Prayers for Ukraine, and Developing Emotional Resilience

Hello, and a warm welcome to our live event today with myself, Ashok Gupta. I'm the founder and CEO of iRise, our global platform to uplift humanity and empower a billion lives. And today we're going to be talking about this subject that I think is on a lot of people's minds around the Ukraine situation. And of course, what we'd like to do on behalf of the Gupta program, Meaning of Life, and obviously, irise, just send out our love, compassion for those in suffering right now, both in Ukraine, also in Russia, and all of those areas that are affected. You know, we've all been affected by the scenes that we've seen and the images that we've seen. And, you know, it really does open our hearts to say, how can we help? How can we support? How can we give back? And through all of this suffering, there have been many of our clients who've been asking us, you know, I'm finding it really triggering for me personally, and I was very cautious about doing this type of event because we've got real people suffering on the ground, and then we've also got millions of people around the world who are absorbing these pictures, absorbing these videos, and their mental health is being affected also. And I wanted to address that. Yeah. But at the same time, not be blind or ignorant to the suffering. That's a much deeper level, obviously, happening in Ukraine and other countries that are involved in conflict. Okay. But I wanted to address this issue because we've had so many people talk to us about it. So what we're going to be doing is in this section here, our live event, I'm going to be talking about some of the ways in which people's mental health is being affected by the conflict in Ukraine and what we can do as human beings to recognize how it's affecting us and what solutions we can put into practice. And then in our Q and A afterwards, that's when we will actually go into our meditation and prayers for Ukraine, sending out love and best wishes and positive energy to that region of the world, followed by a discussion on our Zoom platform. So if you want to join us for our after event, I really hope you can join us. It's a beautiful, wonderful discussion. Then all you have to do is go to irisetv.com live events and there you will see today's event and you'll see a Zoom link to join us live on Zoom. So I hope you will all do that because it's always great. We have these weekly discussions and it's fascinating the insights that come from other people and how it can support us in our journeys as well. So really the purpose of our talk today, and then we'll obviously have our prayers and meditations for Ukraine afterwards, is, is to look at how can we develop emotional resilience in the face of what is happening over there. And that's what it is. It's over there and yet it's in here. You know, I see so many people in a state of fear right now after coming out of the pandemic. They're experiencing even deeper mental health challenges as a result of the war. And I want us to understand and have awareness of why do we react this way, especially if we're empaths or highly sensitive people. And what can we do to support that? Because it doesn't help anyone. If there's suffering over there, we absorb that suffering and then there's lots of suffering in here that doesn't help the situation, and yet our brains believe it does. And let me go deeper into that. This is all about empathy. And everyone on the planet has a certain level of empathy, empathy being the ability to recognize and almost experience exactly the types of emotions that other people are experiencing. And empathy is what we call an adaptive tribal strategy. So what that means is for most of our civilization, most of our history, we lived in small tribal groups. And it was important for our survival to be able to support and look after the people in our tribes and in our groups and in the modern world, whether it be Ukraine, Russia, other countries, that forms a sense of nationalism or a sense of, I suppose, support for your identity with your country, that's an adaptive state because then you support and help the people around you. And so empathy develops that if somebody in your tribe has fallen over and hurt themselves, then you're able to recognize and empathize with that and want to help and support. And in ancient times, we would only hear the stories in our village, in our local ecosystem. And yet, fast forward to the modern world with 24 hour news, social media, this empathy strategy has become maladaptive. What that means is that suddenly instead of just that empathy applying to the people around us, the tribe, the 50 or 60 people in our group, this empathy strategy is now being applied to the seven and a half billion people on the planet. And what this maladaptive empathy strategy does is it creates a lack of resilience within us and it drains our energy. And for anyone, the people of Ukraine, the people of Russia, anyone being affected by this, you suffering, you feeling down, you being dragged down by this conflict is Pointless, and it's not useful. And yet the brain thinks it is. And we're going to go deeper into understanding why that is so. We absorb these images, we absorb these videos, and a sense of resistance comes up in us. We want to fight the situation, we want to change the situation. And unfortunately, when we have that resistance to what is so and we want to fight, although that is a very valorous situation, state of being, it also grows the problem and the issue in our minds. And that's where we send energy. That's where our energy goes. And of course, that depends on your beliefs about manifestation, etc. But even if you don't have that belief, we know that it drags down our energy. And we grow the problem through that maladaptation, that negativity, that fear, that concern, creating even depressive feelings within us. You know, a study showed that just 14 minutes of watching the news creates increased anxiety and sadness within us. Isn't that just crazy? Just 14 minutes of watching the news now, is that really what we want? Is that something that's going to benefit anybody? And so how do we expect to have peace on Earth if we don't have peace in the mind or our mind is in