Building Your Own Love Story, Not Someone Else’s

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Hello and welcome back to the Naked Marriage podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis, and on this podcast, we address the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love. And you guys, we're talking about another myth today, and Dave is going to tell you what that myth is.

Yeah, it's the myth that all great marriages look the same. So if that couple over there has a great marriage, but it's different than ours, then we must not have a great marriage, because all great marriages look the same. And I think even what we think of with the same, it's not even real people. It's what that couple in the romantic comedy movie looks like or what the Hallmark movie couple looks like or what the Disney love story looks like. So we're not even usually basing that myth on reality in the first place on a real couple, but on this idea of what marriage is supposed to be that we get from entertainment, that we get from sources that aren't even accurate. And, and then we compare our real life marriage to this make believe fantasy. And of course the marriage doesn't measure up because it's not the same thing. And people get disappointed and they think, well, this, this isn't what I thought it would be, so what's the point?

Exactly. And I think too, you can get into that rut of thinking, like, something's wrong with us, like, or what's wrong with us, like, why can't we look like that couple and talk like that couple? And you know, you know, it's one thing to be, to be inspired by healthy married people that you know in your life, but I would just, I want to tell you, there's no perfect married couple out there. Now, there definitely are healthy examples of strong marriages, but the only people that you would want to learn something about that from are people who you actually know, you know, who you actually know in real life that aren't, you know, just people you follow online or in a movie or whatever. And I'm not knocking those people. They could have a great, healthy marriage. I mean, I Don't know. But I don't really know them. I'm not doing life with them. And so, you know, I think it's great to find mentors. You guys have heard us talk about mentors. Find mentors that are 10 or so years ahead of you and learn from them. Like, you know, you look at them and you. And you think, that's a couple. I like being around. I think they seem to have a healthy dynamic. I feel like I could learn some things from them and, like, set up a dinner time with them and maybe you pay for their dinner. Host them and just learn from them, ask them your questions. I think that's great. But what we're talking about here is where you have these ideals. Like, you have this idea of, like, marriage ideals like, that you just almost idolize. Like, oh, you know, they never have any trouble. Like, I actually was listening to the Candace Cameron Bure podcast not that long ago, and she said that she and her husband, who've been married, I think, at least 25 years, they've got three kids, got married pretty young. And she said at some point in their marriage, probably more towards the earlier years and when they were raising their young kids at the time that they were in a church service, and, and. And really she made a comment to her husband, like, you know, I just don't know if we're ever going to have a marriage like our pastor and his wife. And, you know, they just don't have the problems we have or something to that extent. And she said her husband kind of flipped his head around to her, and he goes, you're not being serious? Are you like, are you joking like that? What are you talking about? And I mean, he was just really dumbfounded. Like, what? And she goes, what do you mean? Are you being serious? Of course she goes, I mean, they clearly just don't have the communication issues we have. They don't. You know, I can just tell by how she looks at him. They just don't have the problems we have. Like, that's the kind of marriage I wish we could have, but I don't think we'll ever have it. And she was just really, like, frustrated. And he, you know, she said, he paused for a long time and then he looked at her and he said. He said, candice, he goes, if you really believe they don't have marriage problems, he goes, or if they've never had a marriage problem, he goes, then you just have a really unrealistic view of marriage. He goes, there's not one married couple out there that doesn't have issues, you know, here and there. And he said, I think that if that's the goal is to never have a problem, he's like, then you're right. We will never have that kind of marriage. But he's like that couple. He goes, they're in ministry. He was like, you don't think pastors have problems? He goes, from what I understand, they have a lot of problems.

Yeah. Trust me, as a pastor, I've got plenty of problems. And we hear from couples all the time that, you know, there are a lot of challenges that they face, and they feel like they can't share it with their congregation. It's a difficult reality. But, hey, if you're a ministry couple needing help, reach out, reach out, and we'll connect you to our mediators here. They work with a lot of ministry.

Couples, A lot of ministry couples. They do.

But every couple has issues. Every person has issues. Jesus said, in this life, you will have trouble, but take heart, I've overcome the world. So all of us are going to have troubles, married and single. And like we talked about before, married folks, even though you have more blessings, I believe you also have more troubles because you got your own troubles, plus another person's troubles, plus your collective troubles relationally. So it's.

And your families, you know, I mean, there's all. The list goes on and on, and.

