Attract Money and Love With Your Thoughts (ARIELLE FORD)

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Welcome to Ali and you, the Business Success and lifestyle show. I am Alison Maslin. My friends call me Allie. I am a serial entrepreneur and I help business owners grow their business and create an extraordinary life. So let me ask you, how do you break through? How do you get to the next level in your business or your life if you don't see a clear path ahead? Well, what you do is you tune into this show, Allie, and you and we're going to give you the winning strategies, the answers you've been looking for, and we're going to do that today. This is a very special episode. I'm so excited to introduce to you to our special guest, but I'm going to ask you to just turn off all your distractions, stay focused with us for the next half hour or so and you're going to be so happy that you did. Our very special guest is my dear friend, Arielle Ford. And Arielle is such an amazing woman. She is the leading, a leading personality in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. For the past 25 years, she's been living, teaching, promoting consciousness through all types of medium. She is a relationship expert, speaking speaker, blogger for the Huffington Post and the producer and host of Evolving Wisdom's Art of Love series. She has authored nine and now just about 10 books, which is just incredible. Her latest book, which just came back, came out a few months ago, Love on the Other, Heavenly Help for Love and Life. We're going to talk about that today. She's written Wabi Sabi Love, the Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships. Right. We can all relate to that. And the International Best Secret, which was such a breakthrough. And I love this book. The Soulmate secret manifests the love of your life with the law of attraction. She's been called the cupid of consciousness, the fairy godmother of love. So let's all welcome Arielle Ford. Thank you for being here.

Happy to be here. It's good to see you again.

I know, I know. And you know, we did this interview a few years ago and lots of things have changed for you over that time. And you know, you, gosh, just about 10 books. You've got a prestigious history in prison and now your focus is love and relationships. So how did you, you know, where did your passion come in this back, what's the backstory with all that?

Well, you know, it wasn't predictable that I would become an expert on love given the childhood that I had and my parents horrible marriage and divorce. But what happened was 30 years ago I learned the art of manifestation and I became really, really good at it. And I woke up one morning at the age of 43 and I had this epiphany which was, oh my God, I forgot to get married. And I'm lying there in bed trying to wrap my head around this idea that I'm 43 and single. And when I started looking back at my life, I realized that I had used all of my manifestation power and art to work on my career and my business, which was hugely successful, but that I was alone. So I thought to myself, well, what if I took all the prayers and processes and rituals that built my business and applied them to my love life and I had absolutely no idea if it would work. But it did and it worked brilliantly. And. And I thought, okay, that's the end of the story. I manifested the SoulMate. We had three weddings, everything's peachy until about five years later, my sister asked me to give a little talk at one of her Cruises. She had 200 coaches on a cruise and she said, why don't you share with everybody how you manifested, Brian? So I gave this like one hour talk and at the end of it, 200 people rushed the stage, knocked me over and started screaming, we need the book, we need the book. So my personal story became a book and then the book ended up in 40 countries around the world. And then I got emails from literally tens of thousands of men and women of all ages saying it worked for them too.

And this was just something that just came out of you. It was like you didn't have to work hard at it at all.

No, no, I didn't have like this five year plan. Oh, I'm going to become a best selling author and an expert and the.

Fairy godmother of love.

None of that, it just happened. So the book came out and suddenly I'm getting requests to teach Omega and Kripalu and Esalen and all these different events. And then it became a career. So I didn't plan it and I'm still shocked that it happened. But now sort of in retrospect, they say you teach what you need to learn most.

Yes.

Well, that was certainly true for me because I went into this marriage, I was a first time bride at 44 and it was frightening because I was really good at being the boss. I had no idea how to be a partner, how to be a wife, how to have a great relationship. So I became a student of love. And that's what's happened over the years. And because I have A big mouth. And I'm not shy. I just keep sharing what I learned. So that's how I went from like business owner, entrepreneur, to love expert. Nobody's more surprised than me.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Well, I mean, and I know your husband, Brian, and he's such an amazing man. And I know the whole story. Of course, they can. Can learn more by, by reading your books of the story of how you met. Because it's just so beautiful. So talking about Law of Attraction, and you said this is really how you've been living your life. It's how I live. And I know it can get complicated when you're talking about quantum physics and all of that, but can you break it down for our viewers a little bit on how you incorporate this into your life?

