Ashok Gupta distinguishes acceptance from surrender as tools for chronic illness recovery. He targets three emotions: grief, fear, and victimhood. Practices like the soften-and-flow exercise and brain retraining help shift from fighting illness to conserving energy and enabling action.
So what do we do now? We move from that grief, that anxiety, and that victimhood, and we move to acceptance. And many people say, acceptance, Ashok, are you crazy? I can't accept this condition. I need to get better. And this is a common misunderstanding because we think acceptance means saying it's right, it's okay. But acceptance is a deep inner surrender and letting go that I accept what has happened. It's here. In fact, Non acceptance is the harder path. Resistance to what is going on is the harder path. Let's take the road less traveled, which is to accept what is happening in our bodies right now. And we can't change anything in life unless we accept it first. You might challenge me and say, but, Ashok. It's when we feel annoyed by something and we resist something that brings up the best in humanity to campaign for good. Yes, but we can still do that from an acceptance, a place of inner acceptance, which then conserves our energy to take dynamic action. This is the key point. By accepting and surrendering, we no longer have a drain of energy. We uplift and feel more positive and we save ourselves. We save our minds to take that dynamic, amazing action which is retraining our brain for some people. Meditating, taking action, moving forward. And many of you may know that the soften and flow exercise that we have in the Gupta program is all about training your body to move to acceptance rather than resistance to what is so. And this is a crucial part of healing, because if you don't accept what your condition is right now, then you're stuck in the past. So each time you use any technique, whether it's the Gupta program or anything to heal from chronic illness, you are using those techniques. But in the back of your head, there's still that frustration and anger and annoyance which is just keeping you tight. And remember that as we move to acceptance, it doesn't mean that type of acceptance, which is, oh, I just let go. I give up. Acceptance and surrender is not giving up, it's giving in. It's a very different thing. Giving up is a dejected sense. Oh, I can't do anything about this. It's disempowering. Acceptance and surrender is empowering because it says, I have the strength and the courage to accept this moment right now. And that actually is the bravest thing you can do in life, is to truly be vulnerable to what is happening rather than hiding from it and ignoring it. So acceptance is a mind concept. It's where we tell our mind that we want to accept something. So acceptance is something that happens after the event has happened, surrender is going beyond the mind to the witness. So giving you the example, acceptance is when we become the witness and tell this part of us to accept and let go. But surrender is when we identify with beingness and say, actually, I choose now to live my life in a state of surrender and letting go. And surrender, once again has been misinterpreted as giving up and a negative connotation to it. But surrender is that sense of, I let go, I give in. I'm not going to fight anymore and resist and drain my energy. I choose to meet this moment with a sense of trust and faith that I'm on the right path. So what are some of the characteristics of surrender? Well, let's give the analogy of a boat, a ship in a storm. Now, when a ship is in the storm, if you're any of you involved in maritime, you can attest to this. When a ship is in the storm, it can feel like the captain should say, right, drop the anchor and let's stay put where we are. That's the worst thing you can do. You'll literally rip the ship apart with the anchor. Because the storm is coming, the waves are coming. In that moment, you need to ride the wave rather than staying stuck in your position and say, I resist the storm. No, you let go of the anchor and say, let the storm come. I am surrendered to it. Let it take me wherever it wants to go. Or the willow tree in the storm, the oak tree is stiff and gets knocked over, but the willow tree can bend with the time, the moment. So that's what we want to do, is allow ourselves to accept and surrender to what is so, because that is the easier path. And what are some of the characteristics of surrender? Let's look at those three aspects once again. Grief. In the grief cycle, surrender enables us to say, actually, I understand there's a deeper meaning behind this. I don't need to grieve the loss of those years because they were not a loss. They were for my evolution. So if you've had an illness for many years, please now completely shift your perspective and see, this is for my growth. I've evolved and changed. So that is how we help. How we move to surrender is through letting go of grief. We move to surrender by letting go of fear and anxiety about the future and say, I trust in something higher, a higher power, a representation of love, whatever that is to you. You may not have a religious or spiritual inclination, but we can all believe in the power of love. That is what we share as Human beings. So how can we move from anxiety to love, from fear to surrender? Let me trust and have faith in something, that I'm being taken care of. Whatever happens, I will find a way. I will handle it. Then we let go of those expectations and pressures. Come on, I've got to get well now. No, let go. Relax. Let your healing happen. When it's going to happen. Be in a state of surrender. And those who are surrendered decide ahead of time how they're going to respond to something. They say, let the storms come. There will be storms in my life, but I choose to live life in a surrendered state of gratitude. And that helps us also with a third aspect, the third emotion that victimhood. Instead of being annoyed at what's happened to us or feeling a victim of it, instead we move from victim to victor and say, I surrender and let go to what has happened. I accept. And now I'm empowered to take dynamic action. So in summary, it's about letting go of grief and sadness about your past, saying this was happened for a reason, it was inevitable, there was nothing I could do about it, and this is going to be good for me. And I look back on my life and when I suffer from ME and chronic fatigue syndrome. And at the time I can understand what was happening to me. But now in retrospect, it makes total sense. And I'm glad that it happened because it transformed me as a person. Secondly, letting go of anger and fear and anxiety and that tension and that resistance is through brain retraining and meditation. And all these things that help us move to acceptance and surrender. And finally, that victimhood we let go through parts work. And also realizing that we now are empowered to take responsibility rather than feeling a victim, not blaming ourselves, forgiving ourselves for what has happened and moving forward with that strength and determination. You are that strong spirit, that warrior who can face this and move forward with grace.