Nobody'S got it perfect. But we believe the myth when we're scrolling through social media, that these highlight reels we see in other people's lives and we're seeing only what they want us to see. We're seeing a fictionalized version of other people's lives, usually.

Yeah.

And look, no problems. They've never argued. They've never had a blemish on their skin. They've never. They've never had a bad day. It's like, come on, guys, that's not reality.

We've had. Some of you. I mean, you guys know, if you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, we air out a lot of our dirty laundry here. But there's a lot we don't tell you, too. I mean, we don't say every time we've ever had an issue. Right?

I mean, yeah, I mean, that's. Marriage is. A lot of marriages is private.

Exactly.

And we're very public, and we want to share as much of our marriage as we can while protecting the sanctity and sacredness of the. The private aspect of our marriage. We share publicly as much as we can. Though, to help you guys. And because it also helps keep us accountable to know that our example is making an impact. And not that we're setting ourselves up as any kind of, like, perfect standard for marriage. We're on this journey learning as we go along with you guys, but we also. We want to do this right.

Yeah.

Because we know that if we mess up big, it would hurt not only us and our children, but it would hurt a lot of other people.

It would, you know, because this is the work that we do. It's what we've devoted our lives to. But we've had some of you in, like, our meet and greets or maybe through an email, say, like, oh, if only my husband looked at me the way your husband looks at you when you guys are speaking on stage. And I love that. And I know most of the time Dave is looking at me, but guys, sometimes he's probably just staring off in space and it just happens to be in my direction. So I'm just saying, like, you guys.

Like, verse in your eyes.

I am versed in that bubble because there's just no perfect marriage out there. And you are an amazing husband.

I know when you speak and I love looking at you, but I also, you know, I just. A lot of times when I'm staring off, I have, like, just completely random, ridiculous thoughts in my head.

We both can do that. But I'm just saying, like, I think sometimes, too, these people that you're learning from, like us, you know, or maybe some pastors or maybe there's some authors out there, and you see them and you can kind of hold people. You know, we tend to hold people on a pedestal, and I would just say, take them off that pedestal. Everybody has issues. There's no perfect marriage out there. Now, you can have people that inspire you. Absolutely. And learn from them, but just don't put anybody on a pedestal like that, because it's not gonna serve you well. Only God is on a pedestal.

That's right. That's right.

So it's just important. And we've learned that, too. I mean, there's been people over the years that have inspired us, and I think it's just human nature to want to kind of idolize people sometimes. And even just, you know, what we think people are doing and how they work and all that kind of stuff, but it just doesn't serve us well.

Every human. But Jesus will let you down eventually. Your spouse will. You'll let yourself down. Every mentor you look up to, they'll let you down. The heroes in the Bible that we look to as heroes of the faith. The Bible is honest about all of their flaws, except only Jesus is perfect. God in the flesh. The rest of them, the disciples, the, you know, the Old Testament, kings, the prophets, all of them people picked by God for amazing things. They all had issues. They all made mistakes, they all sinned. And so if we expect anybody in our life to be perfect, we're setting. Setting them up to fail, and we're setting ourselves up for a lot of disappointment.

We are. And so let's talk about, like, some different dynamics. And, you know, we can use some examples from people we know, but also just some different dynamics and how you can have a great, healthy marriage, but it can look a little different. Like, the first one that comes to my mind, I never forget this from years ago. And I was even thinking about them this week. It's interesting. And I can't remember their first names because I haven't seen them in, like, over a decade. But it was a military couple that was in our small group. He was a military chaplain. And do you remember them? They had three kids, really nice couple, and had a heart for marriage. And in fact, she even wrote a great marriage book for military. And I remember we were doing a marriage, like, small group study in our group, and it wasn't one of ours. Like, we. I don't even know. I think we were dipping our toe in marriage ministry at the time. Like, I don't think we weren't even with XO yet. Okay. And just to give you the frame, the reference or the context. And so I remember that we had talked about, especially in that season, for us and for most of the people in our small group, like, we would almost live for date night. Like, it was like, always. Like, we tried to do it weekly. We had been encouraged to do this by some mentors of ours early in our marriage and by your parents. And we would budget for babysitters. We barely had any money, and we didn't care. We were like, we will find the money. We will make sure we would go, like, seven babysitters deep to get it.

Oh, yeah.

And we had shared that very honestly. And I think at the time, we did have the marriage page and we'd share that. And. And we had very young children. I was staying at home at the time. And for me, date night was just. I mean, if we missed it, I felt it. You felt it. It helped our.

