Lead with Intentions: Jo Peters ~ Empowering Mothers

Welcome and abundant day to you. I pray that today you find moments that is filled with joy and blessings as you intentionally live into abundance. Welcome to Leaders Intentions. Here I am your coach, your friend who shows up here every single Tuesday at 12pm Eastern time ready to serve you. Truly an honor like you cannot imagine that you have. You're here in this moment with us giving us the most important commodity which is your time, while prioritizing what truly matters. That's you, your loved ones and your family. And the conversations from these topics and the people that I bring on will hopefully serve you and add a ton of value. Today of course is no different. Before we introduce our amazing guest, welcome to Spanglish World network and single TV channels 250 and 251. Please remember to download the single TV app on your respective stores. IOS, Android, the Chromecast, the Smart TV 2016 on forward, the full Roku lineup, the full Amazon. You get my drift, right? It's available everywhere, completely free to you so you can learn, grow and be amazing with us. As you're downloading this application, talk to us, let us know what's just amazing, what you're loving. However, what can we improve to make it a better experience for you? Because truly we are doing this only for you and want to serve you at the highest of level. This show as we know Lead with Intentions is that an expedition to allow us to discover the best of who who we are. And the individuals that I bring on here every single week are just that. They are ordinary people who have tapped into being extraordinary. And Joe Peters, my guest today, who is a unicorn coach, as you can see, it was an operational director and automation and change manager. However, she realized that something has to change in her life and she actually began to transform her life through coaching. And now she's called the Mom Fit. Joe creates a supportive community where moms can feel empowered, confident and free to live unapologetically. That word I honestly, I do love, I gotta say. Join us in celebrating Joe Joanne's commitment to helping moms design and create a beautiful and supportive environment with their healthy bodies, financial freedom and thriving relationships based on the unique traits. Because it is truly our authenticity which kind of creates the pathways into greatness. Welcome to the show, Jo.

Thank you so much for having me, Coach Amberine. I am super excited to be here with you and with your amazing community into how we can live with intention and lead with intention and love with intention and be present with intention. So I'm super excited to be here with you.

I'm sure for all of you tuning in and watching. First of all, thank you so very much, super honored and super grateful that you're giving us this time. And as you can already tell, right, Joe started talking, and you can hear that, okay, she's in the right place in the right time. So I want to go and get started with this very simple question that I asked most of my guests. Is, Joe, who are you and what is the work that you do? So.

I am a unicorn, but I was acting like a horse for many years. I'm an engineer and I worked for corporate for many years. And on those years, I get the brainwash and the illusion that in order to fit, in order to achieve, I had to be a regular unique, a regular horse like everybody else. And I start forgetting about my own magic and my own uniqueness. And then through 15 years of that, in 2019, I start, like you were saying at the beginning, feeling that something was missing, feeling that. That it was not okay not putting my purple lipstick because I was presenting to the CEO or that it was not okay to wear my unicorn short. And then I start my own remembering of that magical unicorn and uni uniqueness. And then from that life journey, I start helping other woman, other type a woman, other moms, to remember and. And emphasis on the remember. I'm not teaching you. I'm not showing you how to do it. I am not the one that knows the right answer and you don't. I'm helping you to remember that you are not a horse, you are a freaking unicorn. And then when each of those women remember that, then start living from that uniqueness, from their heart, their own magic that I believe call it however you want. God, universe, guides, higher self. I think that we all came to this life with a unique gift, unique magic that is needed in the world for us to evolve and get better. So it's about us to remembering. And then as a unicorn coach, I help women moms to remember that they are no horses, that they are freaking unicorns and embracing that and start living life unapologetically on their own terms, doing what work for them, not doing what they think they should do in order to fit.

Now, why is it so important, Joe, for women or for individuals to tap into their own magic, their own uniqueness, and become unicorns?

