Dealing with Insecurities

El evento de abrigos de Burlington ya está aquí. Compra un abrigo desde ahora hasta el 29 de noviembre y obtén 5 dólares de descuento en tu compra de 25 o más del 6 al 24 de diciembre. Además, Burlington donará 50.000 abrigos nuevos para ayudar a los necesitados de todo el país por medio de nuestra colaboración con Delivering Good. Llevamos más de 50 años abrigándote. Nos vemos en nuestro evento de abrigos Burlington Marcas Rebajas. Wow. Visita Burlington Com Coats para más detalles. Hello and welcome back to the Naked marriage podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis. And on this podcast, we address the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love. And we've got a great episode for you today talking about something that all of us can relate to, and that is insecurity. But before we dive in, I want to share a review with you. So this is from Marina. Five hundred, Twenty five, and she entitled it My Favorite Podcast and gave us five stars. So thank you, Marina. It says this is Hands Down. My Favorite Podcast. Not only is it entertaining, but it has positively impacted my life. Fortunately, I've already been blessed with an amazing husband and a happy marriage, but I still find so much value in Dave and Ashley's wisdom. I'm a huge fan of self improvement, and this show has helped me grow as a wife, a mother and a christian. I am beyond grateful for Dave and Ashley Willis and their naked marriage podcast. Oh, thank you, sweet.

That really is. And really we read these because not only is it encouraging to us, and it really is, but we read these because we want to encourage all of you to leave a review. And the main reason is because when you leave a review, it helps other people discover what you've discovered any hope, any encouragement you found here, which is what we're all about. When you leave a review, it helps other people discover that same good news and you partner with us and spreading the good news and so that's right. Thank you. Thanks for leaving those reviews. They really do encourage us and they help others discover this podcast. And we're so glad you stopped by today. Like Ashley said, it's a great topic. Insecurities. We're in a series based on our upcoming book, The Counterfeit Climax, which is all about how to get rid of all the baggage and insecurities related to sex and experience. The thriving Awesome Sex Life. God created you to have. But insecurities often get in the way. And that's what we're going to talk about today. So let's dive in.

You know, I'm so glad we're going to be talking about this today because each and every one of us deals with insecurity. And when we hear the word insecurity, I think we tend to think about body insecurity. But really it goes beyond that. I think especially when it comes to sex, we can have insecurities about our physical, you know, our body. But I think we can also have insecurities when it comes to performance. I think we can have insecurities when it comes to knowing maybe our spouse maybe had a sexual past and we are inexperienced and we have insecurities with not knowing what to do. But also we're insecure because we feel like maybe our spouse could be comparing us to previous experiences they had. So there's a lot of layers when it comes to this subject. And so we want to unpack it for you all today.

And this is a nuanced layered subject. And we dive deep into this particular issue in the upcoming book the Counterfeit Climax. And all the episodes we're doing this fall are based on the themes that we're going to address in this book. I'm so excited about this resource to be able to share it with you. And I'm so excited that we're already talking about some of these themes right here on the podcast, because couples need to have these conversations. And what we find often is that couples have these insecurities but they don't voice them. They don't feel maybe safe enough to be able to be that vulnerable. Maybe they're embarrassed. They don't want their spouse to see them in light of their fears and insecurities. And so they keep it hidden and then it never really gets resolved. You just sort of live with it. You just kind of go through the motions in every part of your relationship, not just in the bedroom, but in all parts of your relationship. Because if you don't feel safe enough to voice your insecurities, then you're not experiencing full intimacy that intimacy requires vulnerability. And so we just hope with this episode that we prompt you and maybe even inspire you to have the courage to have some of these conversations to talk about your own insecurities. And to try to do it in a way that doesn't point the finger at your spouse to say, well, I'm insecure because you do this, or I'm insecure because you never do this, or because of this part of your past, or because, you know, whatever it might be. But instead to just say, this is how I feel. And sometimes when we're in the act of lovemaking, I clam up because I'm feeling insecure about this, about my performance or my body, or feeling like you're not attracted to me and just open up in that way. And I think you'll be amazed at how much growth could happen, how much closeness you could feel with your spouse when you would engage in that kind of very vulnerable conversation.

Absolutely. So I want to kick things off talking about the physical aspect because I do think this is a big one, and it's one that affects men and women, you know, for sure. And actually, Dave fairly recently on Instagram had a meme that he created. And it was something like, you know, ladies basically your husband, no matter what you think about your body odds are your husband actually likes seeing you naked. And really once the lights on. And it's something to that effect. ¿Am I totally messing up what you said? But yeah, it really hit a nerve with ladies.

