Why Self-Worth Will Be Your Biggest Revenue Stream (ALLANA PRATT)

Welcome to Allie and you'd the business success and lifestyle show. My name is Alison Maslin. My friends call me Allie. I'm a serial entrepreneur and I help business owners grow their business and have a fantastic life. Now today we have a very special guest. Alana Pratt is an intimacy expert. She is an author of three books. She's an advocate to end sexual violence. She is a coach to celebrities. A graduate to Columbia University, she inspires women and men to find love and love themselves fully. And she has an amazing business we're going to learn all about. So, Alana, thank you for joining me.

Thank you for having me. I love being here in San Diego and you are so beautiful. Like you the what you teach with the business, you can tell that your lifestyle works because you're not tired looking. You seem very calm and radiant. And I think that inner glow can only happen when your foundation of your life is working well.

Thank you.

So you must walk your talk well.

Thank you. I do love what I do. I feel very blessed. So I'm really excited to hear about all the things you're doing and I know that you are an expert for women on body image, on self esteem, on love, and you've built a global business around this. So before we get into that business part, can you just share with me and our viewers the backstory, how this all came about for you?

Yes. And I'll just add, I work with men too, but that wasn't the plan in the beginning. And the backstory, which I hope is okay. It's not rated R, but it's certainly not pg. Is that all right?

That's fine.

Okay. So the truth is, back When I was 19 or 20, I'm from Canada and I wasn't happy in college and I quit and I hopped on my uncle Phil's 18 wheeler semi and I headed from Canada down to LA to be a dancer. And I was talented enough because I'd been a dancer since a little girl, but I didn't have a visa. And so I moved to Japan and I started modeling there and, and doing all sorts of being a spokesperson. But I also started dancing and my first contract, I'm like, they pay you much to be a dancer. This is, this is like a hobby. But when I got there, Alison, there was no top to the costume, just bottoms. And I'm like, oh, crap, this is a topless show. No wonder they were paying me so much. But it was at the Four Seasons, very posh hotel, and I thought, no one's gonna know. So out I go on stage and I felt like a piece of meat. I felt so dirty and wrong, and the way that the gentlemen were looking made me feel even worse. However, on the other side of the stage, all the girls from France or Australia or places where the body isn't shamed, like in North America, they had no issue whatsoever. And all the men on their side of the stage were almost like bowing in gratitude to the goddess. And I'm like, what is going on here? Because we're doing the same steps. And so I went backstage and I told the truth to these women. You know, what, what's going on? They're like, oh, you are a work of art. You are not a piece of meat. And I went, oh. So I'm in charge of how people perceive me. So as we think inside, so we are responded to outside. So day two, I get out there for the show and I breathe in what feels like a lot of judgment, which is actually an ancient practice that the monks do, breathing in the pain and suffering of the world, exhaling love and compassion. And so I was doing this very ancient practice as a woman on the stage with no top on, this great costume, and I went, thank you for noticing. I am a goddess. I am a work of art. This is a divine temple. And all the men in the audience, like, stood up and started to, like, bow. And I'm like, I'm in of all this. And so I started to really. Not that I knew this was going to be my career later, but as I began to, you know, backpack around Asia and then go to New York and go to school, I realized that it's our perception of our bodies that, that people are now going to treat us like this. So a lot of times when we're abused or used or treated like this piece of meat. Check in with your thoughts. How do you think about this beautiful divine temple? And you will get a much different response from the world. And because sexual energy, life force energy, chi comes not just through the mind, but through the body. If there's a lot of shame happening inside, if you're shut down, you can't be alive with creative energy for your business, right? So it's very connected.

So what you're saying is what you're feeling about yourself internally is what you're projecting out there, and that's what you're going to get back.

