Healthy Boundaries with In-Laws

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Thank you for listening to the Naked Marriage podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis and this podcast is dedicated, dedicated to undressing the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love.

And we are so glad you're here with us. It is Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas. Now, you might be listening to this in July, so don't turn it off. This isn't just about Christmas, but if you are listening live, we do want to wish you a Merry Christmas. And the topic we're talking about today has extra relevance at the holidays. But also it's something that can have a big impact on your marriage all year long. We are talking about healthy relationships with your in laws. So let's dive in.

Hey guys. You know, we're going to talk about something today that is just a huge barrier for a lot of marriages and it's a complicated one because it involves our parents and our in laws and our spouse. And so it's very delicate and it can be really hard to navigate. And that's why we're probably gonna have more than one episode about this. But we wanna talk today about setting boundaries with our parents and in laws.

Yeah, and it's a great follow up from last week. Last week we talked about kids and how, you know, stress that comes from parenting can really work its way into the marriage and especially this time of year. If you're listening to this right when it comes out, of course, today is Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Oh, it's a wonderful time of the year. But Christmas, it really can amplify whatever's happening in your family dynamics. And what I mean by that is the good things that are happening in your family get amplified and feel even sweeter at Christmas. But those difficult dynamics, the stresses, the hardships, the drama, that can get amplified as well. And potentially one of the most complicated relationships that will impact your marriage is that relationship with in laws. It can be one of the greatest gifts in your life, the friendship that you have now as an adult with your parents and with your in laws. But, and a lot of people write to us about this. A lot of people. We had in fact an in depth conversation with some friends yesterday and we'll probably talk a little bit about that conversation as we Go today where that in law stress, specifically, it was a mother daughter dynamic. And then the husband is trying to figure out how to deal with his mother in law's kind of sense of really trying to control their family and really trying to have this codependent bond with her daughter that was even, I don't know, it's messy and it can just be messy. We want to acknowledge that. And maybe you're listening to this and you're kind of gearing yourself up to go over to the in laws house at Christmas Eve and maybe you're going to your in law's house and it's the most wonderful time of the year because you love them and they love you and it's just, it's cookies and no drama and lots of hugs. But for a lot of folks behind those hugs, there's a lot of tension and a lot of wounds and a lot of hurts because of things that have been said and done over the course of your relationship. And we just want to acknowledge that that's a real pain that a lot of people are feeling. And we want to have an honest conversation over the next 25 minutes or so to help you navigate that. This Christmas, but also beyond Christmas. This is a year long thing and you might be listening to this in July. Whenever you're listening to this, hopefully these principles will hold true. We just want to give you some hope and some tools to build a healthy dynamic with them and specifically to have some healthy boundaries that are going to protect everyone involved.

And boundaries are essential. And you know, when it comes to our own parents, you know, we're grown, we're married, we, we've been living on our own for a while. But even when our parents are in the picture, you know, it can be complicated, especially when we have a parent that really wants to dominate, you know, and have, have too much say in our marriage, maybe want too much of our time and really kind of takes us from our spouse that can really be detrimental to a marriage. And so when we were talking to this couple yesterday, we were talking about this specifically and I know we touched on this last episode, we talked about parenting last podcast episode, and we talked about a codependent relationship between a parent and a child from the parent's perspective and kind of how that plays out. Well, today we're going to talk about it from the child's perspective, from the grown child's perspective. And with this couple we talked to yesterday, this daughter, you know, she, she's been married for a while, but her mother shows up Unannounced all the time. She constantly wants to kind of take her off by herself and have time with her daughter and take her from her family. And she really does not respect the timing that this wife and her husband set for their family because to this mom, she thinks I'm the mom. I set the time, I show up when I wanna show up and you guys just rise to the occasion because it's a control issue. And as I was talking to this wife, she said, I love my mom, I love my husband. I constantly feel like my heart is being torn in two because I don't wanna hurt my mom's feelings. But I also wanna respect and love my husband and, and put my marriage first.

For the husband, it's complicated because he's saying, I want to love my wife. I don't want to see her torn, conflicted. I also want to honor my mother in law. I want to honor them. I want to foster a healthy relationship and dynamic with them. I don't want to be this kind of hard nosed guy that just says no, we're just going to cut you out of our lives, which would be easier.

And honestly, that's unhealthy too.

