Celebrate the win

Foreign so happy to see you here today. I hope that you are having a remarkable day that is filled with just radiance and goodness for those of you who are here. We know we have this tradition in this, these sessions that every single week we come here and we set an intention right off the bat. One of the first things that we do here is we find out, why are you here? What do you want to get accomplished? What do you want to do? How do you want to show up today? And it's one of the most important things is just this concept of being intentional. Because when you and I are intentional, we can actually get things done, can actually start to change ourselves. We can work towards a better version of us. Okay? And I'm super excited that you are here. So go ahead, drop in the chat. What is that intention? What is that? You know, chat, comment, whatever you want to call it. What's that intention that you're going to have for today? How will the best version of you show up starting now, or hopefully you've already been doing it. You've been crushing the game. So thank you so much for joining. As we do every single week, we move on from our intentions once we've set those intentions and we really get into this concept of let's share the wins. What do you mean by wins, Ambreen? Wins are these small moments that happen every day, every week, every month where you feel like, wow, I just did that. A feel good moment. A time where you either stopped yourself from doing something or you really pushed yourself to grow anything. It could just even be a moment where you just sat there, you were like, wow, this, this just feels really, really amazing. And I'm so happy that I could show up this way. All right, today's topic is one that I'm actually going to say that I leverage from my biggest mentor in the world. His name is Brendan Burchard, and he talks about these concepts of our dreams. And I thought, how can I apply this concept of dreams into a unit like family and relationships? So today we're going to broadly speak about how. How to cultivate your dream family. Okay, I know it sounds like a big pitch, like, I'm brain. You're kidding me. It's not possible. I'm telling you it is possible. Why? Because you've allowed yourself and give yourself the permission to actually dream. And I think that's the most amazing thing about these sessions is you can come here when you're willing to do the work, you'll find out the next best version of You. It's already arrived. It needs no permission. Why? Because you're sitting here and really doing the work. For those of you who do not know who I am, sorry about that stumble. My name is Coach Ambrain, and I show up here every single week trying to add value not only into your life, but into mine as well. So that way we can realize our own potential. We can really cheer each other on with positivity and shift our mindset to be one that better serves you, me, and our loved ones, right? Because at the end of the day, for me, it's all about relationships. It's all about how are you pouring into those relationships and the. The importance that they actually hold in our lives, which sometimes we don't really give them that importance. Right. Okay. So as we keep continuing on, I want to remind yourself, and also me, that these are what we call working sessions. Okay? Working sessions means my expectation is there's a pen, paper, or there's a device that you're taking notes on. And these notes are. It's the work that you're doing, the reflection that you're going through, the actual pieces that are going to move your life towards that dream of yours. Okay? Because cultivating a dream family isn't something that just happens sporadically. The word cultivate means you're really molding it, sculpting it, pouring into it, adding value in it. Time, effort, energy, you name it. That's how we cultivate. Okay? And on the top of the hour, the one of the first things that we do here to make sure that we are fully engaged, present and ready for this, we have got to do our energy boost. Okay? Energy boost is a simple activity that gives you this ability to shift your energy and to be one that really streamlines and makes you become more aware. Okay? It's very simple. A 30 seconds drill. You got this. I got this. Let's do this. So you're gonna breathe in and out through your nose just 20 times as you're breathing in and out. If you're able to bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, jump, light it up. If you can't, just move side to side. All good. And then what you wanna do is you wanna really make sure that you are cheering yourself on. And when I say cheering yourself on, I mean you gotta put a smile on your face and you have got to clap for the fact that you are here showing up, doing the work. And that, I think, is one of the most important things that you have to appreciate about yourself. Okay? So that could be a win for the week. Right. I just showed up today. That's a great. All right, so go ahead. If you are sitting down, push that chair back if you're standing up. Brilliant. Great. In and out, through our nose, 20 times. Jumping, smiling, clapping. Here we go. And as those 20 breaths come to an end, engage with us. Let us know. How does that make you feel? Because at the end of the day, one of the most important things that I'm trying to do here is, is give you the tools that you need to use this simple 30 second activity on a day when you're feeling down on a moment where you don't have enough energy to really take it, sculpt it, package it, and boom, say, okay, I got it. Because we believe in this concept of energy, something that's available readily to us. I believe that everything in this world is just energy bouncing off different vibrations, different frequencies. And if we can summon the energy that we need to really pour into our dreams, brilliant. All right. I am what we call a chpc, a certified High performance coach. What do we do? We are these amazing coaches who help people and ourselves succeed beyond standard norms, consistently over the long haul while maintaining