Ambereen teaches a three-second pause technique: stop between reaction and response, ask how your best self would act, then choose kindness. She argues this deliberate practice shifts family dynamics, reduces conflict, and models behavior children will carry into their own homes.
Kindness oftentimes feels like a difficult thing to practice, wouldn't you agree? Here are some simple ways, some few tips that you can actually start to make kindness as you practice. How? Well, we're going to dive in to figure out. How are you practicing kindness when you are responding? The second thing that is really important is to zoom in on the energy of kindness, which I think is such a great shifter and kindness as an actual value that you get to practice with your family. Okay, so let's dive in. Let's get into that. First thing I talk to you guys about. In between a reaction and a response, there's a pause. Let me say that again. In between a reaction and a response, there is a pause. If the milk spills and you're screaming, you're reacting. If the milk spills and you're calm, you're responding. You want to learn the simple act of practicing a pause. Three second pause. I tell everybody, all my clients know this. Before you go into reaction mode, take a beat, pause for three seconds, and ask yourself, how does the best version of me show up? And then do that, because why? That shifts the whole dynamics of the relationship that you have with your own family. What does that lead us into? It leads us into this place of energy. When we practice kindness, when you make it like a mantra, when we make it like a practice, when we actually live into kindness, being kind to our family is. It's so hard. Probably the toughest thing. When your wife looks at you with disgust, when your husband makes a face with us, I'm so disappointed. How do you practice kindness in that time? It's so tough, isn't it? Like you feel like you feel depleted, you feel drained, you feel overwhelmed, you feel sad. And I'm telling you, hey, I'm brain is saying, practice kindness. Yeah. Why? Because by practicing kindness, you will shift the whole energy of the home, of the relationship. Kindness is free. Yes, it's hard to practice. But with anything in life, the more that we do it, the better that we get at it. So when next time you want to say something mean to somebody, ask yourself this. Would you want someone to say that to you? And if you don't, don't respond. Don't do anything. In that moment in time, staying quiet will speak volumes versus babbling stuff that you're going to regret later. As we kind of talk through this conversation of practicing kindness, learning to respond, shifting the energy. I think it's really important to understand that kindness is. It's a value. It's a value that you get to live into with your children, with your partners, with your mom, with your dad, with your brother, with your sister. You name it, it's a practice, it's a value. When you do your level best by living into it, which I always talk about. And you guys know this is like, I want you to play the role model card. I want you to role model every behavior that you want your kids to, to have. Because if you're not doing it, they're going to become mini versions of you. Someone's got to break the cycle. No. Why not you? Why don't you do your best to practice kindness as a value of your family? Almost like a foundation becomes foundational. It's like a pillar. It holds your family down. And when you practice kindness, everything starts to elevate and it starts to shift. In our home, when my kids were young, they would make fun of me all the time. And I would say, kindness is so cool. Kindness is so cool. And I would do my best to be kind to the stranger on the sidewalk who I don't know something about, to somebody who needs some support and help, to my own children who are having, you know, throwing a fit, having a challenging time. Just sometimes giving people grace, allowing them to be is a really simple way of giving people the space to be themselves. To really understand that through kindness, you show other people that it's okay to express all different emotions. Why this is very, very, very important as I wrap this up is you don't want to think, take things personally. I stumbled upon my words. I'll say it again. Don't take things personally. Because when you take things personally, you cannot live into your best self. You will be a horrible mom, a mean dad, a disrespectful kid, and no one wants to be remembered for those things, Right? If you wanted to be, you wouldn't be here listening to this right now. So right there tells me that you are invested in your family, that you do want to learn better ways so you can stop reacting, you know, so you can take that beat, so you can really uplevel the energy and have more harmony, healing, and happiness in your home. So that way you can really live into values that actually become part of the legacy of the generations to come. If you're somebody who really wants to learn and practice bringing more peace, more harmony into your home, and you're having a tough time really being kind because life is hard and I get it, life's pretty hard. I want you to reach out to me. I've opened up a few spots for my own private coaching clients, and I would love for you to kind of get on a call with me. Let's explore and see what the possibilities are. Looking forward to serving you, sending you a whole lot of Umbergi until next time.
