How To Overcome The Struggles Of Being An Empath Q & A | Ashok LIVE | Ashok Gupta |

Okay, so welcome back. We've just been through our webinar on the struggles of an empath and how to become an empowered empath. So this second Facebook Live is now a Q and A for you to ask more questions or personal experiences that you've been through or just sharing in general about what you thought of the content that we covered just in that session there. Good. So under this Facebook Live now in the comments section, if you'd like to write down any questions that you have or any experiences. So any aha. Moments that you felt during that particular Facebook Live, so you can ask that in the comments section. And first of all, let's just say hello to some people. So if you'd like to tell me where you're tuning in from always nice to kind of. So Pascaline saying hello again. Yes. Hi, Pascaline, great to see you again. And of course, the original Q and A, sorry, the original Facebook Live that we went through, I'd love for you to share that on your own Facebook pages or another groups that you think could benefit from that. So the main live event that we did love for you to share that around. I'm sure there's lots of people out there who could benefit from understanding more about being an empath. Jerrianne, saying you presented an excellent set of tools for these difficult situations. Thank you. So hi there. Jerrianne from New York State. Great to see you again. Antonina, hello from Chicago. Hello to you. Great to see you. And so I'd love for you to share, if you're an empath, either some questions that you have for me or perhaps some experiences that you've been through as an empath that have been able to support how you've supported other people around you, but also how you've managed to transform from a disempowered empath to an empowered empathy. What have you been able to do to make sure that you stay in the light and you don't get drained by other negative people? Felicity, asking question, A great question here. I'm not clear on the basic difference between being a compulsive enmeshed helper and exercising conscious compassion. Okay. A compulsive enmeshed helper, as you've described it, is someone who feels that their self esteem relies on healing the other person and fixing their pain so they are attached to an outcome. So Anita, as the helper, as the disempowered empath, feels that she needs to get lost in the other person's problems. So deeply enmeshed with that person. That they can feel it so that they can help that person and they can heal them. There's a almost survival strategy in the helper that they have to fix it. It becomes almost, as you say, a compulsive feeling to rescue them from their pain. Rather than acknowledging and accepting that everyone needs to go through certain pain in their lives, it is part of life. A conscious someone who's experiencing or expressing conscious compassion instead accepts that this person is going through their pain, does not need to fully take on that pain, stays in their light and doesn't try to advise or help or fix. Instead holds a place of compassionate witnessing awareness. Let me be your witness, let me be your presence. Let me be your light. You express what you need to express and I'm not going to allow it to affect me or pull me down. I will just be a space. And sometimes just being that healing conscious compassion and that presence allows their pain to begin to heal because it builds their awareness. It doesn't allow you to enable them. Okay, so that's the main difference between being lost as a helper where your self esteem relies on fixing them, to being consciously compassionate. There's nothing about your self esteem involved in this. Simply, I choose to be a healing space for this person. Okay. Catherine, hello to you from Scotland. Frances from Tilburg in the Netherlands, hello to you, Diana from Canada. Okay, so we're just looking at more of your questions or anything else that you'd like to share. You can just tell me where you're tuning in from. So Deborah, hello to you from Colorado Springs. And once again we'd love for you to share the original video. So if it's in your Facebook timeline or wherever it may be, love for you to share that. Gareth asking a question. Hello to you, Gareth from Wales. The biggest challenge I found as an empath is how to live and work in environments that are quite negative without being consumed by them. Right. So in a similar way, sometimes we are in work environments or could be environments with a group of people are working together, which can be quite negative or toxic, toxic work environments. In those situations, if we're becoming dragged down by those negative colleagues, then unfortunately we're taking on that negative pain and negativity. However, if we stay our boundaries and in our self care, that means meditating regularly, that means being the light in that situation so we can have a positive impact on that environment by remaining positive and centered. And rather than buying into the negativity, in that environment, we become the light and sometimes we don't have to do anything Just being that positive, centered, cheerful person has a knock on vibrational impact on the people around us. So keeping our energy high, keeping ourselves positive is a big part of this. Okay, so let's not feel that we automatically are dragged down by negative work environments. We keep our center, we don't allow ourselves to go down to that vibrational level. And everything we've talked about accepts what people are going through. Accept the environment, become aware of why it affects you. Is it affecting you because you just need some more self care? Or is it affecting you because you're trying to fix the situation or taking responsibility for it unnecessarily? B is for those boundaries in self care. C is for that compassion, allowing yourself to feel that compassion for negative people around you, even though they might be trying to bring you down or blame you, don't buy into that dynamic. When you rise above the dynamic and just feel that conscious compassion, then you don't go down to their vibrational level. And then D is for discernment. Are there ways of shifting and changing the energy in that environment? Okay. Blek from Ostend in Belgium, welcome to you. Jerry M says, I find myself often becoming the offloading station and I've learned to apply