Why Living with Intention Will Radically Transform You (DIANE FORSTER)

Did you know that 67% of Americans are unhappy and 15 million people suffer from depression? And then we've got another 8 million people that are suicidal. My goodness. It doesn't have to be this way. Today on Ally and you'd we're going to talk about living intentionally and how to change all of this right here. Welcome to Ali and you'd the Business Success and lifestyle show. I am Alison Maslin. I am a business growth expert and serial entrepreneur. My friends call me Allie. And today we are going to be talking about living intentionally. Now, I know this show is all about business, but the truth is, if you don't have your personal life together, it's very hard to be inspired and motivated to create success in your business. Right. So today I'm super excited because I have an incredible guest, my dear friend and also client in our Pinnacle program, Diane Forster. She is an intentional living expert. Well, what is that? You're going to find all that out. Diane is also, she's certified in nlp, which is neuro linguistic programming, which I love. She has mastered the art of living each day to the fullest through her proven systems and techniques. And you know what? This, I see her do this all the time. I mean, she just, she has that air about her. You're going to love this. So stay with us. She's going to teach you how to have it all, to live intentionally with happiness and passion and energy. And so right now, there is no better time to create wellness and joy. And we're going to start right here and introduce Diane Foerster.

Hi, Diane. Hi, Allie. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Yeah, well, honor.

Your message is so important. And when you think about those statistics, I mean, 15 million people depressed, 8 million people suicidal. And that just breaks my heart. It doesn't have to be that way.

Right. Two thirds of the people living in this country are unhappy, and it's crazy. It doesn't have to be that way. There is a much easier way and we make it harder on ourselves than it needs to be. So.

Well, we're going to talk about that today. We're going to give strategies so that we're not going to just talk about it. We're going to help you get started living with more joy. But you became this expert on living passionately, living fully. Can you give us the story? Like, how did you get here to be able to help people?

Well, it was a journey for sure. I was living in a relationship, in a marriage for many years. I was married for 20 years. I was living in Chicago, and it was a very unhappy, unhealthy relationship. And I grew up with a mom and a dad who loved each other, but they didn't have that romantic, intimate connection. And I didn't witness any, you know, intimacy being exchanged with them. So I. In my mind, I grew up thinking, well, that's what marriage looks like. So I, of course, attracted a man into my life and had that similar relationship with him.

And I bet a lot of people can relate to that, right, because we mirror. We started tracking what we're used to.

Absolutely. Absolutely so. And there were great qualities about him, too. But there was a key element missing. And I saw my parents struggle through it, and so I struggled through it. But what was happening to me is, to the outside world, it looked like everything was great. You know, the husband and wife with the twin, boy and girl and the two dogs and the house and the careers, and everything on the outside looked perfect. But on the inside, I was imploding. I was. My soul was chipping away more every day, week after week, month after month, year after year. And I struggled to make that work. But I didn't want to be a failure at it. And I really pushed through it as much as I possibly could until I just couldn't take it any longer. And one night, I attempted suicide. I just thought, I cannot live with this pain anymore and this loneliness. So it was a pivotal moment. It was one of those God moments in the bathroom, the pills got knocked out of my hands. I heard the voice. I'm very intuitive, so I heard the voice. And the voice said, oh, no, Diane, you are not ending this way. You need to go get help because you need to help others. You need to tell your story.

Wow. I just got chills completely.

So I threw my hands up and said, well, then you have to show me the way. And the very next day, I called a therapist and said, I need help. I am changing my life. So it set me down this path, and I really immerse myself in self development and self help. And while the end of that marriage happened, I went through the stages of grief, as you would go through. But shortly into it, I said, now, enough. I need to own my part in this. I need to figure out why I would stay in a relationship like this, be an enabler, and allow myself to be treated that way. So I said, if I don't own my part in this, I'm just going to continue to repeat this pattern. It was the last thing I wanted. So I Immersed myself in personal development. I went to every seminar I could, I read every book I could, I listened to every podcast I could. And what was starting to happen was I was really discovering me and I was really healing in a very profound way and showing up very, very big. So I was surrounded by others who were going through divorce, but no one was having the transformation that I was having. And so I just started developing these processes and these rituals for me that were really serving me really well. And I started realizing how I get to choose and decide how I want to live, how I want to feel, what I want my life to look like. And so it was a journey and a process.