Thoughts, feelings and emotions are running the show. And if you live from the chin up and you have a lot of judgment, you are not going to one love yourself. You're not Going to be able to attract clients because you're going to be feeling needy and not enough, which pushes them away. So this idea of really coming home to your body and receiving the energy of the universe to co create with you and allow you to be magnetic to men, to women, it happens for men and women, it's the exact same thing. Also allows you to receive clients with ease, receive money with ease, even receive health with ease. Because if you're hating your body, isn't it interesting that a lot of people also get sick? Just ease, right?

Yes, exactly. And so tell me about the business. You know, when was the evolvement for you to begin coaching and helping other people with all the issues of body image and loving themselves?

Yes. Intimacy, relationships, the whole thing. I had a really good run with investing in property and I didn't really want to work and I had all this success and I got married to husband number one and it didn't work out. And then husband number two arrived and my mother died and I was pregnant and I lost the house, I lost my mom, I lost the marriage. And it was just me and this little baby. And I thought, okay, I've got to work, I've got to figure this out. And I had no idea. I was an art history major and I started to create this business with this skill that I had. People would always tell me things they never told anybody else. There was this safety being with me because I'd gone through my own releasing shame and loving all the, the dark parts inside of me. Right. I was at peace with me. So people came to me and I thought, okay, I'm going to start this. But I have to be totally honest, I had no clue what I was doing. No business background whatsoever. And I just became a coach to a lot of workshops that I attended. Then a head coach, then the head coach of the coaches. And I thought, okay, this is, this is my gift. And then one day when I was being interviewed by Lisa Gibbons on her radio show and she was going to go into Dancing with the Stars and she was really scared to be 50. You know, my 50 year old size for 52 million people, like that would be, you know, a lot for a lot of us. And so she goes, would you, would you support me through that? It would be my honor. So she was able to make Dancing with the Stars not be about doing it right, not being about looking good. But what about the experience and the adventure of being alive? What about our sensuality being something that's a gift that can also have safety and Discernment within us. What if I just inspired all women to live fully? And I'm like, that's it. That's why we're gonna do this, right?

And you know, I would imagine carrying that kind of energy out onto the dance floor, people would. That's what they're gonna pick up about here.

She got inspired to do fearless at 50. We had this big birthday party at her house. You know, she was really. It was a milestone for her to go, is 50 the end or is 50 the beginning of something else? Incredible. So it was very inspiring to work with her. And I said, okay, I guess I'm in. Guess I'm in business.

Yes. And so. And how did you know that you could make it as a successful CEO? Or did you.

No, did not know. Did not know. I was so insecure in the beginning. I mean, I was being quite the victim, really. Motherless mom and ex husband was mean and lost the house. And I had a really good sob story and I didn't do the work. I was honestly quite ashamed to let every. To not. Or to let people know. I didn't know what I was doing because I was so successful in all these other ways. I'd had all these properties and made all this money and I'd somehow invested it successfully. But I really didn't know even how to balance a checkbook, to be really honest with you. And so I did a lot of shining people on until it was like, okay, you got to figure this out. And what I learned in my business, intimacy into me. I see right? When we look inside, who do we see? Oh, I'm ashamed of her. Don't let anybody know about her. You know, let's all just pretend and I'll be competitive with you and doesn't work. It's gonna blow up in your face at some point.

Right?

So a lot of my business is being real with my community. That I am an amazing world class coach and these are the areas that I struggle in. And I'm not willing to be ashamed of myself anymore. And I'm not willing to judge myself anymore. And thus I don't judge others. And that gives them permission to stop judging themselves.

Right?

Which then allows you to get out of the spinning mind, down into your heart, down into your gut, down into your wisdom. And that's a place of true. Not power over, but like, like potency, that real feminine or masculine power that makes people go that it factor when they walk in a room, right. That's inside out, right.

I like that into me. I See, that's really great. And it's refreshing too, because you're saying I was really good at this and there were all these parts of me that I had no idea what I was doing.

Totally.