That's unhealthy too. And that's not what he wants. He wants a healthy dynamic here. And so I think it's complicated for him, for the husbands in that situation to say how do I navigate, how do I lead my family through this, which is a husband, is a unique responsibility we have in leadership. How do I protect my family? How do I lead my family while fostering healthy relationships, while honoring, because we're called to honor parents and in laws, but at the same time to follow that biblical mandate that I protect the sanctity of this marriage, that and of our family, I put healthy boundaries in place. And we just wanna acknowledge first off that it can be so complicated. It can be hard to know in each specific situation what is the best thing in this situation. But I think there are some principles that will hold true.

It's so true. And I think a lot of times when we have this codependent relationship, especially between a mother and a daughter, I'm gonna talk specifically about that right now because we hear from so many people about that.

So that's what it is. I mean it's, it's the mother daughter dynamic.

It can be, you know, maybe a dad and his daughter or a dad and the son, or a mom and the son. It can, sure, all of those dynamics. But I'm gonna talk specifically right now about a mother and a daughter. You know, a lot of times that mother who wants the daughter's time so much, she's looking to her daughter to fulfill a void that she is not getting filled at home. And that was the situation with the couple that we were talking to the other day. And so this daughter feels sorry for her mom. You know, she wants to be there for her mom. She wants to have time with her mom. It's not that she doesn't love her, want to spend time with her, but when that time supersedes what you're spending with your family, and constantly this mother demands that you put her before your spouse. That is just not how God designed it. You know, when we get married, our first loyalty has to be with our spouse. It's not our parents anymore. It doesn't mean we don't love them. It doesn't mean we don't respect them. But our parents are no longer in authority over us. And so we can't allow them to dominate our time. We can't allow them to dominate our resources. We can't allow them to pull us away from our family. And I think when this happens, when we do allow them to, we're really enabling them, and we make them think this is okay, and they're gonna do it more and more and more. Because a lot of times when this happens, the one who keeps on trying to dominate, like the mother who keeps on trying to pull her daughter aside, she really might have some control issues. She probably doesn't realize it. And so what you have to do is you have to set boundaries. And I want to be really clear with this. If it is your parent who is the one who is trying to dominate your marriage or dominate your time, or dominate, maybe even they're talking badly about your spouse, Whatever it is they're doing, if it's your parent, it needs to come from you. You have to set the boundaries. You can't expect your spouse to do it. Your spouse needs to be there to support you. Because if your spouse goes to your mom and says, I'm sorry, but you're taking up too much of our time, you can't just show up when you want to. Your mom's gonna end up hating your spouse. Okay, yeah. They won't forget it. They won't forget those hurtful words. But if it comes from you, you're their child. They may not like it at the time, they're probably gonna throw a fit. They're probably gonna give you a hard time, and they might even hang up the phone or if you're doing it in a phone conversation, they may walk away if you're doing it in person, but they're gonna eventually rise to the occasion because they want to spend time with you. And I will tell you it'll take more time than you're probably thinking it will take to set these boundaries. But what we have to do when we set boundaries is we have to be consistent. We can't say it one time and then allow them to dominate the next time. We have to consistently set the boundaries.

Right. You have a responsibility to set the ground rules for what a healthy relationship with you looks like.

Exactly.

And you have to teach other people, parents and in laws included, you have to teach other people how to treat you. And you teach them how to treat you, one, by how you treat them and two, by how you allow them to treat you. So you treat them with respect. But that respect doesn't mean you become a doormat. That respect doesn't mean that you let them walk all over you. We keep using this word, boundaries. And I want to recommend a very, very practical and powerful book to you. One book we always recommend is the Naked Marriage book. Check it out. Nakedmarriagebook.com you can get all the information there. But this recommendation is actually an addition to the Naked Marriage book. And that's a book called Boundaries by doctors John Townsend and Henry Cloud, which from a biblical perspective, from brilliantly researched perspective, giving practical tools will explain how to put boundaries in place that will protect everyone else involved. And when you're trying to impose boundaries on a parent or an in law or anybody really who's used to getting their own way, who is selfish, which all of us are selfish by nature, but has been enabled to be selfish for so long that they become that they're rarely challenged. They're rarely challenged. And when they are challenged, sometimes they'll just lose their mind. And you know, people like this, and maybe you have a parent or an in law who's like this, those boundaries are gonna be more difficult, but they're even more important. And you cannot, you cannot back down because sometimes for the sake of peace, like the young lady we were talking to yesterday, she's a peacemaker. She's one who just wants there to be peace. And for the sake of peace, you'll actually just kind of submit to whatever this dominant person wants to do. But what that does is actually it makes the problem worse. It creates temporary peace, but it makes the long term situation even more frustrating. And a lot of you are probably shaking your heads right now because you're saying that's where I am. In an attempt to make peace, I've let her, I've let him, whoever that person is, have their way. And I've just gone along with it over and over again in an attempt to make peace. But what it's done is it's made them even more dominant, even more demanding, and now it's gotten completely undoable. Like, I can't sustain this. It's killing me. It's killing my marriage.

