The Art of Touch

When the holidays start to feel a bit repetitive, reach for a Sprite Winter Spiced Cranberry and put your twist on tradition. A bold cranberry and winter spice flavor fusion Sprite Winter Spice Cranberry is a refreshing way to shake things up this sipping season, and only for a limited time. Sprite. Obey your thirst. Hey there and welcome back to the Naked Marriage Podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis, and on this podcast address the truth about sex, intimacy, and lifelong love. And we are spending extra time talking about all things intimacy during this series. I hope you all have been enjoying it as much as we have. And if you have missed episodes, go back and watch them because we're really unpacking. What exactly does intimacy mean? Because it's one of those words that we throw around and yet a lot of people are like, well, what exactly do you mean by that? Do. Are we having the same idea of what this means? But, you know, here on the Naked Marriage podcast, our tagline talks about sex, intimacy and lifelong love. And so we want to, we want to kind of talk about how physical intimacy can mean a lot of things. Like, it's not just sexual intercourse. We're going to talk about, you know, some alternative forms of physical intimacy other than sex. But after that, we're also going to give you some tips and techniques for enhancing intimacy and embracing pleasure and connection. So you're going to want to stick around for this whole episode.

I'm excited to stick around for this whole episode. You got me excited talking about.

I love how you change your voice when you're like, yes, I will stick around.

Yeah, well, I'm just, I'm excited about it. So along with all the listeners, I'm here for it. All right.

I love it. I love how it got over.

So we're gonna talk about all that. Plus, if your spouse is never in the mood for sex, we'll tell you why and how you can change that potentially overnight. So before we jump into that, though, do us a favor, guys, review and follow us. If you're listening on Apple, hit the follow button on top of our show page. It helps other people find this podcast. So if you're getting something out of this podcast, and I truly hope you are, you can let other people benefit as well by just hitting follow.

That's right. And I want you all to know about a really exciting thing that you will want to be a part of this May. Every day in May, join us and other EXO speakers as we go through a free 30 day devotional together on EXO now click on the link in the description to join us for the free 30 day I will devotional to start today and do it the rest of the month with us. If you're listening to this at a later date, you can still do the 30 day devotional. Just click on the link in the description to get started.

Yeah, we had a lot of fun putting that together. It's great content, great stuff. Yeah. So I don't want to give too much away.

That's right.

But check it out. All right. All right. Let's start out today's conversation by talking about some alternative forms of physical intimacy and maybe specifically kind of every aspect of physical touch that can create intimacy, sensuality, closeness, and even pleasure before or maybe even apart from sexual acts. So, you know, we're not talking about intercourse here. We're not necessarily talking about, you know, oral sex or specifically touching or trying to stimulate each other's erogenous zones. But any other. You look like you're gonna. You're smirking.

It's the way he said erogenous. It was great.

Well, how do you. I mean, I don't know how to say erogenous without it feeling a little erogenous.

It feels onomatopoeia. It's got like the right.

It paints a picture.

It paints a picture. It does. All right, so beyond the erogenous zones guys like you can do, definitely touch the erogenous zones.

I don't want to neglect those areas. Touching all those. But I'm just saying.

Well, not for this episode. We're talking about non erogenous zones.

We might even get to them this episode. But I'm saying we're going to build up to the erogenous zones. You don't want to just start grabbing the zones. No, you want to. You want to build up. I'm just going to shut up for a while.

This is true. So, okay. Alternative forms of physical intimacy that is beyond actual sexual acts. I think my favorite one is massage of any kind. Like, I mean, back massage, foot massage, hand massage, all the massages.

She loves massage. When I found out her number one love language was physical touch, I was so excited until I realized it did not mean what I wanted it to mean. It did not mean.

I mean, that's great, but I really like.

It did not mean, like, she is gonna want sex all the time. No, she wants rubbing all the time. She has a rub language.

I do. I love it.

Every night she gets on her side and then we go through the same.

Little song and dance.

Charade.

And I'll say, what do I say to you? Do you mind rubbing me a little bit in the.

Only if you want to. Only if you want to. And she doesn't care if I want to. I do care, but I love to serve. I love to serve her. And I love. It's pleasurable for me to just snuggle up next to her and be able to give and receive physical touch just from giving her a massage. Even though it's not sexual, it's very nice. It's intimate.

