Become Focused and Disciplined
11 Feb 2021 · 33 min
Brendon Burchard, Jamie Kern Lima, and Amanda discuss how to build focus and discipline through scheduling, showing up consistently, and social connection. They cover practical habits for personal growth and introduce their Growth Day platform.
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Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard and welcome to a best of edition of the Brendon show. Hey, everybody, it's Brendon Burchard and I'm excited to share with you that we have started a new mortgage morning show called the Growth Day morning show. We stream live every weekday from 7:30am Pacific Standard Time to about 8:00am Pacific Standard Time on Instagram Live and Facebook Live.
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Or my Instagram page if you'd like to watch these live trainings.
What's special about it is I'm doing.
These morning day shows with Jamie Kern Lima. If you don't know Jamie, she is that epic success story of somebody who went from waiting tables to having a dream to start a cosmetic beauty line to making stuff on her kitchen table to ultimately building and scaling it cosmetics which she sold to l' Oreal for.
Over a billion dollars.
So you get kind of mentorship from myself and literally someone who built a billion dollar company every single morning on my Instagram 7:30am Pacific Standard Time on.
Weekdays with me and Jamie Kern Lima.
It offers that format for us to have a conversation every day and I.
Hope you'll join us there. If you're new to my community and.
You haven't heard what we're doing with.
Growth Day, please Participate by visiting growthday.com.
Growth Day is my new brand and our new company, a new startup where we go live every single week with the world's best personal development teachers helping you improve your life. Our thesis is every day is a good day to grow.
You know, every day you can choose a new attitude, you can take a new action.
Every day you can learn. Every day you can try to be your best. Every day you can get more focus, move towards your goals, be a better mom, parent, caregiver, leader, teammate. Every day it's a good day to grow, but you need that consistent motivation, you need that consistent learning, that consistent curiosity and confidence that you know you're on the path to great personal development and self mastery.
And that's why we started Growth Day.
Growth Day. Teachers go live every single week for.
Less than a dollar a day throughout the year.
And it is unbelievably powerful.
You get myself, Jamie Kern Lima. You get health coaches, you get personal finance coaches. It's unbelievable. Go to growthday.com and check it out. But with no further ado, we want to share this episode.
I hope that you will enjoy it.
This week's theme on the Growth Day morning show with Me and Jamie is, how do you become more focused and discipline? And I was joking with Jamie in advance. I said, we can't just call it discipline week, because if you do, people will watch because they feel guilty about it or you don't like it. But if you say, come focused and disciplined, then everyone's like, oh, I'm game for that.
I know. That's the thing is we want everything but don't want to do the work, which I'm right there. That's how I feel most days. Most days. But, yeah, no, I thought I watched pieces of the Super Bowl. I thought Amanda Gorman's beautiful poem was wonderful. And I missed the halftime show. I. I saw a bunch of recaps of it. I missed that. And yeah. You know what's interesting is we talk about focus and discipline, and it is a mate. Tom Brady, whoever anyone is rooting for, whoever anyone is rooting for, his focus and discipline on not just football, but all of the areas of his life. Right. Fascinating and also inspiring. And I think there is a commonality between so many people that achieve great things or feel joy in their relationship or make it through the day as a parent doing homeschooling for the first time. I think there's daily habits and there's that learning of focus and discipline, and it's a lot, but I think it really changes your life. And I think the thing I've been seeing all over online this morning is a lot of people not just talking about the super bowl and talking about whatever, but actually talking about Tom Brady's habits and Tom Brady's focus and what does he do in his day to day life with his sleep, with his diet, all of those things. Because I think people are fascinated by how do you perform at the highest level for so long and continue that. And it's not just the football. It's not just the thing you're doing. It's kind of like everything, right?
Yeah. And here's the good news. You actually needed to be disciplined in so fewer things than you think you do.
