Gift Ideas For Your Spouse

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Hello and welcome back to the Naked Marriage Podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis and on this podcast we Undress the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love and you all. We have a great podcast episode for you. Today we are celebrating all things Christmas and we're going to talk specifically about what you might want to get your husband or wife this Christmas season. But before we dive in, Dave has a a recent review to share with you all.

Yes, and I'm excited about this review. I'm excited about Christmas time. It's the most wonderful time of the year. I'm not gonna sing along. I just love hearing I do not I'm never gonna get asked to record a Christmas album. So this is my my one shot but stick around to the end Q and A.

It's a good one.

It's a good one. It's, it's it has nothing to do with Christmas. So little steamy. It's yeah. So but you'll stick around. But today's review says five stars from Brea Watson and she said absolutely love in all caps. This podcast been married a year and a half and we think marriage is such a gift. My husband and I love to learn all the things about how to keep a Christ centered marriage. Thank you for sharing the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. And thank you Bria for listening to the Good, the Bad and the ugly with us. We hope it's making an impact in your marriage and to all of you who are watching and listening, we appreciate you. One quick announcement before we dive in. Hey guys, starting in just a couple months, our XO tour is back and we would love to see you at one of our live events. We're going to be different spots all over the country starting in February and these events. I believe it's the best, best way that you can make a positive impact in your marriage in a really short amount of time. Take a Friday night and Saturday and come to one of these. You're going to have so much fun. In fact it might be a great Christmas gift to get each other is surprised. Your spouse was saying, hey, I got us tickets to the XO Conference. Go to xomarriage.com you can get all the information and we would love to see you there. But let's dive into today's episode.

Well, you guys, it's Christmas time and we're so excited to talk about all things Christmas, but most of all, what to get your spouse. Because let's be honest, I think sometimes we have some anxiety around this subject.

Yeah, it's exciting, but it's stressful.

Yeah.

But, you know, it's here Christmas Day be.

Oh, that was so beautiful.

Well, I think, you know, Charlie Brown.

Let me just say really quick, is that not the most melancholy Christmas song you've ever heard? It's beautiful. Don't get me wrong. I love it. But how melancholy is that song? It doesn't sound like they're excited.

It's kind of like sad, but yet.

But I do think some people are sadly beautiful.

But no Christmas, it is an amplifier. I think it makes stuff. It makes the good stuff in your life feel sweeter. It makes the hard stuff in your life feeling harder, especially if you're going through grief or different things like that. And, you know, not to make this episode a downer to talk about, like all this.

No, this is not.

This is not a downer episode. But we just do want to acknowledge that this can be a stressful time, especially, you know, when you add financial pressure into it and you're thinking, I've got to buy these gifts and I don't have right now the money. And just, you know, we want to help you get creative and be able to stay within budget and do some things that are going to help you and your spouse. And we're just going to talk about gifts for your spouse. We're not going to dive into what to get your kids and all that, but with you and your spouse, just some things you could give that are thoughtful, that are meaningful, that hopefully won't break the bank either.

But, you know, but we'll make them know that you care because that's. Dave always says, you know, we really complicate being romantic, but really being romantic is just being thoughtful. And I love that because that takes the pressure off. Right. So these are all very thoughtful gifts, but fun and even romantic. Right. And so we actually are basing this off some blogs that we wrote over at Xomarriage. So if you, you're more of a reader and you want, you know, once we're finished with this podcast, you need to look at it. Like me, I like to see things in writing. You can go and find those in the show notes. But we're gonna talk about some different ideas for wives and some different ideas for husbands when it comes to gifts. And so I'm gonna start out sweetie, if that's okay.

Please, ladies first.

All right, so we are each writing like I'm writing what wives would like. So husbands, what I'm saying is for you to give you some ideas of what to get your wife and then Dave will share ladies what you can get your husbands.

And so there are two extra gifts for husbands because we hear that like husbands, a lot of women say he's so hard to buy for.

You are one of those people.

Because I don't really. I'm not a gifts person.

No.

But I always love what you get me. Like every.

