How to Shift Your Words and Scale Your Life with Sam Horn

John F. Kennedy said it best. He said our task is not to fix the blame for the past, it's to fix the course for the future. So see if people are complaining, complaining, complaining. It's not helping, is it?

Hi everyone. Welcome to the Scale It Method where we teach you how to reach the next level in your business, build your dream team and scale beyond eight figures. Too many business owners are stuck trying to do everything themselves and their businesses are suffering as a result.

Result.

And I don't want you to be one of those people. I'm Alison Maslin and my company, Pinnacle Global Network, has helped thousands of business owners scale their companies using our framework, the Scale It Method. All business owners face similar challenges when it comes to growth. So on this podcast we are delivering the tactics, the experts that you need to finally scale your company, reach your dreams, scale your team and have an amazing life. So talk about experts today. One of my favorite favorite people and a dear friend I have Sam Horn and she is the CEO of the Intrigue Agency, a positioning messaging consultancy which helps people Design and deliver TEDx talks, keynotes, funding pitches and one of a kind brands. She is also the CEO of Tong Fu Training Institute and a trademark communication skills approach that teaches how to give and get respect at work, at home, online, in public. We're going to talk about some of that today. Words matter, right? And Sam is the expert with words. We have actually had her present for Pinnacle Global Network a few times. She is seriously a favorite of our members. She has authored 10 books, books from major publishers including Tung Fu Pop, Take the Bully by the Horns, Someday is Not a Day in the Week. I love that book and Washington Post bestseller got your attention. Her newest book, Talking on Eggshells, which we're going to talk about today, received a glowing Publisher's Weekly review and endorsements from Marie Forleo, Jack Canfield, Lynne Twist, JJ version, and the Whole Foods founder John Mackey, who calls the book the course correct for today's Cancel Culture. Sam's work's been featured in dozens of publications including New York Times, Forbes, Reader's Digest, on and on and on. She's been on every major network and she has spoken for over a half a million people worldwide and her books have been published in 17 languages. Holy cow. Wow, wow, wow. She is one of the most interesting women I've ever met. And let's see, let's dive in. Sam, welcome to the Scale It Method Podcast.

Thanks so much Alison. I really been looking forward to sharing some stories and insights with your community.

Yeah Well, I want to dive into, like, how this journey started with you, but I wanted to kick it off. I was thinking last night, how would you describe Sam Horn in two words? What would you say? I know you're the wordsmith, so.

Okay, I got it. My mind had to work on that one because that's a new question. Okay, already.

Yeah.

Intriguingly grateful.

Ooh, I love that. You know what that is. So you. I love that. And you know, you have this air of gratitude about you, and you have such a. Away with words. And I want to dive into that today, but did you always, like, as a child, did you have this instant interest in writing and books, the gift of language, you know, that start.

Alison, it's. I am really grateful to. Wait for it. Reader's Digest. And here's why. I grew up in a small town. I actually rode my horse to the library and. Oh, my God. No, really. I had a palomino, his two sons, speeds were a trot and a flat out run. He never loped, he never walked. And I would ride him to the library, tie him up to a tree, and then I would go in and I would get lost in the world of books. And so I was a reader from a young age. And you want to know the story about Reader's Digest?

Please.

Okay. So we would go to our grandmother's house about three times a year in far away la, beyond our small mountain valley. Now, we would play with our cousins outside, unless it rained. And then we were banished to the back porch where there were stacks of Reader's Digest. And I would read them all day long. And I remember even back then, you know, there'd be these little pithy quotes, these little one liners, and I would tear it out and I would save it. And at that point, I didn't know what I was saving it for. I just knew that it got my eyebrows up. Wow. That was profound. Wow. I never thought of that before. Well, I want to remember that. So I think Reader's Digest played a wonderful role in helping me appreciate the. The power of one sentence to open our eyes and mind to something important that we wanted to do.