And when you were. I think we all struggle with that at some degree, because really, in business and for myself, I've had many businesses and many of them I stepped into. I had no idea what I was doing. Right. But to me, that's, I mean, how are you going to know what you're doing really, if you haven't done it before? That's how you learn is by doing.

Yes, I agree.

But obviously you have been a success.

Yes.

And so can you just share, you know, our viewers? Some are just starting businesses, some have been in business for a while.

Yes.

What have been some of the secrets of your success?

A couple. First is the willingness to look where you don't want to look. I, as I said before, I didn't even know how to balance a checkbook. So numbers. La la la la la. Let's just go off and do what I need to do. But I wasn't willing to really sit in the fire and figure it out. So whatever area of your business that you are resisting, that is what you're giving your power away. So go there. Maybe it's being on camera. You're like, no, no, no, no, no. We'll take some courses and get comfortable speaking to people. And maybe it's a bit about money. Like, for me, I had to really figure out the ins and outs of how to run a business and profit and loss and all those things that as an art history major, I didn't want to have to deal with. So that's one big secret. Any area in your business, just like any area inside, into me, I see. Into the business, I see. Same idea. Go to where you're most uncomfortable because that's where most of your power is hidden. And then the business will come more into this harmony and balance and everything will start to flow with a lot more ease. The second thing I would say has really supported me in business is my capacity to receive. Like you could do all the right things, you can say all the right things, but if you can't actually receive success, if you can't actually receive money, if you can't actually receive. I'm. I am good enough. I am good enough. If you can't do that, all that doing and doing isn't going to do anything right. Just keep pushing it away. Like you're this merry go round spinning this Fast. Like, can you be still and receive and know that, yeah, there's areas that you're not perfect and you're really good at this.

Right. And own that.

Own it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that people have a really hard time receiving.

Yes.

You know, even a compliment. So if someone says to you, alana, you look absolutely beautiful today. You know, sometimes our tendency is to think of what is a. What's a compliment I need to give back.

Right.

You know, to being uncomfortable, just to take that in and say thank you. You know, I feel really beautiful today.

Yeah. When we into me, I see and we're empty and we're looking for validation from a lover or from, I got another client. I must be enough, or I've got this much money in my bank account or I have got this small of an ass or whatever it is when it's all externally driven to be enough. The foundation is. You're empty. And you need to keep looking, keep getting. And even once you get it, you don't want to lose it. Right? So you're never enough. It's never full. And from that place, when you receive, I need a compliment, but, oh, no, if I give you my power and, oh, I need to be tit for tat and keep score, right. It can be from the boardroom to the bedroom in that department. And yet when you do the work, to come inside and feel the fullness from inside and put your arm around that little part of you that's ashamed and feel scared, like I'm scared all the time. I fail all the time, and I get back up again because I don't judge myself anymore for being stupid or getting it wrong. I'm like, hey, girl, you did your best. Slap that ass. Let's get back up again. We can do it. And I don't need another's approval to approve of myself. I don't need external circumstances anymore to feel safe inside. I don't need a man or a client or so many people on my Facebook page. Then I'm enough, right? To feel like I deserve to be here, that I matter. So all of that fullness inside is really important work as a business owner.

Well, it's. It's challenging enough to run a business.

Yes.

And then have all that monkey mind on top of it, too.

You're. You know, you're gonna suffer.

Exactly. Exactly. Now you say that, and I got this from your website, but what do I say? Yeah, you didn't know that you said this, but you said that the only one in the way of having exactly what you want in your life. The only person in the way is you.

Totally.

So tell us about that great quote.

I said, well, it's really what we're talking about here. We think other people stop us. And I was so in that lie. My ex husband was stopping me. It was the death of my mother that stopped me. I'm a single mom. That's stopping me. Oh, I studied art history, not business. That's stopping me. It was all these excuses and an unwillingness to take full responsible responsibility for my life and be okay. That I fail regularly and I succeed regularly. Like, the path to success, in my opinion is failure after failure. A little bit of feedback, you know, and until we get there, and we never really get there. Once we're there, there's another creative idea and another adventure to risk. And so the only one in the way is you. Like when you fail or when you are a little off the mark or even when you do well, can you say good job or when you fell down, you're like, well, it wasn't the left, it was the right. Let's try it again.

