Three Questions Your Teacher Wishes You Would Ask - PHH 048

Welcome to Practicing Harp Happiness, the Harp Mastery Podcast. My name is Ann Sullivan and I'm a harpist, teacher, and founder of Harp Mastery. I'm all about creating more harp happiness in the world by helping harp players like you play the music they want the way they want. But as a harpist who nearly flunked out of one of the most prestigious music schools in the world, I, although later not only graduated, but I went on to teach there. I know from personal experience that learning the harp is way harder than it looks. Here, each week on the Practicing Harp Happiness Podcast, I show you how to solve the challenges of practicing and playing the harp. Whether it's about making your fingers behave or learning music faster, or getting your piece's performance ready, or just learning to enjoy your playing every day. Sounds great, doesn't it? Let's get started.

Welcome to the show. A harp lesson is hard work for both the student and the teacher. It's a time to acknowledge progress and challenges, to take what's going well to the next level, and to find ways to make those rough patches a little smoother. It's not a performance where your teacher will judge you on how well you're playing that day. And it's not a cozy get together for tea and encouragement either, although those could be part of a lesson too. A Lesson is for learning. Now, as a student, I always knew I had a good lesson. When I left the lesson feeling a little mentally fatigued, but energized, even excited about the work we had done in the lesson and the progress that I was ready to make in the coming week, it was sort of similar to the feeling you might have after a massage, right? Your body is tired and sore, but relaxed and happy at the same time. Now, as a teacher, my favorite lessons are the ones where we work the hardest. Now, I'm not trying to be cruel about this. It's just that that work is where the progress is. I mean, we may be working on one measure or one passage. We might be bringing more expression to a piece or just working on techni. I know. I remember having one lesson with my teacher where we spent the entire hour on four notes. You see, a lesson is my opportunity as a teacher to help the student take bigger steps than he or she would on their own to push that student closer to the goal and when we can do that kind of work together. I know progress and harp happiness can't be far off, but this kind of lesson requires a lot of open discussion with input from both student and teacher. I have sometimes encountered Students who really want to be good students, you know, they want to follow the rules, they want to follow directions without question. They want to treat me as an expert and just absorb everything they can. And, you know, while I appreciate that a student trusts my knowledge and insight, if he has questions, I, I want to know now. I try to remember to ask, but I never mind if a student questions or challenges a particular strategy or a choice. Now on today's show, I'd like to share with you the three questions that I love to be asked and why I think those questions are so important. If you have a teacher you're working with, I can pretty much guarantee that if you haven't asked any of these yet, you've been missing out on some powerful learning opportunities. Even if you don't have a teacher right now, you will perhaps get a new perspective on how to find your way through the struggles of learning to play the harp. It's all about learning how to learn today. And I know that at least one of these questions will be one that you have been dying to ask your teacher. And guess what? You now have my permission. So that's our topic for today, but I wanted to remind you that we are still in the midst of technique unique month here at Heart Mastery. And our focus has been on, on the courses and resources that we have for helping you strengthen or build your technique. And today I want to remind you about a course that we have that has been a real favorite with our people who have taken it. And it's called Build, Extend, Advance. Now, this course can came out, we started it just, oh, about a year ago, almost a year ago. And we first offered it as a four week challenge. And we had a different level each week and different seminars that went along with that. And then we turned it into a course. And in fact, I'm calling it the technique course you should have had years ago. And what it is, is a course that allows you to go back to those critical building blocks of harp technique, whatever level you're at, and then to intentionally extend your.

Fundamental skills to grow them and to advance them. So we're going to build from the foundation up, we're going to extend those skills and then we're going to advance them. And all you really need is a short period of time each day to work on these things and then of course, the right focus. Now, we did this originally as a challenge, but the course itself is self directed, so you don't have to work within a particular time frame and you can spend as much time or as little time on each of these lessons as you like. But there are 15 short, really easy to follow lessons and four virtual seminars. They've been recorded and I did them live. And you'll learn a lot from those seminars. And the easy to follow lessons all have instructional videos with a play along demonstration that's there, a separate video, and of course the printable PDF music for each of those lessons. And then each of those five lessons concludes with a little refresher mini etude to help you review all the materials that are covered in that portion of the course so you can work at your own pace. You don't have to follow a particular schedule, but the members and students who have taken this course have really found it so helpful. And, and the, the little mini etudes are even, you know, little small pieces that you can use if that's what you want. One quick reminder here for those of you who are My Harp Mastery members, right? Members in our My Harp Mastery community, this course is part of your membership. So you don't need to purchase this course separately. Just go into your library and you can, you will find the course and you can start working on it right away. This is a standalone course though, so you don't have to be a My Heart Mastery member to take advantage of it. It's, it's a bargain, I believe at the price that we it for. So. But my Heart Mastery members, it's yours for free. So if you're ready to check how your technique is built and then extend your skills and advance them even further, then this is a great little course for you and I highly recommend it. You can read the recommendations of our members as well. So that's our technique focus for today. And so why don't we dive right in to these three questions today that I think you should be asking your teacher.