Well, it relaxes me. So there's times it does lead to other things. But you've been so gracious to do it regardless of that. It's like, hey, if that happens, awesome. But you're very sweet because, you know, it relaxes me. Sometimes I'll even fall asleep. I mean, it's very, very relaxing. And it does make me feel close to you. It does bring intimacy. And then something I do for you is I don't necessarily love cuddling, like, when Dave's on top of me because he's so strong and made of pure muscle that I just feel like I can't move.

Too kind.

But I will give you. Remember, you guys, if you've ever watched the Naked Marriage podcast or listened, we talk about the leg of love in our house. Lol Isn't laugh out loud. It's leg of love. Even our kids know about it. It sounds wrong. It's not. Okay, so it's literally Dave's leg on top of me. Well, I switched it, and I was like, listen, the leg of love is heavy and binding, and I. It's a beautiful leg. I told. Can I talk about my dream? My dream charm.

Yeah, she. She wanted me to.

I legit wanted this. No. To commission someone.

To commission someone to do a little gold.

Charm.

Charm of my leg. Flexing leg. Like a golden, hairy leg.

I want it so bad.

She would wear it.

I would wear it. You'd have jewelry about your amazing legs.

If you made jewelry and you'd be interested.

It sounds so weird.

I will send you a weird picture of my leg.

No, no, no. We have to, like. No, no. That's weird. That would be, like, fetish stuff for people. No, we will not do this digitally. It will be, like, in our town.

It's less weird for me to, like, show my leg in, like, a private room. No, I'm saying that's less weird.

While they form it out of gold. Oh, my gosh.

Or, like, put it down.

This is way off. This is way off. I just want people to know I don't love the leg of love on top of bleh. I don't love the leg of love on top of me, but I want it around my neck.

Okay.

I love your legs anyway.

They're amazing legs. I'm glad that you like my legs, but she does not like the weight of them. She likes the.

I can. Yes. So what I will do, Let me get back on track here. I will go put my leg on top of you and give you the cuddles, because you love cuddles and you feel so close, like it's physical intimacy that you love. And I can tell it literally, like, you love this, and I'll just, like, hold you. And you love it.

I do. I love it.

You don't feel bound via the leg of love? My leg of love.

I like when you, you know, you put your leg of love on me and then you like.

Like a.

Like a cricket, you move it like a grasshopper.

Yeah.

Where you move your leg up and down on my leg and it's like, oh.

Oh, man.

It's just sweet. It's not sexual. It's just.

No, but it's like you feel physical closeness, right? Exactly. You guys are gonna just think we're weird, so we're just gonna go down this rabbit hole. But that is something where maybe, you know, maybe you know, your spouse is a cuddler, and maybe you're not, but try to speak that cuddle language, you know, where you don't feel bound, but you can, you know, speak that cuddle language. And so that's what I try to fill your cuddle tank. Because I know that means something to you. And in the same way, Dave is very ticklish. So you really don't enjoy a massage.

I do not.

And so. But you give me a massage.

I don't enjoy a massage because I'm ticklish.

Extremely ticklish in some areas.

You know, if, like, I've gotten massages with you, I've done, like, couples massage.

Like, on a cruise, and it can.

Be relaxing, but it's also weird for me to have, like, a. First, I don't want a dude rubbing on me, because that doesn't feel right. And secondly, I don't want to enjoy another woman rubbing on me, which I.

Will say there's nothing inherently wrong with getting a massage for anyone. I don't want to, you know, but I think for you personally, you're like.

Well, and now there's been all these kind of seedy, salacious stories of men in massage places, you know, that are getting kind of inappropriate. Yeah, inappropriate. Off the. Off the menu kind of services at the massage places. And it's just. I don't know, like, it. It just kind of weirds me out at this point. It's not that it feels bad. It's just. It just feels a little bit wrong.

And at home, because it is intimate. I mean, yeah, it's.

It feels. It's intimate. I'm not knocking people who get. Get massages.

No, no. And some people really need it as part of their healing. I mean, absolutely. You know, it's not my thing.

Like, we're gonna focus on physical touch. Like, I would just.

But I will. I mean, I think I've rubbed your shoulders before. I would. Gosh, if you needed a massage, I would do the best I could. But I just know that you get kind of ticklish sometimes. Well, in part.

You have the most lovely, soft hands, and you, in every sense of the word, are strong. But your hands are not strong.

They're not. They are not. And so I've, like, never had strong hands.

And so, like, if something's gonna happen in my back, like, I need some force there.

See? Honestly, a dude would actually give you a really good massage.