Yeah, I don't think that our current generation, some of them, may not even know what Reader's Digest is. Although we always say the Reader's Digest version, which is like the condensed version, you know, I had stacks though, Sam, of the Archie comic books.

That was my thing.

Our Little House on the Prairie, so. But I love it. And you have the most interesting titles of your books and you do that for a reason. I know. Can you share why? You know, you've got Tung Fu now. Walking on eggshells. Tell us a little bit about your thinking when you're coming up with a title of a book.

You know, Richard Branson said, time is the new money and the clock starts ticking the second we start talking. So if we have something we care about, whether it is our book or with your community, their business, their startup, their product, or their launch, we have seconds to capture people's attention. And so I know that if I can come up with a one of a kind name people haven't heard before, like Tung Fu, people are curious. They want to know more. Talking on eggshells. What's that? You know, someday is not a day in the week. So if we can come up with a sound bite that passes the eyebrow test. Now, you know what the eyebrow test is, right?

Is it like.

Oh, not, not. You know what? I'm glad you did that.

Some of you on audio had no idea what I just did, but I was trying to do the intrigue look.

Yeah, okay, well, here's the 62nd story. You know that I helped start and run the Maui Writers Conference. Kind of what Cannes is to the film industry. We were to the publishing industry. And our first year, we gave people an unprecedented opportunity to jump the chain of command. You could pitch your screenplay to Ron Howard, you could pitch your novel to the of Simon and Schuster. And yet I could tell whether or not people were getting interest in their project without hearing a word being said. I would stand in back of the room and I would watch the pitches. And if the decision makers eyebrows were crunched up, like right now, even if you're listening, you know, and not watching, crunch up your eyebrows. Okay, do you feel confused? Right? Like you don't get it confused? People don't say yes. Now, if we're describing our business or our book or our project to someone and their eyebrows are unmoved, it means they're unmoved or they've had Botox. Now lift your eyebrows.

That makes it a little more challenging.

If you lift your eyebrows, don't you feel intrigued, curious, like you want to know more? You can test whether or not you're going to get what you care about in someone's mental door in seconds. Describe it to them. Watch their eyebrows. If they're up, you're in.

Wow, I had not heard that. But you know what? Body language is so powerful. You can often get what somebody is feeling without them saying a word and, you know, speaking of that, I want to talk a little bit about how you teach us to use words and language. And you've said in your new book Talking on Eggshells, and you all need to get this book, it's phenomenal. You said it is to teach us how to learn to agree and disagree and agree to disagree. Can you share what you mean by that and why this is so important?

There's a study out of Harvard that said 67% of people are conflict averse. And that means that if they're going to have a hard conversation, if they anticipate this is going to be contentious or someone's going to get angry, they just head the other way. In fact, there's actually three common styles where either we either avoid conflict, we accommodate conflict, which means we give in to get along, go along, or we get angry at conflict. And so part of the purpose of this book is how can we agree, how can we cooperate and actually get people on the same side instead of side against side? How can we disagree when we have different opinions and we realize we're not going to change their mind, they're not going to change ours. And how can we say we're at an impasse and we're never going to resolve this, so we're going to agree to disagree because if we do those three things, even the hardest conversation, we can navigate it in a way that ends up being a win for everyone.

Boy, this country needs that, doesn't it, Sam? So much. Seriously. You know, I used to be. I mean, I was a middle child. My parents got divorced when I was 13. I was always the let's all get along. And I was one of those people that used to avoid conflict and really struggled with that. But as I've grown, as you know, in my businesses over the many years, I realized that did not work because it wasn't like the problem went away, it just got bigger. And, you know, it's so interesting when you do face an issue head on, it actually ends up not being near as big as we make it in our minds. Right.