So you went from a place of feeling trapped, stuck to realizing that you had freedom and freedom of choice once you started feeling more confident and stronger from the work that you were doing, Right?

Definitely. Yes. Yes. It was extremely empowering.

Yeah. You know, it's interesting because I went through a divorce many years ago, and I know that feeling. When you're, when you're so beaten down, you start believing the situation. Right. You start. Your self esteem is kind of in the toilet and it's hard to just make decisions from that place.

Right.

So I always say when your desire for change gets stronger than your fear. And for you, like, you just, you hit bottom is what happened. And it was like, you know, it was either I'm going forward or forget it.

Yeah. And I say we don't know how high we can rise until we see how low we can fall and really pick ourselves up and really own our strength and our power. We are so powerful. And people don't know how powerful they are. They feel victimized, and they do. What's epidemic, besides those statistics is the fact that lack of self worth in people is something that's, that's criminal. And it's deep, deep, deeply rooted in women. And they don't know how powerful they are. And it's something that I'm, I'm. It's my mission in life to empower these women who don't know their self worth to instead discover their true divinity and their power and their purpose and for find their unique passion and their purpose and really give it to the world. Because we know this. We're all uniquely skilled at something that we do better than anybody else. And it's our job and our purpose to figure out what that is so that we can offer it to the rest of the world because we need those gifts.

Oh, I truly believe that. You know, that one thing I just, I want to Touch on because I think it's super important. What you just said is you also looked at your part in it because it's so easy to get into the victim place because you're. You feel like you've been dealt a bad hand. Right. And even for myself back then. But obviously we make the choices to put ourselves in the situation. And my guess is, is that because you've been through that, you are who you are. Do you feel like, oh, I wish I would have made different choices or do you?

Okay, I look at every single moment of my life, every single thing that happened to me as a gift. It's a gift because I wouldn't be where I am today because of it if we don't have. You know, everybody talks about, you know, the 12 laws of the universe, everybody talks about the law of attraction, which I follow and I live by, but I love the law of polarity because on the opposite end of the worst case scenario is that much more extraordinary on the other end of it. And we can't get there unless we experience this. You know, if things are ho hum and status quo, there's no contrast, there's no diversity.

I was just telling someone recently, I'm grateful for the times that my back was against the wall where you had no other option because it just felt forces you. Well, you could give up or it just forces you. If you, if you want it bad enough, you're gonna find a way to make it happen. And you get more creative that way. Yes. Than if you've, you know, if it's kind of the easy road, what motivates you?

Right, exactly.

Well, this is great. So you talk about strategies. Well, first of all, you have this great book. Can you share it? Hold better?

Sure.

It's. I have today find you'd Passion, purpose and smile. Smile finally. And this is a fantastic book. You definitely have to get it. And you talk about in the book strategies on how to live more intentionally. Can you just describe what do you mean by living intentionally?

Well, intentionally means you take control of your day. You don't leave the events and circumstances of your life up to happenstance. You get to decide how you want to live. And that is, you know, what's going on with the other person. They could be having a really bad day. Something could have happened to them. We don't know.

So don't own it.

Don't take it on.

Right.

It's like a little barrier around you. So you think this has nothing to do with me. And instantly that makes you feel better. And then the final part is to praise that person in your mind. I say this is the best they have. This is all they're capable of today. I don't know what's going on with them. And this is the best they have to offer today. So it looks, lets them off the hook too. So it ties it, it's just, it's such a powerful technique and it runs through my mind all the time. And it's so effective in the way I communicate, the way I'm talking.

Someone you're talking to is rude to you or if something didn't turn out the way that you had intended.