Oh, yeah.

And if it's become to that crisis, you've gotta take action now and say, look, I'm not gonna live like this. I'm not gonna sabotage my marriage, my peace of mind, so that you can always get your way. It's not healthy, it's not right. And so we're gonna have some healthy boundaries. And that book will help you have the language to use to do it, and it'll help guide you through that very delicate process. But you have to have the courage to make those first steps.

That's right. And, you know, I mean, we can talk through this. Like, how would that conversation be again? It needs to come from the person who is like, if it's your parent, you need to be the one setting these boundaries verbally, whether in person or on the phone with your parent. And it may go something like this. Like if your mom calls again and says, I want you to come at this time, you know, for Christmas this year, you know, and it needs to be at this time. And if it's not, you don't love me. And if you and your spouse have talked, because believe me, I know this happens. If you and your spouse have talked about when you're going to celebrate Christmas with the families, because you're trying to juggle two families here, sometimes even more than that, you know, because there's sometimes step families involved and you've got a lot of scheduling. You need to talk to your mom and you need to say, mom, I love you. But this year, you know, I'm going to use Dave. We're talking. Dave and I, we, we need to, to come for Christmas on this day. We love you guys, but this is when we can come this year. Your mom is going to go, well, then you don't love me. I mean, grandma's going to be there. I mean, all your cousins are going to be there. How can you do this to me? Do you not? I mean, how can. We are your family. You have to stand up and you have to say, mom, yes, you are my family. I love you guys, but my husband is also my family. And we are our own family unit. And this year we have to do it this way. You know, we really wanna see you guys. We can come on such and such date and if she still throws a fit and she starts cussing at you, she starts calling you names, whatever it is you have to say, mom, I love you, but I don't think this is a healthy way to talk to each other. So I, I'm going to need to go until we can have a healthier conversation. And sometimes it means you have to hang up that phone not in an angry way, but in a loving way, saying, I'm choosing to hang up now because you are talking to me in a way that is really hurtful and I know you don't mean these things. And so it's giving her the benefit of the doubt and still keeping peace. And you're calm. And I will also say this, there's gonna probably be words exchanged where you don't, you know, you don't feel calm and you're like, oh, I wanna retaliate. You know, that's when you need to say, mom, I'm gonna go, I'm getting really upset and I wanna talk to you in a loving way.

I love you.

I don't love you too.

I don't wanna say things that I'm gonna regret.

Right. I love you too much to let this get nasty. And I'm telling you, over time these conversations will get easier and more understandable. But we have to be willing to have those kind of conversations. But I will tell you, especially if you're dealing with a controlling parent, a controlling, in law, it's gonna be battle for a while. It's gonna be. They're not gonna like it.

No. And some of them, and I'm not like a psychologist, but sometimes they get to full blown narcissists, sociopaths. It's like you can't even reason with them. But even in those situations, you have to have those boundaries. Even if they never get it, you.

Still have to stick to your boundaries.

You still have to force those boundaries. And just practically here are some of the places we'll run through. Like, how do you enforce boundaries as it relates to time, the expectation of them wanting to control your time. How do you enforce boundaries as it relates to what is okay and out of bounds emotionally? Because sometimes people will try to manipulate using their emotions. If they won't get their way one way, they'll resort to anger. They'll resort to tears. How do you, in a respectful way, keep boundaries in place there with grandkids? Sometimes kids can be used as pawns, sadly, in this whole thing. And then especially around the holidays, as Ashley just gave that example of when they say, well, if you love me, you're gonna do it this way. And they demand and they bully and they essentially make their love conditional. If you don't show up here, then it means you don't really love me. And of course, that's just a terribly unhealthy manipulation.

Guys.

