Your Relationship with Yourself

Alright, welcome, welcome. So very happy to see you and see that you are here showing up for yourself, doing the rich, deep, meaningful work.

As you know, I love to run these kind of webinars, workshops, masterclass, so to speak, whatever you wanna call them.

Why?

With one intention in mind, with you in mind, making sure that not only are you feeling that you have the tools that you need to succeed in life, but you also have a roadmap on how to get there.

Oftentimes people are so caught up in adding value to other people's lives, to overgiving and not worrying about themselves, that the relationship with ourselves is the one that suffers enormously. Now, if you are here today, I'm expecting something that's very important. And the expectation is that you are here to show up for you. You are here to do the deep, rich, meaningful work for you. And alongside, you're taking a ton of notes. Because if you're not, nothing in life will change.

I truly only want to impact people who are willing and ready to change their lives for the better, to show up as the best versions of themselves, because they realize at the core of everything, it is you. You are what matters in your life. When your head is not on straight, When you're worried, overwhelmed, going through difficulties and challenges, you're impacting every single thing from your work to your marriage to your family to your kids, and you're really not showing up with presence for life.

So today, the way I want to stop— actually start things off is almost creating a stop list. Okay, if you're with me so far, say, "I am here." Drop that in the comments. That lets me that lets you, that lets everybody know that you are truly here to change your life and you're ready for that reinvention.

The critical part about life always is you want to remember that care begins within, which is very tough for most people to think about. The reason why it's tough is because in society we're all taught that your value, your worth is attached to somebody else. And we're seeking this at any given moment in time. We're trying to find out like, hey, how can I add more value there? What more can I pick up?

What more can I take on to show you that you matter, that I care about you?

And in all of that grind, you forget yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome. As we launch into today, my first question to you— yes, first question to you.

I told you we'll be taking a lot of notes, asking a lot of things, so here we go. First question to you: what is your intention for today? Now oftentimes when I ask that question, people think it's like, I gotta get this done and this done and do this and do this. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Take a step back. Literally take a step back, okay? Your intention is just one word, one word that you want to live into today, one word that you want to feel today, one word that's gonna make you raise vibrations, that's gonna keep you grounded amongst the difficulties and challenges of life. And this one word is really tremendously powerful when you make this intentional living a practice.

I love and enjoy working with leaders, and by leaders I'm not talking about SVP and the president and the executive directors, the corporate ladder. No, I'm talking about a leadership mindset which all starts with our ability to role model the way. When we're role modeling the way, I told you today we're gonna start with a stop list, okay? This is a stop list of 5 things where you are doing things wrong. I know, kind of direct and straightforward like that. Some people might say, "You're too blunt.

How can you tell me to stop doing things before we even start doing things?" Well, to reinvent yourself, the reason why you're listening to this is because a part of you is struggling because you don't like versions of yourself. There are things about your own life that you know must change because it's no longer working. That could be the way you're parenting. That could be the distance in your marriage. That could be the negative thoughts of your mind, right? All of that to say, the reason why it's really important for us to start here is because no one ever tells us that reinvention means we have to stop doing things because those things are kind of leading into mistakes from becoming our fullest potential. From really tapping into more joy, into more freedom, into more abundance. If you are here listening to this live, later in a class, course, whatever it is, it is really essential for you to understand that change begins within. Love will never change somebody unless there's a consequence of not changing. I know, I wish somebody had shared these 5 mistakes with me. So let's dive in, shall we? The first one is stop pretending like you know the direction and going full throttle. Okay, that's the first thing. You think you know where you want to go because you've been trying to get there for a long time, and you just keep pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing. That grind mentality, right?

Which is great.

However, I think better than grind is tenacity. So let's write that down: tenacity over grind. And as I am speaking, take a moment on that piece of paper or on your device, wherever you're taking these notes, and define for yourself what is the difference between the two. And that difference is why you'll stop making the mistake.

So I said you feel like you know the direction and you're just grinding it out full throttle and you're not seeing the results and the change.

Okay, the second mistake that people often make when they are unable to reinvent themselves is you're asking the wrong questions. I know, me too, right here, me too. Asking the wrong questions, and in that, the sad thing that happens is when we ask the wrong questions, we cannot make and build the momentum that we want in the direction that we want to go into. And if you keep asking the wrong questions, you're going to keep getting further and further away from reinventing yourself and creating the life that you desire.