But that's even harder because then I'm.

Like, I really appreciate it. Like all the clothes I'm wearing right now are probably gifts from you or your mom.

Or my mom.

Yeah. So anyway, anyway.

All right, so for wipes, one of my favorite things is getting like when Dave will do a pre planned date night. Okay. And I know some of you listening are like, what? That's so broad. So let me get really specific again. This does not have to be expensive. I think it's really about planning an experience. Like, I remember one Christmas you got me Carrie Underwood concert tickets.

I did.

And it was just so good. And like we did sit in the nosebleeds because he knew I wouldn't enjoy it if he spent a fortune on it. Because neither one of us like to spend a lot of money on concert tickets. Because we're like, we're in the room, we're hearing the person.

So she looks so tiny from where we were.

She looked tiny. But it was awesome.

It was a great fun.

It was so fun. And we went to dinner beforehand, but. But it was really a great experience. And I remember one year I got him and you guys, this was like my favorite. This could go really for husbands or wives based, you know, depending on if you're spouse is an experienced person when it comes to gifts. But one year I got him. What's that comedian's name? I'm totally Weird Al. I got him Weird Al tickets.

Weird Al Yankovic concert tickets.

It was so good.

It was the. It was so fun. I mean, because I grew up, I was a total nerd and.

And I'm a nerd weird out.

Who's a brilliant performer. By the way, yes, it was one of the most fun concerts I've ever been to. Like, it was the greatest orchestra, but it was like, I haven't had that much fun in a long time and really? Yeah. Just a great show and a great, great experience.

Exactly. And the thing I love about these pre planned date nights or preplanned experiences is it's not only a gift for your spouse, it's actually a gift to be enjoyed together. And so we really, we both love giving experiences to each other. But I want to say this. I saw this online somewhere. I don't know what source it was, but you may have heard of this. So if you really want to plan a fun date night, do what people refer to as like a Goodwill or thrift store date night, where you literally go to a Goodwill or a thrift stor, you each shop for each other and get like the most ridiculous outfit you can find and you promise each other that you're going to wear it on the date and then you proceed to change at the thrift store or Goodwill and then you wear that outfit the whole rest of the day and just have a blast together being like incognito 70s leisure suit. Exactly. Like find just something really unique. And I've seen where people do this and maybe someday we can do this and we will put it on our Instagram stories. It would be so fun. But that would be a really fun preplanned date night. Maybe you go to a nicer restaurant since it's like a, you know, it's a gift and so you go to a little bit nicer place than you would on a normal date night. But it's just about putting some thought into it. You know, on the blog I mentioned maybe going and setting up a ballroom dance lesson or going to one of those ax throwing places, you know, doing something that you don't normally do on a date and then just really, really playing to what your spouse would like. Because if it's a gift for your wife, you know, take her to places that, that she wants to go, not necessarily where you want to go, but then go along for the ride and, and just see the joy in her eyes. It's awesome.

I love it. So.

Right. You want to share something?

Yeah. Well, for guys, first on my list is really the same thing. An experience with you centered around his favorite hobby or team. Ladies, your husband wants to experience fun stuff with you. So if you find something that he's into, like if, if he's into, you know, golf, like go and hit a Round of golf balls with him. And you might have fun with that. If he's into a certain sports team, buy tickets to a game, even if you're not really into football or whatever it is, but go with him and experience it with him. He would, he would love that. I took Ashley to an NFL game one time and she was not.

I was really not looking forward.

She ended up having a ball. She was like, I get it now. I get why people are into.

I was hugging strangers, like over the.

Our team won the goal.

That happened. It was the touchdown, whatever.

The goal. Yeah, he hit a home run.

That's as much knowledge as I have.

But we had a good time.

We did. It was so great.

So engage with him in his world, you know, with whatever he's into, because it shows. Hey, I value you and I value what you're into. I see you and I want it. I want you to enjoy it and I want to enjoy it with you. I want to be part of experiencing every part of your world. And he'll love it.