Let's start this way. Just cast your mind back to the last lesson you had or if you haven't had a lesson recently, you can just imagine what, what a lesson might be like or think about your favorite lesson. If you're one of my students, I realize I'm putting myself on the hot seat here, but I think that's just fine. So think back to that last lesson. In fact, I'm going to change the focus a little bit. Think back to the last really good lesson you had. You felt really good about everything you learned and you took great notes. You got so much out of the lesson and you feel really energized to go home and start your work. So you get home and you, you sit at the harp, you open up your lesson book, your lesson notes, you've got your music right there. You sit at the harp and you start, but there's something missing. And then all of a sudden, there's that little bit of doubt that creeps in and then this little bit of confusion. Maybe you go ahead and plunge away. You know, just get busy with that practice for a couple of days. And then you sort of wonder. I mean, you reread your notes, you remember what you did in your lesson, you try to repeat it, but there's something missing. I mean, are you just supposed to do the same thing that your notes said? Do you do that same thing every day for the whole week? Or maybe even longer? If your lessons are further apart, how do you gauge if it's time to move on? What should you be doing? How do you figure out if you're making progress?

Well, that is a dilemma, isn't it? And it's not uncommon. But your practice, as you know, should be informed and directed. So if you're feeling confused or a little unsure, don't take it personally. It's not your fault. It's not even your teacher's fault. There is just some essential communication that's missing. The fact is, we teachers tend to keep things in our heads. We see the bigger picture. We know where the student is going, we know the steps to get there. We know how we're going to help them through everything. We get that. But we often forget that the student doesn't have the same vantage point that we do. They don't see the path. We're able to see far ahead. Well, okay, when you do this, this happens. When you do this, this happens. And we'll see how this goes, and then we'll make a choice between these things. But we don't always communicate that to our students. So it's not that we're trying to withhold information, it's just we forget that you don't know what we do. And this is such a common situation that I have written extensively about it or about solutions for it in one way or another. I mean, I started my Heart mastery blog in 2012, so just almost exactly 10 years ago to the month. And in our blog archives at Heart Mastery, there are well over 600 blog posts. And you can scroll through every, any page of blog posts, anywhere from those 600 posts, and you'll find multiple articles that deal with some aspect either of the teacher student partnership or practice dilemmas or useful practice tactics, things designed to help the student get over that. Here I am at home. Now what do I do? Kind of hump. And here's another one. Today is another podcast devoted to that same topic. But I hope it's yet another different look at a really vital part of your heart progress. After all, we all need to hear or read things differently, and usually to read or hear them multiple times before we get it, before it connects with us in a way where we can really use the information. So that's why I'm going to put this out in yet another form and one that seems to help my students when we talk about it. So I hope it's helpful for you. So if you have ever experienced that moment where you're at home and you're not sure what you're supposed to do, let's start with the first question that I'd like you to think about and perhaps to ask your teacher about. And the question is this. The question is simply how. It's the most practical question of all. And yet sometimes we forget to ask it. So, you know, when you're in the lesson, you can ask this question or I never mind. If I hear from a student in between lessons who's saying, you know, help me, help me. Here I am at home and I don't know how to do what you asked me to do. Perhaps your how question might be how to actually do what they've asked you to do. Like, well, you know, okay, go home and get this done. Right.