Even if you don't like your own body, chances are high that your husband loves your body and wants to see a lot more of it. And it sparked so much conversation. It did all kinds of conversation. There were so many women that wrote in and said, i struggle with this. My husband tells me he loves me and he's so attracted to me. But I don't like the way that I look. And so I carry that insecurity with me. And I. I just don't enjoy undressing, even though my husband begs me to. And other women said, well, I wish my husband loved my body, but I can, you know, he's into porn, or I see him checking out other women all the time. And so, even if he tells me he does, I have a hard time believing it. And we heard so many different conversations. A lot of the guys were echoing. Yes, this is so true.

They were like, yes, thank you for saying this so true.

I just love. I celebrate my wife's body and I want to see it more often. Most women I don't think really know just how visual their husband is and how much he loves seeing her.

Right.

And so we were just putting that out there to kind of stoke up the conversation. Our friend Shanti Feldhahn, a gifted researcher, she has a really good book about this. Called Through a Man's Eyes. Helping women understand the visual nature of men. Now, she talks in it too that women are of course visual too. But it's just the way our brains are wired. And she talks about neuroscience research. To really show what's happening in a man's mind and a woman's mind. When visual stimulus comes in. And guys just are wired, hardwired to love their wife's form. And want to celebrate it and want to see it. And yet, you know, most women we found through, you know, research and stats. Have a lot of insecurities about their own bodies. Even if their husband is only complimentary husbands. If you're ever critical of your wife's body, that's just being a jerk. Don't. Don't do that. Right, But.

And same for women. Don't be women.

Yeah, specific, you know. You don't be critical of each other's bodies. Because we all go through changes. We all go through changes. We all have very vulnerable, intimate insecurities. When we feel like we're not measuring up. And so you need to know that your spouse thinks you are the hottest thing on Earth. And you are their only standard for beauty. And so build each other up in that way.

And I will say, when it comes to insecurities. I've dealt with this. And it's not like. I didn't like my body even from the time we got married. But we've talked a lot about. And we go into great depth about this in the book. Just the backgrounds we come from. If you grew up in a really good, super modest home. Where bodies were constantly. The thing you cover, you know, And modesty is not a bad thing. But that was my home. I mean, it wasn't like. It was just always cover up, you know. And just. And then all of a sudden, you know, if you saved yourself for marriage, you get married. And all of a sudden, it can be naked. Time, you know, it's kind of an adjustment to kind of get your mind around. And just get used to that. But I know, Dave, throughout the years we've been married, twenty years, I've had a lot of changes in my body. We've had four children. And so my body's definitely changed through that. And then I've had fluctuations in weight.

And it's all been just.

Well, you've always amazing something you've done, though that's been so sweet to me. Is you have always. Even though I'm a lot harder on myself. You know, we're usually our own worst critic. You've always encouraged me and said, sweetie, I love your body. And you know, gosh, I'm so attracted to you.

It's not like false encouragement. It is one hundred percent true like I. There has never been a moment, never been a phase, like post baby phase, any phase where I'm not just absolutely in awe of your beauty.

Well, you're very kind, but I know there's some people here where we hear from women and men that say, you know, man, my spouse, they're going through a time where they've just gained a lot of weight and they've kind of let themselves go and then their spouse is insecure and probably their spouse, even if they haven't said, like, you disgust me, they kind of let them know through maybe their body language or something so. I know, it's not always like this because some of you watching this and listening to this are like, oh, barf, Like Dave, come on. ¿You know? But I and I get it because it's like, really, I mean, you know, when she was forty pounds heavier, you didn't find her a little less attractive or whatever.

But I will tell you, I love the variety. It's like, oh, but that's not always the case.

That's what I'm trying to say.

¿For all people I'm into petite, you know, when you were a little fuller, figured I was like, way into that, you know? Oh, my gosh, Like, I'm just. ¿I'm into you, like, your spouse needs to know you're just into them, right? Like, they are your standard and wherever they are in their journey, like. ¿Yeah, and you want to be at your best just for health reasons, but you want to celebrate where you are, like, right? Yeah, I want to help you if you want to be healthier, if you have a weight goal or whatever. But I want you to know like I couldn't be more attracted to you than I am right now.

And like, and it's not just physical.

It's not just physical. Like, in every sense, like physical, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, Like, in every way, I am just so attracted to you. I celebrate who you are right now, right where you are. And, yeah, Like, if you want to. If you've got goals. Or whatever I support you in that. But don't feel like that that's gonna make me more attracted to you because.