He will. All right, Number two for wives is husbands. If you can do this, I know she will cherish it forever. Okay. But try to get your wife a custom designed piece of jewelry. Now when I just said that, I know a lot of you were like, wait a minute, I just see dollar signs. Because you're thinking you have to go to like the really nice jewelry store in town and spend like thousands of dollars. You can do that if that's what you want to do. But there are other ways really to get a sentimental gift that's not necessarily going to break the bank. And one way, and I Love Plunder. Okay. PlunderDesigns.com and we can put this in the show notes.

Not a sponsor of this podcast.

Not a sponsor.

Throwing it out.

They actually are a Christian based company, so I love that. But it actually is. It's what we refer to as costume jewelry, meaning it's not necessarily real gold, but it's made from good materials and you can get some things that are customized with your name on it. Years ago there was my friend who actually was a Plunder and is a Plunder representative. Actually put together a thing where you can take a family picture and they basically minimize it and then put it under some glass into this beautiful necklace and it's just beautiful. And it's an awesome keepsake. You could do that. There's other things where you can put your kids names on it and it's a nice piece of jewelry. A bracelet or a ring. Or a necklace that your. Your wife can cherish forever. Maybe it's your wedding date that you put on there. Or maybe you're like pet parents and you love your dog and you put your dog's picture on a little piece of jewelry. Just something that shows you like. I really know that you're a sentimental person, and I want to give you a keepsake that you can hold on to for a long time. It just makes it really special.

So special. I think one year I got Ashley little necklace that had each of our four kids names on it.

I love it.

It was not expensive.

Yes.

Um, but it was. She still wears it years later.

I do. I love it.

And it was just a cool, cool little thing. So anyway. Okay, I'm going to share two in a row for the sake of time and also because, you know, I had a slight.

Have more.

So number two on my list is something that set to celebrate your sex life as a couple. All right? And so, ladies, this could be buying yourself some sexy lingerie, letting him unwrap it, and then saying. And this whispering to him like, I'm going to put this on and you can unwrap me later. I'm telling you, it'll blow his mind. It'll be his favorite. Yes, yes. And so. And you'll get some nice lingerie out of the deal. So everybody wins. That's a win all around.

Or, ladies, you can actually plan, like, you can combine two of these. Okay, We've done this before, so that's why I'm sharing this. But you can plan a nice little date. Like, you go to a restaurant, you have that. That experience together, and then at the end of it, you tell your husband, and the rest of the present comes later because I'm wearing it, and literally.

Oh, my gosh, he's not going to eat dinner. I love it. All right, My second one is not as sexy, but just something basic that solves an everyday problem that he complains about. So I'm a super practical guy. I hate the fact that cell phone chargers are always missing in our house. No matter how many we have, they're never around.

They're always missing.

And so, like, one year, the kids or somebody got me, like, some cell phone chargers, and I loved it. I'm like, yes. I feel seen, I feel heard.

Can I share one other one? That was a practical one I got you years ago, and it was kind of a joke, but you actually love it.

Oh, this is a blood pressure machine. Okay. So I'm like an old man that I'm always like worried about my blood pressure and stuff. This is what you young people have to look forward to, by the way, you young people, where everything still works, right?

You're only 43.

I know, but I, you know, it's. I'm a, I'm a weathered 43.

Oh my gosh.

And so, well, he go to Kroger.

Kroger is a grocery store for those of you in other parts of the United States.

Blood pressure machine. And I didn't know if I could trust it. And I'm like, I gotta know what my blood pressure is. So it's such an old guy thing to do. But Ashley got me my own battery powered blood pressure cuff and I can check my blood pressure whenever I want. And he does and I do. And I think just having it has probably slightly lowered my blood pressure because I'm not as worried about it anymore. Cause I can check it.

You do learn.

Thanks for bringing that up.

I know. I just, you know, I knew you'd love it. So you felt seen?

You know, I felt seen.

You were so excited. All right, so for the watch, wives, husbands, here's some other ideas. Get your wife a membership to something. And I gave some ideas on this. So like something like Stitch Fix.

Stitch.