positive well being and amazing relationships. Those two are the biggest indicators of how successful your life will be when you can have relationships. They're just amazing. They pour into you and they really make you reach your own potential. And this well being, mind, body, soul, everything kind of unites all of it to make us become our best selves. Okay, so hope you're feeling more engaged, you're feeling more joyful and lively. I hope that you're really going to work hard today to tap into your best life. Okay? And as always, I think it's important to remind everybody what is coaching, because people think coaching is therapy and therapy is coaching. It's very different. Coaching is just a, basically an influence process where you influence me through your conversations, through your messages, through your comments, and in real life, you know, through the actual process of coaching where it leads to discovery, decision making, performance improvements, and just holistically better living. And who doesn't want that? Like, who would not want to live in a life where you just got it all right? So that's what we're marching towards right here. So remember, the best way to talk to us is through that chat. Light it up. Tell us what you're thinking, tell us what you're writing down. Because this is something that I think is remarkable when it comes to social learning. You teach me something that I can teach you. You can teach somebody else and they might look at it in a very different way. And that's all we're trying to do here, build a community to say, I got you, you got me, let's keep going. Okay, so let's get into the topic of discussion. Cultivating your dream family is what I said. You're thinking about your dream family. Think about, where are you in this family? What's the role that you're playing in this family? How are you leading the charge of this family? The reason being is if you don't even know the role that you play, if I don't even know the role that I play in this family, how am I going to really accomplish this dream? Right. It's just a thought at that time. Until we make an intention to really commit to something, it's really not going to get any momentum, it's not going to move forward. And there's this beautiful concept of when you want to live your dream life, especially when it comes to your family. There's so much work that we have to do, right? So if we already know if do all this work, why not accept it and embrace it? Or you could be somebody that can just live a mediocre life and say, you know what, I'm fine with the way my family is right now. I don't really care too much. I don't want to have a greater relationship with my partner. I don't want to pour more love into my kids. I don't want to be mindful of their health and their well being. I just kind of want to be like, yeah, I'm just like a passenger on this train and everybody's riding together in this box. But if you're showing up here, I already know you're not that person. I know you're coming here committed and ready to make an impact, to bring some change, to really understand that there's no limit to how much you can do. There's a limit to the dreams that you can have for yourself and for your family, for your loved ones. So I want you to write down, really I want you to write this stuff down, is when you're thinking about your dream family, what are some ways that you're engaging with your family? Are you showing up excited for that? Are you showing up enthusiastic? Are you really somebody who understands that happiness is a choice? And on those days when our partners are irritating us and trying to drain our energy and just not do everything that we're telling them not to do or really frustrating us, but there's something about them that is offbeat. Are you giving them the control of your happiness, or are you saying, no, I'm gonna take it, because this happiness, it's so sacred that I don't give this away to anybody. You know, in our home, we talk about this concept of who has control of your happiness. I'll ask the kids. Often. They'll come home from school, they'll be mad about someone that someone. Something did in school. They'll be too mad about a teacher that's teaching them something. Be frustrated with their brothers, their sisters, it doesn't matter. You name it. It all comes right. It all comes here. So then I asked, like, so are you giving away your control, the control of your happiness to somebody else? And very quickly, they'll be like, yeah, okay, well, do you want to take the control back? And it's a simple concept. Like, literally, it's a simple question that we ask that could pour back into us and say, yeah, I can make that choice. I can make the choice that I want. My family, my dream family, we're just happy people. We really love being in a state of gratitude. And gratitude is this beautiful concept where gratitude is like one of the number one predictors of how much joy you're going to have. And for those of you who don't really understand what I'm saying with gratitude is basically saying counting your blessings, those small things that you have the ability to look up and look at the sky. I'm saying small, it's huge. But in this moment, my focus is only the sky. That's a. You know, that's one thing our abilities to listen, not only to listen, but to listen to understand our families. Listen. To understand our families is very different than just listening, because listening, you're really not engaged, you're really not present. It's kind of doesn't come into the year, forget come in through the year, go out through the other year. It doesn't even come in through the year because we're just so mundane and we're so occupied in something else that it doesn't really make sense to be here fully engaged right now, focused with your family. Is that something you want to do? When you think about your dream family? Does your family have an essence of presence? Are you here with your daughter, with your son, with your husband, your wife, your mother, your father, your grandfather, your friends? Are you here in this moment where