It was a lifeline.

It helped our communication. And so we are big proponents of date night. Well, I remember this couple, after a few weeks of doing this study, she shared, she said, you know, we tried doing date night for about a month. And she said, but we just realized that we're not really date night people. And she said, and so we've kind of found what fuels us. And she didn't really say what it was, but it was just a different way of finding that fuel. And at the time you and I talked about it, and we were both like, what does she mean by that? Like, I just can't even. I mean, they have young kids, too. Like, how can they not want date night? Like, you know, we were both kind of like, what in the world? But over the years, you know, I've kept in touch with her off and on through social media because they've since moved and had different orders and things. And I think they have an amazing marriage. I think they're one of those couples you could look up to. And as I've grown and as my kids have grown and we've been doing marriage ministry, I was thinking to myself, like, it just wasn't. That's just not their flow.

Yeah. And that's okay.

And that's okay. And I mean, I. I think most people probably do appreciate a date night. But she said, I remember her saying, like, it just. It just wasn't like we just. For us, it just wasn't the thing that, like, we felt like we needed in this season. We'd rather, you know, do something else, whatever that thing was. But I think just the fact of the matter in me sharing this story is that as long as you're finding a way to pour into your marriage, to have time for just the two of you, it can look a lot of different ways. It doesn't have to be date night. I mean, maybe you have quiet kids that you can take out on a family date, and you still can get something from your spouse. And that was not our dynamic. Still is not like we need that time, just the two of us. But I get it if you have a different family dynamic. Maybe you have family that lives really close by and you get to regularly just go and do stuff. I mean, maybe that was their dynamic. I don't know. But that wasn't our dynamic. So I think it's okay. We need to remember that everybody's flow in how they pour into their marriage can look different, but you need to find something where you are, you know, on a daily basis. Finding time to communicate in a healthy way, make sure you're not, you know, going to bed angry. Although I do think there are moments where if you feel like I'm not gonna have a really good conversation right now, I really need sleep because I'm frankly just really tired. That's okay. That's okay. Just make sure you get, you know, you quickly repair it and talk about it the next day. That's okay. I mean, it can look a lot of different ways. I think that sometimes we just have these very rigid ways of doing things. And then anytime we deviate from it, we think we failed. Oh, my gosh. We're not gonna have a great marriage now because that whole season we didn't have a date night. You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe you can have a date night in that season, but maybe, you know, maybe there's other ways that you can take that time to be together. Am I making sense with this? Do you remember that couple?

I do.

And they have a great marriage.

Yeah. I think it's about not being rigid in our thinking. Yes, it does. It's not one size.

Because I was being kind of rigid back then.

One size fits all. And while we do stand behind date night as a good thing, and it's helped us immensely, and most people, it.

Does help immensely, but it's a reminder that not everybody.

You know what? Some couples prefer to connect in other ways.

Exactly.

And that's okay, too. And they found that there's certain principles that I think God designed to be universally true in marriage. Like, healthy couple is going to be honest with each other. They are going to be encouraging and kind to each other. They're gonna value spending time together, whatever that looks like. But they are gonna value time together. They're gonna prioritize their sex life. And again, like, frequency and all that's gonna look different in different seasons, but it's going to be a priority. What would you add to the list?

Gosh. I mean, those are the big hitters, I think I feel like. Well, as people of faith, I think you're gonna prioritize your faith and your spiritual intimacy. I mean, speaking of intimacy, I think you wanna find ways to. To cultivate a strong emotional bond. Intimately, where you're sharing openly about how you feel. And you both are that safe place to land and to talk about those things. I think, again, spiritual intimacy. But also, we talked about the physical, too. I think just making sure that you're. I mean, I can't say this enough. You're just communicating regularly. That's a hard word to say right now after talking a lot today, but just making sure that Communication is a. Is a top priority. And you're not, you know, you're not letting things fester. Like, when things irritate you, you address it in a loving way. You speak the truth in love. You're careful with your words because you don't want to hurt your spouse. Like, that's huge. Just being kind.