And so you're bringing up one of my favorite stories in the book. And Alison, you knew I was going to do this. Unless someone's driving, I hope they get a piece of paper and put a vertical line down the side center. All right, because we're going to have words on the left and words to use on the right. And now on the left, put the word conflict. Because, see, if we dread conflict, if we perceive this is going to be a conflict, once again, we bail. So over on the right, put clarifying conversation. Ah, what happens if we see a conflict as a clarifying conversation? So, 60 second story. So my, my best granddaughter is learning disabled. And after a lot of attempts, she finally got a job at Salvation army. And it was really important to her. And after about a year, her boss said, you're up for promotion. The very next day, she said, you're in danger of getting fired. Now, before, if this had happened, Bethany probably would have collapsed into tears, may have quit on the spot, would have gone home, rehashed it, perhaps fallen into a depression. Her therapist had given her six words. Could you please help me understand? She went back to her boss the next day. She said, could you please help me understand why I was up for promotion at the beginning of the week and I threatened getting fired yesterday? And her boss explained a situation. And Bethany remembered this customer who had complained he tried to return a used mattress with a cover on it. They couldn't do that. She'd polit explain the policy. He left in a huff. Once the manager understood what actually happened, she complimented Bethany for enforcing the policy, thanked her, and gave her the promotion she deserved. Now look at the ripple effect over on the left. We can dissolve in tears, we can go home, we can get depressed, we can rehash it, or we can say, could you please help me understand and have a clarifying conversation.

Oh, my gosh, that is so powerful. Really. I mean that when you think of clarifying conversation, you know, there's no energy around that. There's no icky energy around that. Somebody gave me advice years ago, Sam, and they said, learn to embrace conflict.

Wow.

And I love that because it doesn't mean create conflict. It means to just really be okay with it because it can turn into a beautiful thing like the situation that you shared here. And so it's so powerful. And this really goes into this idea of positioning. And positioning is everything. It's everything in the conversations we have with our significant other, with our children, in our business. Anything, really. And so what are some words we need to stop using or that we need to use more of to get our point across? Can you give us some clues? I love the clarifying conversation, but if there's anything else good, let's go ahead.

And I'll give another 60 second story and then we'll unpack it with words on the left that actually make it worse and words on the right that make it better. Sound good. Love it. So here's the scenario. Imagine somebody is doing something wrong. They're making a mistake or they're doing something they're not supposed to. Well, over on the left, we often say stop doing that or don't do that or we get angry or whatever. No, makes it worse. Here's a story and then we'll come up with the exact words. I was visiting my son Andrew in New York, and his one year old son Hero starts crawling across the floor, hauls himself up on a guitar, starts banging on the strings. Now over on the left, Andrew could have said, stop banging on the strings. He could have said no, he could have yank the guitar away. All of which would have made Hero feel bad. Allison, guess what he said instead?

What?

Gentle. And I saw Hero's face transform and he reached back to the guitar, went strum, strum, strum. And in that moment, Hero made music because Andrew shaped his behavior instead of shamed it. He coached him how to do it right instead of criticizing him for doing it wrong. He showed him how to do it better instead of making him feel bad. And when someone is making a mistake or doing something wrong, put the word should over on the left. Put the word stop over on the left, put the words don't over on the left. All of those reinforce the dreaded behavior. Plus, my dad used to tell me we can't make someone do better by making them feel bad. All those words make people feel bad and they don't tell them how to do it better. So over on the right, instead of stop, start instead of should, shape instead of don't do. And you're an athlete. I mean, when you're up there, you don't go, I hope I don't miss the bar. That's not going to help, right? It's I'm going to catch the bar. You know, it's you tell yourself what you do want instead of what you don't, which dramatically increases the likelihood it's going to happen.

Oh, absolutely. I mean, that's really how I start every single day, Sam, is to focus on what I do want. And when I am up on the trapeze, I literally visualize myself doing that trick and catching that bar. But I was just thinking of the power with your son saying the word gentle. First of all, gentle is such a beautiful word. And you know, if he had said no, it could have made your grandson think, you know, really relate the guitar with this is I should stay away from that or I should not want to be inspired to use this. Right. So it's just really incredible how words can shape our experiences and really Impact our life experience.