It's actually very simple. So Law of Attraction 101 states that we draw to us the people, places and experiences that match our state of being. So if our state of being is, I'm loved, I'm lovable, life support, me, everything's great, chances are that's what your experience is going to be. But if you're having this thing like, oh, I'm so lonely, I'm unlovable, I miss the one that got away, I'm too old, I'm too fat, I'm too damaged, I'm never going to have love. You're going to get to be right. And so the Law of Attraction only works when you remember that you're an emotionally mature adult, that it's your job to manage your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and emotions, and that you have to understand that if you have your attention on what you don't have, on what's missing, the only possible result is for you to continue to have the feeling of something's missing.

Right.

So if you want to have what you say your desire is, you have to drop from your head, which is where all this nonsense is, drop into your heart, get yourself into a state of love, appreciation and gratitude, and thank God for all the goodness in your life. And that's where true manifestation happens. So the movie the Secret ruined it for most people because they're stuck in. You have to do affirmations and you have to visualize in your head, none of which works.

It's really the feeling.

It's the feeling. Yeah. So. So. And there's another piece to it. So just like the Law of Gravity is always working. Always. We don't see it, we don't think about it, but it's always working. The Law of Attraction is always Working. And it's up to you to make it work in your favor, which is why we have to manage our thoughts and our beliefs. Most people, and you're not going to want to hear this, most people are addicted to suffering. They're addicted to their story. I'm not good enough. I'm this. I'm too that.

Right. Never happens. Good for me. But everybody else, it's, you know, easy.

And they're stuck in this pity party.

Yes.

And the only one who can bail you out is you. But it requires something. It requires that you show up with intention and attention and purpose and having an accountability partner and having this strong desire to go from being in the pits to having a life like you and I have.

Right.

You know, we have great careers, we have great men, we have great friends. Did somebody hand it to us? No. I mean, I don't know your backstory, but I'm pretty certain there's a lot of pain and suffering that preceded the success. I had somebody email me one day. Oh, well, this is so easy for you to say because you have everything. Yes, I do. But you don't know the days when I was on the verge of bankruptcy. I was very sick, my boyfriend had dumped me, and I didn't know if my car was going to be repossessed. But those days existed multiple times.

Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I was on the floor in tears many, many, many times. But I also look at that. I'm grateful for those times. I have a whole different take on that, because number one is it made me resilient. I know from that experience I got through it and everything was okay. And it makes me more compassionate for other people. But I also learned what doesn't work. So why am I going to do that again? Right.

And you know, the book that I'm never going to write, I hope somebody writes it, is called the Best Worst Thing. Because what I've learned is the worst things that ever happened to me, the greatest, most horrible tragedies gave me my life, and I would not change them for a second. The most painful moments of my life. I am so grateful for today.

Oh, yeah. Because it's in that pain where we go inward, where we learn the most about ourselves and we make the biggest shifts. Right.

Nobody's gonna turn their life upside down if it's working. You're not gonna say, oh, it's just too good. Let's screw it up. So it's unfortunate, but that we learn through pain. So when you're in the middle of the pain and if you're in the middle of it right now, I know you're not going to believe a word of this. You know, all there is for you to do is ask yourself this question. What is the next baby step I have to take today? Do not try to figure out the big picture. You're not supposed to know the big picture. All you have to do is, how can I survive the next five minutes? What's the next baby step I could take? You know, Jack Canfield tells this great story of driving down a road in the middle of the night, and all you can see, even with the high beams on, is the 30 yards in front of you. But that's all you need to see. You don't need to see the whole road. You just need to make a little progress. And that's what people forget when they get stuck. They're just stuck in, oh, my God, life sucks. What am I going to do?

You know, it's interesting. I was in a fire when I was like 19 years old back in Oklahoma. I was the only one there. And I woke up as the walls were in flames. In that moment, I knew exactly what to do. I got everything together. I got out of the house, I got the cat, I called the fire department, I moved out. It was like your instinct. You knew what to do. And we lost the house, but I was out. It was totally miraculous that I had woken up. But what I learned from that was we get so overwhelmed by things that haven't even happened yet. We know that when you. Whatever's gonna happen, you're gonna figure out a way to deal with it in that moment. So why get overwhelmed with it now?