nothing else exists except for them? So you can feel what they're saying, so you can hear what they're saying, and so you can really engage with the energy that you're giving them, the space that you're holding for them, sometimes they may need a lift up. So you're like. You're like the hype person, right? Like I am. You're the high person. Yeah, you got this. Or sometimes you just need you to really wipe their tears. Are you present in that relationship? You see, I really believe that our dreams are accomplishable. They are so possible. I don't care if your dream is a number. I don't care if it's a success metric. I don't care if it's you being your best physical self. It doesn't matter what your dream is. But you have to make sure that this moment that we have right now, it will never repeat itself. So when you can pour into your own dreams by being engaged, like, think about that. Think about a day or time where maybe all of you went to the park, all of you went shopping together, all of you went to a vacation together. Doesn't matter where you went as a family, you went somewhere. And the intention of that was to really become more connected, become more united. What didn't really happen, not because you didn't want it to. It didn't happen because your mind was preoccupied with something else. It was a checklist, a priority list. Some chaos, some stress, some difficulties. Something else was in your head that kind of overtook this vacation, this moment. So if all of us can really become more present, you'll start to see that you've really become more confident in your family. I know it sounds bizarre. Believe it or not, when I am disengaged from my kiddos, I feel like I'm not a confident leader. I feel like I'm not the confident ex mom that I need to be. I feel like I'm not pouring in the way that I need to. I can't really stand as tall as I want, feeling proud because I wasn't there. I missed those moments. Are you and I going to miss them? Yeah, definitely. No one's perfect. Have grace at that time when you want to show up as your best self. And that day, your best self is 20%. Take it. Pat yourself on the back. Say, look at you, you showed up that 80% that remains. That's just grace you're pouring into yourself. Okay? In order for your dreams to come true as a family, in order for you to actually sculpt and cultivate your dream family, you have got. You have got to be compassionate, loving, kind to yourself. Why? Because your thoughts, your thoughts can take you towards your dreams. Or they can pull you away from your dreams. You see, there's so much research that's been done, so many data points that people connect. And they say that an average human thinks about 70 to 80,000 thoughts in a day. Can you imagine that? 70 to 80,000 thoughts in A DAY. The sad reality is 70 to 80% of those thoughts are negative. Those thoughts are reoccurring from yesterday and the past, they're not new. In order for us to march towards our dream families, create something new, cultivate it, sculpt it, really master and design it. You have got to leave the past behind with grace, compassion, love and respect and really charge forward for what you want in life. And it's the simple shift and pivot that can really allow us to open the doors to limitless possibilities. How does it all happen? I'm somebody who really is an energy gazer. If that's a real thing, I don't know. But I feel when my energy is off, when I am not in a state where I feel, feel my best, where I am uplifted and enjoy and enlightened and just vibrant and radiant and just pouring my. Pouring into myself like, girl, you, you got this. Like, yeah. If I'm not in stepping into that, then I really don't think I can march towards my dreams. Because I truly believe that our energy, it's sacred for me. I believe energy is one of my most sacred superpowers. And I have learned just this year alone that one of my biggest jobs in this world is to protect my energy. And when I can protect my energy and I can be the leader of my family and I can be intentional in the way that I want to be in this family, the role that I play in the dream of this family, becoming their best, becoming their happiest, becoming their most disciplined, becoming their most healthy, you name it, whatever that dream is for you, that energy piece is such a big portion of it, especially for me. So what I want to ask you is now that I've given you some, some like, just conversation points about what does it really mean to live into your dream family? Can you share with me what that dream is? Can you share with that us, that dream that we are going to find so sacred that we're going to really cheer you on, we're going to champion you, and we're going to pray for you and we're going to want that dream for you, for you, your, your family, your husband, your wife, your mom, your dad, your kids, what, however you define your family, share that with Us in the comments, when you let us know of these things, it's like you've, you're almost in my belief is you trust to manifest this because now it's written down. And now that you have this dream of your family, I want you to ask yourself, are you moving towards that dream? Are you somebody who's moving towards that dream? Okay, how are you going to move towards that dream, Umbreen? Like, what do you mean move towards that dream? It's a, it's a big dream. Like my dream for my family is huge. What are you talking about? Umbreen, I want you to define, and this is one of the things I want to ask you to do is I want you to. On that sheet of paper, I want you to define your family's dream emotion. What are, what is one way or maybe three ways that you are going to start to feel as a unit as my hope is the most strongest, irreplaceable, authentic relationship in your life. My prayer, not my hope. Still working on that. What is, what are those emotions that come up? All those feelings that you can say and a great way of maybe looking at this was really does help is if there was another family describing your family, what three words would you want them to use to say? Oh yeah, the