I think it's sort of the harp teacher equivalent of take two aspirin and call me in the morning. It's not really all that helpful when we say, all right, so what you're going to do is you want to smooth this passage out, and then we'll be able to put it all together. So work on that this week. And you say, okay, because it sounds like a really good idea. And you get home and then you realize you're not sure exactly how to do that. Well, what we have inadvertently done is given you the results that we want without giving you our ideas for how to get those results. And sometimes we're very clear about it, and sometimes we just forget. So this is a question that's really important because when you sit at the harp, I want you as my student to know how you're supposed to do what I've asked you to do. So if the question is, how do I speed up this passage? Well, I should be able to. And I'd be happy to give you techniques for doing that, things, ways to Practice it. Things to do when you're sitting at the harp that we expect will give you those kinds of results, methods for doing that, techniques, tactics, strategies, whatever you want to call them. But I want you to know how to practice for those results that you want to achieve, right? If we want to fix a particular fingering or practice a particular fingering in, or make a passage, more even, I've had to do that myself, and I know how to do it. But if I forget to tell you, my knowledge isn't doing either of us very much good, right? Because you're going to go home and not know how to practice it, and you're going to do your best and you're going to come back and I'm going to see that we haven't made progress. And guess what? It's not because you didn't practice. It's because I forgot to tell you how. So this is perhaps the most important question you could ask, and I would love you never to leave a lesson without knowing exactly how to accomplish what we want to have happen. It might be how to practice for musicality, not just correctness, right? If I say, okay, well, now we're going to make this more musical, well, there are ways to do that, right? It could be, well, let's take a note of all the dynamics on the page and then practice very slowly with exaggerated dynamics. And then practice at once with no dynamics at all. Then go back to the exaggerated dynamics. Then perhaps think about what you want that passage to express. What would it mean? How would you explain it to somebody? What story would it tell? What color would it look like? Anything that connects your imagination to those notes. And then express that imagined quality musically. What would the dynamics be like? Do more of the dynamics. See if you can take that to the next level by putting in even a greater dynamic range, making your soft softer, your louds louder. Maybe adding some rubato, maybe adding. Adding some retards. There are ways to talk about it, and there are steps that you can follow. Ask your teacher for those. Maybe the how would be just. Well, I'm, you know, you're. We want to get rid of the mistakes, okay? We're trying to smooth this out so that all those notes are correct. Well, maybe you would need some guidance as to how to find the errors and how to fix them. I have something I call my 4F technique, right? Which is to find the errors. And usually that error comes into play. It's just one note, maybe two notes, maybe one misplaced finger that really is going to make the difference in a passage. So we're going to find the error, we're going to focus on it, we're going to fix it, we're going to fit it in. And for any particular error like that, we can create absolutely concrete, realistic, practical steps to do that. They're going to differ with the kind of error, obviously, but the technique, the basic technique is going to be the same. So you should never have to be sitting at home wondering how you're supposed to do what you want to do, what your teacher wants to do. It's not that we have the answers for everything, and it's not that, you know, it's like, all right, well, I thought this was going to work, says the teacher. But you know what? You did what I suggested, and. And it didn't get us the results we want. So we're gonna go back to the drawing board, we're gonna try something else, and we experiment with it in the lesson, see what's gonna go on, and, you know, go from there. Plan B. Right. So there's no one absolutely correct answer. But if you don't know how to practice what you're supposed to practice, your practice is going to be, let's just say, less than rewarding or satisfying. And that's not what we want. We want progress just as much, speaking for us teachers here. So, you know, let's be sure you have the answer to the question how?

The next question, and one I find is one that a lot of adult students are really afraid to ask.