The third mistake that many people, many of us make, including myself, is we think reinvention is like a boom, like, oh yeah, I thought it, I believed it, Imagined it and manifested it and it's done.

Simmer down, just simmer down, because that is not the reality, right? Reinvention isn't an emergency where all of a sudden everything just changes within a nanosecond. So sometimes you go through stages in life, right? For me, one of those stages in life was when I began to understand that my marriage isn't the way I want it to be, that my marriage was really missing something, that regardless of whatever I did, I felt like I still wasn't good enough, I still wasn't doing enough, I still wasn't being enough, I still was falling short, and I was just talking down on myself. And so I would be trying all these things and approaching a reinvention in my marriage to be like a one-sided reinvention. Well, that's not possible. I find out one more thing that's wrong and I'll hit the emergency brakes and then just like try to go full throttle again, and nothing was working out. So a reinvention is not an emergency. A reinvention is quite different. And we'll dive into kind of the, the shift in these narratives, in the way that these mistakes can actually become a way of alignment. The fourth thing that we tend to do, right, the fourth thing that we tend to do is we tend to create reinvention across the wrong time. And when I say that, you might be like, what, across the wrong time, like multiple universes, Ambereen?

That would be a fun way of looking at it. However, my intention isn't that.

My intention is that this reinvention isn't something that needs to happen in this moment, that there are far too many pressing things that need to actually be attended to versus what you and I are intending— attending to. If any of this is making sense so far, I want you to kind of drop in the comments below and say, "This makes sense. This makes sense." And if this makes sense, really will not only encourage you and me and everybody else that's kind of part of this journey, it'll encourage all of us to be like, "Oh, you too?

Okay, wonderful. We're all messing up together." Isn't that the best when you find that other people make the same mistakes as you? You find that other people want to grow like you. You find that everybody wants a lot more joy like you in life, right? And that's what the human journey is. So we also make this— the fifth mistake that we make is we pretend like we are the expert of our own reinvention. Been there all the time, right? Like, I'm like, I know what I need, I know what I gotta do. And then it's like a poop upside my head where God's like, uh-uh. That's not it, Ambereen.

Come back to grounding, come back to recentering, come back to guidance, come back to mentorship, come back to the things that you— all the tools that you have. Because you may be the subject matter expert when it comes to the mind, of behavioral change, of connection, of leadership, but your whole life, what's ahead of you, you have no idea. Someone told me 3 years ago that I would have a mission of making family development a priority.

I would say, "Ha! You're funny because I'm still in some capacity working a corporate 9-to-5, grinding it out, trying to prove myself not only to me but to my leadership team to say, 'Yep, I've earned that bonus. I've taken on more responsibility. I'm leveling up my skill set.'" So When we're operating from that, we are really not the subject matter experts of our own reinvention.

Life is holistic. Life is holistic, which basically means that there are so many individual pieces in our lives that have to kind of connect together, that have to unite in harmony. For us to really catapult and launch into the most remarkable, fulfilling, rich, meaningful experience filled with connection, filled with relationships, filled with well-being? And wouldn't it be amazing for us to experience that together? Wouldn't it be wonderful if we understood these questions from a place of openness, right, are almost like mistakes that we're asking. These statements are really not taking us to the place that we want to go. So let's dive in, right?

Let's dive into finding out how do you add more fun, more fulfillment, more freedom into our lives. So life is kind of like a big road ahead, right? You don't know the curves, you don't know the ups and downs, you don't know the obstacles, you don't know what's gonna show up in front of you. You, me, none of us.

We're all trying to do our best.

And oftentimes I tell people, it all starts with the mind. It all starts right here. So for me, write down, and then courageously share with our community, Wherever you're watching and tuning in from in this given moment in time, share.

What are the thoughts in your mind?

You see, research has proven to us time and again, sadly, that most human beings think about 80,000 thoughts in one day. Okay? 80,000 thoughts in a day. 80% of these thoughts, if not 90%, are repetitive. Rinse, recycle, repeat. Rinse, recycle, repeat.

