How to Make More Money with a Chilled, Easy, Fun and Abundant Life

Hey, everyone. Welcome to this amazing interview that we are so lucky to be having with Denise from TheLuckyBitch.com.

Hey, Denise. Hey, Amber. It's so good to see you. And I want us, you know, to have that really juicy conversation for people today. Like stuff that you and I would talk about normally. We hit record and we're letting other people hear it as well.

I love that idea. I was thinking like when we were talking two minutes ago, like, oh, we should get this on recorded. Yeah. I am so with you. And I have actually been thinking about you a lot lately because so background everybody. Denise and I have known each other, I don't know, 2010 or 11.

Yeah, 11. I joined base school, so that's when.

11 for sure. Because I joined in 2010, the very first year. It's crazy to think that it's been so long and we've met in person a few times and we've connected online a lot and we have babies that are the similar ages. So we've got a lot of connections personally, professionally, and we've just been in similar networks. So we know each other. And I love Denise's work. It is with somebody. Actually. I've recommended her book so much. There are two books I recommend, a good bit, a book called Business Brilliant.

And then until they maybe read my book and then they're like, oh, okay, I get it. That's why I'm holding myself back. That's why I feel shitty about charging people. That's why I haven't been able to increase my prices for five years or even if you're in a job. Like maybe that's why, oh, I haven't asked for a pay increase. So it's really all those old stories and beliefs that we have around money, and not just even about money, but our ability to have pleasure in our life, which you and I were just talking about as well.

That is a money block.

When women don't allow themselves to have pleasure in their life and to accept things like how good can they really get? How much pleasure and richness of life are you allowing yourself to receive? So it's not always just about the cold, hard cash.

Yeah. And just to fill everyone in on that. So most people who will check out this video from my community know that I recently moved to California and we had planned that I would be here for a longer term time. But I got here, I'm like, change of plans. I don't want to be a single parent for that long. So change of plans, honey. We're Going to do this six months at a time. So basically right now I'm in California for six months because Matt went away on a long term project which, you know, as he was leaving, I'm like, why did I say yes to that? Now we're into it and I am so in my element. I love California. I'm happier. And so many people comment on it. They're like, california, I'm like, I love Californ. Like, well, California loves you. So many people have said this to me because my energy is different. Like I met someone at the start of the year, Rick Mulready actually, and I talked to him a couple weeks ago. He's like, your energy is totally different. Like, really? Because it's not that I was unhappy before, but something wasn't right. And I could feel that something wasn't right. My husband and I knew that we didn't want to live where we were living. We were in the middle of changing our life. And so that doesn't happen overnight. But it took a long time to get to this and a little Zoloft, if I'm going to be honest. But it was, it's been an amazing transition. So speak to that. Like, what other blocks? So if you were going to speak to that and speak to that for everyone who's listening, what comes up around pleasure and blocks?

I think a lot of us have a story about what life would be like with more abundance, whatever, and we think of it as we'd be a different person. You know, it's like, you know, like be really good at saying affirmations and that would be enough. Not realizing that there was another layer to personal development, which is the money mindset stuff. So for me, it probably was my late twenties that I started exploring that for myself. I am. I met a lady called Kendall Summerhawk who is brilliant. She talks about money and money, marketing and soul. Her stuff is. And that's when I started realizing that personal development is great, self help is great, and you can be the most motivated person in the world. But without dealing with your money blocks, you will never allow yourself to profit from your skills and talent. That's really key.

Okay, so how do you define a money block?

