In this solo coaching video, Coach Ambereen addresses couples who find themselves trapped in cycles of blame, fighting, and negative assumptions. She argues that the hallmark of successful relationships is the ability to stop blaming and instead adopt a calm, curious stance that seeks understanding. Central to this shift is the practice of "Assume Positive Intent" (API), which requires individuals to work on their own mindset, take ownership of their attitudes, and recognize that while many life circumstances are beyond control, how one shows up is not. Ambereen explains how blame erodes respect, autonomy, and unity in a marriage, and she outlines the mental shift needed to move from blame to understanding. She invites listeners who feel stuck in destructive patterns to engage in personal coaching, emphasizing the need for complete honesty, openness, and intentional design of their partnership and home life.
Chapters
Do you often blame, fight, or assume in your marriage? If so, let's keep listening and find out what are some tools and tricks and tips that you can gain on how to stop doing that. Believe it or not, nobody likes it. Nobody likes it when you're shoving your thoughts, your opinions down someone else's throat. I know I took a pause because this one is a very touchy-feely topic. However, You don't want someone to do that to you, do you? You want someone to give you the autonomy to explain yourself, to be understood, to be respected. So why are you blaming your partner when you also can take a little bit of ownership? The one thing that sets apart successful couples, people who have a great relationship, is their ability to not blame. They actually become calm and relaxed and ask questions and try to understand and accept and embrace versus blame. You've been there, I've been there, we've all been there when you're just blaming, blaming as a back and forth, blame, blame, blame, blame. It's like a blame game. And guess what? Nobody is going to win that game. So stop blaming. How about we start to look inward and see where can you hold yourself to a higher standard, to stop blaming somebody else for the way that life's turning out? Because believe it or not, most of us think we have control when in reality we don't control a lot. The one thing I do expect you to control is your attitude, your mindset, and how you actually show up in life. That much control you've got to have. What would change in your life if instead of blaming, you took the time to understand? Everything would shift. Understanding is something that most couples don't do. Why? Because we love to assume, and not assume the best, assume the worst. There's something called always assume positive intent. API— assume positive intent. But most people, most marriages are ending up in divorce, in arguments and fights, because you want to assume the worst of a situation. Why is that so common in our culture? Because if you assume positive intent, you have to work on yourself. And if you're here listening this far, I'm expecting you to be those people who are working on themselves. I'm not the coach who will just sit here and let you listen passively. My intention and my expectation is you will change and transform your life, take back control, and be responsible, have autonomy to be responsible for your life and the way that things are happening and unfolding. Especially in your marriage. Why? Because you chose each other. You made the decision. You had the autonomy to get married. You made the decision to have kids if you desired. You made the decision to, you know, pursue the career path that you have. You've been making decisions all along, and when things don't happen according to your way, you start to blame, start to shame, start to insult, you start to negate, You started to disrespect. Cut that out. It's not helping you, it's not helping your marriage, and it surely is not helping your home. If any of what I'm saying to you resonates, and if you feel like you're stuck in patterns and habits and you don't really know how to break them, or you don't have the mindset that you need to really bring unity into your home, I would like to tell you You don't have to do this alone. I'm here, I'm ready, I would love the opportunity to get to know your home a little bit better. What do I expect from you in return? To be completely open and honest. Don't sugarcoat stuff that's not working out. Don't blame somebody else for the way your life turned out. Take ownership. Why? Because you only get one, and I would love to support you to design it intentionally.
