In this advisory video aimed at founders of small companies (under ~30 employees), Luke Murray shares his perspective on workplace romantic relationships. He opens with a story about two high‑performing frontline employees from different portfolio companies who have started dating, explaining why he views their relationship positively: both have strong work standards, share the same core values, and are poised for promotion. He contrasts this with a less favorable example of an employee whose personal life (dating a crack‑addict) was dragging down performance. Murray then outlines his personal policy: allow relationships unless they impair job performance or involve exploitative power dynamics. He illustrates the latter concern with his own past relationship, where a significant age and hierarchical gap existed but evolved into a mutually beneficial partnership as the partner rose to COO. Murray emphasizes that the primary trigger for intervention should be a decline in performance, not the mere existence of a romance, and he invites viewers to share their experiences or disagreements. The video blends practical advice, personal anecdotes, and a call for common‑sense, values‑aligned policies.
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If you're a founder that's got a company of like less than 30 employees and you're not sure about what your policy on relationships should be, personal relationships in the workplace, then this video is for you. In it, I'm gonna tell a story about a brand new relationship that I just found out about that has emerged between a couple employees in different companies of mine. I'm gonna tell the story about my own intercompany relationship that went wonderfully. And why my advice is going to be different than HR Karen's for the most part, except for the one part that's going to be— she and I are going to be on the same page about, and so is everybody else with common sense. If you don't know who I am, my name is Luke Murray. I am a former physician. I've been an entrepreneur for about 20 years. During that time, I've made about $100 million in revenue. I currently have a portfolio that does about $3 billion in revenue, and I make these videos Because I would like to have ambition without the bullshit, and I'm guessing you would too. So I've made a video before about how your personal life and your professional life can pull each other down or up. I have 2 employees in one of my companies that have risen professionally, and I've watched specifically their personal relationships with their family and romantic partners just in a matter of like 2 or 3 months, I'm watching the standard for themselves get higher and higher of who they let into their lives and the kind of boundaries and expectations they have of the people they do let into their lives. I also have a really great employee at another company who is in the opposite direction or is a similar situation. She's one of our top employees. She probably is the top employee, and she's literally dating a crack addict that's in and out of prison, or at least she was. And my concern had been that her professional life had actually started to get pulled down by her private life instead of the professional standard rising the personal standard. And I walked into the office today and she said to me, hey, really nervous. And she said, I'm dating this other guy who happens to be one of the top employees in at a similar level at another portfolio company. We work in the same building. And I was thrilled. And she was so obviously relieved, but she was like, I don't wanna lie, I don't wanna hide. And the reason that I was thrilled, and this gets to my point about my— one of my points about relationships in the workplace, is not because they're like, oh, it's okay 'cause they're of similar levels. They were, again, Frontline employees, but kind of at the top of their game, getting ready to step into lower-level management for the first time. It's not because they weren't in the same company, and so it's okay because you're dating across companies. It's because— well, 2 reasons. On the plus side, I could see— I asked her, how is he treating you? How are you treating him? Are you guys getting along well? Like, she said all the right things. He's being good to her, and I'm not surprised because he's good to everyone that he works with. So that's the first, I guess, bar to pass, but it's honestly not even the most important one. They have high standards for themselves and they both work their asses off. So they've got a lot of common ground to overlap their Venn diagrams, and they work in companies that have identical core values. The core values that I have are the same for both companies. So it just makes a lot of sense. Oh, what do you do all day? Spend 10 hours working towards a goal with these values? Oh, cool. Well, and the companies actually help each other. Well, I am one of your vendors essentially that helps you provide that service, and I live by the same values. They have so much common ground, so it's probably going to work out and they're going to be helpful to each other. But actually, that's not my reason why I'm okay with it. I mean, I'm excited about that one in particular. And so that's, I guess, what I would tell you would be a policy of mine is if it looks like a great fit, I will just say, I'm excited for you. Have a great time, guys. And if I think it's a shitty fit, I'll just say, hey, I'm worried that this might not work out. But at the end of the day, I don't actually care. That's my policy. If you suck at your job because some shit's going on at home, or you've got a substance abuse problem, or you just decided, or we just realized you weren't as sharp as we thought you were, or you're fighting with your boyfriend who happens to be across the hall, then you don't get to work here anymore. If you can't keep up, then you can't come. And I don't actually care why you can't keep up. So date whoever you want. Now, in my own life, there's the concern that like, what if there's an exploitative power dynamic? And to be fair, my ex was— I was in my late 30s, she was in her early 20s, and she started out off in my previous company as a frontline employee and rose to be the COO and my girlfriend. And the reason I was okay with that, other than the fact that I was in love with her and she was in love with me, and it was because it was for the same reasons that I'm excited about these 2 connecting. Even though on the org chart, we There was a large differential. She was making me better, I was making her better, and eventually she earned her place to similar levels within the company. The place where I would actually agree with HR Karen is obviously stupid, exploitative shit, like, I don't know, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. So I don't think I have much to add to that conversation. And if I do add to that conversation, meaning you do disagree, then— Yeah, let me know in the comments how you could think that that would be a good idea. Seems pretty obvious to me. I also would like to know if maybe you've seen this work elsewhere, or how you would say I'm a complete idiot and this is an inevitable disaster. Once again, thanks for watching.