So a money block is really anything that stops you from making more money. It could be a belief, it could be an old story, it could be a sabotaging pattern that stops you from making money. And I think most people have them, I really do believe that. But some people don't realize they have them until they maybe read my book. And then they're like, oh, okay, I get it. That's why I'm holding myself back. That's why I feel shitty about charging people. That's why I haven't been able to increase my prices for five years. Or even if you're in a job, like, maybe that's why, oh, I haven't asked for a pay increase. And so it's really all those old stories and beliefs that we have around money, and not just even about. About money, but our ability to. It's like, here's me now, and I'm really imperfect and, you know, I have all these, you know, I'm not perfect is probably usually a thing, or I'm not enough. But one day in the future I'll be this perfect person and then I'll allow myself to have all of the things that a rich perfect person would have. And what you really need to get is that you're going to be the same person with or without money, exactly the same. So you've got to start allowing yourself to receive abundance now. And that's not just always about the money. Sometimes it's about making decisions that make you happier, like, where are you going to live or how are you going to spend your days, all of those things. Because money isn't just about, like, making more money, isn't about private jets and, you know, the crazy, crazy wealth kind of stuff or, you know, luxury goods or whatever. But back when I was making not very much money, I was thinking, oh, my God, when I make six figures, I'm going to like, basically have my own private jet. Like, I'm going to be so rich. And then you get there and you realize, oh, that's not how I want to live my life. So so much of it is about creating richness and that's about the discernment to know what's going to make me happy. And also allowing yourself to profit from your skills and talent in that way. So you might not need to make as much money as you think you do to have the life that you want. Tim Ferriss talks about this in his book, right? He's like, everyone wants to be a millionaire, but really you want the lifestyle that you think a millionaire would have, and that doesn't always cost you a million dollars.

Yeah, and I firmly believe, like, right now, this pivot, like, I feel like I'm living a million. Like, I don't do my laundry, I don't make my own green juice. I mean, there's so much like this, this feels really good. Like, I feel really abundant right now, and there have been no income shifts. In fact, we've actually taken pay cuts. My husband did a job change, and it was a pay cut, and it still feels really good. So I love everything you're highlighting there. What would you say? I remember we were at a conference once together, and somebody was on stage. I won't call them out just in case, but somebody was on stage, and they're like, you want a cashmere sweater? Change your money mindset. Go buy that cashmere sweater. And I looked at you, money mindset expert like, Denise, I don't want a cashmere sweater. Does that mean I have, like, is my money mindset off? And so. Because I feel like there's a lot of information coming at us, like, do what you want. Go get that sweater. You want more. You want to make more. Put yourself in that place where. And I was talking to someone even this morning, and she was saying, so many people just tell you to hustle and push and go, go, go, go. What if I. So we're kind of being conditioned to want more, even though there is a little bit of a movement right now, right? So minimalist. But there's still tidbits like, you want.

It, go get it.

You want less. You want, like, whatever it is. So how do you. How do you speak to some of that? What's your reaction to that? And I know what you said to me. I loved it.

Yeah. Oh, well, good. You have to tell me what I said then. But I think the fake it till you make it stuff is really detrimental to some people, but also, it's not what everybody wants. And I am very susceptible to NLP techniques. And so when I go to events like that, and I don't anymore, but when I did, you know, where people would talk about get rich, and I was so susceptible to it, I felt like a real loser that, you know, I was like, I don't want a really fancy car. Like, that doesn't turn me on. So it can feel really hollow because you feel like you have the path to abundance, might be buying expensive things, for example. And I think what we do in, especially in my work in the boot camp, we talk about the concept of upgrading your life that's not going more and more and more and more expensive. It's finding areas of your life that don't work, that make you feel stressed or poor, upgrading them to the stage that feels really good for you and then working on something else. And it doesn't mean you might stop at a level that isn't very outwardly abundant or rich, but it makes you feel amazing. And that's what it's about, Finding every area of your life that feels good to you. Now, you might be surprised or not, but I was trying to think of how many pairs of shoes I own, right? Because that's the whole thing, wealth wise. It's like, oh, look at my closet and look at this. And I think I probably have, like, maybe six pairs of shoes, if that, right? Because it's just not. Does not turn me on. And I live, like, where you live. I live in a beach town, right? I wouldn't be wearing, like, big, fancy shoes. That doesn't turn me on. But then other things turn me on, like not having to do my own laundry that turns me on so much, and having food delivered. So that's where I choose to spend my money. I have a yoga instructor that comes to my house because that makes me feel good. But my hubby, he bought me a handbag when George was born. You know, like, push present kind of thing. And he bought me this beautiful, expensive, bespoke fucking handbag with my monogram on it. And I'm like, what am I gonna. What am I gonna do with that? Like, where am I gonna take it to the beach? Like, is it my new diaper bag? No. Does not turn me on. So it's really no one. For a lot of us women, no one's ever asked us what we'd like before. And it's hard to know. And that's part of becoming a wealthy woman. Is that power of discernment, not buying things, because you think that's what a wealthy person would do, or peer pressure or keeping up with the Joneses, but actually creating your life totally on your terms. And it's actually really hard. Like, when someone goes, what exactly do you want? We're like, oh, crap. I don't know. I don't know what I would like if money wasn't the main object, you know, main driver in that conversation. It takes practice.