Thank you for that. Can you elaborate? Because that's good news this morning.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it is good. Brendan Burchard's got some good news for you today. You have to be way less disciplined than you think you do. You only need to be disciplined at just a few moving, consistent pieces in your life. And when you get that, when you do those things, those habits or those things, you want to be disciplined about what I always call needle movers, the things that move the Needle forward that, like, peg out the board or make you go faster or more efficient or effective. When you get disciplined about the things that really matter, it's great because all the guilt for all the things that you don't show up for, you're not awesome at kind of goes away because the momentum and the progress and the fulfillment and the joy of the things that are the big things move you forward. And so I always tell people, like, here's what this. For all those who are like, oh, my God, Discipline. Please don't talk about it. Let me. There's good news. There's three things to discipline. One, scheduling. That's the core of discipline is you have to schedule something and choose to do it and choose to prioritize it. Discipline comes from prioritization. If you don't have the prioritization, discipline won't stick. So, okay, all we got to do, let's schedule something, put it on the calendar. That's step one. Step two, show up. No matter what, just show up. You don't have to show up in a good attitude. You don't have to show up perfect. You don't have to show up with your hair. Did you just have to show up? People are like, how are you and Jamie so disciplined to do a morning show? Well, we schedule it at 7:30am we try to start at 7:30am Pacific, and we just show up. Some days we know what we're going to do. Most we have no clue.
Do you know how many people in the personal growth space, people that are multiple New York Times bestsellers, big shows, all that stuff, they're like, how are you going. Wait, you and Brendan, you're going live? Like, Monday through Friday. Every day. I'm like, every day? We're starting week five this week. They're like, you're going live? Like, that's like a keynote or a fireside chat. Every. I'm like, every single day. Yeah. Yeah. And we're doing it. So cheers to that. Cheers to everyone. Part of this with us this morning. We're all growing together. We're all getting inspired together. I love this so much. One thing I wanted. Sorry to interrupt your thought, but one thing I want to just point out to everyone, just a moment of appreciation for Brendan and for how you deliver these, not just from your research, but from your whole career of doing this. There are awesome people in the personal growth space who I love and I love watching on stage, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But there's not the research behind it. They're not all that. The framework, the how to, all the actual things, some of which aren't sexy. Like, I don't want to think about focus and discipline. Right. But listen, at the end of the day, so many people may. Maybe I get an amen on this. There's a lot of people out there that are also entertaining in the personal growth space. But then you leave and you're like, okay, how is this gonna. Like, how am I gonna. What am I gonna implement in my own life to actually bring more joy and bring more better relationships and more focus and help my dreams come to fruition? And the thing I have so much appreciation for your work, Brendon, is that, you know, you're so different in that you're also really fun to watch on stage. No one dances better than you on stage. Like, all the things.
Thank you very much. Very hard on my dance moves, people.
You're so funny. All the things. Like some of my favorite speakers. But you're able to bring these core things, the stuff that we've all been to, a lot of stuff. And it's fun and it's entertainment and it's inspiring. But then also, what are the things we can actually do in our real life that really make a difference? And I feel like you bring both, and I think that's so rare. So I'm just sitting here as your friend, just appreciating it because I'm like, oh, wait, Brendon, tell me the three things. You see what I'm saying as well, Because I think we're all in this together. And you have such a vast background with high performance Institute, with all the research, everything. Sorry, okay. Three things that we need to do. We don't need to be disciplined in everything. We don't need to be disciplined in everything. But you're saying these three things really move me up.
I'll give you three principles.
Yeah.
For greater discipline. And then I'll tell you the actual three things to do to generate more discipline in such a way that your personal growth grows, that you feel, like, alive and connected and meaningful and joyous on this journey because that's what really matters. I mean, discipline sucks. Unless in some ways the outcome is progress, Greater engagement and aliveness of life and greater success in whatever way you measure that. So the three principles of all of, like, discipline comes down to number one. Mastering your schedule. I know that sounds so boring, but it is so absolutely fundamental to your focus, to your progress, to your health, to everything. It doesn't matter if you say, okay, I Only want to schedule one thing today. That's fine with me. I'm not trying to own every hour of your life. But that one thing better be awesome and it better be a needle mover. So scheduling show up when it's scheduled. And then the third thing, which is most important as a principle, all of discipline. No discipline happens unless on a real consistent basis, unless you have social connection. All of the research shows the most productive people, the most focused people, the people who are most fulfilled in doing meaningful work have attached a meaning that their focus, intention, their hard work is attached to social connection. Meaning I'm going to show up for this because it's going to make me a better mom or parent. I'm going to get healthy so I have more energy for the kids. I am going to do this project so my team and company grows so we serve more people and we make an impact. It's like the hard work must be attached to impact. But the impact isn't just self like, oh, I'll get this. It has to have a social connection. You have to have a reason to show up over and over and over for others. That's why we always teach in high performance. You have to have a little card that says, who needs me on my A game today? I am disciplined because I would be less disciplined doing a morning show. I'm more disciplined doing a morning show because Jamie's there, she's waiting on the other end. If I don't get there, I feel like a chump. So that's important. Okay, so let me, before I tell you three things I think you should be disciplined at, what are three things you think people should get disciplined at in their life? To enjoy life better or to have more success or happiness?