Smith family. The Han family. The Wu family. This is, these are the words I would use to describe that family. These three words come to mind. Oh yeah, The Khan family. They're helpful, they're courageous and they're disciplined. Okay. The Smith family. They're adventurous, they're joyful and they're spontaneous. Great. The Wu family. They're peaceful, they're loving and they are generous. What are those three words you would want someone to use to describe your family? So these three words are kind of like the feeling foundations of how you want your family to show up. What is the dream you have for this family? Okay. And then I want you to actually expand out the previous point and say what are three dreams that you have for your family? So before I talked about what is your dream family? Right? What does that feel? What is that encompassing? Do you. Are you somebody who doesn't even have a spouse right now? Okay, well what do you want in that partner? Someone you guys are wanting kids maybe and what do you, what do you want? Boys, girls? Like what is that dream? Or maybe somebody who don't want kids. That's great. You want pets? Write them down. Whatever it is, I don't really care. What are three dreams that you have for your family? I Want to be able to travel the world in service with my family. Like, that's one of the biggest things that I want for us. And the reason for that is because I want my kids and hopefully my partner to explore the cultures and the people of the world, to really soak in the fact that we are so blessed and so privileged to. To have the basic necessities that other people do not yet they still live in joy. Can you imagine that? What is that for you? What are three dreams that you have for your family? And maybe you're thinking, well, these are my dreams, are my partner's dreams, and my dreams family. Great. They don't have to be a partner's dreams for your family. These are your dreams. They don't have to be son's dreams for your family. These are your dreams. Your job is to make these dreams possible, not theirs. That's why you're holding these dreams. And for most of us, we kind of know our family, right? So, yeah, you can be spontaneous like the Smith family. Do something obnoxious that you want to do, and that's great, totally fine, do it. No problem. You want to make sure that it is really, really, really important you think about this concept of what those dreams are. When you're able to see those dreams and you're able to really tap into these dreams and pour into them. I want you to define, how are you. How are you treating one another? How are you treating each other as a family? What's that dream for you? Okay, write that down. Comment below. Great. How do you as a family, show up for each other? Are you helpful? Are you courageous? Do you hold space? What is it that, what is that you want in that dream family? How do you want to show for each other, for each other? This is just. No one else really has to know this. No one has to gauge this is you as a family, that unit that you're defining, that's so, so, so, so strong and irreplaceable. The other thing is, how do you feel around each other in your dream family? How are you feeling around each other? Are you comfortable? Are you relaxed? Are you kind? Are you thoughtful? What is that feeling for you? And now comes a real work. What is one thing you need to do starting today to make this dream family possible? Because we come here in coaching, and coaching is, it's, it's work. That's why it's different. You gotta step in here knowing this is a training. This is you really defining and working towards what it is that you want. What Is that one thing you need to do starting today? Yep, starting today. That is going to move you towards sculpting and cultivating this dream family of yours. And when you and I can really understand that, when we can be here, ready, available, we know that, yes, we can do that for our family. And if that really just means that something even small, like I just need to take five deep breaths before coming home from work, I just need 10 minutes after work to just unwind, it doesn't matter what that is. You interject whatever that one thing is you're going to start doing today to really sculpt and cultivate this, this amazing, beautiful, loving, kind, courageous, a just brilliant family for you. Okay? And in reality, as you've been doing this work, you know, we're kind of 25 plus minutes in. What have you seen already changed about yourself? Right? What has already changed about the person that you are becoming? What has already changed about the way that you're feeling? Because you'll see that there's a shift that's going to happen when you start to march closer towards these dreams. The second topic I want to get into is this essence of doubt. So the formula that I alluded to a little bit earlier is your dreams have to be greater than doubt plus distraction plus discouragement. So these are basically the three thieves. Doubt, distraction and discrimination are three thieves of our dreams. They will take away and snatch away our dreams for our family, for our loved ones. So let's dive in a little bit. Let's talk about doubt. Okay? What is doubt? It's this feeling or this emotion that whatever you want really can't happen. It's kind of not possible. It's. It's too big, it's too hard, it's too expensive. You interject whatever you need to in here. Doubt is this feeling that this will not happen. So for me, doubt is a lack of faith and belief. And this is not belief and faith in like in something external, actually. Lack of doubt, lack of faith and belief in whatever it is that you want. Like you're just not crystal clear about the fact that you will get it or you will do it or you will go there. So as we do here every single week, Tawakkal coaching is literally that. Tawakkal means having faith, having belief in something greater than. And I truly have belief and faith in the next, greatest, best version of you, the one you're stepping into right now as we're speaking. That is so important for me that I want you to