So in that situation, when you get something that you were like, oh, that was nice. Thank you, but I don't really need it, or what it. Well, how do you engage and respond? Because something that I had to learn was to be grateful and, you know, okay, receive. That was a nice gift.

Thank you. Yeah. Especially for girls, right? We're taught, you know, get what you're given, be grateful. So occasionally, Mark has bought me jewelry, and there's been times I've said to him, look, is it okay? Can we return this, you know, like, can we return it and get something else that I would prefer to, like, prefer better? And so he's learned a little bit more about my taste in stuff. Has not necessarily super fancy, but for this bag, I've just said, you know, I said, you know, I really don't have anyone to take this, but I will receive it and it's beautiful. And I'm sure one day in the future I'll go to a conference again when the whole kid's a bit bigger and I'll take it there and it'll be wonderful. But I think you have to train people in your life a little bit too, just to be like, I don't want. I don't want that. That's okay. Like, here's what I would like instead. And be okay with that. Like, be okay advocating for yourself and asking for what you want, and also be okay with what that means. You know, as well, like, we're buying a house at the moment. Like a really big expensive piece of land. And Mark goes, I wonder if the, like, the realtor is judging me on my car. Because Mark's, you know, he's got just a normal car. It's not a super wealthy car. And I said, who cares if he does? You know, like, whatever. You know, we turn up to our financial advisor meetings in Lululemon because we don't care anymore. You know, we're not really. We're not doing it to impress other people anymore. And there's real, like, freedom in that.

So what would you say prompted the big shift for you? Or did that evolution take time for you also?

Yeah, it does. I think it's a matter of, like, what about this? Do I like this? And asking yourself and checking in, you know, buy. Go buy yourself a pair of shoes that you've always wanted to buy and see how they feel. You might love it. You might go, this isn't for me. And there's power in that. But I think where you have to overcome is the feeling of, oh, I'm not allowed to have that. I'm not allowed to have that. Instead it's like, maybe I like it, maybe I don't. Why don't I try it and see? And then it's a process of kind of elimination. Mark was actually even saying he really wants a really lovely car at some point. And I'm like, dude, we've got young kids. Like, now's not the time for your really nice, expensive car. Like, you know, our car has been vomited in several times. You Know, like, there's a season for stuff. And, you know, he's better with that now. I think his ego was a little bit bruised at the start because I was like, you ain't getting a nice car. You're not gonna be driving around in a nice car. And I'm in the vomit mobile. That's hilarious.

I don't care much about cars either. So Matt drives the nice car in our family. He loves it. He drives a lot. And my daughter actually had to go pick something up the other day, and she was in Maryland in the car, like, dad's car's a mess. I don't think he remembered. He should have cleaned that before he left. And he's usually really good, but. Oh, yeah, it's totally in all of our vehicles right now.

But, yeah, most of us as women, we've never really being given the chance to design our lives exactly the way we want it. And it might look different than you thought it might. You know, like, again, I thought Rich Denise would be really super fancy and have, you know, flawless makeup all the time and be really thin and wear fancy clothes. And the reality is Rich Denise is very casual and very kind of lazy and same as I always was, unfortunately.

It's funny because I'm constantly. I constantly re. Evaluate. Is this the life you want? Right. Because you learn different things and you experience different things. You're like, oh, I just tried that. I kind of want that now, like, pivot, adjust, change course. And so we're constantly, as a family, reevaluating what we want and then aligning what we're individually doing to match up to that. But I also, now that I'm here, I mean, I'm to your point, in flip flops, every day, I've gotten rid of so many shoes. Like, oh, why did I even bring these out here? I'm gonna have to go get something to cover my toes. But I'm still checking myself, like, oh, am I too casual every day? Or if I go to the airport, if I go to a business meeting, like, oh, should I dress up? So I'm still, you know, monitoring myself a little bit. And I think that's the beauty of the work that we do in the Lucky Bitch Boot camp is. And I believe this, even in business, when I'm. I'm evolving, right? Even the very practical stuff. New level, new devil. And I've heard you say that before too, but there's always something new coming. We're going.

Okay.