I'll tell. Only massages I enjoy are. I sit in these massage chairs, the shiatsu massage sometimes, and I'll, you know, I'll put five bucks in and just lean back, and it'll, like, just go to town, like, on my back and legs and stuff. And I'm like, this is all right. And I don't feel weird.

And it's not ticklish at all.

I don't feel ticklish. And so.

Yeah, but that's not gonna go towards marital physical intimacy.

No. This is my ADD kicking in. You have to find out what your spouse likes. You have to figure out, what do they like? And how do I help them get more of what they like? What kind of touch makes them feel close to me?

Exactly.

What kind of touch makes them feel served by me? And I want to give that. You have to give what they like, not necessarily what you know, Because I give a massage even though I don't really like a massage. It's not for reciprocity. She likes it, and I like to serve her in that way.

And I love it. You're very good at it. You're very strong. It gets right in there. I think you have. You've been doing it so long. You have, like, technique now. He'll use the elbow like a professional and just get right in there. It's great. So I appreciate it, sweetie. I think some other, you know, non sexual forms of, of intimacy, physical intimacy in particular, would be things like kissing. I mean, kissing doesn't necessarily have to lead to sex, but I think a lot of times the longer people are married, they'll find that they don't even kiss, like even kiss goodbye or even just have a passionate kiss, you know, here and there. But that means a lot, you know, to people who especially view that. And it does bring you closer together and like holding hands, you know, I remember I was talking to a friend of mine not too long ago and she was like, you know, my husband, it like creeps him out to hold hands, but it makes me feel so loved when he holds my hand. And she said, and I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's like that his parents didn't hold hands or if he gets sweaty and he just doesn't like the sensation. I mean, there's maybe a lot of reasons, but she said, I just wish he would do it more just for me. And so I would just, you know, after you listen to this podcast, just talk about that. Like say, you know, are there any forms of non sexual touch that would bring physical intimacy to you that I'm not doing? And don't be offended if there's something that they give, like an answer they give you back. And then be willing to think about like, how can I meet that need? How can I go out of my way to serve my spouse in that way? And I'm telling you, these things really, really build that love tank where it makes you feel closer. Especially when it comes to women. Like, if we don't feel close to you outside of the bedroom, then it's really hard for us to feel close to you inside the bedroom. Right. And even in the midst of sex. Cause you can just go through the motions and not feel intimate. And you know, doing this non sexual physical intimacy will really go a long way to bring that closeness that you're so longing for. And I believe it enhances the sexual experience and connection.

Absolutely. And so let's, let's kind of like transition into that.

Okay.

Like spicing things up. So how do we.

We're talking sexual now.

I like the way you kind of. You change. You change. You crossed your.

We are talking erogenous.

Erogenous.

We're going to say that like 10 times this episode.

Some people think nature is like this, but actually it's like this. That's why Columbia engineers. Everything we make for anything nature can throw at you. Columbia engineered for whatever this episode is.

Brought to you by Oops. I've got a box of Cheez it crackers staring at me and I just wanted that irresistible cheesy crunch. Sorry, that was a total snackcident. Mmm. What was I supposed to be talking about? So salty.

So crunchy. So cheesy. Whoops.

Lost my train of thought. I've heard of brain freeze, but brain cheese?

Mm.

I'll just have one more cheesy cracker and then I'll get back to it.

We can talk erogenous. How do you spice things up? So I think more of the non sexual physical affection will actually lead eventually to more sexual physical affection. Especially for women. Women. Most women have a strong desire for non sexual physical touch and affection. They want their husband guys, they want you to take their hand, like we just talked about, to put your arm around her shoulder, to give her gentle, tender caresses, to hug her, to just touch her in ways that she's feeling your tenderness but isn't feeling like you're just trying to rush her straight to the bedroom every time you touch her. She wants like the hugs. Yeah. That non sexual affection. And the more that you give for most women, the more it will open them up to want to express physical intimacy as well. Sex specifically.

Exactly. And so let's talk about it, spicing things up, tips and techniques to enhance it. I think one of the biggest tips that I would give is just taking time to have foreplay. I think, you know, as busy working parents as people who have all this stuff on the calendar, I think a lot of times, you know, sex can become something that we just are kind of rushing to get to the orgasm. And there needs to be more time taken to really enjoy each other's bodies, to, you know, allow each other maybe to have an even better orgasm and a better connection because you're just taking that time to really enjoy the process. And I think a lot of times it's like, you know, again, like there's, there's room for quickies. Like if you need to have a quickie, a quick sexual experience where you're just kind of having a release together, that's fine, there's a place for that. But it doesn't need to be the go to because then you're missing out on the greater connection that you can have with taking your time.