I'm going to be super blunt. And that is the society as it is was created on the spectrum of very specific personalities and on a very masculine patriarchal energy. So why that is important, because we are being taught and we are Being learned, since we are little, that we need to fit in. And in order to fit in, like I was telling you for myself, we forget our own, and we start trying to live our life like others do it. So we start getting, oh, this guru is telling me to make the plan this way. So I'm gonna do it like that. Oh, this guru is telling me that is this way. So we start moving almost like a sailboat with our destination going in the ocean. Like, following what worked for somebody else, because they are the expert. And what that does to us is. That is why we have so much, I believe, so much depression, so much mental issues. Why we have more and more people dying of burnout and quitting everything and being unhappy, because they are not working on what works for them. And they are not creating their life and their plans based on what works for them, but what works for others. So part of that is knowing ourselves. I work with the archetypes and knowing that each of us have different archetypes. So the thing that I always say to my clients and when I'm talking is one of my favorite cartoons from the newspapers is the one that is like a teacher in a desk and had a monkey and a fish and eagle and a lion, and then say, okay, if we measure them all by their ability to swim, only one will thrive and the other five will struggle. And that is in terms of showing it for education, for children. But it's the same for us as adults. If we all try to be successful in life, like Tony Robbins, and then that is the only way to succeed, then that is not the personality. Personality of all of us. So then we start doing the same concept. We start trying to live our life based on what we think is the right way. And that may not be the right way for us, because our personality is different, because we grow out in a different way, because we have different wounds, because we have different strengths. So that is why it's important to be able to.

Think what you're saying. You know, if I can kind of summarize, it is like every single one of us is uniquely us. We have our own stories. And when we try to live our lives in terms of other people's stories, we're going to fail. We're going to feel a sense of misalignment, right? Because that wasn't why we're put on this earth. Now, for. For those of us who are sitting here trying to figure out, what do you mean, Joe, know your archetypes. What does that even mean?

So archetypes Are and I know that there are so many options on this. These are personality traits. So what happened is the latest research are showing that since you are in the womb on the second trimester of pregnancy, so since your mom was pregnant with you with four months up to seven years of life is where the psychiatrist and the brain doctors are finding. That is the part where we get the egocentric part of the brain for survival. But and we need that because we need to survive. The side part of that is because we are in that phase. Everything that happened around us gets interiorized as is because of us is our fault. We created, we are the center of the universe. So everything is related and connected to us. And depending on those circumstances that you live in the first seven years and two trimesters of your life, you get so stronger traits and skills to survive. So you are saying, okay, depending on this, I don't know. For example, I got divorced parents and you didn't get divorced parents, but you got an alcoholic father. Your skills to survive married marriage, parents with an alcoholic are going to be different than mine to survive the having a split parents. And we do all that in the first seven years. And then that is how we keep recreating the world and reacting to the world and behaving and taking action. So they are divided in eight, mainly archetypes. And there are eight different types of personality where those are the ones that activate yourself. So one of the things that is unique about how I work versus a lot of other people is normally when you are thinking about archetypes or personality results or personality patterns, they concentrate on the highest 1, 2 or 3 and they say, oh, this is your personality, this is who you are, this is how you behave. I believe that we all have all personalities. We just have them on balance. So yes, the ones that help you the most to survive in the first seven year are the ones that are more visible and more present because their work for the last 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years is being keeping you safe. But the work that we need to do, in my opinion, is be aware of that, embrace that and based on that, take plans and create decisions and take action based on what worked for us from that perspective. And at the same time start paying attention and strengthening some of those other parts of us, some of those other archetypes that are not as strong, that are not as visible. So then we create a sounding board of directors. I always tell my clients, I want you to think like you are the CEO of your life. And then you have a board of directors with eight advisors that can help you with their expertise to run your business. That will be your life at the best, highest performance. And then coming from corporate, there will not be one CEO that will just get up and say, hey, board of director, board member, come and sit down in the CEO role and take all the shots and make all the decisions that never happened. But that is what we do sometimes with these archetypes. And that is part of our journey of claiming back our CEO role and say, I am the CEO, I am the one taking the decision and you are my support team. You are here to advise me. You are here to bring in your expertise, your knowledge, your suggestion. And then as a group, as a board, we are going to decide what is best for my life. That the equivalent in analogy will be my business. That will be how I'm living my life.