know if there, if you're feeling down and about. You need to know that I'm there with you, cheering you on, because I have full faith and belief, I have tawakal that you will get there. Just gotta put in the work, just gotta go a little bit more. Just push yourself a little, and in that everything will change. Okay, I want you to write down what are some doubts that you have about your family becoming the family that you just want to design, that dream family? What are some doubts that are coming up for you when you think about your family and the dreams that you're holding for them? So I can talk a little bit about me while I give you the space to do the work right now. So make sure on that piece of paper on your device, you're taking these notes. You're really writing down. What are some doubts that I have about cultivating my dream family? I shared with you that my one of my dreams for my family. So I want to travel the world in service. Okay? That's a huge, huge, huge dream. First of all, traveling is expensive. So the doubt comes, will you be financially equipped to do it? Traveling requires a lot of commitment. Will my kids want to do this with me? Do I want to do this with me? Will it get boring? Will it get hard? Will it be too difficult? Will it be more challenging than I imagined it to be? Those are doubts that I have. Another doubt could be that, what if I'm saying this now, but my kids don't really want to do it, but if they're like, yeah, ma, this is your dream. You do you. We don't need to come along with you on this journey, okay? All those doubts may be valid or they may just be thoughts that are taking up space. So remember, your dreams have to be bigger than the doubts, the distractions and the discouragement. Is my dream family big? Bigger than all those? Yeah. Are the dreams for my family bigger than my doubts, my distractions and my. And the discouragement that I may feel? Oh, yeah. Because it's in this pursuit of service that I'm looking at really understanding how I can really pour back in, how I can eliminate these doubts that I have from my own self, Right? So as you're writing these doubts down, I want you to also write down to reverse these doubts, right? Because we come here and we show up and we're trying our best to make sure that we are really, really, really working on this mindset. You know, one of the biggest things that's going to hold you back is your mind, right? And the job of Your brain is just that. It's just to protect you. So if anything seems uncomfortable, it's kind of say, oh, don't do that. Don't do that. Like, that's. That's too much. That's. That's too much. That's. That's too hard. That's not gonna ever work out. When you've already written down some doubts that you have for accomplishing and attaining your dream family that you're working towards right now in this very moment, which I am so grateful to you for just showing up here and really spending some time on your Friday to pour back into yourself. Now, when these doubts are coming up, I want you to think about what is one belief that you can create to reverse or change this doubt? What's that? One thing I would tell your mind to do when these doubts come up is that belief. I still believe in my dreams. I will make it happen. This moment is hard, but I'm stronger than this. I have Tawakkal. I have faith that this dream is possible. So write that down. That one belief is a reminder to you that when. When the doubt comes that. Oh, no. Like, you're reaching for the stars and the sky, girl, just simmer down. Simmer down. Your dream should just be that you buy a house and you live in a house with your kids and that's it. Okay? Like, why do you want to stretch yourself? What are we talking about? That's it. That's the dream. That's how you do it. No, no, not really. Because this one belief that I've just put in my head, and I'm really encouraging every single one of you that's here today to write that dream down, to write that belief down. Because doubt will show up. There's no doubt about it. No pun intended. But that's the way it flow today, okay? Those moments will come. You've got to have that belief available to you at any given moment to say, oh, yeah, this is the belief that I say to myself when that doubt comes in, when I'm cultivating my dream family, okay? How will you step into all that you're meant to be for yourself in that moment when that belief is really working towards you, pulling you to the next level, telling you that this very moment, it's just a moment, let it pass, right? Like the. Like the grades say, this too shall pass. And that could be a moment of like, high energy, high vibrancy, high joy. That too shall pass. In a moment where there is doubt, that too shall pass. So how will you Allow yourself to step into all that you're meant to be, first and foremost for you, your family. How are you going to do that? How are you going to give yourself permission to be bigger than your doubt? And if you can really start to harness and understand how you will do that, you're already tapping into the next best version of you. And it excites me. I get so happy when I see people grow and like the shifts in their lives. It really just, it lights me up. Okay, so keep sharing, keep commenting, keep pouring into us so that way we can hold your. Your dreams and your doubts. We can hold those sacred and say, you know what? Yeah, you have that doubt. So do I. Now you're building, we're all building this community together, saying, we do believe in the greatness that lives within us because it's literally limitless. All right, let's get into point number three. The third one is distractions. Distractions. What are distractions? Distractions are the things that get in the way of accomplishing our goals, our priorities, and our dreams. Okay, so somebody asked me yesterday, it was beautiful. It said, what is one of the distractions that you're facing on brain? And I said, I thought about it and then I laughed in my head. And then I laughed out loud, said, my kids. So my kids, as a family driven high performance coach, I am telling