pieces? It is about recognizing that everything is energy. The situation is energy. Our own inner turmoil is energy. And if we see an external event and it creates more turmoil within us and a lack of inner peace, all we're sending is that kind of vibration around us, that kind of negativity around us. And so how do we develop this resilience in the face of calamity? And this is not just relevant for us, it's relevant for people on the ground in Ukraine, in Russia, you know, all of these different countries who have been impacted by this. And I emphasize Russia as well, because, you know, it has been shown that many people in Russia, we don't, if it's the majority or not, actually are opposed to this particular situation and are finding it really challenging. And look at how they're being impacted by the sanctions, the challenges and the negativity that's coming into their lives. And we also send our love and prayers to those people as well. Yeah. So this maladaptive empathy strategy, how it might be affecting us with not just the Ukraine war, but so many different situations. Let's look at the beliefs that might be causing it. One of those beliefs is worrying is caring. Right? If I worry, then I honor what people are going through rather than just forgetting about it and being ignorant of it. And sometimes we feel guilt if we're not caring and therefore getting dragged down by the negativity of what we're seeing. And this encourages what we call doom scrolling. Are you doing this right now where you watch the news and then you'll scroll through social media and then you'll look at the news headlines and you'll look at, read more and more articles and it's almost addictive because actually the unconscious brain thrives on that kind of drama, that kind of. There's almost kind of a voyeuristic aspect to it. Now I'm not saying be ignorant, I'm not saying ignore what's going on. We keep ourselves informed. But how much are you going beyond that and actually indulging some of these parts of our brain, especially the amygdala. So the amygdala is that kind of our worry center, our emotional center. And our amygdalas can be triggered when we hear about not just negative events in our own lives, but negative events around the world. And once it's triggered, it can then create a haze or a cloud in our minds, which makes us think that the situation is much worse than it actually is. Now, of course, that's not to once again undermine what's going on. This is a terrible situation that's going on in Ukraine right now. There's no understating of that. But worrying isn't caring. And lots of people do that when someone dies. When someone dies, obviously there's a natural grief process that people go through, but they almost feel like I'm not allowed to be happy now. I'm not allowed to get on with my life because that's dishonoring the person. And that belief system is something that we can become aware of and see is that useful and conducive and actually even true to my life. So some of the solutions here in terms of letting go of that belief that worrying is caring is to stop that doom scrolling. Yeah, and let go of absorbing too much news. When we said this, when we did our events on Covid, of course, and especially videos. So us as human beings, when we read something, there's an element of observer position there. So I would advise, if you're going to read about what's going on in the world, read about it the moment you start looking at images and videos. If you are a highly sensitive person or you are an empath, what that can do is once again it gets you emotionally charged much more than reading about it. And it can then create triggering of the amygdala, draining your energy, creating a Huge amount of negativity and making you have a distorted perception of the world around you. So let's stop that doom scrolling. So number one, the unconscious beliefs around this maladaptive strategy is worrying is caring. The second one is I can control this. Now the nature of our brains is we find a challenge or a problem, it triggers an emotion within us, might be fear, anger, guilt, shame. And that is a cue for us to do something about it to then reduce the experience of that emotion. So the amygdala says, let me create an emotion which is uncomfortable so that you are activated to go and do something about it. But once again, in the modern world where we have access to 24hour news and all this information around us, then what I think is happening is that it's creating this sick feeling, the sense of I want to control this but I don't know how to control this or I can't control this. And therefore there's a sick feeling of helplessness in the face of these world events. You know, how are you going to control the situation when world powers, NATO, etc. Can't even control this situation? Right. Let's get realistic about this. And so it's recognizing that need for control. It happens when we watch sports, you know, we're, you know, saying, come on my team, I want you to win. And we get really stressed and anxious and yet we have no control over that situation. So it's letting go of control and giving back in whatever small way you can. So this is about recognizing you don't have control, surrendering and letting go and saying, okay, I accept and surrender to what is. I'm not saying it's acceptable, but I choose to be in a state of emotional acceptance. Do we see the difference? Acceptance versus it's acceptable. So we have a place of acceptance and we surrender to what is. So knowing that we don't have control and when we recognize that and we deeply entrain that within our nervous system, we can begin to let go. And then from that stronger place we don't drain our energy. Instead we can do things. Yeah, perhaps it's donating money in whatever way. And I found that really powerful just to feel like you're being able to do something or donating clothes or organizing something, something that feels that you can make an influence but you can't control the situation. The third thing that I see around me is this fear of the future that, oh, this means that there's going to be World War Three and all of this. None of us can predict the Future of what will happen. And yet there's what we call Darwinian contingency planning that