Younger students are less. Less cautious about this question, and we sense it in them more readily. But adults are pretty good at hiding it and restraining themselves. But I'd love you to ask this question if this is what is on your mind. I love it when my students ask, why? Why am I doing this again? Why are we working on this technique? Why do you think this is important? Why does this fingering matter? Why do we do it this way? Why don't we do it this way? Why is or isn't this a good piece for me? Now, these are all legit, legitimate questions. They're not you being a bad student. In fact, they're you being a very good student. In my own opinion, they're not a challenge to me. I don't take them as a personal attack or personal affront. My job as a teacher is to be very personal with your heart playing. Your heart playing should be as important to me as it is to you. So the question why vital? Or at least the answer to the question, why is really, really vital, because if you don't know why you're doing it, you won't be able to put the right kind of focus, not just in terms of the amount of practice you're doing, but in terms of the precision that with which you, you know, with which you're practicing whatever it is we want. For instance, if I tell you, follow this fingering exactly, and you say to me, well, you know, it seems so much easier this way. Why is this important? First of all, it gives me the chance to really consider if it is important or not, because I have to consider my answer to you. So with a question like that, it may be that the fingering is really important here, because the fingering that you like best is going to work beautifully at that slow tempo. But once you get. Get closer to the tempo that we want to achieve for the particular piece or passage, that fingering is going to be clumsy, it's not going to work, and you're going to have to relearn it. So we're going to learn it right the first time. That may be why that fingering matters, or it may be that we're following the fingering very carefully for this etude because it's teaching us a particular pattern that we're going to encounter a lot in our real music. And we want our fingers to be really comfortable with it. So we're going to use all four fingers, perhaps, rather than just fingering it with three fingers, which we could do so much more easily right now. And that may be the entire point, right, that we need to get all four fingers involved with this to get the full flexibility and agility and speed that we want from our technique. So that might be why it matters. But on the other hand, if you've given me the moment that I need to consider why this fingering is important, and we look at it and investigate it together, it may be the kind of thing where I say, well, you know something? I don't think it's really going to matter whether you use your second finger or your third finger there. It's not going to injure you. It's not going to slow the piece down. It's not going to affect the musicality or expression of the piece. It's not going to form a bad habit. And if it suits your hand better, absolutely, I think we can do it that way. And in that moment, in that learning moment, we have been able to discuss, first of all, a number of reasons why a fingering might be important. It might not serve the piece at the right speed. It might not serve the musicality or expression of the phrase. It might not be healthy for your hand. It might be a stretch or a twist that I know is. Is potentially harmful to your hand. So it's given you information to help you make those decisions for yourself in other instances. Right. So this is not just a situational learning moment, but it's something that's going to help your harp knowledge and understanding across the board. Why is so important? Why do we do it this way? Why is or isn't this a good piece for me now is something that opens up a great discussion where I can understand more about what you love about music and what you want your harp playing to be, what you would like to play. And we can talk about why I think a piece is important or why it isn't. And it gives us the chance to really become.

True partners in your harp journey, not just in that lesson, but in where we want to go. For instance, you know, well, I don't really like this piece. Why do we think we need to do this? Well, I might tell you that I thought this is an important stepping stone in between where you are and that piece that you really want to play. You really want to get to this particular piece. Your technique's not quite there yet, but this piece is a great stepping stone piece to work you toward that. And you say, well, you know, that's wonderful, and I get the rationale, but this piece just doesn't do anything for me. Is there another piece that would do the same thing? Well, sure. There's too much music in the world for there not to be another piece. And this gives us something else to discuss and talk through and find a piece that suits you and suits your goals at the same time. So why is critical. Never just settle for that take two aspirin and call me in the morning kind of an answer.

If you. If. If that's not enough for you. Right. If you don't need an answer to that question, well, then you don't have to ask it. Of course you don't have to ask any of these questions. But. But what's really important to me is that you don't not ask them if you have them. If you want to know why, be sure that you ask. Because if there's not a good reason, then we can come up with a different way to do whatever it is we're trying to do. If there is a good reason, we'll talk about why and see what we want to do from there. So we've covered how, and we've covered why. But there is a third question.

That third question is where? I know that seems like a funny question, right? But where is the question that has to do most with goals? It's not that different from the question why or even the question how, But I offered it as a third question here because it's a different way of thinking. It's a way of thinking not just about what you're doing sitting on the heart bench that day or why you're doing it one way instead of another, but it's about where you're going, it's about your destination, it's about your harp goals. Where are we going with this? Where will this piece take me? Think about the instance I talked about just a moment ago, right? I was proposing a stepping stone piece, and perhaps I say, all right, well, we're going to learn this particular piece next. This is the one, you know, that I think would be really great for you. And your question is, why? Why is this a good piece for me now? And I say, well, it's a stepping stone piece, I think, between here and the next piece. Well, that may answer the question, where? Where are we going with this? Where will this take me? But then there's still another question beyond that. Is this really part of my goal? What is my goal? I mean, it's no good learning little fountain with an eye to eventually stepping up and learning la source, for instance, if that's not where you want to go, right? So this is all goal focused. And it's a really important question, one you don't have to consider perhaps every week, but one that you should be considering probably more often than you do. Where do I want to go with this?