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You know, being kind to each other and creating a kind environment in your home, I think those are the main things. And then, like, how you celebrate can look different. How you raise your kids can be drastically different than other families. You know, there's a lot of different ways to do things, you know, and even, you know, you talked about sex, even your intimate life, you know, even beyond frequency, there's a lot of room there. We've had many podcasts about that. Like, it can look different, and that's between you and your spouse. And just, I think it's just we have a lot of. God is a creative God, and he made each human being so different. And so of course, there's not going to be any two marriages just alike. I mean, everybody is so unique. So every marriage union is so unique. And I think it's okay if we do things a little bit differently. I mean, obviously there's. There's major tenants of having a strong, godly marriage, but I think that you can also be creative in the ways that you kind of do some of those things, I guess, and carry it out.

God's own nature is one of freedom. He gives his people a lot of freedom. He gives us in marriage a lot of freedom. And he makes us all wonderfully unique. That's why he didn't just create an army of clones. Every one of us has a DNA that is completely unique to us. Every one of us has a personality that's unique to us, and that's by God's design. And so we need to celebrate our uniqueness and to celebrate the fact that a great marriage can look. It can look a number of different ways. As long as we're holding on to those tenets that are universally true, by God's design, the boundary lines, we're going to be faithful to each other. I mean, all those things that we just talked about.

Of course, of course.

But within that, there's freedom. And I think we have to remember that, too. With not comparing our marriage to either family of origin of us. You know, that's a big one. You might, you know, one spouse has two parents. They think, oh, that's what marriage is supposed to look like. And the other spouse says, no, my parents, marriage was great. That's what it's supposed to look like. And then we have to realize our marriage, we can learn from both of those parents and we can honor both of those sets of parents, but our marriage is going to look unique. It's not going to look like either of them. And our children's marriages someday isn't going to look exactly like ours. It's not supposed to. Now, hopefully, there are values that we've passed on that we've learned from those in front of us that we're passing on to those behind us. We're giving them values about faith, about prioritizing marriage. We're giving them those principles and those tools, but they're going to build something that's completely unique and that's beautiful.

It is beautiful. And I think, too, you know, we haven't even mentioned blended families. I think sometimes, you know, the blended families can go in and they're like, gosh, I don't even know. I mean, should I take some of the good from my previous union and really make sure I don't do the bad? What do I take from my family? You know, it can be kind of a lot that you're navigating, but obviously, no two blended families look alike. Like, how they decide to do some of the unique things that blended families need to do can look a little different, too. And I think the main thing is just being true to what God says about marriage. You know, we just look to the Bible and how we treat each other and how we love each other and what faithfulness looks like, obviously, and keeping the marriage bed pure and just all those things. I mean, those are the same. But I feel like, you know, our personalities even are so different. You know, there's some couples that love to kind of tease each other a lot more than probably I'd be comfortable with. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Like, I've known couples like this, and they love it. Like, they can't wait to just.

Yeah, for them, it's flirty.

Yeah, it's flirty.

They lean into it. For others, it would really hurt their feelings.

I think it would really hurt my.

Feelings, and I know that about you, and so I would never do that, because I know that it would be hurtful to you to tease in that kind of way that some other couple do where it's not meant to be hurtful.

Exactly. And they know that, like, you know, that this is all in good fun. And then whole families kind of operate that way where they're all kind of.

I mean, I would love to tickle you more because I love to tickle the kids. But Ashley, you might not know this about her. She gets violent.

I literally cannot. I become a different person.

Yeah. She turns into the incredible hole.

I feel like I'm being attacked.

If you even start.

When I start tickled, when you start.

Pretending that you're gonna tickle her, she.

What do I say to you?

She goes, I will hurt you.

Well, no, no, I don't say that. I just say, you know what you're doing, and you know what happens?

You die.

And I can't tell you. She's scared. I just can't help it.

She gets scary, turns into a.

Nobody tickles me. I learned early on I have, like, supernatural strength.

She does.

Being tickled, I can, like, stop your hands, and I don't even know where it comes from. It's, like, crazy. But I hate being tickled. Like, I literally hate it. And you had to find that out real quick. And you're like, no, you don't hate it. And I'm like, I hate it.

Yeah.

That was like. Yeah. On a very, very early date, when I'm, like, just trying to, like, playfully.

I'm like, this is not gonna happen.

Oh, my gosh. That's. That's never happening again.

But we tickle the kids all day. But one thing that's a fun fact about you is one of your. He's so ticklish. But only one of your feet are ticklish.

Yeah. I must have leprosy or something.

No, no, no. It's just funny. It's like you don't at all get tickled, so the kids think that's hilarious, but I really do. I like tickling people, but I don't want to be tired.

You dish it out. You just can't take it.