Yeah, no, I think that's so powerful. And I always talk about the idea of doing something bigger than yourself, attaching a meaning to it that's bigger than yourself a lot. And I think hearing how you put it is having that social element to it or that social component. And I think one thing just to call out on that is sometimes people don't know how do I? They haven't attached that. That point of identifying how is what they're doing impacting on a social level. And so just to give an example of that, just to kind of break it down, I think that it can be a result of a result. And what I mean by that this morning, because I have book press all day today. So I'm like, I'm not missing my morning walk, right? I walk for an Hour every single morning. And so today I did it at 4am I did not want to get up at 4am I didn't want to be outside freezing at 4am What I know though, what I know. And that could be the thing I'm disciplined about. So if you just take that, we're like, okay, well, what does your walk have to do with something that's social connection or bigger than yourself? Right?
It's preparing to do the job for others later on. So you're.
Here's the thing. I literally don't want to do it at 4am Right? But what I remember is exactly what you're saying, and it's the attachment to it. And what I mean by that is on the days I have missed my morning walk, I notice a big difference. Later in the day, I notice that I'm not as sharp. I notice that when my friends call me, my advice isn't as on point or I'm not as great of a listener because I'm not able to be as present. I notice that I am less joyful. I feel the day less. If I don't do that one hour, I don't want to do of that morning walk, right? And so the way I'm able to show up and serve or impact or give or be a parent to my two little ones or any of that stuff is impacted if I don't have that discipline or that focus of just doing a morning walk for an hour. So I'm actually, I see it in real time, the impact. And so I choose. Okay. For me, a walk seems so simple. And with COVID sometimes I literally walk in circles. We were in lockdown in California and weren't allowed to even walk on the streets, right? So I did it in my little small driveway. Or some days it's my around the kitchen, around the kitchen. But at the end of the day, it's like, okay, for me, that seems like a little thing. But for me and my. What I've noticed is that's actually a big thing, right? And so one question, Brendon, is because I think this way of thinking, right, Schedule it, show up social connection. We can process what that is. But then processing, well, wait a minute. What does that mean in my real life, thinking through what are those big things that are needle movers? Because we get them in theory or in concept. But sometimes a needle mover can be for you can be as simple as the one I just shared, which is my morning walk, even though I did it at 4am today because I know for me, that's a big needle mover with everything else, with what Brendan's talking about of social connection. Because for me, that's how I transcend getting out of myself and not feeling the day and being tired and actually serving and connecting and inspiring. And by the way, I just realized the three things you said are part of that morning walk, right? Schedule it, show up even when you don't want to. And then you know that socialize.
Doing it for yourself is helping you care for others. You know, that's exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
That's so good morning walk. That's a simple needle mover. You know, it's that old saying. Ethan, my partner at Growth, he always says that little hinges swing big doors. You know, little things you have to do to swing a big door.