And about 80% of these thoughts are negative. 80,000, 80% the same, 80% negative. That's a pretty sad statistics. So when you're thinking about the thoughts in your mind, Are you in this 80%?

And you know what? Take it with a ton of grace.

I'm never one to say, "Oh, you? You're there?" I was there. I was there for years and years and years and years and years, for a very long time. And it was really sad because I'd wake up sad, go to sleep disappointed, I'd wake up frustrated, I would go to sleep irritated, I would wake up not feeling enough, I would go to sleep feeling like, what a miserable person you are. That's so hard. So today, when I really want to ask you, I want you to choose one area of your life where you really think this is important, or it's important for you to add more fun, to add more fulfillment, to feel more free. And this is going to be the defining factor of how you get to reinvent yourself, how you really get to step into being more of you, not doing, right?

Like, I'm, I'm great about guiding my clients to kind of be more structured, to make to do the things they need to do to create the time that they need to be what they want to be and how— show up how they want to show up.

As for right now, I had asked you what's your intention for today, and that intention kind of tells me why you are here, tells everybody here what it is that you want to accomplish and what you want to feel into today. So remember that Instead of thinking about the first mistake, right? Let's dive into that. First mistake is know the direction and then you're just going full throttle. Like you are like, this is the destination I got to get to.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Instead of that, I want you to just hit the brakes.

I know I'm very animated, I know. So go ahead, go on this fun journey with me is Life doesn't have to be so serious, right? You already have 90% of it being serious. So today is that place you come into to laugh a little at yourself, to giggle a little bit out loud, to put a bigger smile on yourself so that way you can actually start to reset.

Hit the brakes and almost like pull over, okay? Almost pull over. And when you pull over, I want you to slow down, and I want you to really assess where you truly are with the lens of grace, compassion, kindness for yourself, acceptance, love. And these are some very important topics to talk about because I said many times society teaches us that give, give, give, give, give, do, do, do, do, do, take on more, more, more, more, more. In all of that, you're depleting because you are not reinventing yourself and bringing the lens inward. And this is critical when you are trying to do something differently. You have to take a step back and you have to reset. So pull over, and right now I want you to write down 3 things, 3 things when you're looking at your life that you're assessing where you are, right? Where are you Where are you in a place where you don't want to be anymore? And when you know where you don't want to be, I, I'd love for you to write this one down: stop clinging to familiar things. Okay, stop clinging to a form of behavior that no longer makes you happy. Stop clinging to doing something that drains you. Stop clinging to how much you give when you receive hardly anything in return. And you may say, Ambereen, that's kind of a pretty horrible way of looking at it. Well, maybe, but what you're doing isn't working, because when you stop clinging And when you start to create a little bit more time for yourself, you can start to set up new rules and not take the baggage along even further. You're here today because you are ready to reinvent yourself and the relationship that you have with you. And as we're diving into this conversation, is You understand and you realize that there's a lot of baggage that you wake up with every day, that 80% of negative thoughts is— a lot of it is baggage, and you no longer want it. Okay, so create a list of those 3 things where you acknowledge and you assess that you are in a place that you no longer want to be.

Now comes the fun part. You know what you don't want to have, don't want to be, right? Don't like a specific thing or area in your life. So if I were to be talking, I said, I no longer want to work with clients who are not ready to invest in themselves and in their own transformation. Do I see a potential for you? Yes. Do I want to get you there? Yes. But am I the coach to take you there if you're not invested in yourself? No. I only want to work with people who are ready to invest in themselves. And if you're not, kudos to you. There are millions of coaches already waiting to help you out. I'm just not your coach because the curriculum that I have The way the program works is the 90 days holistically used level up. So we're talking about reinvention today, right? This reinvention happens in live, in one-on-one coaching, 50 minutes every single week. Why 50 minutes? It's the most remarkable time that research shows we're able to focus, bring forth the highest level of mindset, thought set, be fully present before we need to kind of reset. It's virtual. The coaching is one-on-one and virtual, which means you can hop on while you're still on vacation, while you're, you know, in between work meetings, while you are at— it's nighttime and your kids are falling asleep. So that's very easy and conveniently thought of for you. Why?

