clock Pacific, 7:00 clock Eastern.

All right.

Bye, everybody.