Manipulative way to lead any kind of conversation. Bottom line is holidays. You're gonna disappoint somebody no matter what you do. Like, pretty much not even at the holidays. Every decision I make disappoints somebody. And you cannot base your decisions on, oh, well, I don't wanna disappoint. You have to say, what's the healthiest thing? What's the best thing for our marriage, for our core family, which is you, your spouse and your kids? What is the best thing for them? And sometimes a decision will even disappoint kids. But you have to do what's best and what's healthy, not think, how can we please everybody? Because if your goal is to please everybody, you're never gonna do it. And you're always gonna be exhausted, you're gonna grow resentful, Nobody is gonna win. And so you have to set out, remove all the emotion from the situation and say, what does an ideal, healthy holiday look like for us? What does an ideal healthy dynamic with our family look like? And then start working toward that with Black Friday savings. At the Home Depot, you can get up to 40% off, plus up to an extra thousand dollars off select appliances like lg, America's most reliable line of appliances. Check out the newest LG refrigerator with new mini craft ice straight from the dispenser shop. Black Friday savings on select LG appliances. Plus get free delivery now at the Home Depot. Free delivery on appliance purchases of $396 or more. Offer valid11.5 through12.3 US only. See store online for details. Blue Sky Some people think nature is like this, but actually it's like Mother Nature is not all sunshine and rainbows. Nature can be hotter than a sauna and colder than an arctic skinny dip. That's why Columbia engineers everything we make for anything nature can throw at you. Columbia engineered for whatever.

And I think too, we need to talk about how when we do not have healthy boundaries with our family, with our extended family, with Our in laws with our parents, it really, you know, it takes away the peace in our home. And every time you choose to let your parents dominate you and dominate your family, and you're kind of choosing them over your spouse, and you're not allowing your marriage to be that first loyalty, and that breaks your spouse's heart, and it really builds up a bitterness and a frustration. And what you'll find is the longer. And I know Dave touched on this earlier, but the longer you wait to set those boundaries, the worse your relationship will be with your parents, but also your spouse's relationship with your parents. And so we've got to do this. And it is hard. I know sometimes it seems easier just to kind of sweep it under the rug. Maybe some of you live far away from your parents and you're like, well, we're far away. I don't only have to deal with it a couple times a year. It's still there, guys. It's still there. And you can't just sweep problems under the rug. You have to deal with them head on. And you have to really let your parents know what your first loyalty is, and that's with your spouse. But I'm telling you, when you do that, that makes your spouse realize how much you love and respect them, and that really makes your marriage bond that much better. And it really helps your marriage to thrive because there's no wishy washiness, like, who's gonna win today? You know what I'm saying? Like, I think that there's this, oh, it's me against her mom, it's me against his dad, or whatever it is. Whichever parent is trying to kind of, you know, pass those boundaries, we need to realize that we've got to make sure that our family is healthy. And that's by, you know, first our first loyalty, being with our spouse and making decisions in that fashion. And again, it doesn't mean that we don't talk to our parents or we don't have a good relationship with them. This is how we have a good relationship with them. This is how we can have more peace in our family. Because when we allow someone who is domineering to just step all over us and rule our time, that's not healthy and that's not peaceful. God wants us to have a life full of peace. And so we have to be willing to. To put those boundaries in place.

I love that word, peace. And this time of year, as we're looking at Christmas and we're celebrating the prince of peace coming into our world, do whatever you can do to have peace in your own heart. The Bible says, let the peace of Christ rule in your heart. God wants you, as Ashley said, to have peace in your life. The Bible also says, as far as it depends on you in Romans, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everybody. And I love that verse because it challenges us to be peacemakers. And as far as it depends on you, everything in your power to promote peace. But it also leaves open that possibility that some people won't live at peace with you or they'll make peace so conditional that it's really an unhealthy, manipulative bargain that's not worth taking. And we have to be willing to have the faith and the strength and the courage sometimes to say, I'm not willing to compromise the principles what God has outlined in the Bible just to promote a false, temporary kind of peace. I want the real thing. I want wholeness. I want health in our family. If you're a spouse, a parent listening to this, and you have kids who are married or getting to marrying age, listen, please make the decision, Please make the decision to foster health and foster a healthy dynamic in your family. You have so much power in that, to do that, to foster that healthy dynamic, or to let selfish motives get in the way and really create an unhealthy dynamic. So even before you have kids that age, this is something Ashley and I talk about now. We're already having the conversations about how to be healthy in laws someday, how to support and love and cherish our future daughters in law, how to support our sons and their independence as husbands and dads, and to encourage them and, and be friends with them and supporters of them and cheerleaders for them, while at the same time helping them thrive and not being demanding or manipulative. Make that a part of what you're talking about as a husband and a wife.