a protective shield, but it usually doesn't last for long. I think my own judgment of realizing they are not ready to discuss but just want to unload interferes with keeping things positive. Well, in that moment you make a decision. So although I'm saying if you feel they're not ready to actually listen to anything you've got to say, then if it becomes an offloading exercise, you don't deserve that offloading exercise. So you don't allow them to offload it onto you. You bring up that protective shield, take a deep breath in, feel that light engulfing you. Stay in your center, stay in your power. Imagine their negative comments bouncing off you. And if you need to go and take a break, go to the bathroom, stay in your centre just to maintain that, please do that. And many coaches and therapists are taught that between patients or between clients, it's very important for them to re energize and reconnect. So regular meditation, regular periods of silence allows you to re energize and put back up your protective shield. Yes, we're talking about that conscious witness or that witnessing away an awareness or enlightened witness. All of these mean the same thing. It means we maintain our stillness and presence and awareness and we observe what they're going through without getting lost in the story. John, asking, what resources do you recommend for people who've become cynical about the state of the world? How do you cultivate a positive worldview? Right. We can't shift this necessarily for people around us. We can certainly guide them in the right direction. As we mentioned, negative people who feel a victim of the world or who are actually very sensitive and pull up this hard shell around themselves to protect themselves, cynics basically lose hope, lose their belief in humanity because in that way they set themselves such low expectations, they don't become disappointed. So actually becoming a cynic is simply a protection mechanism to protect from disappointment. Oh, good things don't happen to me. People are terrible, People are negative. There's no one to trust. There's a lack of trust and faith in humanity. And when people get to that state, what is actually required is a journey of self discovery. I had a little heart there. Please do press one of the smileys or the emoticons to show us that you're liking and loving what we're talking about or whatever. So please do give us some reactions. Always nice to see those popping across the screen. And please do once again share the original Facebook Live that we did on your own Facebook page or those of other forums, especially Lightworker forums, or where people have had health conditions, because a lot of health conditions can be traced back to being this empath who's taking on the negative vibrations of other people. So how can we help others cultivate that worldview? This is their own journey. First of all, being aware of their own pain, realizing that they're complaining or blaming or whatever is hiding a deeper pain or emotion that they haven't resolved. And it does require counseling or therapy or coaching to become aware of that so that you're not lost in that because it's very unconscious. And there can be books that perhaps you can suggest to people or courses that can break someone of that negativity. But as a starting point, certainly regular meditation can support others to get out of that cynical worldview, out of that protection. Yes. And Deena also supporting that by saying, perhaps a basic counseling course with regular meditations can support others. Yeah, absolutely. And empaths make fantastic counselors, therapists, coaches, because they already have that fine tuned, intuitive ability to tune into what people are experiencing and what they need in that moment. More importantly, Astrid saying, I feel like I'm letting someone down when I'm not helping them by giving them advice or really help them because they don't see it anymore. Okay. In that moment, you can be the judge of whether they are looking for advice. There's no point giving advice to someone who just wants to vent or feel the victim. When you give them advice, you harden their shell. You make them think, yes, but. So you'll say something or say, yes, but. And a more powerful way is to ask them questions where they get to advise themselves. Where we say, what could you do about this now? How could you feel better about this situation? How could you react differently? What's really bothering you? What do you need to change? And that suddenly shocks them because they think she got a shocked look on her face that suddenly makes her think, why is someone not buying into what I'm saying? Okay, yeah, actually, they've made me think about it in a different way. That's a shifting perspective. Rachel saying, I find it very challenging to take the subway at busy times without it draining me. I do my best to ground myself. There are so many people affecting my energy, Rachel. I totally empathize. So first of all, the grounding occurs. So before you're taking the subway, you ground yourself. Actually walking barefoot in nature, walking barefoot on ground or grass, is very good at grounding. Bringing up that energy field around you and meditating, meditating regularly. When you go into those environments, it is the busyness, the stimulation, the negative energies that you're picking up on people around you who've all been stressed out from their workday. Could you meditate on the tube or on the subway itself? Could you just close your eyes and be in your space and build that connection to source? Could you make sure there are other things that you're doing in your life to maintain that sense of centeredness? What is draining your energy? What is the energy leakage? If we're meditating morning and evening, eating well and sleeping well, if there's an energy leakage, it's actually for us to now become aware that there is some beliefs or some patterns, some emotions that we need to recognize within ourselves which are still draining us. Because what happens is when we are in those environments, that negative environment starts resonating with a negativity within us that we may be blind to. So sometimes it's to wake us up to what is unresolved within ourselves. LC Collins, asking, what are get out lines to leave those situations? Well, I'll leave that to your creativity. In those situations, can you make an excuse if you're at