Right. And even the guy who cuts you off in front of you, you know, something that would make people react. I mean, think about that.

I need you to talk to my husband, okay?

We'll work on him.

No, but I do like that. So breathe, think, sing. And you know, it is intention. It's a decision you make. And I think for me, as I've gotten older, of course you stop and appreciate those moments more. You know, last night, like I was just talking to you about the beautiful sunset last night. I mean, these are the things that stick with you. But when you are feeling down, I think it's almost like you don't see those things.

Right, right. So it is hard to dig yourself up when you're in that space. And like me, you know, I was beaten down. My self esteem was in the tank and my confidence was in the tank and it was a breaking free. And nobody should have to go through that moment that I went through that day. And, and it's criminal that 8 million people are feeling that way. And you know, some of the strategies and the things that I do is I put myself first. So I have rituals that I've developed. I write a lot of, you know, a lot of them are in the book. A lot of three step processes on the way to live and.

So share maybe one of those three step processes.

Okay, okay. Well, one of them I call the EEDs. The, they're emotional energy diffusers. And it's a three step process. And I do three step processes because for three reasons. They're easy to remember, they're easy to implement, and then they're easy to build upon. And when you make small subtle changes in your life, then you build the momentum, the positive momentum. And that's what moves you forward in a positive direction, which creates lasting, permanent change. So an EEG is an emotional energy diffuser. So fear, anxiety, worry, regret, blame, shame, any of those things. And it's three steps, and it's breathe, think, praise. And it sounds so simple, but here it is. The first thing you need to do in any situation is to stop for a minute and take a breath, because we're always one breath. Like, don't you feel better right now?

I do. It is. I think we do need to take a little breath.

Ready?

I see my camera team here. Tony, Jared. Take a deep breath.

You instantly feel better. You get a sense of relief from doing that. So it definitely diffuses the situation a little bit. And then the next part is to think. And what you want to think is, this has nothing to do with me. This has nothing to do with me. Because it doesn't always about the other person or the circumstances. It's. It's. We all live in our own world. We live in one big world, but we all have our own worlds that we live in. And so we don't know what's going on with the other person. They could be having a really bad day. Something could have happened to them. We don't know. So.

So don't own it.

Don't take it on.

Right.

It's like a little barrier around you. So you think, this has nothing to do with me. And instantly that makes you feel better.

Yeah.

And then the final part is to praise that person in your mind. I say, this is the best they have. This is all they're capable of today. I don't know what's going on with them. And this is the best they have to offer today. So it lets them off the hook, too. So it ties it. It's just. It's such a powerful technique, and it runs through my mind all the time. And it's so effective in the way I communicate, the way I'm talking, if.

Someone you're talking to is rude to you or if something didn't turn out the way that you had intended. Right.

And even the guy who cuts you off in front of you, you know, something that would make people react. I mean, think about that.

You talk to my husband, okay?

We'll work on him.

No, but I do like that. So breathe, think, praise.

Yes. Yes. And it works in so many scenarios, right? Yes.

So it's also just because when you blame or you get angry, you tense up. Right. And then you're actually. You're angry at them, but you're hurting yourself more totally.

Yes.

So.

And I also do three levels of forgiveness. Forgiveness starts with. Again, three. Three levels with yourself. Because we always are so hard on ourselves that even if something else Happened. Even in my situation, of course I blamed myself. There were definitely reasons to blame the other way, but I blamed myself worse. So forgive yourself and then forgive the person or the situation. And that doesn't negate what happened or let it go. It doesn't take them. Let them off the hook. But what it does is it releases its chokehold on you.

Yeah.

And then the third level is to forgive yourself again because it will bubble up again. You'll hear a song, or someone will say something, or something will happen, and you'll relive that moment and feel that again. And it's time to forgive yourself again.

Because it is a process. It's not like, oh, I'm going to forgive them. And then you move on and it's not there.

Right. And it's over and done with.