I can't take it. I can't. I just. It makes me so, like. I don't even know. But, you know, I've talked To some other women, this. I'm not the only one. You guys write me. If you're this way and you become like just a different. Like the Hulk. You're like the Incredible Lady Hulk. When you get tickled.

Yeah, let us know. We can start a support group or something.

What, for you? For the men?

Yeah, for the men. Like, I want a marriage. A great marriage is a husband who can tickle his wife.

And I could feel so bad and be like, if only I like tickling, we could have that kind of marriage.

You know, like, you just gotta love sometimes.

We do have things like this.

Yeah. It's like, okay, well, that's not gonna be one of our things. That's fine. We'll move on. And you just move on instead of thinking like, no, no, we have to have this.

Yes. No, it can look all different ways. And I think, too, it's a reminder for us not to be judgmental of other couples who just kind of do things a little different than us and that, you know, support our friends. I mean, obviously, if it's something unhealthy like badmouthing each other or, you know, clearly we're not talking about those types of things, but where it's just kind of a different strokes for different folks kind of thing, then, you know, that's what it is. It's just a different way of doing things. And I mean, and I love it that we have friends that don't. Their marriage does not look just like ours. And yet, you know, they have a great marriage in their own way, you know, and do things their own way. Yes.

Based on their unique personalities and their unique preferences.

Well, some people need to get away more. Like, they feel like they need that time away more. Some people, like, they just don't. Like, they don't enjoy that. They don't enjoy being away from their home. And, like, for me, that's hard to understand because I have such a wanderlust. And we love travel. Like, it's one of our values, like, to see the world and to go and do stuff. And even with individually, I'm sorry, not individually, but as a couple and, like, with friends, but also with our kids, like, we love that. But I have dear friends of mine where, like, one of my really good friends, she has a great marriage. And in her marriage, her husband is like, the traveler, loves to travel. He wants to lead mission trips. He wants to go see cool places, and he wants to take her. And in the beginning part of their marriage, she said, I just, you know, I would go because I know he likes it and I will still go. She's like, I'll still go. But we just came to. I think they'd been married at least 10 years. And she's like, kind of like a few years ago she realized. She's like, you know, I'm just not one who loves travel. Like, I really love to be in my own bed, in my home. I don't feel like I'm missing out if I'm not seeing the world. She's like, I think it's great if you wanna do that. But she said the whole time I'm thinking, when can I get home? And so like, when they came to this realization, she said, he was like, okay, well, let's make sure that we have like one trip a year where we are just investing in us, but we'll save a bunch of money not taking you, and I'll just go do the mission trip by myself with other people, you know, like. And he's like, I'll miss you, but okay. And it's like they kind of. She said it was funny. Cause then I didn't feel guilty anymore for not going and not enjoying it. And it gave him license to like. You know, she said this many times a year. You know, they have young children, so it can't be like all the time. But she's. And plus, you know, they want to have a good marriage, but she's like, this many times a year, you go fill that travel bucket. Like, go live it up. And she's like, and I'm just gonna stay here. She might go like on a little couple hour road trip to go see her family, but she's like, that's all I want. She's like, I don't want to go anywhere else. She said, I have no desire to go hike this cool mountain. Like, I don't want to go see the other ocean on the other side of the world. She's like, I'm really good with where I am.

We got one close to where we were.

She's like, I grew up next to the ocean. It's beautiful. It's the ocean. And I, you know, so it just, it showed me because she is a really good friend of mine. And I just laughed and I was telling you about it and I was like, isn't that funny how we're all just so different? Like, we all don't have exactly the same needs and desires and dreams even. But when you can find a way to support each other in your differences, it's just beautiful. And I Love that they found that way. And it took the pressure off.

It takes the pressure off. And I think that when you have that mentality, it safeguards your marriage from a lot of things, including the temptation to think, oh, well, because my spouse isn't into this, the same stuff I am. I'm gonna imagine my life with this other person who posts on social media and she's living the life that I wish my spouse would want to live.

Don't do that. Don't do that.

I wish my spouse was into that. Or this guy over here, he's into all this stuff that I wish my husband was into. And I wish I could just be with him. And again, you're trading your reality for some fantasy that's not even real. And instead, you have to celebrate your spouse for their uniqueness and your marriage and make it a way for you and your spouse to both win in your uniqueness and know that it's not gonna look like anybody else's marriage. And that's okay.