a dinner party or someone negative is with you? You know, I need to visit the bathroom, or actually, I've got something to do. I've got somewhere else to be. So I need to leave right now, whatever it might be, that get out line to get you out of that situation. Often we don't allow ourselves to because we feel bad. Sometimes empaths can experience shame and guilt and that's what keeps them in situations where they allow energy vampires to suck their energy. There can be some underlying shame and guilt where they feel they are expected to heal the other person. So find the get outlines that work for you. I need to visit the bathroom. I've got somewhere else to be. I've got something else to do. It was great to meet you, but, you know, love to chat. Some other time, but now I need to go. And secondly, what is a good way to deal with the negative emotions generated by looking at social media? Stop spending so much time on social media. You know, for empaths, certainly not only empaths, but people who have insecurities, which is separate to empaths. The longer we spend looking at posts on social media in our timeline, the more negative it makes us feel. And this has been shown in several studies. Now, there can be two reasons for this. Are we going to social media to compare ourselves to others? Are we looking at other people's photos and other people's holidays and other people's amazing, incredible lives? Comparing that to our own lives and then feeling down that is not good for anyone. Or are we going onto social media to connect and uplift and expand? If we go to social media and in our timelines we're clicking on the stories which are of interest, are we joining campaigns to support the healing of the planet? Are we learning more about ourselves and other people? That's an uplifting, expansive experience on social media. Or are we using social media as a play of the ego? Because social media can be a playground for the ego. Are we just using it to compare ourselves to other people's lives? So it's all about. It's not social media that's issue, it's the way we use it. Just like a knife. A knife can be used for all kinds of horrible things and negative things or it can be used to produce a beautiful dinner. The knife itself is not the issue, it's how it's used. And sometimes if we feel very negative and very toxic from environments we've been in, having a salt bath can be very powerful. So there's having a salt bath. So just putting some salt into a bath and bathing yourself. Epsom salts or just you're feeling the negative vibrations of an experience. Many therapists know this. You can have a Shower and just rub salt over your body, which allows some of that negative energy to be removed from your system. Yes, and sometimes. So looking at Henny's message. Thank you. She's saying thank you for the lovely exercise. I feel affected by other people's feelings and I want to help, but sometimes sense that just truly being listened to kindly is what someone needs in that moment. Not fixing, just giving them your attention, time and compassion and you not being afraid of their pain, just being with them. However, I think I need to create stronger boundaries to avoid being drained. It's difficult to get that clarity. I think you will know when you are in that space. You feel still, you feel calm, you feel you are in your own power as an empowered empath. And then someone is being negative once again, you accept them for being negative. You stay in your light and you realize that that's their pain. It's separate to you. And you can still empathize but not be dragged down. You can be there for them and then d for discernment. Discern at that moment using your intuitive ability. What does this person. What is that? What could help them right now? Is it just to remain silent? Is it to ask those leading questions? Is it just to empathize that you understand what they're going through? And if you're in your light, that intuition will give you the answer. Vivian sharing her experiences of close family. And as much as I put the lights protective shield around me, I still take over their energy and they take over mine. It's hard to change. It's a hopeless source of energy. Right, Vivian? I would say keep going. You know, in those situations, as we become stronger, instead of us being pulled down, we can pull them up. So practice more of these tools. A for awareness. What is it about me and other people around me that makes me get dragged down? Am I trying to fix them? Am I lost in their tragedies? Am I taking responsibility for what they're going through? What's the underlying belief? And if you ask yourself closely enough, there will be an underlying belief which is making you take on their energy. So recognize that and observe it and go deeper into it. And then secondly, practice the tools of boundaries and self care. Longer and deeper meditations, perhaps looking to spend less time around them or doing activities with them that are uplifting and positive when you spend time with them. And compassionate conscious compassion, spending time around them in that state of conscious compassion and and asking them what their challenges are. So keep going. Never give up hope it can improve. I like the Patronus Says Judith. I'm going to try that. Janelle Sharing I found the most difficulty as an empath in my family, in particular, trying to help my children healing from grief. After we lose close family members, I want to help them process their feelings. However, my tolerance for their intense pain gets completely overwhelmed. Then my protector feels a failure in my role as a mother. Much appreciation for the reminder to meditate in these situations. Notice that there is an attachment to an outcome. You really want to help your children heal from the grief, and I understand that. But you can't force that process. You can do your best, leave the rest. And if that child is going through grief as a result of losing a family member, you can support them processing it, but not force it, not be attached to the outcome, not feel that you've now failed them as a mother. That isn't going to help the situation. Instead, what outside support can you get? Are there people that you can go for counselling or that the children could go to for counselling? Because sometimes it's nice to have someone outside of the situation that they're able to express their emotions