Yeah. So that's good that you. You just have to kind of re. Engage your thought around that to let it go, which, you know, I believe that it takes. You know, you have to step back and be the bigger person to forgive, but you're also giving yourself a gift so that you can move on with your life faster.

Totally. Yes. Let it go so you can move on.

Yeah. Oh, I love this. This is great. Now a lot of people, you know when you're in the thick of feeling awful like you were, and you're in the dark, and I've been there before and just those times where you just can't see that rainbow. Right, right. And just getting through the day sometimes in those instances. So what. What do you do when you're in those moments to be able to hang on and see that there. That you can transform your life like you have.

Right, right, right. Live in the moment. I'm all about living today, so know that this is a momentary experience that it will pass. Reach out for help for sure. Because no one does it alone. You know, we all need help. So reach out for support. I'm here for you. But, you know, if you don't have anyone in your life, find someone to help you. And then one mantra that goes through my head is that everything is for my highest, greatest good. I know that there's a reason for this. I may not know the reason now, but I will know the reason at some point. And that on the other side of this is something that's so much better. So. And I believe in the higher sort, whatever you believe in, you know, God, Jesus, spirit, whatever, that everything is conspiring for our purpose. It really is for our benefit.

Yeah. No, it's such a Good reminder, too, because, you know, when you're in it, you're not able to go, oh, well, this is serving my higher purpose. When you're in it, like, no, no.

The last thing you want to be doing is affirmations when you're in the middle.

But, I mean, every time you look back and you're like, okay, I get why that didn't work out. I get why that fell apart, because I was supposed to then get this, which is better. Right. You know, so we've all been there, I mean, in business and in our personal life, relationships. So, in fact, let's talk about relationships for just a second.

Okay.

We like talking about love. And that brings me to that point, because, you know, I was great in business. I was terrible in relationships for the same thing. I didn't get a good example. Great parents. They just didn't work it out well together. And so I really didn't know what the heck I was doing. I say my chooser was broken.

Yeah.

So, I mean, the bad guys, but I just wasn't choosing the right fit. And then I would get so frustrated because it was like, round peg, square hole and trying to make it work. Right, right. And so I remember times just being in pain and heartbreak is the worst. But, you know, now I'm with the most wonderful man who I completely manifested, and I look back and say, now I understand. Like, I had to go through that.

Yes.

You know?

Yes. Yeah. Well, similar. Similar journey. I manifested the most incredible relationship in my life. And you are, you know, part of the reason why, you know, your guidance, too. But I, you know, I set intentions and. And on my birthday, I looked back and I did a recap of the entire year and wrote down everything that I was grateful for, every accomplishment, big and small. And then I said, this has been the best year of my life. I want the next year to be even better than this year. So what do I want that to look like? So I wrote a list of about 20 intentions of things that I wanted to happen, and I wrote, I intend to meet my man by October 1st. And I picked that date because that's the anniversary of my mom passing away. So it's a special day. And, Allison, the floodgates opened. Men were coming out of the woodworks everywhere. I was going on a million dates, and I just said yes to them because I knew I was ready. I was at that place. I set the intention, but I was really there. And I would go out on these dates, and I knew they weren't the one, but I would go home and say, well, I appreciated this, that and the other about him. And I would only focus on the good qualities and, and then move on. And the list kept getting bigger and bigger of the qualities that I liked. So on October 1st, at 10 o' clock at night, I heard from my first love, my high school sweetheart, who I hadn't heard from in years. He was divorced as well. And he said, I read your book and I'm coming to town and I would really like to see you.

Oh my gosh. And I love the fact that he read your books.

He read my book.

He knew about you. And he obviously is somebody that into working on himself.

Yes, very much so.

So, wow. Yes, he like he made the cutoff by two hours.

He did. But that is the power of manifestation and setting intentions. I picked the day and he showed up on that day.

Well, you know, I picked the day too for my husband. And it's just so funny. He actually came eight days early.

Yeah.

Yeah. So came on my birthday.

August 4th.

Yeah.

Yes.