So you have every reason to say yes to yourself versus me having to kind of drag you into your yes. I don't want to work with clients like that anymore. So you have to be self-enrolling. So in that list, now let's think about what is a new destination that you want to get to. So what 3 things do you want to do now in place of that?

What 3 things you are like, no, I accept this, it's not working.

Now where do you want to go? This is very important.

Why?

Because now you're creating an actual vision for the relationship that you have with yourself. I no longer want to put up with the disrespect from my teenager.

Hands going up. Yes, they are. Why? Because in the society we are taught, oh my God, the teens, such a horrible stage to be in, such a horrible age. They're just yelling and screaming and the hormones are all over the blah blah blah blah blah.

Well, 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, the teens had hormones. The difference was the parents expected differently. The parents did not appreciate, accept, or tolerate disrespect in the home regardless of your age, regardless of the tough teenage years. What did that teach us? Tenacity. As young adults, as teenagers, we learned to be tenacious. We learned that we could be feeling something and not understanding what our body is doing and the emotions that we have, yet we still had to push forth and bring character to the front versus our moods and our feelings because we were in a space and in a funk.

Slamming doors? No way! Back then, poof, you got slapped for slamming doors, right? Like, you know what I'm talking about. You don't have to be the one doing it now, but what I'm saying is, as a mother of 3 teenagers, I know how tough it can be.

Yet I'm telling you that I have done it. My kids know what is accepted in the house and what is not. Slamming doors, yelling, screaming, disrespect—

no go. Those things get you strikes.

Strikes get you in trouble. Get in trouble means that your privileges are taken away from you.

Why?

Because that's what you are doing. Nothing that I want to give to you, nothing I want to do. This is how your behavior has consequences. And I told you that Nobody changes unless there are consequences.

Love doesn't change anyone for the better or for the worse. It's a remarkable thing. Love is—

it's a verb, it's an action word, right? Love is an action word. When you action something, when you love someone, you are maybe willing to change for them, but your behavior shows that change, right? Love alone is just a word. And even love, right? Like, it's such a different way that people would describe it. I can change the way I'm treating my sister if it's disrespectfully after she talks to me because I love her, but it's my actions that are speaking louder. So let's come back to that, right? So now when you create this new destination with 3 things that you want to start doing to get there, you've now just created yourself a new roadmap. How fun is that? Look at you doing the work. Let's dive into mistake number 2 and reworkshop that so you can reinvent yourself. Okay? I said you're asking the wrong questions.

And remember, all of this must be a part of your notes. Why? Now you have a blueprint you're creating. You are actually Taking that road I talked about, life is a road, ups and downs, right? You don't know when the mountaintops are coming.

And so you wanna make sure you avoid the ditches, that forced stop, that kind of you have to hit the emergency brake versus you choosing to pause and reset. So when you're asking the wrong questions, I want you to ask this question, what do I not want to do? And I alluded to this a little bit, right, above, where it's like, what's not working? This time around, it's a very simple question in place of it. What do I not want to do? And the reason why this is so important is because human beings, we are really not good at predicting the future.

Even though we are always in pursuit of it, we think we know how to get there.

We're not really good at predicting it. If someone told me, Ambereen, in 4 years coaching is the vehicle and your programs which are catered to women, to parents, and to couples will be the venue that you take to impacting the world on a global scale, I would have told you 5 years ago, ha, you're hilarious, right?

You are so funny. That's not even a thing. What is that? Are you talking about— is that a job? Can I get that job? How do I get that job? Who am I working for?

Oh, you're working for yourself. We are not good at predicting the future, although we feel like we are. So when you ask— start asking yourself, what do I no longer want to do? What doesn't fill me anymore? It creates a list of things that almost are like red flags, that when this shows up, you know that something needs to be reassessed. And always remember, sometimes we have what people want, and inside of our body, this hormone or this feeling of jealousy takes over.

And then you can feel it all over.

You can feel it in your blood. You—

there's a shift in your energy because someone has the car that you want, the purse that you want, the husband that you were like, man, why isn't mine like that? Or the wife that's like, just like, someone looks at her and someone sees her character and like, whoa, man, that is a lady.