Like, this is our marriage. We are two unique individuals with a unique marriage. And let's live it up as best we can with all of our quirks and idiosyncrasies, and let's celebrate it and find, make sure, no matter what, even if you are very different people, which I'll be honest with you, both of our parents, like, they are.

They're opposites.

They are both.

Like, my parents are opposites, Ashley's parents are opposites.

They are complete opposites of each other. And they would tell you that Ashley.

And I are much more, Much more alike, much more alike than either set of parents are.

But yet they've been married 40 plus years, and they, you know, they've both. One thing they've done really well. They've done a lot of things well. But our parents, all of them, have made sure, even with all their differences in so many ways, okay, like, personalities, interests, everything, they always find points of connection. And that looks that, like, you need to find points of connection that are daily points of connection that are weekly, points of connection that are monthly, points of connection that are, like, quarterly. Like, what does that look like? Like, is it on the daily. How do you connect weekly? Is it a date night? That's the other way of connection. Maybe not. Maybe it's. You go do something else, you know, go take a class together. Or maybe it's a family night. Like, maybe you prefer that, you know, monthly. Like, is there a time you get together and you kind of have, like, little meeting of sorts, and Go over some of the details of what's going well, what's not going so well, and then maybe quarterly, you get away. I mean, there's a lot of people that say, you know, like, there. Well, I can't remember the saying exactly, but there's a saying that says, like, you can, you know, put something on the calendar, basically whether you're actually going somewhere or not, but you're having, like, something to look forward to within. You know, I think it was, like, monthly, and then, like, quarterly, and then, like, yearly you do this other thing. And so we've always made sure that we have different points of connection. And again, it can look so different from couple to couple. But we found what works for us in this season, too. And I think it's important to mention that every season of your marriage, it may not look exactly the same as it did in other seasons, because you're going to have to monitor and adjust. And that's okay, too.

Yeah, it is. And so right where you are, just celebrate where you are right now and have gratitude for where you are right now as a couple. Monitor and adjust. That's language we use a lot that we borrowed from somebody else.

We did. We did.

Which just means exactly what it says. You monitor what's going on and make adjustments based on where you want to be. But if your spouse wants to be somewhere else than you do, find common ground and try to find ways to serve them, to celebrate them, to not try to change them, to let them know, I wouldn't change a thing about you. I love you. I love who you were when we married. I love the person that you're becoming every day as God keeps molding you into that design that he had for you, that you're the masterpiece you're created to be. And I'm just cheering you on, especially the parts that are different for me, because that enhances our life and our marriage. And be careful with social media, because I think that's kind of the. That's where a lot of the comparison trap lives. And comparison really is the thief of joy. So we can learn from people, we can get ideas from people, but ultimately, remember God's plan for you and your marriage is masterfully unique, and I am so, so thankful for that. So keep. Keep writing that masterfully unique love story through your lives, because there'll never be another one like it.

That's right.

And that's a gift.

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It is a gift. And, you know, I just want to say real quick, like, I love that Dave said, I almost called you dad. Like, I'm around the kids, and I'm saying, dad said this. That's funny. Anyway, I love that Dave said, you know, don't get so hung up on people's highlight reels on social media or even, like, stars that you don't even know, and you're like, wow, their life is magical. It's only. Or, you know, it's just. It's a big trap. Because when we do get hung up on that, we really shift our focus from our spouse and our marriage to these other people. And so how can you work on your relationship and give it the focus it needs when you're always. When, you know, our mind is taken to these other things that just aren't gonna help us? This comparison, this, you know, idolization of people we don't even know, and it just doesn't serve us well. And so it's something where, you know, I know it's easy to do that sometimes just because we're human beings, but it's important to kind of just, you know, have a little reckoning with yourself and be like, I'm just gonna turn this off for now, and I'm gonna go call my spouse, or I'm gonna go text him something real sweet. I'm gonna tell him what I'm thankful for today and just refocus and make sure you're giving your marriage and your spouse your best focus.

Man, that's such a good word. Friends, I hope that was an encouragement to you today. We love and appreciate you and love and appreciate the unique masterpiece that your marriage is, and we just hope that today's been an encouragement for you. So God bless. Thanks for listening or watching on YouTube. You can always write us on Instagram. We're aveandashleywillis. You can also come to see us at one of our live events. We would love to have you there. Go to xomarriage.com conferences and see when we might be coming to a city near you. In the meantime, stay connected to us online and we hope to see you soon. God Bless.

Bye guys.

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