Well, I do want to pause for just a moment and recognize you've got, you know, for those of you who are, you know, who are listening and watching and contributing, we, you can chat with us, you know, via the app. And so we've got our first comment and that's just digs asking, hey, what's up? What's up is we're asking about how we can take back control of our life by claiming that we are the chief executive officers, we are the leaders, and we get to design a life that we want not live by, you know, by the, I guess the description or definition of other people. We're really understanding that our uniqueness is what makes us magical and amazing. Do want to hop in a little bit, you know, and kind of elaborate on that last, last comment that you made is we have all these different archetypes. You've got all the support group, what is something that you can share, you know, with our mothers and our parents. So that way we can start to decrease the amount of undoing that our children have to do, you know, by being better and more conscious parents. That one thing that they can start to do to make sure that the spectrum that they're on, you know, that is a little bit more aligned, it's more balanced and more centered.

I will say work on healing your inner child. I think that that is the, if you need to do one thing and then sometimes people are like, what I'm asking you how I can get better with my kids and you are telling me to work on myself. Yes, because a lot of what you are trying to undo with your children, a lot of what your children will have to undo when they are grown ups come from Your childhood wounds come from those first seven years of life where you didn't feel safe, you didn't feel love, you didn't feel hurt. So the one thing is start going backwards into knowing yourself, knowing your archetypes, knowing your wounds, knowing your childhood and then from there healing that. As soon as you start healing that as immediately you are going to show up as a parent different. And one thing that is very important because I work a lot with perfectionist type A parents and moms. We want to on to make sure that they our children don't have to undo anything. It is like oh I want to parents or my children don't need therapy when they are growing up. I want to call it out. It's not going to happen because you're a human. The only thing that you can do is do a better job that what happened to with your parents but your children still because remember what I told you before the first seven years children think that everything around them happened because of them. So even if you are constantly working on don't do things that they need to undo. You don't know when they are going to absorb something that happened around them as their fall or their connection and then get it. So. So the first one is it's not possible that your children get completely perfect and don't have any trauma and don't get any lesson. What we need to do is make sure that is as conscious as possible that we are healing in our journey. As they grow, we keep healing so we have that connection of that understanding of mommy. Not always is right. I make mistakes. That was not a good choice. I'm sorry. So it is probably tried to get out of the train that social media is being putting us into being a perfect mom or a perfect dad or having the perfect children. And then I start being very humble and saying I'm going to screw up and I'm going to lose my cool and I'm going to yell at my kids and I'm going to do things that my parents did that I swear that I will never do and I will feel like the worst mom in the world. And that is not a failure. As sooner as we start getting awareness of that then we can do. Probably what I think is the most important part is the repair is oh. I yell as soon as I say oh. Instead of saying oh, I'm the worst mom and my children are going to go to therapy and I become my mom and all that is oh hey honey, you know what? Just a few minutes ago I yell at You. And that was not okay. I'm sorry. That is not recent. That itself. It's creating skills on them to understand that they don't need to be perfect, that they can make mistakes. And the issue with mistakes is not the mistake, is how we repair it. How we realize that we did something that was, like, with the little children, a sad choice or not a good choice, and that we can change it at any time.

I love that. Well, you know, I would have to. It would be a disservice for me not to share this, but I heard this beautiful poem yesterday, and not only did I resonate and, you know, not only did I hit a, you know, chord in my heart where it was so evident, but it's like a beautiful blend of this conversation that we're having of healing ourselves. And it goes something like this. Your kids will figure out one day. We'll figure you out one day. They will see you are as human. You are human with flaws and traumas, grief that oozed out of you into their lives. Every tiny tear you try to hide, every rip in your heart, every ache in your soul. So heal for them. Heal for them because they deserve the best version of you. Heal so they don't have to heal from you. And when I heard this, I've never heard this poem before, it reminded me of exactly what you're talking about. The simplicity and the complexity of how our wounds, if not healed, transfer onto our kids. And we don't even know. Right? So that undoing for them becomes so much more. Because we haven't repaired the challenges of our own lives in the way that we've perceived our lives, even within the first seven years, and so on and so forth. So now I want to ask you, Joe, what does it mean for you to. To lead with intentions or to live an intentional life?