I hope everyone right now is thinking about work, is thinking about home, and how many times we say, you put too much information on your slides. You were late again to the meeting. It's like you forgot to feed the dog. It's like, stop interrupting me. Don't get mad. All of those things. Over on the left, number one, we are creating resistance and resentment. And once again, you know, people are going to keep doing the very thing we don't want them to do. So it's like, you know, be five minutes early. Instead of, don't be late, let me finish. Instead of, don't interrupt me. It's, you know, have 10 words max per slide instead of stop putting so much information on your slides. It is a game changer.

Yeah, it's really thinking of, if you're about to say something negative, what would be the positive? What would be the flip side of it? Still getting the same point across. But how can you say it in a more uplifting way? I guess.

You know, Esther Perel said, behind every criticism is a veiled wish. So, see, the prompt is, what do I wish? Right. What do I want? And often the mind will say, well, I want him to be on time. Well, I want him to let me finish. Well, I want him to do this. And so just ask yourself, what do I wish? And often that will help you come up with these positive, proactive words that produce the desired behavior that is the.

Thought, what do I wish in this moment?

That's right.

Right. And coming from that place now, you've said that when someone's complaining, you should not explain yourself. So can you explain that?

You bet. So if you're taking notes, put on the left. If people complain, don't explain. Because when we explain, we think that people will understand and they'll forgive us. They actually get angrier because they feel that explanations come across as excuses that we're not being accountable. So over on the right, put the A train. When people complain, don't explain. Take the A train. A for agree. A for apologize. A for act. You're right. Someone says, you were supposed to be here an hour ago. Don't blame me. I've been stuck in traffic. How was I supposed to know this? I didn't know if you'd forgotten. Get off my case. It was out. See the, The. The rabbit hole. When we explain, we. In an argument over on the right, if we ask ourselves, is what they're saying basically true? Most of the time, people complain. It is. That's why they're Complaining, Right, Right.

So if we say take, take responsibility. Right? Because, you know, there's always a thousand excuses why, and they're expressing their feelings and when you're explaining, you're basically disregarding their, their complaint or their feelings. But what about if someone's always complaining? What about, you know. Well, first of all, you try to avoid being around those people, but let's just say it's someone in your family that's always complaining.

Yeah.

What do you. Same thing.

No, I really believe in a pattern interrupt.

Oh, okay.

Because see, if it is a pattern of complaining, as, you know, rewarded behavior gets repeated, right. If they're complaining a lot, they're probably getting a lot of sympathy for it or they're getting a lot of attention for it, or they're getting away with their excuses, Right? So we are rewarding the complaining by giving them something that is giving them what they want. And at that point it is not serving them and it is not serving us. So I believe in being a pattern interrupt. And you're an athlete in team sports, like basketball, what does a referee do? If everyone's getting into a fracas and he or she wants to stop it, what's the referee do with his or her hands?

Well, since I was the last kid ever picked for team sports, Sam, because I was, I was super short and, and pigeon toed, so that's why I went into gymnastics. But I think what do you do? Blow the whistle. Time out, Time out.

You know, and, and what you can do is if people are arguing or constantly complaining, if we try to talk over them, often they get louder. The voice of reason gets drowned out in the commotion. If instead we say, hey, time out, we actually make a tea with our hands or we hold our hand up like a policeman would. Because when you make a gesture like this, often people will stop. Especially if we say their name, it will cause a pause. And then you say something like, let's not do this. We could go back and forth, you know, for the rest of the afternoon about who dropped the ball on this, or enough, we've been talking about this for the past half hour and it won't change anything. Instead, and then, well, John F. Kennedy said it best. He said, our task is not to fix the blame for the past, it's to fix the course for the future. So see, if people are complaining, complaining, complaining. It's not helping, is it? No, that's right.

No. And it's just rehashing and it, and it keeps you stuck.