I said I was gonna meet him on August 12th. This stuff really works. It really does. So. So I love that. So what are share some manifestation techniques for love in your life.

Okay.

For love.

Well, the first thing I'll say is if you are looking for love or you're in a relationship, that's not what you want it to be. Of course, course. Look within and start loving yourself first. And when I say that, love yourself. Perfectly imperfect. None of us are perfect and we're so hard on ourselves and we focus on the things that we don't like about ourselves instead of focusing on the gifts that we do like. So I write a lot of processes in here, but I talk about this especially with my clients who are looking for it. And I put implement practices. But one good one that really works well is take out a piece of paper and write down the names of every person you've ever been in a relationship with and then write down the qualities that you liked or loved about them. You know, reignite those feelings about it and just only look at those. So do that part of the list first. Then write a list underneath that of men who are either living or gone who you admire and you admire them in their loving relationship. So there's qualities about them. So throwing one out there. So Stedman Graham, you know, he's a man who's successful in his own right and he's comfortable enough with himself to be with a woman like Oprah Winfrey. That's a great quality. So George Clooney, based on his looks. He's philanthropic. Yeah.

I got George on my lips.

Yeah.

But he's having twins now.

But go as deep as you want to go. Make that list as long as you can. But really what happens is you start getting into the feeling of the emotion of it, and you're creating it vibrationally, and that's very magnetic.

So I love that also, because you're kind of. You're putting out there the qualities that you admire. Like, you're being specific on those things. Yeah, that's super powerful.

Yeah, that's powerful.

I remember when I was really working on manifesting my husband, and I was seeing this one guy, and I really liked him, but he just wasn't the committed type. You know, he wasn't really ready for a relationship. So I remember say. I remember going, universe, you almost got it right. Like, I like this, this, this, and this. But we're just missing this one little thing.

Yeah.

You know, so I think it's almost like you got to be put your order in. You do, you know, you got to be specific. So you talk about how you. You really feel like you can manifest anything in your life.

Yes.

So tell me about that.

I'm living proof of it. I mean, I am such a powerful manifestor. I. I set the intention. I put it out there, I say it out loud, and I believe it's going to happen when it's going. Supposed to happen, and I let it go. And when you live like that, things just show up in your life. I mean.

I mean, here you were in. You were, like, down in the dump. Yes. Now you're a successful businesswoman. Right, Right. You're helping people make these incredible transitions. You're. You're an author. You also have this kitchen product.

Yes.

You know.

Yeah.

Another sort of category where you have this. You've invented this product. This. You want to show that. And this is a.

This is a kitchen tool that used for decorating foods and beverages with your sugars and spices. It's really fun. It makes everything look great.

The only kitchen tool that I own. It's true. But my point is. So you got to check out the Spifter is here. You have completely turned your life upside down. You've taken control of it, and. And now you're going after your own dreams and helping other people with that, too.

Right, Right. Well, part of the process to manifest anything is to. I'm a huge believer in meditation. Meditation is really what transformed my life on this path and this journey, incorporating that into my Life was so powerful because when you shut down your mind, it allows other things to come in, other thoughts, dreams, desires. And then you speak about things as your wants and your desires as if you expect them to happen. Don't put any limits on it. And you, you know, we're only limited by our limiting beliefs. So the process of manifestation is to just, you know, it's what Wayne Dyer used to say instead of, you know, I'll believe it when I see it. It's, you know, when you change the way you look at things, the things that you look at change. So whatever you can see in your mind, you can create. And that's the art of manifestation. Knowing that.

And you don't have to wait to see it. You actually create it in your mind first.

Yes.

Right. I always tell people, just, it's like the unseen. It's making the unseen or the invisible seen.