That jealousy is an indicator. That you have— that they have something you want, that they have something your heart desires. Now take that and find out, well, what am I putting up with that I no longer want to? What don't I want? Why isn't my marriage that way? Why am I not making enough money to be able to afford those things that I want to? Because today it's a relationship with yourself. The more honest you are, the more transparent that you are, the more accepting of where you are, the more likely you are to get to where you want to go, which is that new destination we talked about, right? That new map that you're creating. So jealousy is—

it's sad, yet it's kind of like our heart's radar to be like, uh, you keep going this way, but I really want us to go the other side. Right?

And only through making that change intentionally will you start to see those changes in your own life, okay? And sometimes we take things at face value and you start to shrink your vision, right? You start to think that I can never afford that car, I just can't. I probably will be working a 9-to-5 for the rest of my life and 'there's no way I can have that car. That car is worth like my whole year's paycheck. I can't do that.' Well, there's no need to shrink your vision. There's no need to shrink any part of your desire.

Why?

I truly believe if it's in your heart and if your soul craves it and it's meant for you, the question becomes Are you looking at it with 3, that you're approaching reinvention as an emergency?

You're like, this must happen. Yes, it must. It's an emergency. Like, let's drop everything and take care of this right now.

No, um, it's okay to hit those brakes.

Yes.

And as you hit those brakes, I want you to take a step back and make decisions from place of alignment. When I say the word alignment, write down and share with us what comes up. What comes up for you when I say the word alignment? Is it more freedom to have the time to do the things you want to do? Is it more joy? Is it more deep, rich, meaningful connection? Is it more presence? Or is it even something else? You see, it doesn't really matter what it is as long as you know what it is. Why this— why is this so critical? It's so critical because we are taught to be in a, in a world where all of us are trained to be reactive. And the more reactive that you and I are, the more difficult things are going to be. The more reactive you and I are, the less anything will change. Remember I told you 80% of our thoughts are the same as the ones from yesterday? They're just reactive thoughts. They're on autopilot. You're really not creating from a place of wholeness or creating in a different light. And when I say wholeness, it's really important because I was working with a client recently and I asked, said, when you leave the home, you know, to even get something that you need, something that's important, how are you operating?

Well, because I need it. I gotta leave the house. I have to leave the house because I need it. And that's happening, so I need to do this one.

Need, need, need, need, need. See, neediness isn't a sign of your fullest potential. Neediness stems from lack, not having enough of something, so you need this thing, right?

You need that new purse, you need that car, you need those things because you feel like you're not enough without those things. Or your worth and your value is not good enough without those things.

That's not the truth. That's not the truth at all. You are whole as you are. That doesn't mean you can't elevate, level up, desire more, work smarter to attain the life that you desire, not only for yourself but for your loved ones too. And so being reactive puts us in a place where we're always like in this place of neediness. So I asked my client, and that's what he said, said, what would shift for you if you stepped into being and feeling whole? If you made a decision today that I'll never step foot outside unless I'm feeling whole, because I know— and I'm someone who is an individual of faith— for you, this could be universe, this could be your higher self, it could be your best self. However you want to think about it, that doesn't matter. Wholeness means that you are complete as you are, where you are. Why do I say that? Because I've been there. I've been exactly where my client is, just reacting to everything in life. React, react, react, go, go, go, go. And in this go, go, go chain, so to speak, I recognized that I was never feeling like I was enough.

Regardless.

I told you, in my marriage, I would do everything and nothing would make me feel like I was enough. I was still miserable. I was trying to still figure it out. I was still grinding through it like it's some project that has a delivery timeline. And this is the story of that fourth mistake, right, is you're not looking as this reinvention and to create, right, like to create a reoriented version of you across the wrong timelines. What I said is the fourth mistake. So you're almost not inspired to make the right decision. You're not inspired internally to listen to your heart and kind of to ground within. That you're not expire— you know, you're inspired to expand your thinking. To know that you can create and adapt competencies, skill sets, to really level up. So this client of mine said, I've never thought about it that way, Ambereen. I've never thought about it as an expansion of me, that neediness is kind of taking away from me, whereas wholeness, it's kind of expanding my— expanding The way I think about me, the way I operate, the visions that I have of myself and my life and for my family. And this is the expansion that every single one of us needs to start thinking about. When everyone is a priority but yourself, you're expanding in every area except for here. And the one common denominator that you and I have in this journey of life is us.