You know what I mean? The thing that I figured out two years ago that changed my whole life is that I realized that when I'm in a state of overwhelm, it's because I'm trying to figure everything out. So now I've trained myself. I only think about what it is I need to think about right now. So if I have a lot of deadlines and a lot of projects, it's like, well, what do I have to do today? Really? What has to be done today? And the speech I haven't written yet that's coming up in two weeks, well, I know I can get that done. I can think about that tomorrow or next week. And it's a discipline that I've created because otherwise it's like, oh my God, what am I going to do?

Yeah.

And it's just a form of self torture.

Yeah. And you've also got some confidence in yourself through experience that you know you will.

Well, that is the big benefit of aging. I mean, you know, you get to be. I'm 62 years old now. So the best thing about it is I've survived so much. There is nothing you could throw at me at this point that I haven't already survived. And having survived it once or five times, I know that nothing's going to drag me down now. When I was 27, I was scared of everything. I was in this constant state of panic. Oh, my God, what if I'm not good enough? What if they don't like this? What if this happens? And I was in a constant panic attack. Now it's almost impossible to shake me. Got it. I've been through that before.

This is a piece of cake.

Exactly.

So speaking of the law of attraction, how can you. Can you just give us some tips on how do you apply that in love? How do you apply that with money?

Well, you know, it's actually the same for all of it. So first you have to understand that, like my big issue growing up was I had poverty consciousness. I grew up in a home where every fight was about money. There was never enough money. So my greatest fear was I would grow up to be a bag lady. So this was my constant struggle. And what I had to realize was that the truth is, I have enough family and friends that nobody's going to leave me on the streets. So when I would have these thoughts, I'd be pushing a shopping cart. I had to say, cancel, cancel. Bring myself back to reality, and then make a list of all the people I could call should it get that bad. And at one point, I carried the list around with me. The other thing that I started doing 25 years ago is that I always have $100 bill in my wallet. I can never think that I'm broke when there's a hundred dollar bill there. Sometimes I have $500 bills and I don't spend them. But every time I open my wallet and I see that I have $100, it's this jolt of positive energy. It's like, oh, look how much I feel.

You're not gonna be stranded.

No, I'm never going to be broke. So you have to figure out what are the little ways to remind yourself that we live in an abundant universe.

We do. So can just touch on that a moment? Because I think that's really important because the abundance is there. We just have to tap into it.

Well, there's so many levels to It So you know what the unified field is? Quantum physics has put proven the unified field exists, which means that we are already connected to everything and everybody. And the past, present and future is all happening right now in this moment. So it's not like I'm going to have the money someday. The money is already yours if you're willing to own it. Now, it may not be in your bank account now, but it's on the way. So it's just a remembering of it. That's why this stuff so slippery. Which is why you need an accountability partner or you need a coach. Because you need someone to remind you what you already know that you forget. Even I forget it sometimes. I have this thought, oh my God, this account is not as big as it was two months ago. And what does it mean? And then I get out my retirement account. It's like, oh yes, look what you've acquired after all these years. You have to be responsible for that stuff. Stuff. But you are just like, you're already connected to your soulmate. You're already connected to your abundance. You just have to remember. Which is why you need to get into the feeling state of having gratitude for what's already yours.

And getting into that feeling state also raises your vibration, right?

Which makes you more magnetic to more love. So one thing I tell single women all the time is you're living like, he's out there, she's out there somewhere, but missing. No, you can start that relationship right now, in this second. All you have to do is start the conversation because on another dimension, you're already connected to your soulmate. I call this love before first sight. So start the dialogue today. So are they here in the 3D world? No, not yet. But are they looking for you? Yes. Just like you have this desire for them, they have the desire for you. Now, what is it you need to do to be in action? Well, you need to be visible. If you're sitting at home on the couch watching Law and Order reruns, they are not going to be knocking at your door. Could you be online dating? Could you go to. It's just lunch. Could you go to a meetup? Could you go for a walk and not be looking at your smartphone?

