In this video, Coach Ambereen explains how pervasive negative self‑talk—research shows that roughly 90% of the 80,000 thoughts we have each day are negative—undermines our well‑being. She argues that the antidote is empathy, first directed toward ourselves and then outward to family members. She outlines practical steps for self‑compassion, such as granting oneself grace and allowing failure, and demonstrates how to apply empathy with teenagers by asking open‑ended questions about their stressors and listening without judgment. Ambereen also addresses the often‑tricky in‑law dynamic, urging viewers to set a clear intention to stay present even when conversations feel uncomfortable, thereby making partners and in‑laws feel seen and heard. Throughout, she positions herself as a mindset and connection coach for families and invites viewers to reach out for further guidance. The core message is that cultivating empathy—starting with oneself—can transform negative thought patterns and improve relational dynamics across the family spectrum.
Chapters
Empathy is one of the most underrated skills that every single parent, spouse, and team member ought to have. Let's dive in, shall we? Empathy is that key skill that allows you to see someone else's life through their lens, not our lens. What do I mean when I say that? When we can actually see and understand what somebody else is going through away from our own narratives, it changes the lens completely as to how we present— practice presence, understanding, and even compassion. Now, if I'm talking to you about presence and being empathetic Let's start with ourselves first and foremost. You know who's your toughest critic in the world? You. Me. We are our toughest critics in the world. We hardly ever give ourselves a pass to be— forget compassion. Most of the chatter in our minds, this is proven by research, 90% of what we think about every single day, everything that you think about Every day, 90% of it is negative. We as human beings have about 80,000 thoughts a day, and most of them are recurring. The saddest part is 90% are negative. So where is your compassion? How are you going to apply empathy to yourself? I know it sounds like a bizarre idea, but stay with me. I'm going to help you figure this out, okay? Empathy. To tell yourself, you know what, I'm gonna give myself grace. I'm going to give myself kindness. I'm going to let myself say it's okay to fail. All of that is wrapped up with compassion, our ability to be kind to ourselves. The second topic of discussion I want to dive with you in is about understanding. When your child is having a tantrum— I've got 3 teenagers in the house, that's right, 3. Most of the time our house is operating from a place of peace, but every day I get doses, and you can relate. Your kid doesn't have to be a teenager to know that they're gonna have mood swings. They're gonna say things in a disrespectful way. They're not going to listen to you. They're going to want to be on the technology, the devices, more than you want them to. Okay, how do we bring empathy into the equation and actually understand them? The simplest way of doing this is to know that you were once there too. You were once there where your parents would ask you to do things, expect things of you, and you didn't do it. Sometimes it's as simple as asking them to understand what is going on. Ask them, hey, I had asked you to help me offload the dishwasher. It hasn't been done. What's going on? Oh, I had a lot of homework the other, you know, and I'm still trying to catch up with it. Hey, I had asked you to broom and it's been It's evening time now. What's going on there? I've got a test that I'm really worried about. I'm studying for that. Okay, Mom, is it okay if I do it tomorrow? Dad, can I take a rain check on this? In order for you to show up for them, you have to understand that they also are operating their own life, trying to figure themselves out. What happens though when the child isn't listening? So one of the biggest concerns that parents come to me with is they don't listen, they don't listen, they don't listen, they don't listen, or it's like they're always on their devices. I want to bring that over to you actually. I want to ask you, do you take time to listen to your kids with empathy? And that will give you the answer as to how they're operating. The last bit here that I want us to really dive into is presence. And this one is a little different. I want you to show up with presence in moments that seem difficult, especially when it comes to that in-law territory. Most of us are pretty good about being kind, generous, understanding, loving, and present with our spouses. However, sometimes when it comes to the in-law territory, it's not always the same way. What I want you to do is tell yourself, come up with an intention in your mind. I'm going to be present. Even if you want to zoom out, come right back in. I'm going to be present. Even if you don't listen to what they're saying, come back and say, I'm going to be present. Even you don't understand what they're talking about, come back to, I'm going to be present. This shows them that you care, that they matter, that they feel seen and they feel heard. And the more that you practice presence with your in-laws, the happier your partner will be and the happier your in-laws will be. Because at the end of the day, all of us just want to feel seen and heard. And if you can do that through a lens of empathy and presence with your in-laws, you're going to actually start to change the dynamics of that relationship. Not the first time you do it. It's going to take a lot of work to undo the past and bring forth new, healthier ways of conducting life. Hey, if you don't know who I am, my name is Coach Ambereen, and I do this for a living. I'm a mindset and connection coach for families, and my greatest joy in life is to unite your families. If you want to learn how, DM me or comment, I'm ready, and I would love to explore that with you. Until next time, sending you a ton of Umbergy and a whole lot of goodness.
