Coach Ambereen shares three questions to ask family members: a favorite memory, what they're good at and think about in quiet moments, and what skills they want to learn. Writing down their answers and modeling the behavior yourself builds deeper connection.
Beyond the small talk. Today we're actually going to dive in to some wonderful questions that we get to ask our family members to understand them a little bit better. Okay, and the coolest thing is that this can literally repair 6 months of distance, of disconnection, of the unknown. All these are, are fun conversation starters that you can ask your family member to really change the dynamics of the way that your family has operated forever, okay? So what am I gonna recommend you do? Recommend you write them down, okay, people? Let's go. When you write things down, you remember them, and this way you have something to reference, okay? And I think it's very important that you do this with your family members. I did it with my kids, and that's what I'm looking at. I'm looking at my notes to see what did they say? And kind of exciting myself. So let's get started. I really want us to have a conversation in 3 different elements. So we're kind of gonna have the past, the present, and the future. This will really give us a way to anchor ourselves in understanding where our family members, our kids, our husbands, our wives, our moms, our dads, our siblings, where they've really been. And you can do this with anybody. I would recommend you a challenge that you do this with people that you have over, guests that are, um, you know, close family members, close friends that really know you but you want to understand them a little bit better. So the first thing I want you to do is really, if I ask them, what is your favorite memory as a family? What is this doing? It's allowing them to understand what they enjoyed doing, what lights them up, what made them happy. Why is that a favorite memory? What happened in that time where they were like, man, I remember that years and years and years later. My kids have some really fun stories that they can share with you about our lives. However, they all mentioned that one of their favorite things to do as a family was to go cruising. We discovered how to cruise recently, and it's such a great way to reset and to kind of block our psalms from everyday things. And the thing that I challenge myself with as well is making sure that I have no internet for myself or the kids so we can partake in activities, sleep in, enjoy the simple moments. Let's get to the present! So I want you to ask your family members, your loved ones, something that's really fun. What is something that you think you're good at? Now you get their wheels turning because they're also trying to understand, hmm, I don't know what I'm good at. Do I know what I'm good at? What am I good at? And this really starts to create a place where you guys can explore together. This one shocked me when I asked, what do you think about when you're just quiet? And it gives us a lot of reflection about the dialogue that our kids and our family members have in the back of their mind. You'll get to know your partner even a little bit better when they know what they think about when it's just completely quiet in front of us, but in reality, in our minds, there are things that are going on, right? This is one of my favorite ones to ask. You people know I'm all about this right here. What makes you feel really happy? And whatever your family members share, take note. Start to do more of that. This is such a simple way to deepen your connection with them, reunite as a family, and to really strengthen the bond that you have as a unit. When we know what makes them happy, it is our job as parents, as leaders of the home, to do more of that. The, the next one here, still talking about like the present moment, is: If everyone can know something about you, what would you want them to know? In the— for me as well, This was something that required a little bit of thought because I don't want to share everything. However, I do want to share something. So what is that thing that I want the world to know about me? So we've talked a little bit about the past, a little bit about the present. Let's dive into that future, which is so important in what— in the way that we operate as a family, because Because like you and me, our kids and our family members are always changing. So this one really gets them to think beyond the present moment. What's something that you want to learn about? This gives them an opportunity to know what are their interests, what are their talents, what skill sets do they want to build. And you'll come back with so much information to really getting to know your little ones, and even your partner a little bit better. The second one is something that I— this next one was something that I love listening about and learning about with my kids, and that's, is there something new you would like to try that you haven't? What do they really want to explore, discover? Learn more about, you know? And this gives us an opportunity to say, okay, future family vacations, this is what we're doing, this is how we're having that fun, which is essential to really building a deeper connection with your family member. Now, I began the conversation off by saying we've got to listen a little bit better, and by asking these questions, we're gonna equip ourselves to create emotional safety in our families. We're going to give our family members an idea that we are really optimizing and leveling up our skill sets, even as communicators, and that always we want to lead with a role model mindset so that way our kids follow suit. Because everybody in your home is listening— is not listening to what you're saying, but watching what you're doing. And how fun would it be when they get to watch the way your face lights up, the shock that you have, the reactions that you have as you explore these questions with your family members. Do drop in the comments below. Let me know what was your favorite one. What will you start to practice with your family as you think about the present, the past, and the future? And as always, if you really want to learn more about how I can support your home, reach out.