Right. Well. And I love what you're saying. Because if we can know that, we just don't focus on the physical. I think that that is a good way to help. To help reassure our spouse and say, listen, don't be insecure. Like we're in this for the long haul. And our bodies are gonna change a lot. And we're gonna love each other and find ways to appreciate that change. Because we love each other and we're committed to each other. And I think the reassurance is key. Especially men. When it comes to your wife. I mean, women. Just in the culture that we live in, there's just. There's always these images that are airbrushed. And we see these perfect. These perfect images of women that I mean truly. And I know. This is. This is. We've talked about this openly as a society for probably the last decade, You know. ¿They're not completely real like those women have cellulite, okay? It's just airbrushed out. Or there's like moles in places. They don't want them. And they've just taken it out of the picture. Or you know what I'm saying, Wrinkles. There's. There's things like they're people. They're human beings. And so, you know, we need to remember that. But even when we remember that and even when we understand that it's like the world we still live in though where those are what are praised. And I think that we get it in our head if we allow our minds to focus too much on that. ¿That how could my husband find me attractive When he's walking in a grocery store and just sees like all these ten other gorgeous women who don't have a fall? And I just think that it's wrong for us to even kind of let that be something that rules our mindset.

That's why God designed our minds to be focused in terms of desire, in terms of any sexual thought. To be focused exclusively on our spouse. Your spouse was never meant to have to compete against anyone. Any person, any airbrushed image, any pornographic image, any commercial on TV, any billboard. Your spouse was not designed to compete against anyone. And trying to compare your spouse to some airbrushed image or some other person walking down the street is just so wrong on so many levels. And it will do nothing but fuel, insecurity and division in your marriage, and it will be the enemy of intimacy. And so, if you want intimacy, and I'm not just talking about sex, even though sex is definitely part of it, but intimacy in terms of trust and emotional connection and all those other things, you've got to focus your attention solely on your spouse. And they have to know that your whole heart is theirs and your whole focus is theirs, and they're the only object of your desire and fantasy. It doesn't mean that. You never notice that another human being is attractive. Or you look at some beautiful person and say, that person is ugly to me. Now you can say like, no, that's an attractive person I can recognize they're attractive. But I'm not going to let my mind linger into lust where all of a sudden I'm staring and gawking and comparing and acting out fantasies in my brain with somebody other than my spouse. So your spouse needs to feel so built up by you in every season of your marriage because your bodies are going to change like we've talked about. But even as bodies, change the depth of your love can and should grow deeper through every season of marriage. And, yeah, it's going to maybe look a little bit different. Maybe your sex life's going to look a little bit different when you're seventy as opposed to twenty five or whatever. I mean, things are going to look different as bodies change, but it can be beautiful and it can be ever increasing in actual intimacy and oneness through every season if we'll help each other with our insecurities instead of adding to each other's insecurities. With Black Friday savings at the Home Depot, you can get up to forty percent off plus up to an extra thousand dollars off. Select appliances like LG. America's most reliable line of appliances. Check out the newest LG Refrigerator with new mini craft ice straight from the dispenser shop. Black Friday savings on Select LG appliances plus. Get free delivery now at the Home Depot. Free delivery on appliance. Purchases of three hundred ninety six dollars or more. Offer about eleven five through twelve three us only. See store online for details.

Hey, welcome into Walgreens. Hi there.

Hey.

All right, Han. I'll grab the gift wrap cards and, oh, those stuffed animals. The curls wander.

Great. And I'll grab the string lights and some. How about I grab some cough drops. This is not just a quick trip to Walgreens.

I'm fine, honey.

Well, just in case you know what they say tis the season this is help staying healthy through the holidays. Walgreens.

