Bonus: Real Marriage Podcast Sneak Peek

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Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Naked Marriage Podcast. On this bonus episode, we are Dave and Ashley Willis. And on this podcast, we undress the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love. And we have a special treat for you today.

Yeah, that's right. We are part, as you may know or you may not know, the Naked Marriage podcast is actually part of a broader podcast network called the XO Network. And xo part of the Ministry of Marriage Today, which is the ministry that we're so proud to be part of. The team and our podcast family is growing in the XO Network and we're adding heroes of mine. Really, like, I've learned so much from this couple over the years, Mark and Grace Driscoll and Pastor Mark. He's been a pastor for decades. One of the most highest selling authors in Christianity as well. Just a very gifted writer. And he and Grace have such a powerful message together on marriage. And so they've taken their years of their own marriage, raising five, planting churches, really being leaders all over the world in a lot of different ways, and focusing that message specifically on marriage. And they're calling it Real Marriage with Mark and Grace Driscoll. So wherever you get your podcasts, I want you right now, while you got your phone out, to look up Real Marriage with Mark and Grace Driscoll. But we're also gonna give you a little sneak preview right here on this bonus episode. We're gonna. We're gonna let you listen to an excerpt of their very first episode. And their message, again is so full of depth and insight about what marriage means. The friendship and partnership we're called to have in marriage, the spiritual warfare we have to overcome together in marriage, what it means to put God first. And you are going to be blessed and encouraged by their message.

You are.

And when you listen to their voices on this sneak preview, you might recognize them because way back when, in our 25th episode, we actually interviewed them and it's called Spouse Equals Best Friend. So go back and listen to that if you'd like, but enjoy this sneak preview from Real Marriage.

Well, howdy, Mark and Grace Driscoll here with a real marriage podcast and.

Hello, everyone.

I'm really excited. Since we have never had an argument or a fight, and we've pretty much done everything perfectly, we're really in a strong position to share with others how they should do it. Right, babe?

Sure, sure.

Okay, so I'll give you free permission, though I might jump in and interrupt you at some point. There was a conversation. You might call it an argument. I'll give you that jurisdiction that we were having. I think it was in the bathroom. And. And it was one of those revelations that really sent us down one of two paths, for good or evil, for the future of our marriage. Do you remember that conversation? Okay, you can tell the story.

Yeah. We had been in an argument, and it was kind of a cul de sac. We just kept going back to the same place, and I was feeling really desperate, like, lord, why do we keep coming back to this place of arguing? And I just started praying in my head as you were trying to articulate your frustration. And I felt like the Holy Spirit told me to say, tell him you're not his enemy. And I thought, well, that's so strange. Of course I'm not his enemy. I'm his wife. And we've been married for, you know, 10 plus years. But I said it because I felt like that was what the Lord was asking me to do. And I just point blank told you, I'm not your enemy. And you looked at me and said. I looked at you and said, yes, you are.

Yes, you are. There is a list of dumb things that I have said in our marriage. This might make the top 10. The other was, if you worked for me, I would have fired you.

Yeah, that was priceless.

These were hugely helpful moments in our marriage. So make sure you write this down, kids. These are great coaching tips. And in that moment, you said. And we did. We had, like many couples, this cul de sac, we'd fall into this same argument. It's almost like we would repeat the same lines and then end up in the same place. And we'd both be exhausted and we'd walk away with no resolution. And you broke through it all. And I think the Lord broke through it all, you know, through you. And when you said, I'm not your enemy, out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. That is, in that moment, how I felt. Now it doesn't mean it's reality. And so what that did for me is it awakened my understanding of spiritual warfare and marriage. And it meant that we really did have an enemy. And in that moment, he had convinced me that you were my enemy. How often do you think this happens in most marriages? Most Christian marriages, a lot.

Yeah. I mean, resentment is a form of that, because the enemy comes in and pits you against each other and makes you believe that he's not the enemy, that you are enemies of each other. Other. And it's his best way of getting you to divide the home. And if you buy into that, then that's your future is division.

Well, and with that, if you're my enemy, then we're in the fight or flight cycle. I'm either going to argue and engage you, or I'm going to withdraw, retreat, do the silent treatment, parallel lives, jump in the car and leave, turn on the television and ignore. And I think this is where a lot of marriages get stuck. And they don't see it as spiritual warfare.

Well, and it triggers you to, however you were raised. So if you were raised with the silent treatment, you tend to do that. Or if you were raised in a yelling family, perhaps, then maybe that's how you defend yourself in those times. Instead of stopping and together going to the Lord and saying, okay, this isn't working. How do we unite against our common enemy and come together as husband and wife?