It does, right. And if people are Taking notes. Write this down. Complaining serves no good purpose. Right. Because as you said, we're going on and on about how unfair this was. And I can't believe she said that. And they said that, you know. No, no, no. It's like pattern interrupt. All right? How are we going to prevent this from happening again? What are we going to say to this person so that they change their behavior? How are we going to handle this more effectively in the future? Now that serves a good purpose when we're finding solutions instead of finding fault.

Yeah. You know, it's interesting because I have a relationship with somebody, I'm not going to mention who it is that is often a complaining person. And it's interesting because oftentimes when we're in that space, when let's say we're in the one that is in the complaining, you know, they don't often see it within themselves. Yeah, right. It's like anything you're so used to doing or operating a certain way, it could even be running your business. You're so we, we talk about business owners that are too in the weeds of their business.

Yeah.

After a while it's on autopilot. You don't even realize that it's happening. So I do think that those. Pattern interrupt. Sometimes it's like throwing ice on your, you know, a bucket ice on you to go, hey, wake up. Do you realize how you're showing up and how this is impacting other people? It's hard to take though, Right, because you, you really have to look at yourself in the mirror.

You know, I'm really glad you're bringing this up because it's really. One of the purposes of the book is to go first is to. Is to. If we don't like what's happening. Well, Elvis Presley said it best. He. When things go wrong, don't go with them. Yeah, right. I love that. Instead of passively being annoyed by someone's behavior or avoiding them, because that's what often happens if someone is a constant complainer. If someone does that after a while, we just don't wanna spend much time with them. So, see, this isn't serving them. It's not serving anyone. Why not do them the favor of diplomatically bringing this to their attention and changing a hab in a way that helps hold them accountable for being a person that people want to be around? I actually think we're serving them instead of sabotaging them by just suffering in silence or choosing not to hang out with them anymore.

Yeah. That's powerful. And is it the same thing. If someone's angry and you don't want to get pulled into their anger, let's say it took you by surprise. What can you do if someone's taking their frustration or anger out on you? What do you recommend?

I'm glad you asked this, because I get to share another one of my favorite stories is that, okay, so this situation is someone's taking their anger or their frustration out on you and it's not right and it's not fair and you don't deserve it. And it's so easy to react. It's so easy to say, hey, it's not my fault. Why are you blaming me? This is, you know. No, no, no. Reactions make it worse. So here' my aunt Kay, 84 year old aunt Kay did. She volunteers at a hospital five days a week. She did this even during COVID And I asked her what it was like and she said it was really stressful. I said, well, what's an example of when someone took their anger or frustration out on you? She didn't even have to think about it. She remembered a woman who ran into the er holding up her phone, saying, my daughter just texted me. She was in an accident, she's in the er. I need to get in and see her. Well, Kate called the er, There was somebody already with the daughter. And now you may remember the rules. During COVID is only one visitor per patient per day, and she had to tell the mother that she could not get in to see the daughter and the mother lost it. She is sobbing and screaming at Aunt Kay. Now, over on the left, Aunt Kay could have reacted, hey, I didn't make the rules. Stop taking this out on me. She could have thought, how rude. So if you're taking notes, put how rude over on the left, which is a stand in for all these reactions. Instead, over on the right, Aunt Kay asked herself four words. How would I feel? How would I feel if my daughter were in the ER and I couldn't get in to see her? And it moved her from impatience to empathy, from contempt to compassion, from there's nothing I can do to. Let me see if there's something I can do. Do. She called the ER back and she asked a simple question. She asked, who is with the daughter? It was the Uber driver who had brought the young woman in. Kay was able to explain the situation to him, thank him. He left and the mother was able to get in with the daughter. Now, Allison, look at the ripple effect once again of how rude, not my fault. Now, how would I Feel it gives us the incentive to. To see if there's something we can do instead of shrugging our shoulders, saying, nothing I can do.

Well, she shifted, right? So she shifted from probably feeling, you know, confronted and then to getting into her heart space to shift how she would react. And I think there, you know, it's taking that pause, right? Because if you're going to shift initially, you might have the stuff on the left come up in your mind. But would you say you need to take a pause so you can shift to these more enlightening, inspiring words on the right?