I think that. And before I answer that, I want to go back to your question. That is such a big hunting for all of us, and that is we didn't grow up knowing that our parents were not perfect. And that is one of the biggest ones for all of us, is we saw our moms and our dads as superheroes.

We.

We never saw them crying. We never. Like I'm telling you, in 41 years, I don't remember my parents apologizing to me, saying, hey, I'm sorry. It was always like, if. If anything were like, I'm sorry, but you were doing this. That we now know that the brain do not remember the first part of a phrase that had a. But after so I'm sorry, but you were not listening. It's not an apology. It's not because the brain of the child is just saying, oh, you were not listening. Will not process anything before the bot. So I think that is important that we change that. Like what you read that was so beautiful is. It's okay to show our kids that we are not perfect. It's okay to cry in front of our kids. It's okay to let our kids see us losing our cool and handling anger and have that as conversation for them to understand that all emotions are good and had a purpose instead of how we grow up into. Oh, the only emotions that we show and are good are happiness and joy and kindness. And when we are sad or angry or frustrated. Oh no, we do that after the kids are in bed. We, we have this conversation when they don't know because we want to protect them. No, we need to show them how to manage and handle all the emotions, including the ones that are not comfortable for us to feel. Now, how we led with intention and live with intention, I think that is a journey, a daily hour by hour journey of anchoring in the present moment. Because it's very easy for us to get in the game of disassociating from the now, either because we are worrying about tomorrow, about what is happening, or because we are regretting what we did yesterday. And that is why it's called the present. Because it's a present. It's a present that you need to choose to open every day. Is that easy? No. Can I tell you that I believe that anybody in the entire world, including the Monks, perfect this. I don't believe it. I think that we have people that are a lot more present. But I think that every single human at one point every day had that choice of saying, okay, I need to go back to now, I need to go back to now. What I'm doing now, what I have control and understanding that future or past are just illusions. They don't exist. They only exist in our mind. And I think that is the best way to live and lead with intention. Because as more present we are as more we are able to be grateful for what we have to appreciate what is going on to create those connections. We don't create connections in the future or the past, we create connections in the present. So I think that all of that start with our dance between past, present and future. And in that, that in that dance, get used to it. To get in the middle as much as possible every day and live our life from that middle.

Hmm. Well, thank you so much, you know, for graciously giving us your time and listening. And I really am praying that the value Joy is adding into my life, she supersedes and adds even a lot more into your life. Because I think the way that she's poetically and eloquently communicating and grounding herself to such a higher level of spirituality isn't something that, you know, ordinary people will tap into you. I can tell that you have done a lot of work, Joe, on yourself, to heal, to understand that your traumas were there for you, to grow from them, to learn from them, and I think, quite honestly, to serve from them. Right. When you start to know that intentionality is something that's a practice, it's not like, oh, I figured intentionality out today.

Done.

Now I can go and, like, you know, end my life. All good. I've tapped into intentionality, but it's quite the contrary. It's like one of the most difficult things in life, I think is just right here, right now. Notice all the subtleties and the momentum and the motions and the energy of this very present moment. And when we can tap into that, life starts to feel richer, more meaningful, more connected. And like you said, you probably want to dance. Like, not even like a dance of art. Like, you really want to dance. You want to be so excited and happy because you start to feel life a lot more. And I think that's what's missing from a lot of our, you know, our day to day is being able to feel this journey a bit more. What's that one personal thing that you would like to share with with me and our audience members here so that way we can get to know Joe a little bit better.