Well, the biggest wins come after the best failures. I think that it almost should be a requirement that we fail before we win because then we're clear on what we need to do differently next time.

Totally.

And I also feel it builds character and it builds resilience because you're like, you know what, I got through this before, I can do this again.

Totally. My dad says it puts hair on your chest, you know.

Yeah. Well, that's good. That's good for the guys that I want hair on my chest. But. But I get his point. It's symbolic. Exactly. So what do you feel? Well, let's talk about success. You know, many people would love to have a successful coaching business.

Sure.

And so, you know, what would you say to them? You know, for those that have a gift.

Yes.

And they, you know, you, you tend to attract people to you all because you're so good at helping them do this, but you're not getting paid for it.

Right.

Where is that step up that you know, now this is a business?

Well, it's again, that willingness to receive money and a willingness to put your shingle up and a willingness to have that one liner, like what is it that you do? Get clear about that and then set up the receptivity, set up where you're going to receive it. Get the bank account, get the website, get whatever it is. Act as if put your time in your day. And this is When I'm working with clients, and in the beginning, there won't be any clients, but at least you can go on Facebook. You can talk to some prospective clients. You can still use that time every day as a step to receive. And then at one point, you will be full, and that time will be filled with clients. So then you have to be more organized. Okay, this is when I'm going to prospect call. This is when I'm going to work with clients, and this is where I'm going to take care of myself. If you don't put that receptivity out there, it can't come in. You can't just keep trying and hoping. And it's that wanting energy that actually pushes everything away. You have to say, this is what's happening. I am having this. Let go of all the wanting and think about having. Like, if you want to have something, like a piece of something to eat, what does it feel like to want the food as opposed to, oh, that's in my belly now. That feels really good in my belly. Right? You're having it, right? Oh, I want that man. I want that relationship. What does it feel like to have him or her in my life? It's a very different energy. This energy versus. So you must do that on the inside, and then all your actions on the outside must reflect that willingness to have.

Right. Not that desperate energy, because you're gonna repel people. But I do know that, and I think. Well, I think men also. But when people get into business, when you have a natural gift and you're used to helping people, making that shift to asking for money, yes, people have a very hard time with that. But the truth is, is that you cannot run a business if you're not profitable completely. And you can only help people so many people until you burn out. So what was that shift for you?

It's very similar to dating, to be quite honest. You know, a willingness to ask for the date or a willing, you know, a willingness to talk about it. So for me to ask for money, it. Just open your mouth and you say, and what is your credit card? And I'm ready for your credit card. Please, you know, like, start saying yes.

What card will you be using today?

What card will you be using today? Yeah, just practice that and go through the discomfort. Not on the phone with them, but practice with a coach. Go to a class like yours. Practice that until you can actually receive that. It's truly practice with the mouth, but also practice in your body of receiving it. And in the beginning, quite often we have given away our gift because it's so easy. It's our natural thing to all of our friends. And so there will be a pulling away of that, giving it away for free. Like, would you have sex with everybody because they want to have sex with you? No. Right. So this is your gift. This is your body. This is your talent in your business. Like, you will value me and there will be a certain amount of dates or we will have exclusivity or what you're going to choose to actually be intimate with somebody. Well, that intimate relationship in business is really no different. So there's an energetic that occurs if you're giving this much energy, but you're only asking this, you will be depleted and crash at some point. So charge what feels in your body. Like maybe a little nervous, but yeah, I'm worth that.

Right.

And then ask for it.

What credit card and the value that you're offering. Right. Because you're changing live.