Stitch Fix is basically, what do you call it, a stylist, basically, that you would have to put some clothes together. So for people who are like, I have nothing to wear, like, I, I have all these clothes, but I don't know how to put them together. You know, maybe your wife, maybe she's hinting at you, like, man, I would love a stylist. Or I would love to, you know, just to have some ideas of what to put together. Maybe you can get her a Stitch Fix membership. You can go to stitch fix.com for that. Or maybe she really likes to cook and she wants to try some new recipes. Maybe you get her a membership to, you know, some of these different food memberships where you have meals. There's a lot of them out there. Like playdate.com, we have. What's the other one? I'm totally drawing a blank on?

HelloFresh.

HelloFresh.com.

Yes, HelloFresh is a sponsor of this podcast and they make delicious food, so.

Absolutely. They do make delicious food.

Use promo code, naked and you can.

There you go. That's right. If she's into working out, maybe you go to fabletics.com fabletic. Fabletics. That's hard to say, but it's like fab and athletics put together. Fabletics.com where she can get like really nice workout gear. They have all kinds of beautiful sets that you can get together and you can also have a membership where I believe it's like every quarter or so she can get like a new workout outfit and feel like she's styling. All right, so. So there's some ideas for that.

I love it. All right, so coming back to the personalized gifts, my number four is something personalized, but it's not going to be probably a necklace with the kids names on it like I got for Ashley. Maybe he'll be into that. But guys love something that's practical and personalized. Like for instance, one year I got my father in law whose Last name is McCray and he loves to like, you know, serve food at cookouts and everything. I got him his metal tin that you can hold drinks and ice in and I And it said McCray's Pub on it. I think the whole gift, including personalization costs like 25 bucks online. Yes. And he loves it and still uses it and displays it like when he's not using it. And it was just a basic gift, but he loved that it was practical. He loved that it had his name on it. And when you give a guy something like that that he can use and it also is personalized, he's going to think this is awesome.

Exactly. I love it. All right. For the ladies, many ladies, okay. I would say if not most, really love some self care kind of gifts. Okay. So like a spa experience. And this can look a lot of different ways. It can be a massage, it can be a facial, you know, to maybe the local place like where maybe she talks about her friends going and she hasn't been in a long time and you're like, that's the place. You know, maybe get her a gift certificate to go there or one of the coolest like self care spa experience places I've seen recently that are kind propping up around the United States is what they call a salt cave. And it's basically like a cave they've put together inside usually like a strip mall where you go in the store and they have what they call a Himalayan sea salt cave. And it's, it's basically Himalayan sea salt pieces they've put together and then they've lit up with a light and supposedly kind of the ions that come off of these Himalayan sea salt clusters are good for your health and they're good for breathing. If you are an allergy sufferer and you go in there and it's Just really peaceful. And they play music. And sometimes they even pair it with other spa treatments like massages or facials and such. And so look for that. A Himalayan sea salt cave experience. You know, let her get her nails done. She liked to get pedicures. Does she like to get manicures? Maybe get her a gift certificate to her favorite place where she goes to get that.

So good. So good. All right, so my number five is anything that celebrates his manliness. Here are some examples. So, like, maybe he's really into his beard or his facial hair. Yes. You know, I don't. I never finished puberty, apparently. Like, I don't have good facial hair when I try to grow it. Even my adolescent children mock the effort. You know, they. They.

You just have too good of a chin.

Well, you're too kind. But I love how you see. See, you find that. You find the bright side. No, but I don't have a beard. But if I did, I would want. I would be way into it. Like, I would. I would want to trim it, quaff it, oil it, all those things. And so, you know, get him some beard oil or something if he's into that. Or maybe he's into tools. Buy him some new tools. Maybe he's into golf. You know, buy him, you know, something that goes with that. Maybe he's. Whatever he's into, basically. Again, this is. Romance equals thoughtfulness. Just be thoughtful. Just saying, like, hey, I know you're into this, and I celebrate this aspect of who you are. And so I want to give you a gift that affirms that and also is a practical thing you can use too.