Yeah.

And so, sweetie, what does it look like? Like foreplay. Give some tips and techniques on foreplay.

I'm honored you would ask. I think that you have to take. Like you said, take your time. And again, for men especially, this is the most important part because we do tend to want to rush. It's like, all right, let's skip through this and let's get to the real stuff. But you have to see foreplay as real stuff. Like, this is real. And helping us connect on every level, physically, emotionally, all the way around. It's going to enhance the overall experience for you both, and it's going to make it much more likely for your wife to be able to reach orgasm herself, which should be a priority for you. And it lets you kind of just savor the whole experience a lot longer. And you're missing out. You're both missing out if you're always rushing through this aspect of it.

All right, so tips and techniques. So how do you do that?

Right.

Yeah, I wanted to beat you to it, so you go first.

All right, tips and techniques. I would say that you spend time kissing and kissing everywhere, everywhere that your spouse enjoys being kissed because the lips are very soft and tender and full of nerve endings. And so both for the kisser and the receiver of those kisses, it can be just a nice, nice pleasurable experience for you both. I would say focus on the areas that your spouse finds most pleasurable, to be given attention, you know, whatever that is. And it's different. It's different for different people. There are a lot of women that just from those who write us, and we hear different stories that really appreciate and enjoy nipple stimulation, being kissed and touched there. And a lot of men who clearly love giving attention to those areas. And there are other women who don't. Just don't enjoy that. It's like, that's not really their thing. The neck is an erogenous zone for both men and women to be kissed and caressed on the neck and the earlobes, really everything from the neck up, your face, your head, it's all. It's got a lot of nerve endings, and it's. It's. It's a place to kiss and to just enjoy and just to rub each other. Massage, caress. Let laughter be part of foreplay. I think laughter is a really intimate act. Not laughing at each other.

Oh, no, ever.

But laughing in the playfulness of the mood, of just laughing out of excitement, laughing out of anticipation. I think the way that you talk to each other is an act of foreplay. I think the way that you whisper, the way that you tease and flirt and just express your excitement, your attraction, your desire. I think all of that is part of it. And then all of that done at the appropriate pace, it builds anticipation, it builds arousal, and it makes that first connecting point sexually. You know, when there's first penetration. Like, it enhances that experience exponentially.

Right.

And then from that first experience, throughout the course of lovemaking, it's heightened enhancement all the way through to orgasm for both. Both the husband and the wife. When proper time is taken during foreplay.

Exactly. And we have a lot of episodes where we talk about people who are like, well, I'd love to take time, but I struggle with maybe one of us going before the other when it comes to orgasm. And we've talked about that through a lot of different episodes. You can go back and listen to those, but I would still encourage you, still take the time, find ways that you can both enjoy this more and not rush the process, because you will find that sometimes it alleviates some of the problems. You know, we hear from a lot of women that say they've never had an orgasm, but then we'll ask them, well, like, how long do you guys spend on foreplay? You know, do you. Is there any foreplay? You know, is it kind of just quick? You know? And a lot of times they're like, I don't even know what you mean. And they don't even realize, you know, because, I mean, they're just in this process of this is what they do. And it's like, well, sometimes with a woman just hasn't had enough foreplay to get her to the point of being able to experience an orgasm. And her husband, you know, may be getting frustrated with her because he's already gone, and then he's not, you know, it's hard for him to get back in that mode. Or maybe he's trying to hold off and he's not able to, and it becomes a frustrating process. So really talk to each other and just talk about, like, where you like to be touched. I mean, you need to be able to talk about that and don't do it, like, in the moment, necessarily, when you can, if you're doing it in a nice way. But I would encourage y' all to talk about it before you get to that moment. Like, you know, is there anything that we've done before that's off putting to you or something that I haven't done or, you know, something that you think you would enjoy that we, you know, haven't done that you'd like to do? So talk about it.

Yeah, talking about it is sexy in itself. So that's really good. All right, so kind of continuing this on, exploring sensuality. You have to learn your spouse's body and you have to help them learn your body. And that happens through communication. You can't expect them to know what feels good to you. You can't expect them to know what feels uncomfortable to you.

Right. And it may change.