Oh, it's priceless. It's. You can't put a price really on the. On changing somebody's life forever and yet put a price on it. And then when you start closing a lot of people at that rate with ease, then you raise your price. And every time it's going to be a little more uncomfortable. But that's just because you're receiving more energy. So you'll be even more full to give more energy. Just let yourself continue to be uncomfortable and get really comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Right.

If you are comfortable in your business, you're probably not living fully.

You're probably not. It's time to take it to the next level.

Totally. Totally. And know that that's a gift because there's something in you that wants to be birthed. And birth is a little uncomfortable.

Yeah, slightly. I do remember that. That's one. One discomfort you never forget. So now the Dalai Lama said that women of the Western world will save the planet. And this gets back to more of the work that you're doing. And what are your thoughts about that? You know, the power of women to make an impact in the world because, you know, there's more women entrepreneurs now than ever.

Cool.

Which I love.

Yes. Your business. That works very well for your business and good for the planet. So here's what I see. I'm really glad we got the vote. I'm glad they're not cutting our heads off and burning us at the stake very much anymore. And yet a lot of that is having us leave our bodies and go into more of a masculine doing mode. Which is important and is required. And yet there has been a lack of valuing of our softness, valuing of our allowance and receptivity. And so this idea of women saving the world, to me, it's more like even the feminine energy within a man or within a woman to value the balance in ourselves and to. That's another part of, like, owning your worth. It's not owning your worth. It's. Yeah, it's the receiving. It's that humble, quiet confidence. And when a woman can go into there and feel that fullness and that quiet confidence, she's not competitive anymore with other women. We can be sisters now. We can work together. And when a woman is in that quiet confidence, she literally awakens the nobility in a man. And that's what I never knew I could do until I started coaching men. I had no idea I was meant to coach men. But when I had my first interview, what came out of my mouth, Allie, was, I'm so sorry for every time any woman in your life has emasculated you. And it was because we left our heart and we were spinning in our mind, and, damn it, it was hard because I didn't have the vote, and it was hard because you were paid. I was paid less than you were for the very same job. Like, there's a lot of validated frustration going on. But if we live in that and have to be, you know, proud of that to the point of emasculating a man, we push them away, but we also push away all of ourselves down here. And so the apology came through as a kind of an explanation of why we did it. We were scared, and I'm sorry. It really hurt. And for women to come back down into their heart also allows the man to come back down into his heart or within the man to come down into his own feminine energy, the more receptive of energy. So that's the balance I think the planet really requires, is this.

So the strength and the power is in the balance of the male and the feminine within the. Within the woman, within the woman, or.

Within the man or within the relationship. Right. And so that's what I think the Dalai Lama is talking about, that if we women can do that and be sisters with each other and awaken the nobility and men and learn to receive, there's a balance that can occur from the bedroom to the boardroom to the businesses, to families to parenting to everything to how we treat our planet. All of it.

Right.

Yeah.

Right. That's beautiful. Now, what are you. With all the work that you're doing and truly changing lives and running this business and being a mom. What are you most proud of?

It's interesting. I never thought I would tell you this, but this is what I'm present to, forgiving my ex husband. That's actually what I'm most proud of. Because I could have been really bitter, a bitter bitch. I really could have. I have every right to be. He's mean, and yet the forgiveness of him and the forgiveness of me that I married him, and the forgiveness of me that I didn't know what I was doing in the beginning with my business, like, all of that forgiveness, if I was able to forgive the worst, right, I can forgive everything. And when we forgive, we no longer give our power away and we can receive. So that's like, trickled down all through my life that nobody has power over me, and I'm not a victim and I'm worthy of being here. And I might not be perfect, nobody is. But this is the one thing I do really, really well. This is where I'm a gift and I'm magic, and this is where I need to definitely hire somebody to help.

Me out here, right?