All right, let's try this on for size. Like, all Right. Adjust what's coming up now. And which is why I love that your program is always open, like you're all, you're always in it. There are always people in the community hanging out. And now you've got the live version coming up. So you will be there helping people through that too, which is going to be an incredible experience.

Yeah. And the reason why, you know, I just had a baby like five months ago. Right. So I've been in a bit of a bubble this year and I came out of it and I felt this real calling to do a live version of boot camp, which we haven't done since 2012, I think. And I didn't realize why I was feeling the calling to do it because I like my life pretty easy and chilled.

Right.

And I love being able to just to dip in and out of the boot camp community when I feel like it. So, you know, for years I was like, I don't want to do calls because that will just impede on my chilled lifestyle. But I felt this calling and I didn't know why. And then I heard from so many people that they're really struggling with their mindset right now that, you know, the sky feels like it's falling out of the industry or, you know, marketing's not working. All this stuff that I was hearing and I was like, oh, I didn't realize this was happening. But now, and at every transition point, mindset is more important than ever and you really have to get back into the flow of your mindset stuff. And so I think, God, the momentum of 3,000 women doing all this work together, plus the live calls and life community will be so much fun. And I want to do it as well because you know, I want to expand even further next year. And I always hit my self imposed ceiling, post ceiling as well, you know, and I think what else could be possible for me? So I'm going to be riding there in the trenches with everybody.

Oh, I can't wait. And I'm going to be there too. I am so excited to go through this live and I've got some new stuff coming out in my business and I know I, I am hitting blocks. So I'm practicing right alongside with everyone and practicing.

Absolutely. And but the good news is you never get to a stage where you're not in practice. You know, you will be doing this work forever. And we were talking about this as well. It's like Louise Hay just turned 90 years old and she probably still works on her self love and practices every day and so it's like, what makes us think that we're just going to do it once? Like, I remember my first year of business. Mark's like, give me another course. Like, don't you know everything by now? And I'm like, no, that's not how self development and self education works. I'm a lifelong learner. That's what I do. And same with any kind of clearing stuff. It's not like you just go, oh, don't you know everything about your money blocks now? Aren't you just perfect? It's like, no, there's always new layers.

Always, always, always. And then I find even, like, my kids, which I kind of forgot about. Audrey's in school now. She brings home new stuff. And it brings up stuff for me as a kid that I haven't dealt with in years that like, oh, that's a new thing. I gotta deal with that too now.

Well, I actually just put it. When I revamped the boot camp last year, I put in a module about how to talk to your kids about money. And the same stuff was happening for me, right? I was like, oh, my God, did that just come out of my mouth? Because I didn't realize some of these things are so ingrained. Like, don't play with money. It's dirty. You know, don't put your money on the ground, Someone might steal it. These things were coming out of my mouth and I'm like, I have been teaching money mindset for years, and why is this coming up? And it's because these things are so ingrained, even birthday party. Blow out your candles, make a wish. Don't tell anyone. It won't come true. I was like, what? Oh, my God, that is so ingrained in us. And that's why I was like, oh, that's why some people come into the boot camp and they go, oh, I don't want to set my goal, Denise. You know, like, it doesn't feel safe to talk about your goals. I was like, oh, my God. It took having kids to get some of those new things that gives me.

Crazy goosebumps because we are super protected. And we every year in the plan a thon and with all of my clothes, clients were very open. And that's a shift that we make from the very practical perspective is to start talking about money and your revenue goals, because that's what other business owners do. Talk about your failures. It gets easier after that, right? And the money goals is one of them. So we challenge and invite people to post your goal cards. Where do you want to be in a year. And, boy, does a lot of stuff come up, even for me, around it as I'm posting it and sharing it. I really want to post it this year.

There's so many layers to it. Right? And that's the work we do in the Bootcamp is uncovering some of those layers. And even now, because I talked to Willow about money all the time, and she knows that I work with money, that I let her play with coins. And I don't say it's dirty. I'll just say, we don't put money in our mouths. We take care of money. Little, like, nuances like that have really helped. We were out for dinner the other day. She was playing with her money, and the waitress said, oh, honey, don't play with that. Money's dirty. And her. Willow's face was like, no, it's not. You could see she was just like, it's really not. But she didn't want to say it. She was like, no, money is not. So there's nuances that we all have to learn. That's my word for the week, is nuance. But there's, like, little tweaks that we need to make around some of the stories that are holding us back, not just for making more money, but receiving more abundance and living richer lives in all ways.

