How to Get People to Do What You Want

I have a confession to make. Honestly, it's something I'm really proud of, but I'm not quite sure how the ladies are gonna react. Okay, here goes. I don't cook. I don't clean. I don't even do my own laundry. I've hired help for some of it, but otherwise, my husband does it. He even makes my green juice. He's a green juice making champion. It's fabulous. Of course, I hope that part's obvious. There's a problem. Other women tend to think, oh, you're so lucky, you found the perfect guy. And, yeah, I mean, he's pretty amazing. But even the perfect guy doesn't necessarily come out as a green juice making champion from the get go. And that brings me to today's topic. How to get people to do what you want them to do. If you're a living, breathing human being, then you can probably think of someone in your life who you'd like to motivate to do something for you. Can you think of anyone? Yeah, me too. For example, you might adore your intern, but you can't seem to get him to show up on time. Or maybe you hired a VA friend who can't seem to filter your messages, right? And you keep getting strange messages from your clients. Or it could be that you need your daughter to get her dirty dishes out of her room or your roommate to pick up the shoe collection from the front hall. It doesn't matter if the problem is personal or professional. The same tactics can be used to get people to do what you want them to do. Here are the five steps. Number one, Stop thinking about what you want. That's right. If you want people to start doing what you want them to do, you have to forget about what you want. Let me explain. People are much more consumed with their problems than they are yours. It doesn't matter how much they love you. It's just natural. So if you want to motivate someone to do what you want them to do, you have to forget about yourself and instead think, what does this person want more than anything in the world? And then, once you have an answer for that question, you need to make sure that when you go to the person for the change at hand that you want to make happen, you keep that in mind. And you show them how the change will help them get what they want, too. Obviously, there has to be a genuine connection between what they want and what you want. But I promise you can likely find one. 2. Meet them where they are. If you're having trouble getting Your team members or family members to do what you want them to do. It might not be because they don't want to help you. It might just be because they don't know how to help you. So it's time to go a step further with the empathy thing. Sometimes lack of motivation comes from a lack of know how. You see, there's this thing called the curse of knowledge that makes it difficult to know what it's like not to do something after we've learned it. So how does the curse of knowledge relate to change management? Let's say you're trying to get your 20 something brother to clean the kitchen. One obstacle preventing this guy from scrubbing the floors is that he doesn't know how. I mean, imagine it, you don't, he doesn't know how to clean the floors. If you've been doing this for a while, it's hard to even comprehend this. I mean, come on, it's not that hard. You just grab the Swiffer and go to town. But does brother know where the Swiffer is? Does he know that it needs a pad on the bottom? Does he know he needs to sweep the floor before he mops it? The point is you need to break down what you want in small pieces from beginning to end to really bring the change to life. Your VA might be screwing up your email because she doesn't understand your labeling system and it's driving her crazy or totally freaks her out. So break it down sista. Meet the person where they're at right now. Step number three, make it their idea. No one wants to be scolded or told what to do, right? Especially not your hubby. We all like to feel like we're in control of our own lives. So the next step towards change is to co create the solution. And so the other person feels like it was their idea because it is, you are going to set it up that way. Here are some questions you may ask the person who you're trying to get to change with you. What do you think a good solution to this would be? Where do you get frustrated in this process? How can I help with that? What options do you think we have? Which one do you like best? Step four, Implement. Now that you've shown the person what's in it for them, met them where they're at and made it their idea, it's time to hit the ground running. If you're implementing a professional change, this can mean developing a new training program, spiffing up your operations manual, having a one on one training with your VA or giving them a checklist. Easy, right? If you're implementing a personal change, this could mean making a household cleaning schedule or creating a super detailed grocery list. Step 5 Be patient. It takes time for people to develop new habits and get used to new systems. If you notice any serious hiccups in your new master plan, make sure to fix them ASAP so you don't make the problem worse. Otherwise, don't expect perfection right away. Code on the compliments, layer on the smiles, and positive reinforcements every time your daughter takes those dishes from her room to the sink, your brother mops the floor, or your web designer calls your cell just the right time of day. There you go. That's Change management. The best part about this change management process is that it's not slimy or sleazy. You're genuinely looking for what the other person's interest and trying to create a win win situation. Instead of scolding, yelling or bribing, we're helping giving them genuine interest and motivation. And instead of developing external solutions and incentives for a situation, we're building a long term sustainable model. If you don't take action though, nothing will change. So what's one change you're trying to inspire in either your professional or your personal life? How do you plan to use these five change management steps to make it happen? And then don't forget did you find this video useful? I'm sure you could think of someone who needs this advice. Please share it on Facebook or Twitter. Haven't hung out@niceops.com yet? Get your tush on over to niceops.com n I c e o p s.com right now and learn how to turn your business into a full blown empire. See you there.