you, one of my biggest distractions in life are my kids. Yeah, they are. Do I love my distraction? Yes. But in that moment, do I love being distracted? No. Like, I just want to get something done and it's not happening. Okay, so when the distractions are. There are so many. Okay, so I want you to write down what are some daily distractions that you have? What are some things that are preventing you from really accomplishing, Accomplishing and stepping into the best version of you for your family? What are some distractions that you can already feel that are going to come through for you as you're cultivating your dream family? So write them down. We all know one of the biggest distractions in the world is exactly how I'm talking to you. Technology. Right? Like, technology is such a beautiful tool, but with any tool, you can use it or you can abuse it. One of the biggest distractions in our lives nowadays, which is something that research shows us and quite often a lot of thought leaders talk about, is our devices, our phones, our iPads. Right, the apps. Those are taking away about an average of four hours per day. The TVs as well. I forgot about those. Yeah, I don't watch Much tv. So I really don't remember. So they are taking away four hours. Four hours a day. Okay? That's 28 hours per week. That's like bigger than a part time job. And that's average. The other people who are watching, five hours a week, that's already a full time job. What are we doing to hold our time so, so, so close to our hearts? We're honoring our time in such a way where in this moment, my distraction is. I am stronger than my distraction. My daughter sitting here in front of me, making funky faces, literally telling myself, I need some attention, right? Being a distraction to me is more important than that dream or her. So I'll give you a really cute, quick example that comes to mind right now is today in the morning. My eldest had asked me yesterday, mama, can you drop me off to school? I don't drop him off often because it's. School's a little bit further. And the other thing I think in my head is like, well, your bus and our leaving time is just 15 minutes apart. Like, bro, get your stuff together. 15 minutes later, hop out the door. So he had asked me yesterday, and I said, great, yes, I'll drop you off. It is Friday. That could be a treat. So he's already excited and happy about it. And as we're leaving, I'm looking at the clock. I went to go drop off my other two to the bus stop, come back, and I'm like, oh, God, like, this kitchen needs some love, right? And now I'm gauging. I'm like, how much love do I give it? When do I have to leave to make sure he's on time? Then I have to go to the gym, so I don't want to come back home. I got to pack for that stuff. And I haven't done my journal. I. And then like this boom, boom. It's just like, it's. It's happening, right? Like the whole is happening. And now I'm like, okay, st. And now I'm like, okay, let. Let's just clean the kitchen. Let's just clean this right now. So when I come home, I have to worry about it. Nor would I feel bad leaving a dirty kitchen because then my mom will probably do it. I don't want her to do it. So I am sitting over there getting everything they put, like the stuff. So the kiddos usually will load the dishwasher, you know, in the morning when they're, you know, when they're done eating. Today we had clean dishes. So they were like, oh, I'm not even going to touch it. I'm going to go there. So we've got stacked plates and all this stuff and some glasses here and there. And I'm just like in this zone. And one of my beautiful moments is I love to wash dishes. For me it's meditative. I know it sounds hilarious and bizarre, but for me, washing dishes, I literally like, I Zen myself. And, and so my son, now my eldest, who was the only one home, he's like asking me questions, saying something and answer one thing, second thing, it's like this, it's like this ping pong right back and forth. And I was like, what is going on? Like, I need to prioritize the list in my head to make sure that I get all this stuff done, leave on time to drop off to school, then go to the gym and make sure. And. And then I'm like, hey bud. Hey bud. And he's like, yeah, Ma. I'm like, I'm. I'm really in my mind right now. I'm trying to focus a little bit. Want to stay quiet. Is that okay? And that was it. That's it. So for many of us, even if our children are our distractions, have you communicated that to them? Not that they're distractions, please don't do that. But have you communicated that, Hey, I just need a little bit of time to focus. I need some time to prioritize. I just need some, some quiet time. In our house is what we call it, quiet time. Is that something that you're doing to eliminate these distractions? Are you really putting away that device, putting on do not disturb, putting a different room, turning it off completely? Whatever your mojo is, it doesn't matter. Are you doing that to really pour into those relationships, especially when your family's around? Most Americans nowadays, this is a very sad stat that I have to say out loud is most American nowadays they don't eat dinner together as a family Growing up, there were no ifs, buts and boots in our family. Every single day we had dinner together. Every single weekend. We had three meals together. There was no like, oh, she has to go to choir practice or they have to. No, that's really great. Like, figure it out. And somehow it just always worked. It just always worked. We prioritized dinner and that conversation and that space and that interaction so much as a family. And that for that I literally have to commend my mom. I don't know how she did it. Working a full time job and taking care of my dad who was A very tough critic, right? Like, he was just like, I want this. It was a list. And then four daughters on top of that. She prepared dinner fresh every single day. And we made sure that we had dinner together as a family. When we had dinner together, that was it. Back then there were no phones. Yes, I know I'm aging my forever 