Right. So. So I was living in Chicago. All of this was happening with my marriage and my personal life. I had invented the spifter. I was working in television sales. I was single mom raising the twins, had all of this stuff going on. And as they were approaching getting ready to graduate, I said, you know what? I really want to move back to California. I want to live in San Diego. I want to live on a cliff overlooking the ocean so I can see the sunset every night. And I didn't know how that was going to happen, but I just made a decision. And that's another thing. It's a decision. So their last day of high school was my last day in corporate America. And I said, I'm leaping. I've leaped before. The net is always there. And I have this desire to be in California. I have this desire to launch. I have today. I created this product, and I want to take this further. I have. All my kids are going off to college. If I don't do this now, when am I going to do it? So I just make you make it happen. Don't wait for the right time, because the circumstances will never be perfect. You just have to make them perfect.

You have to make it the right time, which is usually at all of the wrong times.

Right, Right. So I found a place, and I found it in February. I moved in August. And it was this place at the beach. And it sat empty for the six months until I got there. And I lived at the beach overlooking the ocean. I know. And it was a furnished vacation rental. Yeah. It was waiting for me. And it was. It was magical.

So what is out there waiting for you? What is it that you want to manifest in your business, your career, your relationship, your personal life, your self care, your health.

Right, right.

So all of that is waiting for you. You don't need a reason. You don't need, you know, New Year's. You don't need Mother's Day. And this applies to you guys too. It's not just for women. Right, Right, right. So, you know, we all can recreate our life every single day. And I love the message with you with I have today because it's right now. This is our life right now.

Yeah. On the website I have today dot com, which I'm sure we'll talk about. I also have, you know, it all was born from a poem that I wrote and it's. And it's really about intentional living.

Why don't you read the poem?

Really? Okay.

Yeah.

Okay. I have today to love and be loved. I have today to be the best I can be. I have today to pray and meditate. I have today to learn and grow. I have today to be open to the possibilities. I have today to give and share. I have today to be gentle and kind. I have today to start fresh and new. I have today to nurture my spirit, mind and body. I have today to watch my dreams come true. I have today to see things with new eyes. I have today to live abundantly and fearlessly. I have today to be more beautiful than yesterday. I have today. Thank you, God for today. And that's the mantra of my life really.

So you need to get this book right and they can they go to your website?

They can. Or Amazon. It's on Amazon.

So I have to I have today dot com. Right. And then do you have something that you want to.

I do. I would love to give you my gift. I created a 30 day challenge on how to have a better today.

Oh my goodness.

It is fabulous. You go to my website I have today and there's an opt in right there. So just give me your name and email address and then for the next 30 days you're going to get a two to three minute video with that day's time tip. It's different tools, techniques, rituals to create awareness, to live more intentionally more purposeful and fulfilled and happy. It's. Yeah. Wow.

So within 30 days your life can change. So I challenge you to take the challenge with Diane. And so what is, what's next for you?

What's next for me? We are relaunching our webinar. My webinar is called Love it. Thank it. Bring it with Diane Foerster. And every week we do a live webinar with great topics. And it's ongoing, so you can pick it up at any time. I'm doing that. And then I'm also creating Intentional Living Institute. So I'm writing the curriculum to do certification so that others can teach my methodology and reach out to the masses.

So.

Wow.

So some of you that are ready to kind of follow the path that Diane has taken, she's going to give you the opportunity to do that. So all you have to do is go to ihavetoday.com you opt in for the 30 day challenge, and then you'll learn about the webinars and all those things that are going on.

Yeah.

Well, this is so great. It's been really uplifting for me, too. And I think wherever you're at, doesn't matter. I mean, even if things are all good in your life, you have to remind yourself, Right. That what's most important, sometimes we just have to stop and, like, really be present and take it all in and be grateful.

Right.

You know, there's so much you're breathing, like, be grateful you're breathing. And we're here, too.

I think 35,000 people just took their last breath as we just took a breath. I mean, that's the statistics. It's crazy. Wow. Yeah.

My goodness. So we are blessed. You are blessed, and I am blessed to have you and my life and Diane. And thank you for being here with us on Ally and you every Wednesday at 4 o' clock Pacific. Don't miss it. And we bring you the best strategies for business and life. So get out there, elevate yourself, because you are worth it. Bye, everybody.