You know, in a way, you're quoting Viktor Frankl. And Viktor Frankl, of course, was in a German concentration camp and wrote the book Man's Search for Meaning, which Library of Congress said is one of the 10 most important books ever written. And he said that between an incident and your reaction is a pause, and what you do in the pause, will he. Now, I'm paraphrasing. He said the first part. I'm saying the second part. The quality of your life depends on what you do in the pause. And, Allison, you have just captured the whole quintessence of this book. And it's why I do the words and reactions on the left. The left, and words and responses on the right. Because something goes wrong, people complain, people accuse us of something. That's not true, though, what? React, react, pause. And if we choose to do something on the right, it will help things go better. We'll feel better about ourselves, and the person will often feel better at us all because just as you said, we choose to take a moment. We choose to ask ourselves what's going to help instead of hurt. And we do that instead. Did.

Wow, I love that. I love all of this, Sam. It really is can, you know, simple words, how life changing it can be. Now, talking on Eggshells is, you know, we're talking about dealing with challenging situations, but also, you've got some great advice in there on how to overcome our own insecurity, nervousness when you're walking into really important situations. I know. Last week I spoke on stage to 3,000 people at a conference, and, you know, I've spoken to so many audiences over the years, but you always get those, you know, those butterflies in your stomach before you go out and all of that. So what are some things that you can do? What's a technique to help people to, you know, really show up as their best self, even if they're afraid?

You know, two answers to that. And one, I had an opportunity to Share with your community. I believe if we know what we're going to say in the first 60 seconds, and it is so good, we know that the eyebrows are going to be up. People are going to be leaning in because they're going to want to know the answers to the questions, strategic questions we just posed that were golden. We know that we can get the first 60 seconds. So if we have time, we'll talk about that. You're talking more about the emotional, the fear. Oh, my gosh, what if I forget what I'm going to say in front of 3,000 people? You know, what if for some reason, you know, they're not interested? And so let's talk about the emotions is that Candy Lightner's daughter was killed by a drunk driver on the way to prom. And Candy spiraled into depression. And after a few months, she realized that that was not going to bring her daughter back. How could she honor her daughter and prevent this from happening to other families? So she founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving. And at the very first speaking engagement, there were a thousand people in the audience. Now Candy is standing in the wings with a friend of hers, and her knees are knocking and her palms are sweating, and she tells her friend, I think I'm going to faint, because she had never spoken in front of an audience of that size before. She didn't sign up for that.

And.

And her friend walked over to her purse and got out a set of keys and walked back to Candy and said, candy, if, as a result of speaking, one person in the audience chooses to turn over their keys instead of drive drunk, will it be worth it? And so even to this day, when Candy is speaking, she says, keys, keys, keys, keys. Because it reminds her that she's not here to make a name. She's here to make a difference. She's not here to shine or show off. She's here to serve. She's not here. And so do you see? How do you have a mantra that you use to center yourself in how grateful you are for this opportunity and how you are going to step into it with gratitude instead of cower in fear? What's your mantra?

Well, for me, I really center myself. I close my eyes and I think about, what does this audience need? How can I speak through my heart and give me the words so that I can impact, inspire them, help them break through whatever it is that they need? And because I realize years back when I started speaking and I had a lot of fear around it, I realized, what if, Sam? What if it's not about me.

Wow.

What if I am called to do this work that has zero to do with me, but you know, I'm just a catalyst to help others on their path. And so that's really what I, that what I focus on before I walk out on stage doesn't mean that I don't have the butterflies still. And I actually think those are, are good because, you know, it keeps you, keeps you fresh and, and on your toes. But you know, this is such. I think that that's really it for someone, for me is what if it isn't about you? What if these people really need this?

It's Beyonce show says that she gets nervous. If she doesn't get nervous, she says she just pours it into the show. And by the way, do you know what my one word mantra is?

What is it?