21 year old self right here, right now. But we'll do it, no problem. For your sake, I'm willing to go that far too. So when you are sitting together as a family to really pour into that dream family, you've got to cultivate, right? You have to put effort and time into it. Are you present? Are you leaving away those distractions somewhere else when they cannot tap into you, where they cannot consume you and this prioritized time for your loved ones. I believe every single person in this world has 30 minutes of dedicated, devoted family time available. And if you're somebody who's alone, who's solo, you're like umbreon. Family, family, family. What do you. Everything that I have said to you right now can apply to you. How do you want to cultivate your dream life? How do you want to cultivate your dream self? How do you want to cultivate the best version of you? So later, when you're ready for a family, if you're ready for a family, you know, you know what you want, you know that the distractions have to go away. Do you spend time with yourself alone? Do you do that? Or are you always finding time to be on a device? Are you always finding time to do something that can take. Take away from this time right here, right now? Sometimes I honestly just believe we just need to pause. And when you pause, the distraction just kind of goes away. So what can you do? Write down what is one thing that you can do starting this week to manage your distraction, to show up better for your family, for your loved ones, for yourself? What's that one commitment that you're making starting right now? For every single week, you will do this. You will do this to make sure that you're not distracted. You will do this to make sure that your dreams, your family, they require that commitment from you, not that distraction version of you. All right, let's keep moving on. So the fourth thing I want to talk about is discouragement. Okay? So our dreams we talked about have to be bigger than our doubts, have to be bigger than our distractions, and they have got to be bigger than discouragement. Okay? Discouragement. Discouragement is this feeling of not wanting to do something, not Feeling like you have it in you to do it. And when we're discouraged, we're usually in a pretty low energy state, right? Like you're not going to find me like hyped up, excited and ready and say, oh, I'm so discouraged about giving this training today. This is just not going to happen. Right? Discouragement is when you're actually feeling down, you're feeling down about something. You're feeling like your emotions aren't on a high. Let's say that something happened, you're here, you are doing all this work, being fully charged, fully committed to cultivating the best family that you can be. And your partner does something bizarre like they go and they invest in a brand new car without consulting you. I know it's kind of a big thing, right? But yeah, I'm just, I'm just saying it very casually. They go and they're like, oh yeah, we're, I'm just gonna got impulsive, I want to buy the car. My dream car finally was able to blow. I got it. Now that may be discouraging for you because you might say, well all that money that we were saving was for the family vacation. Now we don't really have that. So now you have lost the courage to keep marching forth. And I think this word discouragement is such a fun word, right? Like without courage, discouragement. So when we have to level up for ourselves, for our loved ones, we have to rely on courage. And discouragement is this feeling where you're really sad. Sometimes we even feel hopeless. We are so unhappy. We're not aligned with our energy. I talked about this game of energy for me, that's how I know I'm feeling discouraged. My energy is just not in the right place. It's telling me, hey Ambreen. I call myself Ambu. Hey Ambu, something's wrong, something's off. What's going on? And that's that feeling of somebody looked at me in a bizarre way when I shared my dream for my family. Or somebody said to me, you know when they asked me about my dreams and I told them and they're like, well that's not possible. I don't, like I said, I'm bring to you, like just buy a house for your family and just live there and then die there, right? Like why do you have such like, you know, such ambitious dreams? Why? Because I just want to. Right? Like literally it's that because I'm on it. So when people tell you something, sometimes we're discouraged within our own selves. We discourage Ourselves. Because maybe we haven't made the momentum that we had, that we had once. Maybe we're not as committed, maybe we're not as disciplined. Maybe we're not feeling the day as much. So we get down on ourselves and we feel like there's nothing more that we can do, that this feeling is forever. But here we are again, quoting that exact same thing is, this too shall pass. This moment of sadness, this moment of hopeless loneliness. This too shall pass. How does it pass? I'm preen. Well, what I love to do is. Is gratitude. When I am in a state of discouragement, I start to count my blessings. If I'm really in a rut, I'll go for a walk and be like, oh, I'm so grateful for the bird. Look at the colors of the bird. So beautiful. I'm so grateful for the butterfly. The butterfly showed up like. I'm so grateful for the fact that I can see that there are leaves on a tree. They're just swaying. I get to see that. I'm so grateful. I get to look at these fluffy clouds that are in the sky right now. Like it's. It's magic in front of my eyes. I get to see this beautiful, beautiful sunrise. I get to feel the heat of the sun on my body. I get to move. I have legs. I have feet. I have a strong back. I'm so grateful for that. I'm so grateful for telling myself to get out of your rut by going on this walk. Or sometimes I can't walk or I just don't want to walk. Maybe I'm just too down and my energy is drained. I will grab my journal and I will just start writing things down. And one of the words that I love to use in the Arabic word, which is called alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah just basically means, God, I thank you for. Right? Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. And I'll start writing things down, like, the most random things. And they could be moments from yesterday that I was like, oh, I didn't really appreciate them as much. And then it really opens up so much, and you start to fill up your cup again. Fill your cup again. Yeah, that's the way you say it. So what is your habit? Because discouragement is going to happen. Discouragement is going to come. You and I can never, ever feel at, like, 150% all the time. It's just not going to happen. We're humans. Ebbs and flows, right? Like, it's gonna happen. What is that one habit, that one thing you're gonna do that is going to change the dynamics that's gonna really pull you out of discouragement. Are you relying on somebody? Are you calling a friend? Are you talking to your partner? Are you talking to your kids? Are you talking to your parents? Are you talking to a random stranger who you will never meet again because you don't want anyone else to know about this problem? Are you taking a nice long bath? Why did I say that? I don't do that often, so that is a great place to go. Are you somebody who is buying yourself a gift, treating yourself out? What are you doing? What is that? That. That one thing you're doing to actually get out of this place of feeling discouraged? I am not one here to tell you that it's easy. What I'm here to tell you and myself before you is that it's possible. It is possible, regardless of any state that you're in in your life. You know, there was a time in my life where it was hard, it was rough. It was a life that I wish nobody has to go through. And sadly, there are a lot of women just like me going through it. And I was able to get myself out. But other people may not be. But in that moment in time, I was so discouraged, I was so downed that I thought, this is the. This is what God wants from me. There's nothing more. Because this pattern just keeps repeating itself. It's like every time I tried, it doesn't. And it's like. But I'm here to tell you that's my past. This. That is not who I am anymore. That is not how I choose to show up anymore. That is not the dream that I have for my family anymore. But all of it started somewhere, right? It started with a thought. Started with a thought where I asked you, hey, what is your dream family? How do you want to show up for them? How do you want to feel? What do you want to expect from them? How do you want to live? And that dream should be so powerful and so strong that you realize doubt, distraction and discouragement. They're not going to take that dream down. That you have the might and the limitless power and this greatness inside of you. That tells me and that tells you that you are bigger than this. Bigger than this distraction. You're bigger than this distraction, this doubt. You're bigger than the discouragement. If you have added. If I've added any value to your life, please share this information with anybody. Right. You can go on my YouTube channel coach and brain. All of these trainings are available over there. You can pass them along and you can go on LinkedIn under tawakkal coaching our community. And all the trainings are there as well. Why am I doing all this work? Why am I here working with you on your family? Because it is my passion. I am a family driven, high performance coach. It is my passion to work with families, to work with a couple. First I work with them separately. I take them on this brilliant and beautiful high performance journey of six weeks where each partner is working with me but in separate settings. Then six weeks later, I unite them. And now it's called the companionship. When the both of you can pour back into each other and remember why you fell in love first, why you said yes to this relationship, why are you committed to that. There's no powerful gift that you can give to your loved ones, to your kids in a healthy relationship between two partners. And it is my intention when I leave this world. And it's my prayer that when I leave this world. I have really worked hard to bring families together where they're more engaged, more connected, more joyful and really living authentic lives where this unit, it's irreplaceable. Nothing can take that family down. Why? Because they have foundations. These foundations are on this concept of acceptance. Accepting our loved ones as they are in every walk of life when they're 10 to when they're 40. Doesn't matter why, because we're changing with them. We love them so much that we're going to do the work to accept them as they are. This concept of gratitude, one of my favorite things in the world is really knowing count your blessings, add more joy into your family and into this loving relationship. Because at the end of the day, that's all that people are going to remember on these relationships. And then the third thing is really sculpting and helping families identify what are those shared values that you live by, what are the pillars of your family, those foundations that are critical and key in making sure that not only are you irreplaceable right now, but you are for the rest of your life. So if you're somebody who's interested on that, taking that coaching journey with me, by all means reach out to me. I am Coach Ambrain across any and every social media network platform. And you can also email me at the coaching mail.com. that's just my, you know, my company name, mail.com. so if there's anybody who wants to really be courageous and show up for some life coaching. I am all game. I would love to serve you, all right? If not, please take really good care of yourself. Please remember that your dream family is something that I am cheering on alongside with you. You may not see me, but I sure hope that you can feel my my presence, my energy, my Umbergi alongside with you on those days where your dream of your family seems like it's not accomplishable because of doubt, distraction and discouragement. With that said, sending you a whole lot of umbrella until next week by.