goes on in this ancient brain of ours in the amygdala, in the limbic system. This Darwinian contingency planning says we don't know what the future holds. So let me plan potential futures so I can have contingencies. Once again, you can see that that's a fantastic strategy when you're living in a village and all the news that you get is from the people around you. But when you're exposed to, you know, the global news, what is the global news? You know, sit you down at whatever time you watch the news at 9 o' clock in the evening. And what we're going to do is tell you about all the worst, most awful things that have happened in the world for about 15 to 20 minutes. And then you always say, have a good night's sleep, enjoy your evening. Well, you just sat there and you just told me all the worst things that are happening around the world. So once again, it's maladaptive. It's like your brain is trying to create contingencies and future scenarios that it can protect against, but that isn't relevant in a global 24 hour news environment. Does that make sense? And so once again, we've got to stop living in that pretend future. Because if you start visualizing, oh, but if this happens and that country does this and this country does this, you are projecting and imagining that in your brain. And your brain and your body create same experience, the same stress hormones, as if it's real and it's actually happening. Your brain can't tell the difference between what's real and what you've imagined. Right? And we know that from so many aspects of psychology. And therefore, let's not project into the future. Let's keep ourselves in the present moment, surrendering to what is so strengthening our own internal system and then doing whatever we can to give back. Fourthly, some of us may be triggered in terms of our past trauma, in terms of violence or authority figures. And if you are noticing that, it's very important that you work with a therapist or coach to support you and help you through that. Because violence can trigger past memories. And once again, the solution here is to reduce your exposure to imagery and videos of what is going on and instead focus on keeping yourself abreast of the situation and aware this isn't ignorance or shutting out, but what is going to keep you calm and centered. And finally, I want to talk about this very important point which is People see this as a sea change in global politics. Politics, global geopolitical situations that we've endured over the last whatever number of years. Yeah. And really it's understanding that there has always been conflict on this planet. There always will be conflict on this planet. We have come through so many different conflicts and we will come through this too. And yet when we're in the midst of it, it doesn't feel like that is true for us. Yeah, there's lots of conflicts going on even now that you don't really hear about. We don't really hear about. You know, there's, there's civil wars going on in Africa right now. There is the conflict in Yemen, there are wars going on in Asia, the ongoing conflict in Palestine. These are all things that have continually been part of the human experience and continue to. Will be, will be in the future. But because this Ukraine situation has, has just had more exposure, it feels like it's the end of the world. Right. But actually conflict has always been there. When we recognize that and accept that, it becomes easier and connected to that. It's recognizing that. So many people say to me, ashok, I wouldn't bring a child into this world. What a terrible world that we live in. It's just. I just wouldn't do it. And once again, this is a distorted perception. Yeah. It's like putting those sunglasses on. This is where human psychology meets modern technology. And that's often some of the challenges we have in social media as well, that our human psychology has that Darwinian contingency planning. Yeah. Planning the future to protect ourselves as well as how the brain and the mind default to worry. The mind defaults to worry. And so then we see all these terrible things going on around us and we have exposure to this 24 hour news cycle, which means telling us all the worst things around the world. And it makes us feel like this is the worst time to be alive on the planet. Things are so bad. Like, how are we going to bring children into this environment? And we start catastrophizing. And I think it's really important to be aware of this because what anthropologists tell us is that actually right now, as bad as things feel, this is the best time to ever live on the planet. Our life expectancy is double what it was even 100, 150 years ago. Most countries benefit from democratic processes which weren't there before. Most of us have access to good health care and amazing education and facilities and the Internet. We have access to all this knowledge. Yeah. And yet there's a cognitive bias in our brain because of the news influx that this is the worst time to ever be alive, the worst time to ever be on the planet. And it's recognizing, let's be grateful for what we do have. Sometimes we romanticize the past and the past was so good and everyone lived happily and actually that's not the truth. And let me show you a couple of charts on that. Before I do, I'd love for you to share this on your social media because we know there are millions around the world who are being affected and mental health is being affected by the situation in Ukraine. And many people who are empaths or highly sensitive people I think could really benefit from this knowledge. So please do share this on your social media with friends and family, do like and comment. And once again, just in 10 minutes or so, we'll be going live on Zoom as part of our Irise events. So all you have to do is go to irisetv.com and there click on Live Events and you can join the Zoom link and we're going to have a meditation and prayers for Ukraine and a discussion together. It's just going to be really, really experiential and powerful people sharing how they're dealing with the situation. So hope you can join us for that. So I'm going to share with you a couple of charts, if I may, see if this work. So on this chart here, this is a chart of global deaths in conflicts.