Yeah, I love the reframe on all of this from not just about making money, but it's really about that abundance and living the lifestyle that you want through whatever it is. And one of the things I love in the community that people oftentimes share just those upgrades. I think it's the only place on the Internet where it's, like, random and people just get it. Like, there's such. It's such a great community. But I even think about the community when I'm like, oh, new towels. I don't always post it. I'm like, I could post this. I should share this.

You should.

I don't get back to it all the time.

And again, sometimes it's not about spending more money. Sometimes it's about decluttering things that don't work for you. And so some people are like, oh, I made this upgrade by actually letting go of lots of stuff and making it simple and finding the perfect solution for me and my life. Not the most expensive. It's not always the most expensive one, which is cool. It's responsible as well. I think it's, you know, environmentally and fiscally responsible, not just to spend for spending space.

Yeah, I love that. And long Term. Right. Getting back to Louise, one of the comments that you made, were chatting previously is like, you don't have to do it all in a year. You don't have to do it it all. You don't have to spend it all. You don't have to have it all in a year. And I think you're right. It's responsible to even think long term about where we're going. What are our retirement plans, even as business owners or as women, that's something that we traditionally have not thought about and planned for as much. And I love thinking about that long term too. So you plan for retirement really well, I'm guessing yes.

I mean, I have financial advisors to help me do those things. Some of it's automatic, so I don't have to think about it. But it's more for me, I have this long term view that I'm going to be doing this work for a long time and there's no rush to do everything all at once and that it's okay. And to know that I'm going to be a lifelong learner. And I joked to someone about it the other day, I said, we're going to be lucky old bitches together. Don't worry. So great.

And I love the Louise Hay, like that face and that picture years from now. Beautiful. Not a bad place to be.

No, it's not. And, but also we have to take care of ourselves, you know, and do some of those things like save for retirement, but also have a long term view of our business that sometimes, you know, we might have dips. Maybe we're not going to grow each year. Maybe sometimes we have stagnant growth, sometimes we'll have big growth. But it's about, you know, being in a place where that doesn't matter. You know, that you feel good and you feel rich and you can ride out the kind of external waves a little bit.

Yeah. So good, man, I, you know, I could chat with you forever.

Oh, my God. I know.

I think that absolutely everyone needs to join us in a live version of the bootcamp because it's going to be so fun to go through it together. And to your point, just the amazing energy that's going to be there with more than 3,000 people going through it. So I hope that everyone joins us. But it's open anytime, so people can hop in.

You know, it is an Evergreen program, so yeah, you can join next year if you want to. But the whole point about joining now is that we're going to do it live together. We haven't done that for three years. I don't know when we'll do it again. And that's just not marketing speak. It's just, it's not my jam. It's not how usually I do my business. So, you know, that all kicks off first week in November with all the live calls and live challenges and all that kind of stuff. But there is an early bird rate that ends 27th of October, you know, so yeah, you can wait but now's the time to do it, you know, if you need that momentum, accountability, the live kind of stuff. And also, you know, you want to save a bit of money off the live version, then jump in. And Amber, I know you're, you know, a proud affiliate and I think you've got a special link as well that you can tell people.

Yeah, we've got a special link. This is absolutely something like I said, my clients told me you should make this required for everyone. Right. Who's going into strategy and the practical and implementation in your business. So my clients recommend it. I recommend it. There are so many great people hanging out in your community, so I think we should all be hanging out there with you. And I can't wait for people to learn from you this round.

Yes. And what's your link?

My link? NiceOps.com Denise. Thanks, girl.

That's okay. I'm doing like 15 interviews this week. I'm like, guys, tell your link. Like be visible. It's okay for you to make money out of recommending something. That's fabulous. Yeah. So it's really fun. And yeah, as I said, now's the time and we'd love to welcome you into the community and start these upgrades of creating your version of a first class. Life might be different from ours, but it's your version and give yourself permission to do that.

I'll see everyone there and if you have any questions, definitely, please feel free to reach out to me privately as well. And Denise, I know you've got all sorts of help or people who will provide more information if anybody has questions. So Denise, me, we've got you covered.

Yes, exactly. And we can't wait to see you in this.

Bye, everyone.

Bye.