towards. What other support and help can you get? But please don't feel a failure as a mother, because that is where the empath has become attached to an outcome. Instead, we support and listen and allow that child to go through whatever they need to go through. And that experience, if you let go of the attachment to results, I think that you'll feel much better. Becky saying I have loads of shame and guilt where I must listen to people. Yes, sometimes people who've been through challenging childhoods or perhaps dysfunctional or abusive experiences, they can feel shame. Sorry, I'm not saying that's your situation. I'm just sharing. That's often what I see. We can feel this shame or guilt. Or perhaps we were told that to be a good little girl or a good little boy, we needed always to be helping people and being there for other people and listening to other people and not thinking about ourselves. Shame and guilt. If we don't do that, it's recognizing that shame and guilt and then surrendering that to love. So if you recognize it within you, feel it, release it to your representation of love. Feel it, release it to your representation of love. And that exercise, for those of you interested, is the New Groove Technique. And you can find that if you download the app. The Meaning of Life Experiment. It's in day 15. So day 15 of the meaning of Life Experiment goes through the New Groove Technique and it helps you understand how you can release Those emotions. Jerrianne says, yes, my aha moment comes from what you just said about a negativity deeper within ourselves. Perhaps I'm on the defensive because my victim part is still active. Perhaps I haven't retrained it completely yet. That was Jess the princess, the victim. Or perhaps I'm judging others from an egoic place. Right, Exactly. So when we sometimes get lost in other people's negativity and we can't help but take on their emotions, just recognize, is there a negativity in me that this situation is making me aware of that I can now work on? And then it becomes an empowering experience. Aditi asking, how can we motivate ourselves to continue meditating? Why does anything motivate you to keep going? Because it makes you feel good. So initially when you start meditating, it's an effort, like when you first were a child and you started brushing your teeth, can't be bothered. But then you started realizing it's something positive, it's something powerful. And just as it is with meditation. Commit to three or four weeks of meditation. Do the Meaning of Life program through the app. There's 30 meditations, 30 days, 30 minutes. And then when you feel good, you want to continue it and make it a natural part of your life. And just sometimes there's that trust. Knowing that from a scientific perspective, we know that regular meditation can improve your mood, improve your physical well being, and reduce the amount of times you see a doctor. That has been clinically proven. It's got so many mental, physical and emotional benefits. Reduce the risk of heart stroke, heart disease, strokes, cancer, all kinds of illnesses are reduced with regular meditation. It's a universal pill, a universal tonic for the ills of mental and physical well being. So just recognize that, commit to it, and it's the most powerful thing you can do each day. So I hope you continue. How do we distinguish between a negative person and an abuser? Do we respond to the latter any differently to the former? Right. A very good question. So in these situations, if we're with a negative person, so I'll just bring my friends back again, they're dying to get back on screen. There we go. If we are simply with a negative person, that negative person is venting, complaining, blaming, etc. And looking for you to give them a sticking plaster to temporarily make them feel better. If this person is. And so that's where we hold the lights for C, for conscious compassion. But if we are actually being abused by somebody else, there's a difference. The difference is a negative person isn't necessarily trying to bring down our self esteem. An abuser. One of the core strategies of abuser is to lower the other person's self esteem so that they can be controlled. One of the core goals of abuse is control and the way we control people is putting them down, bringing down their self esteem so they no longer can hold their light and their strength and then they can be controlled. So that's the difference. If somebody around you is consistently putting you down, bringing your self esteem down and it makes you feel small, contracted, negative, depressed, anxious, then that slips over from just being negative to actually being abusive. Experience or environment where they're consistently trying to bring you down to control you in those situations, I would definitely seek out support and help and guidance from somebody who can support you in terms of dealing with that situation and removing yourself from it. Michael saying thank you for your profound work and making the comment that other people's energy can trigger what is already present within us. The puppets are amazing. Thank you. Love this. Well, I'm glad you enjoy the puppets. Perhaps they will make an appearance in a future Facebook Live. So just to let you know, next Wednesday evening, Wednesday the 17th of July, we'll be holding a Facebook Live called It's Not Psychological. So talking about many different conditions such as me, cfs, fibromyalgia, chemical sensitivities, mold sensitivities, pots, and saying that these conditions are often seen as all in the minds and psychological, but they're not in the mind. And we go deeper into understanding what that phrase means, what psychosomatic means, and actually the scientific evidence behind how these conditions work in our body. So we're doing that next Wednesday evening. So please do tell your friends and family about that. For those people have the condition, please share it on various patient forums and we get more people feeling more confident to say this is not psychological. So once again, thank you for tuning in. I'd love for you to all share the original Facebook Live that we finished half an hour ago just to share that on social media channels, on your Facebook page. And also there's other groups, there's many people out there who benefit from this. So thank you so much for watching and I will see you hopefully next Wednesday. Thank you and goodbye.