To know Joe a little bit. Three things that come to mind. I am a cheerleader, a coach, and an accountability partner in every relationship in my life. With my clients, with my family, with my friends. And that is because of my archetypes. I am very accountable into do what you say that you're going to do. But I'm also nothing. Give me more pleasure and happiness that cheerlead and help somebody. Actually, I was in the gym today, and I usually work out with a person that is amazing. The person is a lot older than me, so I end up modifying my workouts to do it with that person because then we can do it together. And then somebody was asking, like, like, you are not going to your hundred because you are modifying. And then I was just smiling, saying, like, I would prefer my entire time go to my 70, but do it with another person and seeing that that is helping them to do an 80 or a 90 for them that just do hundred by myself. So I think that that that is. Is a weird mix for me into how my brain works. That is that I can have the analytical follow process, checklist, accountability. And it's still also that part of the relationship of I will have your back and I will be there for you no matter what. And two interesting. Three interesting things about me was I collect unicorns, over 100 unicorns in my house. And I collect Buddhas too. So I have over 125 Buddhas around my house, from tiny, tiny to big ones. So those are two, like, interesting things about me. And yep, I am a perfectionist in recovery here. I'm up here, perfectionist in recovery. Because like I was telling you were telling before so beautifully, the illusion that anything in life we can just habra cadabra hocus pocus, starting today or starting tomorrow, after I spend this money with this coach or I go to this seminar, is going to go away from my life is bs. I don't believe, I think it is a journey. I actually tell my clients, I don't want all of these lessons to stop for you because I believe that when you learn all your lessons in life and you don't have anything else to learn and you don't have any other issues or problems, I believe that you're going to die. Because I believe that you come to life to learn those lessons. So when they are not there, that means that your time here is over. And then from that perspective, like, I don't want my time to be over. So then we embrace keeping the lessons, keeping learning, keep getting better every day.

Yeah, I think it's beautiful to know that there's this, like, we're talking about this dance and this art, like, accountability is gorgeous. But cheerleading, that's what I think makes a really great coach. Because I've also noticed that when we as coaches really are able to showcase to our clients and say, you know what? Wow, it's so different than, you know, the person who's like, oh, well, I'm so glad that you accomplished that task. Right. Like, being able to celebrate something with them, their efforts, their energy, their change, the transformation really starts to show them that there's so much more potential that they haven't tapped into. And, you know, here on the show, I often will talk about, like, just the fact that I have in every single one of us, and that's just this greatness. That we have in ourselves. Being able to tap into it and really live into that really starts to make us, you know, elevate our lives. Now, I understand the unicorn. I get the accountability. I get the cheerleading. What I want to dive in is, like, what's happening with the Buddhas? Like, how come you're collecting Buddhas?

So I grow up as a Jehovah Witness, and after that, I start moving into a lot of religions. Part of my archetypes is I have a very strong maverick that is the rebel. So I start being very questioning some of the things from each religion. And then what I started doing instead was few years ago when I start doing my yoga teacher training with the Buddhas was I surrender myself into. There is no one answer. There is no one religion. So what I did was I start making a collage of all the things from each religion that I love and then allow myself to just let go of the other things. Like, if I like this part and I don't like the other part, I don't need to disregard everything or I don't need to do the part that I don't like. And I think that the Buddhas are a constant reminder for me on that because of Buddha's journey into enlightenment and their. Their entire journey for how Buddha went from being very privileged and unaware to see all the pain and the suffering in the world, to go back into lighting into is my choice to pick and be unapologetically about what I want. And circling back into what you say about the cheerleading, I think that goes hand to hand with. With what Buddha represents to me and is allowing ourselves to celebrate ourselves, especially females. I think that males are a lot better than this, but we females are always uncomfortable. Like, some. One thing that I tell all my clients and I will invite everybody in the community that is watching us to do it for a week. Stop giving a compliment when somebody give you a compliment. So I'm like, oh, my God, I love your shirt. A lot of the times people are like, oh, thank you. It's just $2 from Target. Or. Or, oh, thank you. I love your glasses. We are so uncomfortable into celebrating ourselves and taking compliments and appreciate that we are doing something nice and that we look nice, that we reflected back. And then the challenge is, next time somebody give you a compliment, say thank you. And then if you had to buy your tongue, buy it and do not reflect it back, because that is the journey that is. And that is what probably Buddhas remind me. They were in a very specific time in my life. But now when I'm walking my house and I'm seeing them everywhere is a reminder into that divine in me and how I'm allowed to be me and speak up for myself and choose what I want and, and let go of the rest.