But that just intimacy with myself. You get to be intimate with the universe. You get to really feel the universe supporting you. You're not alone. And you also get to experience communion with your body. Like, I get to be in here and feel joy and feel peace and feel enough and feel safe and feel approved of that when you walk out in the world like that. And my catalyst was the forgiveness. Every day is, oh, so grateful. So grateful to be alive.

That's really beautiful. I think forgiveness, it sounds like a little thing, but it's so hard for people to let go. And if you have anger going out towards someone else, you're really. It's coming back to you. It will, you know, because you're the only one that. That is truly hurting. So being able to let that go and just, you know, feel free and really honor the choices that you make. I mean, you know, I am remarried to. In fact, today I was sharing with you that my. My husband and I met. We had our first date ten years ago today.

High five.

Yeah. So that's a huge milestone. And I'm not married to my daughter's father anymore, but I also, you know, even though that wasn't the right relationship for me, I really honor that we were supposed to come together and have this beautiful daughter.

That was gross.

It took maturity for me to get to that place to really. To look at it that way and it is very freeing.

And there's a connection to the forgiveness personally, the forgiveness of anything going on in your body with, with how you have success in your business. Yes, everybody I work with personally in their relationships, that does improve. But. Oh, I just got a promotion. Oh, I just booked all these new clients. Because you're now ready to live fully and receive fully.

Right? You've made room. Yeah, made room.

Well said.

Well, this has been so much fun. So share with everybody what is next for you, you know what? Or some things that are some ways that people can get in touch with you. But you know, what are some adventures you have looking ahead?

Well, first I'll just say if you all go to my site, I would love you to receive a gift from me. Alanapratt.com tips are some very juicy audios for women and for men. But I'd like everybody to download both because the more men know about women and the more women know about men, it goes a lot better. So I just wanted to give you all that to start with. For me personally, the next adventure is my next book and I've always self published in the past, you know, done the audiobook, the ebook, etc. And I'm ready to take it larger to a publisher and really enjoy all that. I love to be on camera. I love to be interviewing. And so I've hid honestly Ali for all those years. I've been through a lot of custody battles over the last decade and they're over. And I was very afraid and being attacked all the time, that was part of the forgiveness that I referred to. So I'm like, okay, it's time to be free. Everything I did before showed up in court and I was made wrong for all of that because I talk about sex and all the rest of that and I'm like, you know what, I'm not going to allow judgment to stop me anymore. You can think what you want to think about me and I'm ready to contribute and give again, which requires showing up and showing up in the face of judgment and saying thank you for your opinion. And I'm still going to love and shine and give. So that's what I'm up to some more of that. And then lastly, I love intimately connecting with people who haven't had the safety to tell that one thing to anybody and have it be just dissolved into nothing so you can come home. So I would like to invite anybody that really feels a resonance. Not all of you, just a few of you, maybe like three is probably All I've got time for because I'm very grateful to be really busy.

You better act fast.

Yeah. If you just email my manager, manageralanaprat.com and say you saw like Ali sent me, I will offer three of you a no charge complimentary strategy session. Normally, they're a lot of money because I really value the transformation. Even in one conversation I can create. But I just in case somebody's like, oh, I'm ready. I'm ready for that. She feels safe. I think I can tell her, I would love to be that for you. And if you've watched Ali all these different interviews and you're like, I think I'm ready to go to Ali's course now, I really encourage you to say yes because, wow, you are amazing. So please take an action whichever way you're gonna take an action with me, with Ali, or the little tip, or just any action. Just be willing to show up and let go of people's opinions stopping you anymore and give your gifts.

Wow. I don't know if she could have said it any better. So you're gonna have a very free day today because you're letting all that go and you just get to show up and shine in the world. So thank you for joining us. This has been so much fun. And you weigh about a thousand pounds less because you've let go of all this guilt and shame and so forth, and now it's time to step up and own your gifts and go out there and grow your business. Thank you for joining us today on Ally and you'd. And we'll see you soon. Till next time.

Sam.