Well, I actually met my husband on match.com because I was with clients all the time. Where was I going to meet him? But I, I told my girlfriends, I said, my soulmate is coming. I told him the exact date he was coming. I said, August 12th. This was 2005. I emailed them and they're like, okay, Allison, you know, but if he doesn't come, don't be upset. And I just kept picturing him walking towards me. I just have this visual of him walking towards me. Ends up we. We ended up meeting, you know, through match.com, which is kind of an interesting story. He was reaching out to me, I think, like four or five times, but he had misspelled words, and so I wasn't responding. Finally.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I was a journalism major, and there was some pretty big mistakes. So he thought it was spell check. He thought there was spell check on there. Anyway, the last one, he goes, I really think we should meet. Ends up we meet. He had lived around the block for me for. For 10 years, just across the street from where my office is right now. And we had been in the same Starbucks supermarket almost every day. And we hadn't met until I was ready to draw him in.

I so get that because I used to do PR for the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood. I lived in West Hollywood. Brian lived in the Mondrian Hotel for six months. Months when I was doing the pr. We must have crossed each other in the line so many times, but we never met because I wasn't ready. I was busy dating men with commitment issues until I figured out I was the one with the commitment issues. So divine timing plays a role too.

So you are. I mean, these books are just coming out of you. They're just flowing out of you. And you just published your latest book.

Book.

And here it is. It's a beautiful book. I love the COVID Love on the Other side. Can you tell everybody a little bit about this book?

Yeah, it's a collection of stories of when one half of a soulmate couple dies and goes to heaven and how they send their living soulmate a new soulmate. So it's a beautiful collection of true stories. And it also explains how you can ask your loved ones, your friends on the other side, to help you with your problems, because they want to help you, but they won't unless you ask. So whatever your issue is, you can just, in your mind or in a meditation or in a letter, ask them to help. Now, the caveat is, if they weren't good with money on this side, they may not be any better over there. So you want to pick and choose who you're asking for help.

Right.

You know, and the book is.

So be specific.

Yeah, it's available for free. It's@loveontheotherside.com you can download it or if you want, the Paperback, you can get it on Amazon.

Oh, this is a beautiful book. And what started it all was. And you have the book here, Soulmate Secret, right?

Yeah, this is the Soulmate secret.

If you haven't read this book and you're looking for that loved one, this is. The answers are in here.

And it's fun. It's a very fun process to do. Everything's really easy, but it, it, you have to participate. You know, I, I have this sense all the time, people want their soulmate, but they want the FedEx guy to deliver it to their front door.

Right.

Doesn't work like that. You know, you have, you have to be part of the process, right?

And you, you've got to work on yourself so that you can attract the type of person that you want. Right. So now you've had a big change. I just want to touch upon this because it's been dramatic because I've known you for some years and I've seen the change and you've made some intentional changes in the way that you work, in the way that you live your life. Can you share that? Because I think it's very inspiring.

I was very ambitious and very driven for most of my life, and I worked very quickly so I can keep a lot of plates spinning. And I had fun doing it. But what I didn't realize was that it was killing me. I mean, literally just wearing me out. So exactly two years ago, I went through this very big trauma. My sister Debbie died, as you know, from a very long journey with cancer. And Brian and I were with her 24 7, her last seven weeks. And so we didn't sleep, we didn't eat, we were just a mess. And as soon as she passed, I had to go back to work. And I had three really big projects that I couldn't hand off to anybody. And about a month later, Brian sat me down and he had tears in his eyes and he said, I'm really afraid for you. I'm afraid you're going to die. You can't do this anymore. You don't have the energy. And he's not a drama king. And I was like, oh my God, this could be true. So I started to look and see, well, where could I take a little vacation? Where could I take a break? It was April. And I looked and I saw August 1st I could be complete. And. And I knew I could power through anything for three more months. So I said, great, let's take a two week vacation starting August 1st. And as we got closer to August 1st, I thought, you know, two weeks may not be enough. Let's do six weeks. So I talked to my business partners at Evolving Wisdom. They were like, yes, of course, take six weeks off. So six weeks into this little sabbatical of mine where I turned off my email, my voicemail, got rid of my cell phone, we went to Bora Bora, I started reading books, taking naps. Six weeks in, I realized, oh, I need more time. So I took another six weeks. So at the end of 107 days, I realized that the truth was I just couldn't do it anymore. I needed a total shift. So I decided that I was only going to go back to work part time or less. I was no longer going to call it work. I was only going to do creative projects that felt good and I was just going to reinvent my life. And that's what I did. And it's just, it's been miraculous because of course, when you only work part time, you would assume you'd make half as much money. So of course the business side of me is thinking, well, I can't live on half as much money. But I also know that if I keep up this old pace, something bad could really happen.

