Coach Ambereen explains why your partner might reject valid criticism about being self-centered. The problem isn't what you're saying, it's how you say it. Wrap feedback in kindness and empathy, and they're more likely to actually listen and change.
Go back to a time when your spouse was just really mean to you, and it wasn't as much what they said as how they said it. So this is something like, "You're so self-centered, you're always thinking about you, you, you." Although this could be true, what really struck you was the way that they said it, the tone, the attitude, the body language, just the way it was communicated was so nasty that you didn't care to even listen to it, to hear about it, to ponder too much about it. Does it sound like you or your home or your marriage? There are so many things that we can do when we just realize feedback, it's a gift, and the way that we give it is the best wrapping that we can put on it. When you, me, us provide feedback like, hey, you're self-centered to your partner, and you say that with kindness, with intentionality, everything shifts. Your partner is more likely to listen, to reflect, to ponder, to think, and to even take a moment to change the way that they're doing things, because maybe you are being self-centered, maybe you aren't being as kind, thoughtful, and caring as you want to be.