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All right, so number six is something big, quote big that's mostly for him, but that the whole family would enjoy, too. Like, if he's into grilling, get him a grill one year, and the whole family's gonna use it. Really, it's a way to trick him into cooking dinner more often, is all a grill is. And so get him that, or, you know, maybe. Maybe save up. And if he's wanted a new tv, get a new tv. But it's something the whole family's going to use. Put it out front in the main room so the whole family's using it. But you're saying this is mostly dad's gift because he loves watching the games on this, but our whole family is going to enjoy it, and he'll love that it's a gift that he'll enjoy, but that he'll know the whole family can enjoy it, too.

Yes. All right. For the ladies, this is something that I think really men and women enjoy, but that's planning and giving, gifting a getaway together. And again, this doesn't necessarily have to break the bank. You could splurge if you want to. Maybe you haven't had a getaway overnight, you know, together in a long time. Maybe you do splurge, but even just one night away can do wonders for your marriage. You know, not too long ago, it was Dave's birthday, and I was thinking, you know, man, he's not really a gift person, but what's, like, an experience that. That he would like? There were no concerts really going on in our town at the time that would interest him. And so I was like, you know what? Maybe we can go to this local inn about an hour away from where we live. I can set up, you know, for a babysitter to come watch our kids, and we'll just go for literally 24 hours and spend time together. And then, because it was Dave's birthday, I picked a restaurant I knew he would like, which was a steakhouse. And it was like the sweetest little trip that we didn't even know we both needed. But you loved it.

It was right up the road. We didn't. You know, we didn't break the bank, even though it was a nice dinner and we stayed a nice place. But it was just one night. Yeah, it was just down the road from us. We didn't buy plane tickets or anything.

It was.

And we felt like we were a world away for that 24 hours. It was so rejuvenating for both of us. And that time away, it really matters. And maybe, you know, you're in a season right now where you've got young kids and you just think, man, we just, there's no way we could get away because, you know, we don't have family in town to watch our kids. We've really almost never had family to watch our kids. There have been a few times through the years that my parents have helped out with an overnight trip, and I'm so thankful for that. But we've mostly had to just kind of figure this out on our own to budget for it, to recruit some reliable babysitters who might be able to do an overnight for us. It is worth the effort, it's worth the expense to do that sometimes to get that on the calendar. And it will make a difference in your marriage to just have that time away to recharge, reset, reconnect as a couple. Um, and so, yeah, that's a gift that both of you will enjoy. It is.

And I want to say this, husbands, if you're specifically getting this for your wife, think about, is there like a local inn, bed and breakfast, something really nice, or maybe it's a snazzy hotel where your wife has always talked about it and has always been like, oh, I wonder what it's like in there. Or, you know, so and so said that that place has like the most beautiful indoor pool ever. Like, you know, if she's ever said that, even if she's not hinting or fishing for something, just remembering when did she talk about a special place in town and go to that place and then it'll just be so cool because then she does get to experience it. And not only that, but she gets to experience it with you. And I think that whenever we know that our spouse has really put some thought into it and has remembered little details that we shared that we didn't even like, we barely remembered. Sharing it just means the world to us.

Yeah. And that leads into the last one. This can go for men and women and it's really find something that speaks to their specific love language. You know, I love the the five Love languages book. That's, you know, like the best selling marriage book of all time at this point. But there's a free online assessment you can do related to that to find your love language and your spouse's. And the whole premise is that we each receive love in different ways. It can be acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, and the list goes on. And so find, find something that's really going to connect and be most meaningful to your spouse with your gift, whether you're buying it for your husband or your wife. But get something that's really going to let them know. I want you to know that I love you and I'm into you, and this is something I know you're going to appreciate. So, again, it's just thoughtfulness, guys. Romance equals thoughtfulness. So be as thoughtful as you can. Let your spouse know. I put thought into this. This year. I put thought into this, and that's going to mean a lot to him. And, and we hope that it's a wonderful Christmas season for you, for your family. And yeah. Merry Christmas, guys. But before we wrap up, we are going to do a Q and A. Thank you, guys. For those who send in questions, we love the questions you send in. If you're not following us on Instagram, you can find us at Dave and Ashley Willis. You can look us up on Facebook or you can message. You can send your questions to nakedmarriagepodcast.com and here's today's question, which we're not seeing until right now. My husband has been on a work trip for three months. It's so hard to have an intimate relationship when your spouse is away. I don't masturbate on a regular basis, but I've noticed myself wanting that pleasure when he's away. What is your opinion on doing that when your spouse is away for long periods of time? Great question.