Folks, we are the only ones who are always going to be with us, right? Like, raise your hand if you're— if someone else can live your life for you. No, impossible. If someone else can take your breath for you, no, impossible. You are the only common denominator of your life. So why are you not prioritizing yourself? To be the most expansive version of you.

In the timeline of expansiveness, you're not looking at life as an emergency. You're not looking at life with this just tiny little focus. Expand, like take up space, get really big, right? Look at me, I can't even take up enough space.

I'm getting cut off. Okay, so I really want you to think about it like that.

I want you to expand your space. It's essential. Being expansive means thinking of life far years ahead. Far years ahead. 5 years is a great place. 5 years gives you 60 months. In 60 months, you could definitely reinvent yourself.

And I alluded to that. If someone told me 5 years ago that, "Hey Ambereen, in 4 years you would be doing this, you would be impacting the lives of millions of families globally in 5 years," I would say, "You have a great sense of humor. What are you talking about? I know I'm a coach, but I have nothing figured out." Why?

Because I hadn't learned the power of reinvention over the long scale. 60 months is a great time to take like micro actions to really bring change into not only my life but into the lives of so many people. So give yourself this opportunity to really expand that vision and think of your reinvention in 5 years. So let's take— let's kind of workshop that a little bit. It's, it's important for you and I today to think about this from a place of I'm ready. So drop in the comments, you know, share with our community, say I am ready. And when you say I am ready, you're declaring first and foremost to yourself that you are ready to make the change, to do things differently, and that you're going to give yourself the opportunity to be more in a longer time, to no longer be reactive, to be more. And it all starts— this being all starts with the mind. I said, right, I'll constantly tell you, control your mindset, control your life.

Control your mindset, control your life. Control your thoughts, create a new life. Control your thoughts, create a new life. And so That's it.

When you— Wayne Dyer the Great said, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. When you stop looking at life as you have it all figured out, you know exactly what needs to happen, right? I said the fifth mistake that people make is we feel like we are a subject matter expert in our own reinvention. Because our vision is so like narrow. But now you've expanded your vision. Out of those 80% of negative thoughts that you are thinking, how can you start today to reverse engineer that? Which one thought can you interject to break the pattern? And our brain It loves familiarity. Why? Because that's comfort. That means it doesn't have to work to protect you against something, be cautious, or stop you from doing something wrong, because it's kind of already built in. 80% of it is automated, right? 80% of your life, the way most humans are living it, is automatic, without thinking about it, just doing it. Do you think about how to brush your teeth every single day? No, you just do it.

How to make your hair, how to comb your hair or brush your hair—

no, you just do it. It's like these things that we do without thinking about the fact that sometimes reinvention means doing things a little bit differently with a bit more consciousness and intentionality. And that's where I'm really different. The client of mine that I was working with, I mentioned a little bit earlier, is he really began to see the shift from being needy to whole. And it had to do with his mindset. It had to do with the way he's thinking about it. It had to do with the, the psychology and the physiology of the energy that he's carrying when he's going out into the world with neediness versus wholeness. People began to say, there's a calmness about you. You just have a sense of certainty. You don't feel flustered anymore. And what I encouraged him to do was to adopt kind of like a mindset of a student. Instead of being an expert in his life, in his own reinvention, become the student for 60 months and say, oh, Yeah, I was thinking lack again. Okay, well, as a student, I want to operate from wholeness. Just that. When that negative thought comes in your mind today, tomorrow, 5 minutes later, 7 hours later, what are you going to do to kind of hit the brakes?

We talked about, right, hit the brakes and really go into a new way of looking at it, a different way of looking at it.

I was talking to a community of people yesterday. I was kind of giving like a small speech, a short speech, and in that they literally were asking me, "So how do you just do that? How do you just break the pattern and, you know, and interject something new in their brain?" I said, "Well, I've been doing it for years now, so it's kind of become a habit.

It's kind of become a conscious thing." So I'll pull from my resources, my, my specialized tools that every single one of my clients gets to have.

