Anya EzhevskayaAssistant professor at Dallas International University

I Don't Speak English

20 Jan 2014 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

2:25

In this spoken‑word monologue, the performer repeatedly declares “I don’t speak English” to illustrate the frustration and emotional weight of learning a new language. The piece moves from a simple repetition of the phrase to a deeper exploration of how limited vocabulary hampers authentic self‑expression. The speaker critiques common teaching tactics—specifically the use of reverse psychology—as ineffective for children learning English. They contrast technical proficiency in translation and linguistic manipulation with the inability to feel the language intuitively, highlighting the gap between mechanical knowledge and cultural fluency. The monologue culminates in a heartfelt confession in Russian, “Я так тебя люблю,” underscoring that true affection can transcend linguistic barriers. Throughout, the tone is reflective and poetic, conveying melancholy, yearning, and a quiet hope for deeper connection.

Chapters

I don't speak English. I don't speak English. They teach me these words first. I don't speak English. I don't speak English very well. Hi, how are you? Fine, thanks. I don't speak English. They teach me these words first. I try to write in verse, but I don't know many words to say what I feel. But my feelings are real. I don't speak English, but I'm learning fast to speak. Without words, I am weak. Though they be strange, it's me I have to change, because I have to tell you something so deep, it has to seep down into you beyond words. That's why it hurts so much, because I don't speak English. They taught me these words first. If I spoke better English then, I would have told them that reverse psychology is not the best way to go in this case. And if you want a kid to learn how to speak English, then I don't speak English is not the best way to start. But I couldn't say it then. And even now, I wonder if anybody understands, really, from the soul, from the heart, from the place where words fall apart, either into definitions or meaning, a feeling which, rather than concealing, reveals what one wants to say. But not today. You see, I don't speak English. Though I've become quite versatile with translation, configuration of macromolecular peptides, transfiguration of letters bonded together into words, what hurts is that I can make the sounds, I don't feel English through and through, the way you do, my friend, without even knowing it. My friend, you'd only know it if you too You know when you were a stranger in a strange land, where suddenly you find you can't express quite what you mean, just dance around it? I hope you understand, friend, because I don't really speak English. But if I did, then I'd tell you, Я так тебя люблю.