Hey, it's Brendan. And I want to jump in the middle of this episode here real quick and tell you about something I'm really excited about and something that answers a question that many of you have for me all the time, which is, Brendon, where do you get this crazy focus and energy in your life? And the truth is I've developed a supplement line that really helps me do that. And frankly, I needed to. I don't know about you, but sometimes when you're trying to achieve big things, a lot of stress comes along. And as you're trying to achieve bigger things, you need to be on your A game more often. You need to be mentally sure, sharp. You need to be mentally prepared. You need to be mentally energized and productive. And not once in a while, but like every day you have to be on. And sometimes guzzling more coffee isn't going to do it. You have to use what we call nootropics, which are, you know, basically supplements that help optimize your brain. And yes, we have a product for exactly that. It's called HPX Optimized and it is our most popular product. And you can get it. It's back in stock@HPX wellness.com that's HPX wellness.com you'll find HPEX Optimize for your mental focus and energy there. You'll also find my favorite powdered energy drink that we created, this 100% organic and vegan. And you'll find my essentials, which is my daily multi that I take, that covers my energy, that covers my longevity, that covers my immunity, that covers my brain and body health that I absolutely love. And you will feel the difference. Go to HPX Wellness.com right now. HPX Wellness.com.
What are the things you know, if you're disciplined about? Your life improves? What do you either a, what are you great at being disciplined at? And it moves the needle for you. What do you suck at being disciplined? What do you wish you know, what's something you feel like, gosh, if I was more disciplined about that, my life would really improve. Because I think we can all learn from where we're great and where we also struggle. Because struggling for me, for discipline, I definitely struggle in most areas of my life with discipline, which would surprise people. They're like, what? Really? For me, I'm incredibly undisciplined at email. Like, I'm just. I wish I was more disciplined about email. Getting in there, doing it on a consistent basis, making sure everyone's got their reply. I just, I just suck at email. The good news is I'm good at all the other things that moves the business forward that matter to me and actually make the business grow. So you don't have to be perfect at everything. You have to pick your spots, know your strengths and the outcomes you want, lead them towards it. But I'm seeing a ton of people. Exercise is a big one coming up. Doing your planners, doing your morning routines. I'm seeing that diet, exercise, all that. We call them meds in Growth Day, if you haven't heard that from High Performance Academy 2007, like, you gotta take your meds. Meditation, exercise, diet, sleep, and then Rx, good relationships and supplementation. Like, when those are on point, bam, everything's good. You become this annoying in life.
No, it's so good. And I know one of your friends, Arianna Huffington, doing so much even to talk about the importance of sleep. Right. I think we're in this society, especially for people living in the US and then some other countries as well, where it's like, we think sleep is, we're trained to think sleep is for someone who's lazy. And it's like, oh, no. If you're going to have your best life, your top performance, your most. All the things that, that it's like, sleep is so critical. And Ariana Huffington doing amazing things.
You get sleep, right? The rest of things line up. So that's, that's a fundamental discipline, like having your, you know, we call it three, two, one, sleep. Three hours before bed, no food. Two hours before bed, stop working. One hour before bed, stop the screens. And you know what? Everyone goes, yeah, yeah, that doesn't work for me. Or I'm like, no. What means is you haven't actually tried it for 10 days. Because if you try that for 10 days, you will never, ever go back because you will feel so good. You'll be more focused, you'll be more productive. And people, I don't have time for that. I'm like, no, you're losing time because you feel like crap. People don't realize if you feel like crap, you're losing time. You're not as efficient, effective, as creative, as engaged. Like, you lose when you feel not good. And I know that's hard because we have plenty of people here who are struggling with health issues from mental health issue all the way to, like, physical bad. Like, they got a bad medical report and they're like. So I don't say this to pretend it's perfect and easy for everybody. I say it to like, we have to know those areas that will move the needle for us and do our best. Let me share the high performance side of this real fast because I said there's three principles, right? Schedule it, show up, attach social connection. But now here's the things I would do if you said, brennan, if you could only be disciplined about three things, what would you do? And it's not what you all think. It's totally not what you all think. And this is very much that makes me happy and progressive in life. So they're not sexy. The number one thing, if I could give anyone a discipline to always do on the first of every single month, you do a whole life review. When that calendar hits one, as in the first of the month, you look at every major area of your life, you score yourself, you ask how you'd like to improve that and what could you do this month? Because most people never improve their life because they never face their life. Yeah, you have to look at it. So every first of the month. That's why that's. That's for those who are new to us. Growth Day began with Growth Day actually began because I said, let's do it on. Let's do our personal development on the first of the month. So I go live for two hours and Growth Day. So if you're not a member, go to growthday.com because I do a full personal development seminar on the first of every single month. Because I feel like if we start the month off, we nail that. We start it with good attitude, energy. But also you're looking into the month and asking, is the way I've scheduled this month going to help me move towards the lifestyle I want or the accomplishment of the major three projects I'm working on in My life.