And the greatest part about the journey of coaching is it is so customized to my clients because I care about their well-being. I care about that change. I care about the legacy that they leave behind because those children that they leave behind are the next generation of wealth. The next generation of leaders, the next generation of entrepreneurs and inventors and creatives. These children that are coming into this world will lead the world after we are gone. And for me, that is the most important change I want to impact, which is why I get to work with parents to shift them into a role model mindset so that way they can start to lead their homes differently. And that's what I love to do. And because I care, I had no— I have to start with myself. So I would say to her sometimes, I would, I would say something like, a bad thought comes, I say, thank you for coming.

Which kind of reminds me that whole like jealous thing that comes in. It's like, okay, something I want, thank you for coming. Okay, I really want that X thing. Now the second thing is I often will say thank you for leaving.

It's a negative thought that's kind of on rinse, recycle, repeat. It just keeps coming every day, every couple of hours. It's taking up space in my mind that I no longer want it to have. So I very gently will say thank you for leaving. Sometimes it's old patterns and narratives that I know I have to reinvent.

And so I was talking to you guys about is reinvention, it's a process.

It doesn't just happen overnight. And in that, you know, when you start to let go of being an expert and really step into being a student, I say things to me like, "Oh, you don't belong here anymore." And they're laughing at me.

They're like, "Why you say these things to yourself?" I'm like, "Yeah, I'm the crazy woman where it's like, you know, I'm talking to myself." And they're like, 'You really talk to yourself?' I said, 'Yes, I talk to myself.

I talk to myself often.' And that's what makes me a great coach, is I coach myself all the time.

I am my number one client.

When things are not happening in the way that I desire, when I've created that new map, the new destination, and I'm not getting there, I'm coaching myself all the time to be like, oh, remember?

You did that again. You stayed up past your bedtime because your kids, you know, were having a really amazing time and they were like, oh, just one more episode, mom, one more episode. And I said, okay, fine, on a weekday. Not on my day off, on my weekday where I pulled on like my schedule and that one hour basically made a shift into my night's routine. Into my evening, into my rise time the next day.

But my kids don't know that. I know that. So those old patterns of say yes to your kids when they're so excited about something, well, not at the cost of myself anymore.

Not at the cost of people I get to serve anymore.

And that's a really big shift.

What will all this do?

Well, of course, it's gonna avoid those detours, right? And then now you're going more steadfast. That bigger roadmap, the right questions, not being a subject matter expert, not clinging on to the things that really don't matter to you anymore. And instead of going full throttle, really resetting will give you a new direction and vision for your life. And the more that you get to focus on you, the happier people around you will be. It's the opposite. We need to be in a place where we are also making ourselves a priority in our lives, so that way we can be better mothers, better fathers, amazing co-workers, remarkable leaders, great stewards, and just wonderful civilized humans again. People who actually understand that this is not a gratitude, you know, instant gratification kind of world. Life requires us to have tenacity instead of grinding through it. Now, if any of what I've said so far has resonated with you, I'm going to encourage you to just take a look at my website and learn more about coaching, learn more about the work that I get to do, the way that I'm impacting this world, and how you too can benefit from the services. Because I know either you are a leader, you are a parent, or you are married. Either way, all of us can level up. So learn more. The more that you get to know yourself and what you want to become, the more coaching will give you the tools that you need to get there.

Not only are you held accountable every single week, you're also cheered on a ton, right? Like, I will be pumping into you this type of energy, and we go really deep.

Why? Because coaching is that one vehicle, that one vessel that will allow you to tap into the root and kind of dig in and pull it out.

And then process it with a whole roadmap, a whole customized blueprint to take you where you want to go.

And that's the difference, the power of coaching. If you are ready to invest in your own transformation and you're really serious about it, just go ahead and check out my website, coachambereen.com, just the way that my name is spelled. And I'm so excited that you get to be the leaders of the next generation because today you made family development a priority by focusing on you. So as we're heading out, share. What did you love about today's conversation? What was something you took away? And share that with everyone. It is key. It is important. For us to level up together, and that means social learning is important.

So as I hop off today, I want to say I am sending you a ton of Humber G and a whole lot of goodness. Until next time, keep riding it out, keep being amazing, and see you soon. Yeah!