Family coach Ambereen Hameed explores the gap between what parents think and what they say, using a story about a father who stays calm when his son vents rudely after a game. She offers practical tools: role-modeling composure, setting respectful speaking rules, and using music or breathing to de-escalate.
All right, today is an honest one. Have you ever cussed your kiddo out in your mind? I know I'm not the only one, so if you have, you could totally relate to what I want to talk about today. But I really want you to zoom in, and I want you to reflect in this conversation to see what is going on. You're saying all the wrong words in the right space, right? Because Nobody hears it. Hey, if we've never met, my name is Ambereen, and as a family-driven coach, it is my intention to make your family development a priority by restructuring and reframing the mindset to really build deep, rich, meaningful connections. I said something to you which I think is so common. Many parents face this dilemma where they're so irritated, so frustrated with their kiddo that in their head they're saying a lot of things that they wouldn't be saying out loud. If you're that parent who wants a lovely, a loving, rich, respectful relationship in your home, Then this is going to really serve you really well. Now imagine today, all of a sudden, you have a new thing on your agenda. Your spouse was supposed to go and actually show up for your kiddo's game, and they text you midday saying, hey, I'm not able to go, can you please cover? As an amazing parent, you decide, all right, I will shift and I will change the whole schedule to make sure I can show up for my kiddo. So they feel like they're being seen, so they feel like they're being appreciated, so they feel like it matters to us as parents how their extracurricular activity goes. Now, this is exactly what one of my clients faced. Hey, I faced this myself too, so I was totally equipped to help him. So this father decides, all right, I'm gonna go ahead and make this happen. So he shuffles his whole schedule and he's driving 40 minutes to go to a game where potentially he doesn't even know if he's gonna actually see his son play. That's tough stuff, right? Now, as he's driving and trying to get to the school on time, he is literally waiting 4 to 5 minutes at every single stop sign to arrive there as soon as he can because he doesn't want to really miss the game. And he can feel his heart beating and he's racing and a little bit of anxiety, like, man, I really don't want to be that dad for my kid. When he arrives, they're literally kind of ending their game, so he gets the last glimpse. Now, when he sees his son, his son looks at him with this death scare, like, really, Dad? Really? Really? And the dad decides to just stay completely calm and relaxed as his son is having like a full-on like eye-rolling moment, just being extremely rude and excruciatingly painful in a public setting. Now as a father, he reminds himself, just stay calm, stay cool. He's going through a moment, his team just lost, and he feels the irritation of his son. So in his mind, he stays calm. And then his son just starts to be like this disrespectful person, like, when did you get here? Did you even watch me play? Does it even matter to you? What were you doing? Why did you get here so late? All these things while the father is being and doing his best to keep his cool. Why? Because he wants to set that example. You see, as As parents, one of the beautiful things that coaching really reminds us of is how much control we have over our role model mindset. If you're not role modeling the way with kindness and generosity, then you're really not going to show up to be the best parents. So he keeps his cool, kiddo sits in the car and he's like bashing his teammates and, God, I hate my team. They all suck so bad. I can't believe we lost this one and you didn't even get to see me play. What did you see me play? What was the score when you got there? All these questions. And the dad gives his son space to just vent, but the venting is not stopping. There's a lot of finger-pointing happening. Can you relate? If you can, I want you to comment down below, finger-pointing. Yeah, tough stuff, right? As parents, we're trying to keep this calm and our kids aren't getting it. And the saddest thing is you weren't supposed to show up. Your wife was supposed to show up, but she got held back by work. So now you're getting all of this and you didn't really sign up for it. So you finally recognize and realize, well, nothing is changing. So you change the tone in the car as you're driving your kiddo back home and you say, hey, I understand you needed space to vent and I've given you that, but this is no way of speaking. If you have something to say, if you're frustrated, take a beat. And when you can collect the calm and the cool and the respect that I expect from you, Then start speaking to me, or we can stay quiet. And he tells me, "Amberine, the whole ride back, forty minutes, we're quiet." Great. You're never going to regret something you didn't say. But when the dad was cussing out his son in his head, it's a better place to keep it there. And you're also frustrated, irritated by your wife because. She was supposed to show up and now you have your own built-in frustration, so imagine the energy of that car. So he asked himself this one question, what advice would my coach give me right now? And he decided, okay, I'm gonna put on a little bit of music, turn the windows down, and just enjoy this moment as the calm and the quiet That I need it. If this sounds remotely like your home, and I know it's so hard to raise kids and to have a family and to be married to somebody who you once appreciated, adored, and loved, but as time goes on, all of that starts to shift and life becomes more like a chore than it does a blessing. If you really want to bring back that blessing in your life, I really encourage you So check out the link in my description and just talk to my AI. Talk to that companion of mine who's been fully trained and optimized to serve you, your home, your family. Why? Because I truly believe that we can all heal from the past to create a beautiful, happy, rich life, and it all begins with creating harmony in your home. As you level up with— by creating healthy boundaries, And even a healthy mindset. I pray this has served you. If it has, go ahead, comment down below and let me know what was your biggest takeaway. Until next time, sending you a ton of umbrage and a whole lot of goodness.