Yeah. And it can change over time. You can't assume that it's always going to be the same. Bodies are changing, hormones are changing. I mean, you have to, you have to keep checking in. Like, hey, does this, is this feel good? Is this the right place to give attention? Is this the right amount of pressure or whatever? You know, like, what do you like, what's uncomfortable? Let them know. You can let them know specifically that feels really good. You can just say it. Or you can be like, ah, that's not the spot. Or that doesn't feel good. Or sometimes, you know, just your sounds and your body movement and your, your non verbals can let them know clearly that's really nice. Or that's not as nice.

Like that's not feeling good. Now I will say this too. Sometimes it's not that sex itself doesn't, you know, doesn't feel good in general. It might be that that position doesn't feel good. It might be that as you age you need some help and like you need to be on a chair instead of in a bed or you need to have more support, you know, for your knees or something. Like, I mean, there's just all kinds of things that can change. Like in talking to couples that are, you know, older than us and have had more changes than we've had, you know, we're in our like early to mid-40s. And I can tell, I mean, there are differences as you, I mean, we're still, I consider us still on the younger side of things, but we are in our midlife. And so, you know, there's some women that even in their 40s start having like menopausal symptoms. And there's like dryness and so there's different lubrications that can help with that. There's different hormones you can take that will help with natural lubrication. Sometimes people like start getting hip and knee problems. And it's like the one position you did before that you liked, it doesn't, it's too distracting because you're in pain. Well then try a new position. Try something. Don't shame each other for that. But it might be exciting. Like you might even find out that you really enjoy Trying this other position you never tried before and just have fun with it. And I mean, again, you have to have a sense of humor about the changes that a lot of us go through, all of us at some point go through. And so I would just encourage you not to, to give up and be like, well, I would like to have, you know, things spiced up. But I guess it's not for us. That's just not true. I mean, you can bring in things such as, like, pretty lingerie can make it spicy. Wear it all day. Get yourself excited. Like, wear something. Maybe there's something. Like on the days you know you're going to have sex, that's when you wear your sexy lingerie. That's when you play that one song that is super sexy to you and it gets you in that mode. It gets you really excited about sex. Because a lot of times, you know, man, our biggest, kind of our most influential part of our body when it comes to sex is our mind. It's really where our mind is. Cause like, you could be, you know, excited for sex and then all of a sudden you start having insecurities and it shuts down that libido. Or you could be, you know, excited about sex and all of a sudden you just have a bad day and you're like, there's too much on my plate. I can't get around it. So that's why we always say put it on the calendar so that you can start thinking about what you would like to do with tonight, with your time together and you know, how excited you are. Maybe, you know, send a flirtatious text through the day and say like, hey, I'm really excited about tonight. Like you're just ramping up, you know, outside of the bedroom until you get in the bedroom. So it's like an all day event.

Yeah, make it a foreplay should be an all day event. And every, every touch throughout the day is part of that.

And being tender is so important. You know, I don't think men realize especially how fragile our psyche for women can become. Our sec. I'll say it this way. Our sexual mindset is when our husband comes off abrasive in any way. And it could be, it could have nothing to do with us. But if our husband comes home and is just in a terrible mood or is short with us or short with the kids or just doesn't seem to, he could say nothing and just be kind of in a funk. And it really is a libido killer for a woman. We really need our husbands to be just kind and tender. And I'm not saying like, I mean everybody gets in a bad mood. Like we all, everybody, women too. But I think for, you know, there's studies that show this for men, when they're in a bad mood, they don't care if they're woman, she could be in a bad mood too. But like sex is a stress reliever. But for women, if they feel stressed or like things aren't okay with their husband, generally speaking, they just, they feel a distance and they don't feel like making love, they're like, no. Until we get this right, God wired.

Us up to be different.

Yeah. So pay attention to that.

Tenderness is the word. Tenderness is key in your touch, in your words, in your tone.

For both parties.

For both parties. Be tender, be sweet. And it's going to lead to better experience overall for both of you.

Yes.