Yeah.

And, I mean, we totally sympathize. You know, we've got a lot of friends in the military community, folks that get on these deployments for, you know, nine months or even longer, and they're thinking, how do we maintain a sexual connection? How do we maintain some sexual pleasure when physically we're completely apart from one another? And, you know, we've had questions of like, can we, can we make homemade porn for each other? Can we? I mean, there are all kinds of nuanced questions to it, but we're not going to chase all those rabbit holes right now. And we're going to focus specifically on the question about is masturbation okay. When you and your spouse are away and there's no other, there's no other option. My quick answer would be, I don't see anything in scripture that says that it's a sin to masturbate while fantasizing about your spouse. Like, if fantasy, whether you're masturbating or not, if you're feeding fantasies that aren't related to your spouse, Then that lust in itself is destructive. And so you got to make sure that your thoughts are on your spouse, your sexual thoughts, whether they're physically there with you or not. And in that way, I mean, I could say, not that you need me to referee, you know, your, your home life, but just in my opinion, I don't see a sin issue with it. To me, the, the, the thing to be, I guess, cautious about is getting into any kind of masturbation habit. What you can do without meaning to is subtly make sex a solo sport. You're subtly making sex just all about your own pleasure. That when you do reconnect and you are back in each other's arms again, if you've conditioned your mind and your body to just quickly get to orgasm and make it just all because masturbation is very self focused. Right. I mean, no other person's pleasure is involved in, can actually make you less effective lover and spouse because you've got to get out of the habit of making it all about yourself. And I would just be cautious about that because if we get in too much of a masturbation habit, then all of a sudden our spouse can almost just become a tool for our own masturbation instead of the partner that we're making love with. And so just being mindful of those things. So to me it's not an issue of like right or wrong, sin or not sin, as much as it's like what's going to help us not only in this period when we're away, but what's going to help long term to be most healthy for our sex life.

Right. No, I think that's, that's so important because it is understandable that you have these feelings and you want to connect and hopefully you're talking to your husband about that. I mean, I think it's important to talk about these things like I miss you, I feel I really need you and you know, and really talk through that. A lot of the couples that we have that live, you know, in a long distance a relationship for maybe a short time, whether they're military or otherwise, they usually do find points of connection where they can kind of. I mean, I think masturbation usually is involved where they're connecting together, maybe over the phone.

Right? Yeah.

And trying to kind of have that experience with their spouse. And that tends to keep your mind more on, on your spouse rather than other things, because that is the danger. I think it's easy to fall into maybe watching stuff that we really didn't think we'd find ourselves watching, but it's because we're trying to kind of meet our own needs. And so we definitely want to steer clear of pornography. Graphic, you know, erotica, slash romance novels that are super, you know, for just. Just for sexual meeting sexual needs and through masturbation. So we just need to be really careful with that. And I can tell this. This wife writing us, I mean, she knows, like, she's very wise, and it's a wise question. It's a wise question. And she's a human being, you know, and she loves her husband, and she has those needs and is accustomed, probably, to having sex regularly with him. And so I would just talk with him, try to find ways where maybe you can sexually connect virtually with your husband in a very safe way. Be very careful when using technology just because, you know, if it's recorded to. It's always out there. If you have children, you got to be super careful. So just. I just always say be. Be very mindful of that.

Yeah, so. And we've got some great resources, too, on that dynamic when you're physically apart. An episode called Commuter Marriage that I encourage you to look up as a starting point. But thank you so much for that question. Thanks guys for tuning in, and we will look forward to seeing you next time.

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