Absolutely. And I want to say this too, especially to the women listening. And, Dave, maybe you could speak to the men on this. But I think that we tell ourselves, well, if I could just lose ten pounds, then I wouldn't be insecure if I could just have more abs. ¿Like, I haven't seen my abs in how many years, right? ¿Or did I ever have abs? I don't know. But we put these things like, if I just had abs, then I wouldn't be insecure or if I could, you know, whatever. Like, we have these different things. And I'm just here to tell you, I have friends, I have like I myself have had. And we talked about this before a swing of different. Like, I've been super skinny. Like, I was ninety eight pounds when we married. Ninety eight pounds, afraid I was gonna unhealthy. And it was like stress, too. I mean, I was eating and stuff I wasn't like anorexic, but I mean, it was just unhealthy. I'm five' four. I shouldn't weigh ninety eight pounds. Right. And so, you know, I definitely am nowhere near ninety eight pounds now, but I'm at a much healthier place. And I think we have to find balance. But I remember, you know, I think soon after you're in the afterglow of getting married, I think I put ten pounds on which I honestly needed to. But then I started having that talk with myself, like, oh, I put on ten pounds. Like, oh, no, I need to lose. I need to lose. And I remember, you know, talking with friends. And I have friends who are more heavyset. And I have friends who are super skinny. And every single one of them at different times, no matter how much weight they had gained or how much weight they have lost, have insecurities. Like, it's not like you're going to arrive so you can't let that be the thing that you have to achieve. Because we're always going to have something else We really have to have our identity in Christ. I mean, that's really. And I'm not saying that as some flowery christianese, but it's the truth. And I know for me, I was really unhealthy, you know, leading up to our wedding. And I was teaching aerobics and I was watching. I mean, I think I barely ate a carb and it worked. I mean, I lost weight. I was way too skinny. But it was at a great cost to myself. I wasn't healthy, I wasn't sleeping. And I was not finding my value and my beauty so to speak in Christ and, you know, and it really dawned on me in those first years of marriage. I mean, I needed to do that. And even we can't even find our value in how we perceive our spouse and how they see us, you know, what I'm saying like, we can't think. Well, if I know that he is totally. One hundred percent attracted to me all the time. Then I'm beautiful, then I'm valuable. It really can't even be that. I mean, we want that in our life, but our value comes from Christ. He says, you know, we are his sons and daughters. And then we're masterpieces. ¿I mean, what other greater compliment can we have in our life than to know that God considers us a masterpiece?

You know, and if he says you're a masterpiece, my goodness, and you say you're not, then that's not being humble on your part. That's really being so prideful that you would call God a liar. That you would say His creation isn't good or that His word isn't true. And what he says about you isn't as important as what you think about yourself. And so see yourself in his light that you are beautifully and wonderfully made. And that He made no mistakes on you and He couldn't love you anymore. If you achieved whatever your ideal weight is so to speak and where you are in that aspect of your health journey has nothing to do with your value as a human being. Or the limitless eternal value of your soul. I mean, when we get to heaven, we'll all have abs, I'm convinced, Even no age pains. Yeah, it's gonna be great.

It can run really fast.

These temporary bodies we've got. They're gonna wear out and give out eventually. But they're foreshadowing all the good that's to come. This body we're gonna get, that's perfect. And then won't we're out. But the truth of it is it's our soul that has limitless value. And we need to love each other's very soul. We need to love each other on that soul level. And if we'll do that, then we'll see each other's bodies as the beauties that they are because it's not just wrapped up in some kind of, like, commercialized, airbrushed, idealized version of what the human form should be. And instead we'll see like no God made you.

And you were his masterpiece. Yeah.

You're his masterpiece. And let's enjoy each other. And so with women, I think most of the insecurities tend to come with appearance for men. Men can have certainly insecurities with appearance. I think with men, it's more performance insecurities.

Especially with the bedroom.

Yeah. And the bedroom in particular, I mean, I've got physical things that could be insecurities. That now I'm just kind of. To the age where it's just. Just don't care. I just don't care as much, you know. And being a little squishy is in vogue, I guess, in my age. But insecurities about performance especially, you know, I've shared some about this. But you know, when I had a. When I first was diagnosed with a thyroid disorder and my hormones were all out of balance, my. Like, my sex drive for the first time in my life had plummeted. And I had real insecurity about sex and sexual performance. And it was like an attack on my manhood. And it really messed with me.

It caused you anxiety.

Yeah. It did it.

I witnessed an anxiety attack. Like, literally an anxiety attack.

I was just feeling really anxious for the first time in my life. In the aftermath of all, that is my. And it wasn't. Sometimes our insecurities aren't a character issue. They're a chemistry issue. My chemistry was off, and it was affecting me and my mind, my body and everything. And it created a lot of insecurity. But Ashley was so loving and supportive and encouraging through that and helping me to get the help I needed medically to get back to normal and health. But even in the process of getting there, she let me know like you're the man right now. I'm so attracted to you right now, even right now when you feel out of whack. And we're gonna help get you back to healthy. But I'm not gonna love you more or be more attracted to you once you your hormone levels are different or once your health is different. Like I love you. And I'm so attracted to you right now. And so the power of our words in marriage have such impact in helping your spouse to work through their own insecurities. And it also has such impact to help the two of you develop that bond that God intends for you to have both inside and outside the bedroom.