And I wanna say this too. If you are listening and you're that parent, like Dave said, and you struggle with this, like you struggle with wanting to just have more time with your son or your daughter. And you're like, it just kills me. Cause I just want time with them. I'm not trying to control. That's really not my aim. But I just want time. I just, again, I just wanna say, I see you like, we understand, we get it. It really is too.

We're not trying to demonize you for wanting to spend time with your child.

Exactly. But the best thing for your child is for them to prioritize their marriage over their Time and relationship with you, because if they don't do that, they're not gonna have a thriving marriage. And so one of the most loving things you can do as a parent is to give them the space to do that. And if they come running to you and they start badmouthing their spouse, and, you know, I'm not saying if there's, like, some real issue going on here, but I'm saying, like, they just always want to run to you and complain about their spouse. The best thing you could do is say, sweetie, I love you. But this complaining about your spouse isn't getting you anywhere. You need to go home and work this out.

Yes.

Like, that's one of the best things you can do. That's being a good parent to support your kids and having a thriving marriage. Or you can say, listen, I think you need to see a counselor for this. Here's a name of a counselor near us. Like, that's being a supportive parent.

And.

Cause I think so many times as parents, I mean, we just have to sacrifice for our kids. And for you right now, it might be sacrificing a little bit of that time so that your child can really cultivate a healthy marriage. And I know that's easier said than done sometimes. So I just wanna say, like, if you are struggling with wanting that time, we're not trying to make you feel guilty for it, but we're just trying to help you see what the healthy dynamic is. Now, on the other hand, maybe some of you are listening to this and you're thinking, my spouse. It's not necessarily my spouse's parents that are trying to dominate, but my spouse is constantly wanting to be with his mom or wanting to be, you know, with the dad. And they just want to spend more time with their mom or dad than me. You know, years ago, I remember I wrote a blog about how I think it was entitled something like, 5 Reasons why a Husband Should Love His Wife More than He Loves His Mother. And now I realize some of you listening to this are like, well, that's a different kind of love. Like, I get that. I totally get that. But what I mean by that is that you need to prioritize your wife. It's about time with your wife more than with your mom. And I got so many messages that were all over the map. Some people were like, yes, I'm so glad to see an article like this, because my husband, it's like he just tells his mom more than he tells me, or he wants to be with his mom more than he's with me, and he's constantly comparing me to his mother. He's constantly saying stuff about the way I cook, about the way I dress, about how I manage my time. And let me tell you guys, if you just want to, like, seriously put a dagger in the heart of your marriage, compare your wife to your mom.

If you never want to have sex.

Again, if you ever want to see her naked, like, see your wife naked, then don't talk about your mother and how different or same she is. Okay?

Mama never cooked it like this. Oh, man. Guys, please. Have more common sense.

Like, it's. Yeah, we gotta. Yeah, you definitely don't make that comparison. And I know, again, this comes from a place of love. And sometimes, guys, you know, when it comes to the son mother dynamic, sometimes you don't even realize. It's weird. You don't realize that that relationship is trying to be misplaced.

A supportive, respectful son. Right? But very quickly, that dynamic, when you start, when your mom is your first call instead of your wife. Yes, ever, when something happens, good or bad, and your mom is your first call, that's messed up.

It is to be the first call.

The first one to share that news with, to share that pain with, to share that joy with. And if your wife is not, then you're getting it completely backward. You're going to wound your wife and you're going to create an unhealthy dynamic with your mom. I want you to have a great relationship with your mom. I have a great relationship with my mom.

You do? And I love it. I love that.

But I also, like, I want mom and Dad's marriage to come before their relationships with any of us. And I want my marriage to come before my relationship with them. That's the only way those relationships can remain healthy. And so, thankfully, that's the dynamic that we have. But it's so easy for boundaries to get crossed. And for guys, maybe your mom is a widow and it complicates the situation because you're trying to care for her and you fulfill the biblical mandate of taking care of a mom in that situation, which is something that we should do, obviously. But even in doing that, we have to always make sure we have to be vigilant. The fact that my wife is my first loyalty, and I'm gonna do whatever I can to take care of my mom, to take care of my relatives, but my wife and my, you know, that's gotta come first.

Right?

And if we lose sight of that.

You know, it's so true. And I just Want to say here, we're not trying to kind of be down on all the moms. It's not just moms that we have issues with here. I've seen this play out with dads. I mean, I really have. Where, especially when it comes to, like, a daughter dad kind of dynamic, there can be a daughter who holds her dad so high, and she compares her husband to her dad constantly.