I think it's, you know, it would be a disservice to every one of you who's listening if I didn't share my own aha moment and breakthrough. So, you know, as a Pakistani woman, we are constantly taught that our value lies within our relationship and the validation that we get from other people is how we are worthy, so to speak. Right? And I've loved to cook for forever, and it's something that I do with a lot of passion and love. And so I made, you know, it's kind of very opposite of what people may think I make. Like the bomb is fried chicken and wings, right? And so it's become like a staple. I'm also like, you know, create my own sauce. And so my brother in law, about six years ago, when I was visiting and it was visiting my, you know, my parents at home and my sisters and I made fried chicken. And he's like, umbrean, I think this is the best fried chicken and wings I've had in my whole life. What about like 40 years? And I was like, no, I. I actually think like, you know, the sauce isn't as good as as it was last time. And what he did was like, instantaneous. He's like, umbre, just say thank you. And it was in that moment that I realized how I would always counterintuitively try to diminish my own efforts and my love and my kindness by making sure that, oh, maybe I could have leveled up a little more, right? I could have done something somewhat differently. And for every single one of you who's tuned in thus far, you know, thank you. And apply this simple teaching that Joe has just kind of shared with us to us. When someone compliments you, my now response is, I appreciate it. That's it. And then I soak it into my own existence, right? Like, I'm like, girl, celebrate that. That's so amazing. Because when we start to tap into our own greatness, I truly believe we have better energy and we serve others with so much more excitement and joy and love and compassion. Now I want to ask you, you know, as we're talking about other individuals here, what's that one thing that you can, you know, share with us here, Joe, that will allow us to get to know your family dynamics a little bit Better.

My family dynamics. I marry the soul of my life in 2016 and I had a pandemic baby. He turned three in July. And one of the things on my family dynamic that is very important for me and I had it always clear and I'm being, having to do a lot more reminding and conscious actions about it is my marriage and my husband is my first priority. And I, I always believe that and believe that, yeah, that is my priority. My marriage is my priority, my husband is my priority. And a lot of times I get a lot of pushback because people like it should be your kids. And I, I don't. I think that as long as my marriage is strong and I'm happy with my husband, as better parents we both are going to be and as better our kids are going to be. So that is something unique about my family dynamics. A couple other things about my family dynamics is I am doing, I've been doing inner work since I was 15 years old. So over 25 years that the amount of inner work and healing that I've been doing in the last three years since my baby was born is unbelievable. And that is why I think that we all. And I'm trying to help as many moms as possible because that concept of choosing to parent in a different way that you were parent, it's not easy. It's hard as f because you get automatic responses because you get wounds. So it is literally, you are literally parenting twice like I am being for the last three years. I'm being. Trying to parent my child with all the new knowledge that I have. And I'm with that, trying to re parent my inner child, my little girl that was partnering a completely different and in sometimes a lot of more traumatic way. So I think that that is something about my family dynamics. I do a lot of work with my inner child. My husband is my first priority. And then it's family for me is super important.

I think it's, it's enlightening, you know, for you to share that awareness with us because when I am also working with parents and the coaching program that I have is a little different because if you are, you know, if you have a partner, if you're, you know, with somebody in a relationship, I have to take the both of you on a coaching journey. I'm no longer doing the one person because you start to outgrow the other person and create complications. However, the essence of it is to pour back into that relationship first and foremost because it was you that then created a family. And if you're forgetting you, then the family is only going to go down. And I don't think people understand the dynamics of prioritizing our marriages and our part, not our partners. I want to say companions first and foremost, because when that companionship is strong, when that's the, you know, the foundation of what you're giving to your children, if that's like on point, then everything just falls into place. And I think what people fail to realize is like the most sacred gift that you can give to your children is a healthy relationship between the parents. Now talk to us a little bit more about, you know, you said that you've been healing since 15. However, you've kind of elevated that healing since a little human was born. What can you express, you know, to all of us who are listening and really want to tap in to your greatness that we can start to do to be a better parent and be a better role model for those little humans?