What do I want to do with my harp playing? Who do I want to involve in my harp playing? Who would I like to share my music with? What's my eventual goal? And where will the learning, the work, the practice, where will all this that we're doing together, where will this take me? And is that where I want to go? It also is a wonderful way to help you determine if you're really on a path or if you're just sort of in a holding pattern doing this same old, same old kind of thing, right? This is one of the reasons that our coaching program and my Gold Circle program, the way we set up our teaching at Heart Mastery is always goal focused. And it's got an end date. Not because we want you to stop studying, but because we need a place to arrive. We need to know that we're going to a place and that we're going to get there. Not just, okay, we're going to learn another piece, you know, all right, what do I do next? It's really hard to gauge progress that way and to make you feel like you're achieving something that's going to be more important in your life than maybe just learning a heart piece. What will you do with that heart piece? You don't have to do anything monumental with it. You don't have to perform it. It can be just part of your own personal satisfaction. That's okay. But let's make sure that we're on a path and going somewhere instead of just rehashing things that we have already gone over if that's not what we want to do. Right. So where are we going? Do we need to be reviewing this? Do we need to be developing a repertoire? Do we need to be learning another piece or working toward a different piece? Where will you be in a month or in three months, or in a year? Where are we going?

This is such a key question, and I think it's the hardest one. And while every student needs to answer it for themselves. Right. It's got to be a personal answer as to where you want to go. Talking it through with your teacher can help answer so many questions. It can help you find more energy for the technique work that you're doing that may not really excite you or that piece that is going to be important. I mean, if you want to play weddings, for instance, then there are some pieces you're just going to have to learn whether you like them or not. So where are we going with this particular piece, this particular book that you recommended? Well, we're going toward developing your wedding repertoire. Oh, okay. I get it. And how long will this take me, and what will I do with it? You know, that's the start of the kind of discussion that can really keep your progress moving so much faster. So there's the how. That's all about the practical, the why, which is really understanding what you're trying to do, which will help you direct your practice and focus it every time you sit at the harp. And there's the where there's that big overarching path and that. That perspective view that we sometimes lose track of when we're down in the weeds doing our practice. Right. So those are the three questions. Now let me just share a little bit more about why I think those questions are so important. I think the real power in these questions is that they are a way to create or strengthen or begin a real partnership with your teacher. They're not questions that you would particularly use in.

A situation other than the kind of close, connected work that a teacher and student do.

Because they're deep and they require honesty and they require, I think they require the teacher to invest themselves entirely in the student's goals and to use their knowledge to help the student reach his or her goals.

But.

They create that third entity, right? It's that energy that happens when the teacher and student are both pulling in the same direction.

That's the real power in these questions. At Heart Mastery, we speak of our coaching program with these three Compass, Challenge and Champion. These are the words that all our coaches know, that they all endeavor, as I do, to live up to every day in their interactions with their students. We are a compass, as is your teacher. Whoever your teacher is, they're the guide, right? They're going to guide you where you want to go. They challenge you to do more than you thought you could do. And they champion you by encouraging you and being as invested in your progress and your heart playing as you are and to support you when you need it, to praise you when you have gone that extra mile or when you've reached that achievement and, you know, had. When you come back to your lesson, you know, and, and you've done that work clearly, even if the results don't show, right? We want to be there. We want to celebrate with you. So Compass, Challenge and champion are the words that we teach by, and they are.

The core, I think, of any teacher student partnership. So let yourself go there. Let yourself think about that relationship with your teacher from that perspective and think about how those questions, the hows, the whys and the where's can help move that relationship forward and in turn, move your heart playing forward. I think you can get creative with it a little bit too. So I look forward to hearing from you if you try those questions with your teacher. And I'm looking forward to hearing some of those questions from my own students after this.

You know, let's, let's hear what, what your experience is, what the feedback is like, and how differently you are able to approach your harp playing after you and your teacher have discussed some of that. Quick reminder about our Build Extend advance course. This course is always available for you, but if you take advantage of it now during technique month, you'll be right at the right time to do yourself sort of that extra favor, right? This is a time of year, spring, to be able to renew what, what you know about your technique, to strengthen it and to grow it. That's the key idea behind Build, Extend, Advance. Lots of videos to guide you through this. You will feel totally supported with these videos as you go through at your own pace, of course. Next week on the podcast, we're going to be talking about your wrist and how to keep your wrist healthy. But especially what your wrist when you play, how to use your wrist, how to hold your wrist and how to make it make it an equal partner with the rest of your hand and arm in your harp. Playing. It's often sort of the forgotten, the forgotten physical part here and it's so critical. So we're gonna be talking about your wrist next week on the podcast. And until we meet again, remember, every day is a day. You can add more harp happiness to our univers, to your world and to your spirit. And all you have to do is play. I'll see you next time. Thanks for tuning into another episode of the Practicing Harp Happiness Podcast. I release a new episode every Monday morning so you can hit your practice week running. Until then, remember to practice your harp happiness every day. See you next time.