Right. You won't be able to enjoy it anyway.

So I thought, okay, well, what would I say to me about prosperity? And I thought, you know what? I don't need to know where the money's going to come from. And I just have to keep trusting that I've always been a manifester. And the truth is the money has always come, but now I'm not going to know from where. And then it just started falling into my lap from the craziest places, places I never expected. And it drives my accountant crazy because he goes, well, can you project what your income is going to be this year? It's like, I absolutely cannot. I can tell you where a third of it's manifestation.

That's the column on QuickBooks.

Yeah. And I don't know. And things change. And I was telling you earlier, my publisher wanted me to write another book and I didn't want to write another book, of course I did. So some of it came from that. The rest of it I don't know. So I have to live my truth in a new way that I didn't before because it was predictable in the past, and now it's not predictable except to say that the money always comes, Always.

Right. And I think it's exciting when you leave the door open like that because you make room for a new adventure.

To Come into your life and you know, there's a line in A Course in Miracles that I live by, which is in this moment, I have everything that I need. Which is true. We have enough air to breathe, enough clean water to drink, enough love. There's no shortage of air, water, love or food in the Western world. May not be true in other places, but for us, for me, in this moment, I have everything that I need. And the only moment to be in is this moment. Because lack only occurs when. When I'm looking out, thinking, well, what if I don't have enough tomorrow?

Right, right. Or getting stuck in a.

So it's a new spiritual practice. Yes.

I love it. I love it. Well, so speaking of, you just mentioned that you worked on another book. What is to come for you, Ariel Ford? What is next?

Well, at the end of the year, my next book is called Turn youn Mate into your Soulmate. And it, it's just such a juicy book because not only does it really explain the truth about what a soulmate is, it explains how to have a really happy life with your soulmate. And we even get really woo woo. I talk about how we select our soulmate when we're in between lives and how that works and the sacred contracts that we come into this life with. And the truth is, relationships aren't easy. And your mate does not come with an owner's manual.

I don't read them anyway.

No, I wouldn't read it anyway too. But this book is a compilation of what I've done for the last five years, which is to host the Art of Love series online where I've interviewed the world's top love and relationship experts. So I have been getting this PhD twice a year in love by talking to John Gray and Harville Hendricks and Alison Armstrong, all the greats. And I've used their work so peppered throughout. The book is the best of all their research. So I didn't know what I knew until I started writing it. So I'm really, really excited about what the book can do for people who are sort of stuck in. Well, we've been together 20 years, maybe it's over. And the truth is, if you were once in love with somebody, it is possible to reignite the love through brain chemistry. And I explained the research on that as well. And the other truth is is that some soulmate relationships do come with an expiration date. Sometimes it is just over. And that you can have what my friend Catherine Woodward Thomas calls a conscious uncoupling. You don't have to have it be a nasty, ugly, dramatic.

Right.

Breaking up.

It's just that phase. You learn what you're supposed to learn and do, you're supposed to do together, and it's time to, like.

A lot of people come together, and they're supposed to have these kids, and they're supposed to be together for so long, and then it's just kind of. Well, it's not that I hate you, but there's somebody else out there for me. And that's where you get to bust this really crazy myth that we each only get one big love in a lifetime. Not true at all. There's many, many, many possible soulmates for everybody.

Wow. So if you think that you can't find one, there's probably 10 out there that you didn't know about.

John gray says there's 200,000.

Oh, my gosh. Wow.

Plenty.

Yeah.

Yeah. There's no shortage of love.

Get off the couch. Well, this has been fantastic. I just. I love this. I could talk for hours. So tell us. Tell people where they can find more information about your work and all of this.

My main website is soulmatesecret.com and there's a tab called free stuff. So go play on the free stuff. There's feeling izations there, which is the process that I trademarked to take you from your head to your heart. There's a newsletter. There's all kinds of juicy love tips I send out every month. So soulmatesecret.com's probably the best place. Or if you're totally ready and serious to manifest love, go to soulmatepassion.com and that's where my online course is.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

Oh, good. Well, this has been wonderful. I'm sure you're all feeling inspired to either find your soulmate or reignite the passion with the one that you're with and apply these amazing strategies to all areas of your life. So thank you for spending time with us here at Ali and you. And until next time, step out there, step up, show up, elevate your life. You absolutely deserve it. Bye, everybody.