Absolutely. And I just want to say this kind of the third thing that we talked about. And there's many other nuances to insecurity, but just kind of some big ones. The third thing I want to talk about before we get into our Q and A is maybe if your sexual backgrounds, kind of your thoughts on sex, your upbringing when it comes to how you look at sex. If they're very different, I think that can cause some insecurities. And especially, and we have been getting so much, so many emails about this lately, but especially if one spouse had had multiple partners prior to marriage and then the other either waited until they were married or maybe just had one experience. And there's this kind of difference in experience. And they feel. They feel, first of all, really uneasy about it. And then they feel like maybe there's a comparison going on, even if their spouse has not said anything. Just the knowledge of that can cause insecurity for both spouses. I mean, even the one, if they were promiscuous, they can feel insecure because they're like, well, I don't want to fantasize about these other people. And so it makes you really insecure with sex. Just in the sense that you're trying to be a good spouse and trying to keep your mind focused on your spouse. But you're kind of, you know, Satan and his lives is messing with you. And then also thinking, oh, my goodness, I hope they know how much I love them. And I'm not comparing them to this other person or people or whatever. So I think that we. When it comes to this particular kind of insecurity, we have to be willing to answer questions and then go overboard on reassuring your spouse like, listen, I'm not comparing you to these other people. I chose you and you chose me. Thank God. Like we're together. I don't want us to feel like we're just constantly gonna be have shame on us because of these past experiences. We are new creations in Christ. We have committed our lives to each other. He has something new for us. I think, you know, we've really got to go out of our way to let God renew our mind. I mean, we talk about that all the time, but I think this is where prayer is always essential. But I really think in this particular, with this particular subject, pray and ask God to help you to keep your mind on the right things and also pray like Lord help me to help my spouse know that I've got it just for them and only them.

Yeah. That's so good. And we in again, the upcoming book, the Counterfeit Climax. We actually have conversation guides that will lead you and your spouse through some of these conversations to deal specifically and head on with the insecurities that most couples just won't talk about because they don't feel equipped to or they don't know how to start the conversation. And we're just trying to help you have a safe place in the right words to work through these issues together. So be watching for that book and also continue to tune into the naked marriage podcast every week this whole season. But in this point in the podcast, before we wrap up, we're gonna do our favorite part, which is Q and A. So thank you guys for sending in Your Questions at NakedMarriagePodcast dot com, and for also writing us on social media avanashleywillis on Instagram or on Facebook at marriage and at stronger marriages. I guess on Facebook. ¿So the question today How do you balance being married and being pregnant? Pregnancy is exhausting. ¿How do you still pour into your marriage when you're so tired and hormonal? It's a great question. Of the two of us, you're the only one who's been pregnant. So I'm gonna let you start out I've looked pregnant a few times. Whatever, I can really make my.

You can protrude your belly.

It's very. It's one of my only.

It's uncanny.

Really impressive.

I have pictures. It's pretty.

I can look pregnant, but I've never been pregnant. That I know of. And so we're very. What.

Oh, my goodness. Okay. Well, I'm gonna go ahead and start trying to answer this question. So I just wanna say this is coming from a mom to be or maybe someone who's already had children who is in the first trimester. And let me tell you, there is no exhaustion. Like first trimester exhaustion. And I mean, it's just. It's just. You're exhausted. I mean, you just want to sleep all the time, and it's because your body is doing the miraculous your body is putting together a human being. And it's just amazing how God created us. And so my best advice is give yourself grace talk to your spouse, too, and say, listen, I am just, I am dog tired. I'm from Kentucky. That's like a comment we say, i don't know if that's in the vernacular for you. But dog tired means like, I literally want to be like a lazy dog And like go sleep in the corner all day. And like, that's how I was in a lot of our. In all four of the pregnancies in the first trimester. And I want to tell you, I know the hormones are all around, and there can be some different, uncomfortable things that happen in pregnancy and aches and pains that happen. But the main thing here is just talking to your husband and saying, you know, this is what's going on. But I also want to encourage you to to kind of break out of being overtaken by all this. I think it's good for you to go on a date and just, you know, take that time. That's how you can pour into your marriage. Go on a walk. Go on a date and just talk about how excited you are for the pregnancy husbands, rub her feet, get her a prenatal massage. Let me tell you best, like, hundred bucks you will ever spend and it has to be prenatal. Because when you're pregnant, it has to be a certain kind of positioning to be safe for the baby, but it's so worth it. And just, you know, for the. For the wife who wrote this be mindful about not shutting down. I think it's easy, and I kind of hear her saying that she knows she's not feeling well, and she's probably thinking I'm probably not a ball of fun to be around right now because I'm tired and I'm hormonal, and that's okay. But just be willing to talk to your husband and when he asks you what he can do to help, tell him things that can help. I mean, be willing to ask for help. And again, give yourself so much grace. You know, I think that it's just especially if it's your first pregnancy. This is all so new. I mean, it's. I will never forget, you know, I was actually in my first teaching job when we were pregnant with our first child, Cooper. And it was so. ¿There was so much going on and Dave was so sweet to me just to be like, what do you need? ¿You know what can I do to help you? And I would tell him like there were things like I could Really use a foot rub right now. ¿Or you know what can we not have to cook tonight? Like, can we just go get food because the thought of standing up and cooking something or having to wait for food because I'm starving right now is the worst. ¿So, you know, I think we just have to be very, very open with what our needs are, but also not allowing, you know, really being mindful of, Did my husband make me mad? ¿Is that why I'm mad, or am I mad because I'm exhausted and moody because my body is going through a lot right now?