Joy. And especially during COVID I did a lot of webinars for people for all the reasons you already know, we were quarantined and so forth. And sometimes this would be like for Oracle or Johnson and Johnson and there'd be thousands of people internationally on a webinar and I'd start getting ramped up about what if my tech goes wrong and, and I, and I'm not making this up up. I write the. And I do it fresh for every like big event. I put Joy write it out J O Y and I post it where I can see it because it centers me and what people really want is for me to be lit up sharing things I believe in that can make a difference. Sharing true stories that they relate to that maybe are going to motivate them or make them feel that they're not alone. So joy centers me and I think the quintessence of communication, which is we had, guess what? We're circling back intriguingly grateful for this opportunity and welcoming it instead of being anxious about it.

Well, you emit so much joy. You do. That's just the energy about you. And you know, even just we're connected on Facebook, I read your posts. Just the deep insight that you bring and just bringing joy into every moment, that's, that's really where I am at this point in my life is it's not about the getting there. It's the, it's the joy along the way to get there that matters. And so I love, I love all that you're sharing today. And you know, for those of you that are listening, you're probably thinking, wow, she knows so many quotes. And I'll just tell you, you don't know the, the Nth because Sam. Well, I'm like, how do you even remember all of these quotes? And so how did you become so enamored with quotes? And I would love to know, what are your two top favorite quotes of all time?

Okay. Well, I'm very grateful to my dad for planting the seed about the power and the importance of quotes is that we talked about growing up in a small town. So when I was selected valetorian for my school is big deal, small town. So I prepared my little homily, my little bird leaving the nest speech, and I gave it to my dad, and he ran FFA Future Farmers of America for the state of California. And they really know a lot about public speaking. And so I valued his opinion and I gave him my talk, and he listened. And then he said, it's an okay talk. He said, you just didn't say anything I hadn't heard before. Now, he wasn't being mean. He knew I wanted honest feedback. And I said, but, dad, there's nothing new under the sun. And he said, of course there is. He said, do you know what the definition of original is? If people haven't heard it before, it's original. And I realized that if we're going to ask people for their valuable time, we have a responsibility to introduce something they haven't heard before. And I think with attribution. You know, I really believe in giving credit where credit belongs, right? So if Mother Teresa says the world is full of good people, if you can't find one B1, right? So, see, when I see a quote like that, I immediately think, all right, where am I going to use it? Because memory is tied with attention and intention. So it got my attention. Now I have intention about where I'm going to use it. And then just like a jazz piano player would riff off chords to make new music. Music, I riff off quotes to make new ideas. So it's like when we say a quote like that, we think, all right, think about at work. Who is a good person at work? Who is someone you respect? Who is someone who acts in integrity? Or are you working a place where there's no one like that? Well, then I guess you've got to be it, right? So another one is Joyce Meyer said, life may give you a cactus. You don't have to sit on it. See, a lot of talking on eggshells is, life is giving us a cactus, right? It's giving someone who's complaining or someone. And, like, we don't have to sit on it, though. And here are proactive Things that we can do to handle it with grace and with forward progress so that we don't just sit and complain. Want to know my favorite quote of all of them?

Yes. What is that?

I'm very grateful to my college philosophy professor because we walked into class and he said, we're going to study Socrates and Aristotle and Plato, but first you're going to come up with your philosophy. That was our assignment for the first week, is to, under a hundred words, come up with a philosophy, our purpose for life. And I came up with it decades ago, and it's still my purpose for life and my favorite way. Well, my favorite quote. Ready?

Yes.

My purpose is to make as positive difference for as many people as possible while maintaining a happy, healthy lifestyle with friends and family. That's it.

Oh, that's beautiful.

See, it's the best. That's beautiful.

I mean, if you think about it, Sam, a quote I just had this download while we were talking is that quotes really are a gift from all of these people that are alive or have passed on. They're little bites of insight, right?

Yes.

And they're gifts.

Yes.