And also, if we don't do this, I feel like it is so easy. And how many people can relate to this where if you don't do this, all of a sudden you blink and you're like, oh, it's halfway through the month. Or, oh, three months have gone by. I don't even know what's. How did this even happen? Right? How many times have we done that? Like, wait a minute, it's Thanksgiving. Like, wait a minute, it's spring break. And it's like your life flies by in a blur.
This is the. For those who have the High Performance Planner, you know this page super well. This is your monthly review section in the High Performance Planner. And what it does is it makes you look at the 10 major areas of your life, from health to mental, emotional partner or love, family, friends, mission, experiences, spirit, finances, learning, growth. It helps you reflect on the things you learned in the last month. Learn about others, learn about yourself, what you're grateful for, the main priorities coming up, the decisions you needed to make or could make. Your monthly review and orienting yourself to your year goals and three year goals. Like, if I don't do that on the first of the month, what happens is the middle of the month, I don't. What am I doing? I might be showing up, but I'm showing up in a hot mess all the time because I don't have direction. So if I could give you anything, start the first of the month super clear about that month. If that's all you did, I promise you'd be more engaged with your life. Second thing I do, I believe another review is needed every Sunday. So Sunday, do your weekly review and your weekly planning. I don't care if it takes 10 minutes, an hour. Some of y' all are crazy. Y' all do like two, three hour, like, introspective, like, you know, LSD journeys. I don't know what the heck's going on, but I think it's important to go okay on Sunday. Is this upcoming week? Am I clear about what I want of that? Am I clear about how I can serve? Am I clear about these little slots of time? Do they make sense to me? I mean, just that it can take so fast.
Sunday, yes. Planning the week. By the way, Mel Robbins, Growth Day Coach. Someone I'm. Oh, my gosh, I love Mel. Blow the roof off the building. Mel Robbins, like, number one female speaker in the world. Highest requested female speaker. Amazing Growth Day coach. Sorry, not to get on a tangent, but I'm so fired up. People like Jenna Kutcher, Mel Rollin. People that you typically have to, like, travel somewhere, pay all this money to go to this big event just to hear them speak are going to be live inside Growth Day, which I'm so excited about. But just to add one thing, I was watching Mel's Instagram stories, and she just was mentioning that every Sunday. Exactly what you said she goes through and plans out her week. And I try to do the same thing as well, because otherwise, especially if you're juggling other people in your life, whether it's a partner or kids or teammates or a group you're part of or whatever, it's like planning it out. It's. It's big. But anyways, a lot of people I know do the same thing. So. Okay, Sundays. That was part two. Sorry. I got all fired up about Mel Robbins for a second.
It's so good. Yeah. If you guys don't know Mel, please follow her on Instagram, but also join us. Growth Day, officially, because she trains you every month for an hour as well. And so you're getting, like, basically a dozen of the best personal development people training you throughout the month so that you're just on your A game. Work as part of discipline. You just need to be part of a community that's moving that way. You know what I mean? Like, I'm pulled into discipline because my peer group and the people I'm learning from with all this personal development being busted in my head every day, I'm just like, oh, yeah, you need those reminders, you know? So, third thing.
Yeah.
All right, listen. If I could give you three things to move the needle in your life. Number one is a month through on the 1st of the month, look out. And, Lois, please don't think that this or the Sunday review, which is the second point, is just about your schedule. You are reviewing the major parts of your life. You're connecting with them, you're scoring them. You're asking what more you desire there and what's something simple you can do to improve that area of your life each month? It doesn't have to be huge life transformation, because, look, transformation takes time. You might just like this little thing, this little. This thing, but being aware of it, that's important. So the monthly, then the Sunday, you've got to win your mornings again and bring intention for, I think, two things every day. If we can bring intention for two things every day, we win that day. To me, the first one is, I'm going to bring the joy to this day. I'm going to choose my attitude. I'm going to develop a mindset that is unshakable, that is joyful, that is, I'm going to be in every room. It doesn't matter if I'm the loudest. I'm going to try to be the most generous and grateful person in that room. I'm just going to bring good energy. Be responsible for the energy you are projecting onto others and into this world. So I think for me, that intention of. I have an intention to have joy. Each day I'm going to have some fun. I'm going to make that happen. Because sometimes life doesn't do it for you. It just doesn't. So I'm going to bring the joy. So that's my. That's an intention. So what I'm saying is the third discipline is every day you have intentions for feeling life.