And just from my experience in watching Ashley very heroically. Go through that four times. The exhaustion part of the pregnancy is it is temporary even if it lasts the whole pregnancy.

For sure. For sure.

But usually it is that first trimester that tends to be the worst. And then right at the very last days when you're just uncomfortable with pregnancy because of you don't sleep well. Yeah, you don't sleep well, let me.

Say, I'm gonna recommend something and there's probably even spiffier things these days. But there was something called a snoogle. ¿Do you remember the snoogle?

Oh, the big pillow.

It's like an s pillow because you can't really sleep on your back or your stomach. If you're on your back, the baby is on all of your organs. And it's not good. Like you're putting pressure on your kidneys and you obviously cannot sleep on your stomach. And if you're on your side, the baby's pulling your back. And I don't know if you're into chiropractic. But our chiropractor really helped me during this time. But I remember she might have even recommended the snoogle. But it's this special pillow that kind of supports your belly and helps you sleep more comfortably on your side because you can adjust it wherever you need to kind of get your back back in alignment. And Dave was so willing. I think it was expensive, too. But I remember you being like, it is best money. Like we will make room. Is we will go get it secondhand. Like, go to those kid to kids stores or whatever's in Once Upon a Child. Like there's all those different, different consignment shops and like find. Find a way to get it. Go to. You know, Amazon probably has a cheap, but it's worth investing in things that can help you get better sleep. I mean, that's okay, because even though it is temporary, it can really cause strain not only on you physically, but on your relationship. So I want to say this Dave was saying, you know, it's all temporary, but then there are the first right.

Then there's baby exhaustion. Yeah. So just that will be a thing.

Too whole other thing.

But in all of it, just keep supporting each other. Be honest, like Ashley said, be honest about your feelings. Be honest about what you need. Be really patient with each other. Remind yourselves. We're on the same team here. We're going to win together or lose together. Let's support each other. Let's not keep score over who's doing more. Let's just both try to give everything we've got. Let's give one hundred percent instead of trying to divide things out because you'll never divide it equally. Just Both of you do what you can do to serve one another. And if you'll keep doing that through the pregnancy, through the early childhood years, and all the way beyond, like that's the recipe for a great marriage. So just keep being partners, keep being best friends, keep prioritizing your relationship and serving each other and making sure your commitment to each other is always stronger than your feelings, because your feelings are gonna change. You're gonna feel exhausted some days. You're gonna feel up and down, highs and lows and all of it, but your commitment is unchanging. And let that be kind of the steady guide that lead you through. And if you'll do that, God does the rest. He just he carries us in those moments when we feel like we can't take another step. So we're excited for you in this season of getting ready to have a baby praying for you and cheering you on great days are ahead and keep listening to this podcast and check out the other resources at XOMARriage dot com to help you through the pregnancy years, not years. If you're pregnant for years, you're an elephant. I think that's the only you might have the only mammal that can be pregnant for years. But pregnancy through young childhood, all the way through, and every season of marriage, there's something in exomarage for you. So thanks for your question. Thank you guys for listening today. Thanks for those who are watching this on YouTube. Whether you're listening or watching. We're so honored that you were here. Do us a favor and share this with somebody. Because when you share makes a difference. It really does. And helping spread the good word and spreading hope and we sure appreciate it. We'll see you next time.

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