And I was thinking, my favorite, my favorite quote. And then I was thinking, what is my quote? But my favorite quote is by Henry David Thoreau. It's all good things are wild and free. I just love that all good things are wild and free. And he must have. That must have come to him while he was on Walden Pond, where he used to go and write. And then a quote I came up with years ago, and I still say it, I say it at the end of my podcast podcasts when I teach is make decisions from where you're going, not from where you're at.

Wow.

And it really kind of sums up, you know, so many things is, you know, focusing on your vision as if you're there already instead of just embracing the cactus. Maybe that's in front of you. Right. So anyway, this is so fun. Now you help people with positioning, TED Talk, writing, books, branding. What are you most excited, besides this new book, Talking on eggshells, which you all need to go out and get or order on Amazon. What are you most excited about these days?

You know what, if this is in alignment with what you and I have been talking about, Alison, is that I am at a stage in my career where I get to really work with smart and talented people, and they're kind of thinking about their legacy, whether it is a book, whether it's a TEDx, south by Southwest talk, UN talk. And what I love doing is diving Deep. And finding out what is their. Their one of a kind message. We. No platitudes, no cliches. Right? It's like you have learned something throughout your career or you have experienced something, or you are crystal clear about something. And. And it sums up your. Your life epiphany. And, you know, Pablo Picasso said, the purpose of life is to find your gifts. The meaning is to give them away. So what I love is helping people crystallize and articulate that. All right, what is the gift of their life that they've learned the hard way that they want to pass along? Now, how can we put that in a book? How can we put that in a TEDx talk? It's like an intellectual Disneyland. Alice, listen.

And you're so great at seeing that because we don't often see it in ourselves. We may have the gift, but we just. We can take it for granted. Where you're so good to really observe that and then turn it into something that, that people can really embrace. So thank you for that. And how can people reach you?

It's real easy. It's. My website is samhorn.com and my TEDx Next talks are there and my blogs are on there. And yes, there are some quotes there as well, and consulting information, et cetera. And I hope people follow me on LinkedIn because I really do love to write. I am a writer, and to me, my life is my lab and the world is my material. So I write frequently there about what's going on and what I'm hearing and what I'm thinking. And people tell me that not only is it a pebble in the pond of my legacy, that they look forward to it because there's always something that puts a smile on their face or in their heart and that they can use in their work and in their life.

Ah, you're so inspiring, Sam. Truly, this has been one of my favorite, favorite podcasts of all time. Any last words of advice that you want to leave everybody with?

You know, you started off by asking for two words that describe me. And so here is surprise, surprise, a quote, Alison. And it captures also what I think you're doing, what I'm doing, what I think you help people in your community do. Catherine Graham of the Washington Post said, to do what you love and feel that it matters. How could anything be more fun? The only thing more fun is to do what you love, feel that it matters, and get to do it with people you enjoy and respect. Expect that's what we get to do, huh?

That's what we've been doing here for the last 45 minutes or so. Truly, truly a blessing. So I know for those of you listening, definitely check out Sam Horn. Connect with her, read her books. My goodness, 10 books. And I'm sure there's a lot more books in there. So excited for the future of all that you're going to create. Sam, thank you for being with us on the Scale it method podcast today. And so if you want to build a scalable company, well, all of this that we shared today is important because it's how you show up, it's how you communicate. So definitely read Sam's new book, Talking on Eggshells. And if you want to build a scalable company that can thrive without you, you are ready to get the support you need to do it. So apply for a complimentary scale session with one of our lead strategists at Pinnacle Global Network. And during your time together, they're going to dive into your business, figure out what the gaps are holding you back to get to that next level. They're going to give you real time solutions. Super powerful. So head on over to myscale session.com myscalesession.com to apply and schedule your time. And if you want to learn what we're up to at Pinnacle Global Network, just go on over to our website, Pinnacle Clinical Global Network.

Com.

And until next time, like I said earlier, make decisions from where you're going, not from where you're at. Bye, everybody.