Right. So the dad's the man in the ladder.

Yes. And that husband never feels like he measures up. Like, I remember early on in our marriage, we redid a house. Like, that's so crazy. I don't know what we were thinking, but we literally got married and then, like, got this head home. I think we've talked about this before on the podcast, needed all this work, and it was literally, it was an extended family helping us all hands on down.

It was fixer upper.

We had 2 cents to our name, so it was a total fixer upper. And my dad, you all. He's seriously, like, MacGyver's loosely based on him. I'm serious. He, like, can do anything. He can do anything. He's just. He's an amazing man. With his hands, he can just build anything, do anything. He's got that mechanical kind of brain that just figures out how stuff works. And I remember when we were doing all this work on the house early. Early on, Dave started feeling a little bit inadequate. I mean, there'd be times where he wouldn't know how to use a certain tool. And I remember he came to me one day, and he was just like, I'm so bad at this stuff. I just. I'm never gonna be like your dad, you know? And I'm like, sweetie, like, I don't expect you to be like my dad. You know, you're gifted at things that my dad. I mean, my dad has said this. He's like, I could never get up in front of all those people and talk about things that you guys talk about. I could never do that. I could never help people in their deepest time of need with their marriage. Like, I don't even know what I would say. Like, there's so many gifts and talents that we all have. And I think when our spouse starts feeling inadequate, like, they're being compared to this big hero in your life, like your parent, you need to just reassure them and say, listen, I didn't marry you because I think you're just like my parent. I married you because you're you. And I love my dad, but you're not my dad. And I love you for it because you guys have different strengths, and I'm not constantly comparing you to him. You know, And I think we just have to go out of our way to reassure our spouse and let them know that we're not having this, like, comparison game in our mind all the time.

No, that's so good. Celebrate the uniqueness in your spouse and also, you know, celebrate the uniqueness in your parents. You know, your parents and your in laws are going to be different.

Love them well. Love them well.

Celebrate them. Celebrate them and develop friendship with them. And even if you're very close to your parents, you might say, my mom's my best friend. My dad's my best friend. And, you know, it's so sweet to have a close relationship, but I think that we need to say, my spouse is my best friend.

Yes.

We need to be able to say, it's my wife, it's my husband. That's my best friend. That's my first call. And then beyond that, I'm so thankful to have such a close relationship with my dad, with my mom. And that's a gift. But just don't let that gift cross the lines to create an unhealthy dynamic in your marriage. And I think that that's kind of what it comes down to. So, sweetie, this is an emotionally charged conversation for a lot of folks, because there are folks that are listening live here on Christmas Eve and thinking, I'm just trying to gather the strength to go over there and not grit my teeth as I'm talking to these folks. Other people that are like, what's the big deal? We've got healthy, wonderful relationships. But if you're still listening, chances are you're listening because this is an issue in your marriage. And we just. So we want to close out first by wishing you a Merry Christmas.

Yes.

And we also want to want to pray a blessing for you. We don't end every or even most podcasts this way, but we just want to. We want to close this out with a prayer of blessing. Now, if you're driving in your car listening, please keep your eyes open.

I'm on the road.

We don't want this to be your last Christmas, but we do just want to pray a prayer of blessing over you this Christmas and in that family dynamic, that the Prince of Peace could bring peace to whatever you're facing. So, sweetie, would you close us out with a prayer?

Yes, Lord. First and foremost, we just thank you so much for the gift of Jesus. I mean, we thank you for bringing us you know, a savior, Lord, for you sending your one and only son to save us and to give us freedom from our sins, Lord, to forgive us for all the horrible things that we do. To give us grace, Lord, and to give us the ability to live a life of freedom and of joy. Lord, we just love you and thank you for that. And right now I just pray for those who are struggling with their relationships with their parents and in laws, Lord. I just pray that they do make their marriage their first priority, their first loyalty. That they have the strength to set those boundaries in the most loving way possible, but in the clearest way possible, Lord. And I just pray that you soften the hearts of their parents and in laws that are gonna hear those words of setting the boundaries, Lord. And I pray they respect it. I pray that the married couple listening that's setting the boundaries can be consistent with those boundaries. And I just pray you bring peace to those relationships, Lord. Peace to the married couple and peace to their relationships with their parents and in laws. Lord, we thank you for the gift of Christmas. We thank you for the gift of family. And we just thank you that you love us like you do. It's in Jesus name. Amen.

Amen. Merry Christmas, guys.

Merry Christmas.

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