I think that the, the best way that we can be a better parent is to practice showing grace to ourselves. I believe that especially parents are being put into a unattainable standard with social media. I was just last week seeing one of those Mimi's in social media. So like moms in the 1950s were like, oh, my kids are fed, my kids went to school, my kids are alive, done. And they were comparing that with the moms now with social media. And it's like, oh, my kids went to soccer, I need to go to swimming and need to play an instrument and need to, I need to work out and I need to build muscle and I need to do yoga and I need to have sex with my husband and I and I and I. And because of all those expectations is very easy for us to be very hard with ourselves because we can get into the trap of feeling that is never enough. That like you were saying with your compliment, we always are thinking like, I should do something more. I cool something more. So I think that the, the first thing is showing grace to ourselves, learning to be content with what we did and say, did I did the best that I could today? Yes. That doesn't mean that it's 100 every day, especially for females because we also have our menstrual cycle or hormonal cycle or if you are not having a period, you have the moon cycle. Doing the best that you can every day do not mean doing 100 every day. Sometimes the best that you could do today was 30 and how amazing will be at the end of the day instead of saying, oh my God, I'm such a loser. I'm such a lazy. I only did 30% to say, you know what? I'm so proud of that 30 because that was the best that I could do today. And then I know that in a week I'm gonna be doing 100 and I will feel good about that. So I think that starting with learning how to show ourselves grace. Yes. You touch this with being a role example for our kids. It is such a irony because we work so hard into be a role mode for them and a lot of times we forget that monkey see, monkey do. The phrase doesn't say monkey here. Monkey do. The phrase says monkey see, monkey do. So when we want to be a role model, it doesn't matter how much you are telling your, your, your son or your daughter, oh, you are love, you are powerful, you are kind you. All of those things that you want them to learn if they are seeing you being super hard with yourself, not showing yourself grace, running yourself to death, trying to do everything by yourself, don't have in self care. Yeah, they're going to hear, but what they're going to do is what they saw you doing. So believe it or not, as uncomfortable as this feel, the best way to be a role model for your kids is learning to put yourself first and to love yourself first and make yourself happy. That is the best gift that you can give them because then they are going to monkey do, monkey see, monkey do. They're going to be unapologetically when they are after with their partners, with their companions, they are going to love themselves. They're going to have self care because they saw mom and dad doing it at home. They didn't hear mom and dad saying it. They saw mom and dad doing it.

I love you that we've touched upon this point and I think it's so brilliant because the, the full coaching program that I have is literally a role model mindset. Coaching. It is. I said this to somebody just last week. I was like, you know, we often think as parents and as family members that people are listening to us. Ain't nobody listening to you. It's. It just ain't happening. Okay. And also on top of that, as humans, we can't retain all that we're listening to. However, when we see consistent patterns, then you're like, oh yeah. For some reason, mom would make herself a cup of tea every single morning. And I asked her one day, like, why do you drink tea every single day? Because I, that's like for me, it's a moment to pause and celebrate myself and to care for me. I like it. You're like, oh, okay. Well, then the kiddo starts to find and experiment things that make them feel a higher level of presence and elevation and self love and care. And I think it's brilliant, you know, very difficult. I'm not going to say it's easy. You know, for those of you who are listening, this stuff that we're talking about, it is not easy. I can attest that Joe and myself, we're still a work in progress. You know, like Joe said, the journey of the soul is to continue learning those lessons. And with the lessons that you went to, you know, you're made to learn in this life are done. So is this journey for us, you know, and so I think it's, it's so beautiful to say grace is something that we show ourselves first and foremost. Kind of people say, be your own best friend. When that thought comes in your mind, this negativity and that pool of chaos starts to develop, you like, oh, stop yourself. How would I talk to my best friend right now? Girl, you got this. Shake it off. Just breathe, go for a walk. Whatever you would say to that best friend of yours who you're cheering on and also holding accountable because you know they have greatness within themselves, do that to us. You know, I think it would be such a beautiful dance. Like, Joe, you and I could talk probably forever and ever. But I do want to ask you to share with us how can people reach out to you?