Well, that's where. So when we sat down to write the Win youn War book on spiritual warfare, and we'll apply it to marriage in this series of podcasts, most people think there's two of us in the marriage. There's the husband and the wife. For those who are Christians, they think, well, there's three of us in the marriage. You know, a cord of three strands is not easily broken, but a cord of four strands is. And it's not just the husband, the wife, and the Lord. It's the husband, the wife, the Lord and the enemy of the husband, the wife, and the Lord.

And we have to keep pushing the enemy out.

Yeah, we need to keep pushing the enemy out. Inviting the Lord in and understanding that there really are four people in our marriage constantly at work. And so that's what we want to get into. And I'll do a bit of theological setup, and then I want to make this really practical with Grace. She's the really helpful one. I'm your nerd friend. But I think the reason that many people don't apply spiritual warfare to the context of marriage is, number one, it's just not really been talked about much. And what you tend to get is something called cessationism, which basically teaches, you know, the ministry, the Holy Spirit and the demonic basically ceased in the first century. That was a long time ago. We've moved on. It's not like that anymore. On the flip side, you get sensationalism, which is really bad speculative teaching about Satan and demons that causes people to be scared or wary of anything that mentions the demonic realm. And then in the middle, there is the Bible, which is completely supernatural, but it doesn't teach us cessationism, that God doesn't work the way he used to, neither does Satan, or a sensationalism that everything can be blamed on Satan and demons. And so let me just unpack where we're gonna be going for you in the next number of podcasts, and start by saying that God has two families. And God's understanding of governance is family. And so he has a human family in the seen realm. He has a divine family in the unseen realm. We're very familiar with the family in the human real men, women, children. There's also divine beings in the unseen realm. In job 38, 4, 7, God has this question for Job, where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding, who determines its measurements? Surely you know, or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk? Or who laid its cornerstone when the morning stars, those are angels, sang together, and all the sons of God, those are other divine beings, shouted for joy. God looks at Job and he says, okay, you're struggling right now, but let me ask you this. Where were you when I created everything? And he's talking about beings that existed before human beings, and he calls them the sons of God. So think of this. God's a father, Jesus is a son. God's people are a family in the seen and unseen realm. And what happens then is Satan in heaven declares war on God's family in the unseen realm? He loses that war, and it comes down to the earth in the seen realm. And this war continues in your marriage. And so the case that we want to make is that the war for your marriage started before God even made the world. And so Revelation 12, 7, 9 is one of the most important texts in the Bible on spiritual warfare. It says, now war arose in heaven. And so let me ask you this question, babe. So, you know, in heaven, you've got angels and other divine beings. They are God's family in the unseen realm. And it says that war arose in heaven. Okay, so what does that mean? Some people think if we just are in church, if we're in the Bible, if we're in prayer, we're in the Lord's presence, we're together, then Satan isn't going to attack us. Is that true?

No, absolutely not. He's always trying to be crafty, just like he was in the garden. They were living in perfect surroundings and God had just given them an order to how they need to live their life. And yet in perfect surroundings, they still had the enemy attacking them and they gave in to his ploy. And so we need to be on guard for that. Again, like you said, don't blame everything on Satan. But we need to be aware of his schemes in our marriage. And he'll take our weaknesses, he'll take wounds that haven't healed, he'll take lies that people have said to us, and he will manipulate those to continue to cause division.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that sneak preview from Real Marriage with Mark and Grace Driscoll. If you wanna listen to the entire episode, and I'm sure you do, go over to your podcast and search for Real Marriage.

Yeah, they are incredible. And we are so excited that they're now officially part of the XO family. And I can't wait to listen each week. Cause every time they teach, I learn something. So check out that podcast and continue to check out the Naked Marriage podcast. We're in the middle of our Sexy Summer Quickie series all summer long, all 12 weeks of the summer. Every Monday, we're releasing a new episode. Each episode is answering One of your 12 biggest questions about sex. And we're doing it in a shorter format. All these episodes are only around 10 minutes, so you can work it into your busy schedule and then make some time to actually put those lessons into practice. We hope it's a naked summer for you guys. And we've had a lot of fun recording these and your questions have really been helpful. So check that out. Continue to stay connected to us on social media. You can find us at Dave and Ashley Willis on Instagram or just look up the word marriage on Facebook and you can find our marriage page where we post daily. And again, continue to check out all the podcasts in the XO Network.

That's right.

We'll see you next time.