Yeah.
For me, feeling life means bring the joy. That's number one, I'm gonna bring the joy. And number two, I'm going to make a moment with somebody today. Maybe I send them an audio. Maybe it's the way I look at my wife. Maybe it's the thing I call up my mom and. Or I sense a beautiful appreciation email or text to somebody. But every day I'm going to bring the joy into the day and I'm going to make a moment. Because at the end of your life, I learned this face my death twice in my life. You remember these moments and scenes with other people. It's so important to realize that. And so you have to ask, are you going to have enough of those moments and scenes? Are they going to be at the end of your life? You kind of. It's true. If it's true. You see a movie, what are the scenes of that movie going to be? You get to direct that. And I promise the scenes in the movie almost always have these beautiful connections with others. It's like most people don't realize the ending movie of their life is love scenes and connection scenes with other people where it's like these like meaningful moments, if you will, let's just call them meaningful moments. That's what you see at the end, meaningful moments. So if that is true, if it's true, then you have to purposely structure and build in meaningful moments. So you love the movie at the end. You know that you love the movie. You want to watch the movie again, that you appreciate that you're going to bust out the good wine and have that good popcorn with that meaningful movie. And so every day that's. Now that's mine. I'm going to bring joy to this day and I'm going to make moments.
Yeah. That's so good.
You might have different intentions. Maybe your intention is like I'm going to do this thing as a mom or as a leader or as a whatever. Doesn't matter to me. But if you don't have the intention, the days just blaze by nothing. You can be working hard. You can get your schedule down. You can have your calendar prioritized with all the tabs and all the different marker colors and everything else. But if there's no intention for feeling. You were a good robot today.
Yep.
But you didn't.
And we've all had days like that where we feel like a human doing right, not a human being. That's so good, brendon. That's so good. And a moment, a meaningful moment can be different for every single person. But how many days do we go through and we forget and a meaningful moment is free. You know what I mean? It's like how many days do we forget to do that? That's so powerful. I love that.
I love that you have so to me, that's funny that the discipline is to have the intention right. Every day when you have the intention or every moment or every experience when you have the intention, it turns out better. Like this morning we talked about jamie and I before we started, we talked about what's the show about today? What's our theme for the week? Our theme for this week is focus and discipline. Our theme for the week, the month in growth day is confidence. And if you're not a growth day member yet, please sign up@growthday.com because last week I taught two hours on confidence. Jonathan fields from the good life project taught over an hour and a half on confidence and so did dave hollis and they took questions and did coaching. And upcoming we've got mel robbins, jenna kutcher, Jamie. Oh, my gosh. David bach is this week. I mean, it's going to be epic, guys. So go to growthday.com because you can get live coaching twice a week with us and you get the replays for less than a dollar. A frigging day for the year. I mean, it's unbelievable. So go to growthday.com it's my favorite thing. And my favorite thing.
Yeah, it's amazing what you're doing.
My favorite thing.
Glow atonmo prince ea I'm trying to. There's so many incredible people in there. So super excited.
Coming up. He's just fire.
I can listen to him all day long.
Like, oh, his voice.
I know, it's. It's insane.
Like, oh, okay, we're overtime. I love you guys. Listen, I want to remind you, every day, you can choose a new attitude. You can improve. You can take that step. You can show up for your schedule. Just show up. Remember to do the things we talked about today. But remember, you're stronger than you think. Future holds good things for you, and every day is a good day to grow. So go have an awesome week.
Okay, my friend. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Brendon Show. Tell some people about this episode. It's on each of us to spread positivity and empowerment during these times of chaos and negativity.
Right?
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