Thank you so much. Z. Was I, I, I think the same. I think that I felt like we were just best friends talking and we could keep talking forever. My handle. So Joe Unicorn coach, you can find me like that in Instagram, in Facebook. I handle my own social media. And then if you want to hear a little bit more about what I'm doing. Www.joyunicorncoach.com like it's in the screen and I'll be happy to hear from you. And if you want to send both Coach Amberry and me a message telling us what resonates with you, what caught your attention, I think that we, I can say that we both agree that that is what we are doing this to elevate together and to get humanity to the next level.

Yeah, 100%. I think that's beautiful. So make sure that you are reaching out to Joe Unicorn coach and right here as well. You know, I want to encourage you. We still got a few minutes left. If you've got questions for Joe, get into that app Comment, ask the question. And I will be more than happy to get an answer for you because I think it's this engagement, because I'm looking at this conversation from my perspective. However, you may have other questions you may want to know more. Like, yeah, Joe, whatever you waited, you're saying you're 41 years old. You wait until forever to have a kid. I had my first when I was 20. And you're telling me to parent the same way. That's not going to happen. Right. These simple conversations, we can start to see there's a shift of perspective that happens and that only happens through dialogue and curiosity. So if you have questions, of course, reach out to us after the show. You know, and that's just. She said her handle is Joe unicorn Coach or Jo unicorncoach.com. bring in those questions. Let us know just that one thing that you learn or one thing you'll do differently because you were tuned into this conversation. Now, we do have this beautiful tradition on this on the show before we wrap up. It's called the intentional wrap up. And these are just rapid fire questions that I will ask you. And the intention is to get a word or a sentence to answer these specific questions. So whatever comes to mind, you, you just got to spit it out. You ready?

Yeah. All right.

What do you want to leave behind for the world?

Legacy.

Okay, I am going to ask you. What does legacy mean for you?

Inspiration to leave on their own self.

How will you know that you've led an intentional life?

By hearing what people say on my funeral.

Okay. If you could create one law that everybody had to follow, what would that lobby?

You need to put yourself always first.

Okay. Put yourself first, people. You heard it here. Okay. I know you've got tons of these lessons that we've kind of talked about a little bit as a conversation. Continue. Like, what's that one lesson that has made you who you are today?

My worthiness is not attached or linked to my performance.

Okay, let's dive in a little bit more because I think a lot of our audience members are going to be very curious to hear. What does that mean?

What that means is as a perfectionist in recovery, part of what I learned was that in order for me to be loved, in order for me to be worthy of love, worthy of receiving, I had to perform. I always have to aim for that perfection, aim for the good grades, aim for being the first in my class. So the biggest lesson for me on this for years and I, I'm still working on the lesson is I am worthy not because of what I do. I'm worthy because of who I am. So my worthiness is not linked to how I perform. I can perform very good, regular or bad. And that scale of performance will never affect how much worthy I am of love, of my desires, of the life that I want to dream. Because that worthiness come by default with me as a soul is not linked to how much I perform day by day.

All right, so remember that lesson. Your worthiness just exists because your soul entered this universe in this exact time. All right, my last question to you is, what's the key to a healthy relationship, Joe?

Putting yourself first and healing your own wounds.

All right, I think that is just the most beautiful way to kind of, you know, wrap up this show. And I do want to take a moment to thank every single one of you who's here so far. Thank you for becoming a part of my legacy and Joe's legacy by just listening to us and hopefully something that we shared with you resonated so that way you too can take charge of your life and tap into your own unicorn and discover the magic of life. Thank you, Joe, so very much. And this show, of course, can be heard on Spanglish radio network. Please check out Spanglishworld CA for all the news and the programming. As we close, my prayer is that this show will embark us on a transformative path to be in grateful for all of God's blessings, to accept the unfolding of life and to commit to values and dreams which will allow us to tap into our own greatness as I have, Tawakal, which is just faith in every single one of us. When we unleash our authenticity, we start to live more intentionally. Remember, there's only one of you, one life. Design it with excellence. SP English World Watch it, hear it, read it, download it. Most importantly, live it into it with intentionality to better serving yourself. Thank you so much, folks. Until next time, bye.