So we've got a lot of resources on this, a lot of resources related, related to sex. And I'm so thankful to be part of a ministry that prioritizes this, you know, over and over. We have folks write us on our Instagram page, we're Ave and ashleywillis on Instagram or meet us at a live event or be here at the Exo studio in South Lake, Texas and have conversations. And this, this theme of talking openly about sex from a Christian perspective is something that we're thanked for maybe more than any other aspect of what, what we do. And I'm thankful to be a part of a ministry that champions that because so many, so many people grew up in homes where it wasn't. Sex wasn't talked about in a life giving way that was true to God's word that sex is a gift. But it's a gift that needs to be reserved for marriage. And it was. A lot of us grew up missing part of that equation. It's like sex is just is bad. You can do it when you're married, but it's dirty, it's bad, whatever. Or sex is, you do it whatever you want with it. You don't have to be married and to be able to open scripture, to be able to talk from real experiences and just say, hey, sex is a gift and you maybe have some brokenness in that area in your past or you maybe weren't taught the right lessons or maybe you have regrets. This ministry is a safe place and we try to format our podcast episodes, our marriage conferences and everything we do to speak about sex in a life giving God honoring biblical and practical way. Because God wants your sex life to thrive. And I would challenge you to talk about it with your spouse. I would challenge you to pray about it with your spouse. Definitely pray about your sex life. That's a mind blowing thought for some people, but God created sex. He wants it to thrive in your marriage. And so don't be afraid to pray about it. Explore the many resources we have here. If you have had any issue at any point in your life with kind of false messages related to sex, whether it's from counterfeits like pornography, or maybe mistakes that you regret from your past, or maybe even abuses that were inflicted upon you or just mindsets about sex that you were raised with. We have a book called the Counterfeit Climax that kind of tackles all those counterfeit messages about sex and, and has conversations guides in it to help husbands and wives reclaim their sexuality, God's way. And I'm really proud of that resource and I think that it could be a helpful resource to you. So before we wrap up today, I just want to encourage you to check that out. And if you and your spouse are struggling, a resource that we mention nearly every episode is our marriage mediators. They can help you work through it. Whether your issue is sexual or has nothing to do with sexual, they can help you and your spouse get on the same page. You can go to xomarriagehelp.com for more information on that.

That's right. Now, we've come to the point in today's episode where we'll talk about what we promised out front. And that is how do we get our spouse to be interested in having sex when they really generally are not? Okay, so in our episode with Shaunti Feldheim and Michael Sytsma, we talked about the research they've done on sexual desire in couples. And they found some crazy things that we would never have accepted.

That's a great episode.

It was such a big episode.

I'll put a link to that in the show notes.

Yes, they found that only 10% of couples have what's called initiating desire, meaning that 90% of married couples need to start having sex in order for both of them to be completely into it. We'll link the full episode down in the description, but I'm telling you, this was really enlightening to us because I can relate to that. I mean, I think there's times I've initiated, but I would say most of the time I'm so in my head with like my ongoing list and I've talked openly about that that I've realized we've been married 22 years, that I'm going to engage in this because I know it's important. And I always end up glad I did. But my mind's not always 100% there. And I don't mean, like, you don't need to force this on your spouse. I mean, you guys know us. Like, this should be something you both agree. Like, yes, we're going to make love. This is both good. I'm not saying this gives anyone license to coerce their spouse or manipulate their spouse, but to both of you, kind of openhearte with the intent to serve one another sexually, go into this, even if you're not 100%, like, turned on in the moment due to this research, it shows us that most couples aren't. And so, like, embrace in that, have that foreplay, engage in the sexual experience, and by the end of it, you both will be so glad that you did. Just give that a try.

Yeah, that's a game changer. The question should no longer be, am I in the mood?

Right.

It's am I willing to get in the mood?

Right. Am I willing to share in this with you?

Am I willing to share in this moment with you?

Because it's more about that servant knowing.

That I will get in the mood along the way.

Exactly.

And if you'll take that second approach, both spouses will take that second approach. Your sex life and then your marriage, they're just going to go to a new level. I firmly believe that.

Again, that's why we say put regular sex. Okay, What I mean by that is regular meaning like it's happening on a regular basis. Like, find out what is that number? That is your baseline amount of how many times you're having sex each week. Right. And then you have it scheduled on your. On your calendar. But then if you have a spontaneous experience. Awesome. Then you're adding to it. But that's why we say put it on the calendar. Because, you know, a lot of. A lot of this is based on, you know, just working with couples for so many years. But also this research, you know, they're showing that's why this is important to get yourself ready and to just prioritize your sex life, that you really can prioritize it and end up enjoying it more than you ever thought you would. You know, in the process, even if your mind is kind of inundated with your to do list, you can still. You can still have an amazing experience.

So good. So good. Hey, guys, thank you for joining us. We'll see you right here next Monday. And don't forget to join us in may for the 30 day I will devotional on XO now. It's going to be a great way for you to grow a lot in your marriage just in a one month period of time. Click in the link and get the description for free access. Don't forget to share this episode. It'll help someone discover these important conversations. Thank you for being part of the Naked Nation and listening to the Naked Marriage Podcast. We'll see you next time.

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