Day 4: Wellness During Crisis - Free Wellness Masterclass
19 Mar 2020 · 48 min
Brendon Burchard teaches stress management and boundary-setting during the COVID-19 pandemic. He covers explicit communication and time management strategies to protect your mental well-being when everything feels overwhelming.
Foreign. Hey, my friend. It's Brendon Burchard.
And welcome to the Brendon Show. Hey, y'. All. We continue now my free broadcast of my Wellness Masterclass. You know, during this time of this growing pandemic and, you know, people being quarantined, having to stay home, stay away from groups, stay away from, you know, congregating with other people, I know the stress continues to mount. And so this day, a Wellness Masterclass is a critical listen and a critical.
Share with everybody, you know, who has.
Stress anxiety or is freaking out about the current situation we are facing with Coronavirus and COVID 19. It is a very must share episode for the Wellness Masterclass. Now, I wanted to shoot this new intro here for you to let you know that this Wellness Masterclass is obviously not going to be up forever here on the Brennan show podcast. So please do yourself a favor and make sure you download every single day. So first make sure you're actually subscribed here to the Brennan show. And then when you download it, it will be on your phone so that when we remove it in the future from the Brennan show, which we will be doing, because I'm just airing this entire course, which we usually sell for a hundred bucks. I'm airing it for free for you.
All because I thought, you know, what's.
The best content I've got and what's the best course I have that can release for free right now to just help people cope and deal and lead right now during this difficult time. So this wellness Masterclass will not be up forever. So go and download every episode of the season. I did two episodes on Coronavirus and as you can see under the title, it says coronavirus, Fear, focus and forecasting. That is a must listen to if you haven't listened to it. And then obviously we've got day one, two, three and four so far here of the Wellness Masterclass.
Please make sure you share it with.
Everybody and download the episodes right now.
Also, if you would like the entire.
Wellness masterclass, the actual course, the video course with all the downloads and tools and journal prompts. If you'd like to watch that with your family instead of watching some Netflix or Hulu or Disney and do something to actually strengthen the wellness of your family, make sure you go to HPX wellness.com because I'm giving away that course to my entire global community right now for free with a trial. So go to HPX Wellness. I'm giving away that $100 course right now for free as part of our courses program, trial and you can just watch it for the next 14 days for free. I want to do that for our community. And then last, let me just kind of riff a little bit here for you before we jump into this. You know, I was thinking today of like what is causing most people, you know, so much stress during coronavirus and obviously it's because chaos, which is certainly happening right now in the economy, in the world as we're adjusting to the pandemic.
Chaos makes us feel stressed, but chaos.
Makes us feel stressed because chaos makes us feel fragile. I mean, that's the thing, right? I just posted this on my Instagram today. You know that all the nerves and stress that so many are feeling right now, this sense of being unsettled, fearful, anxious, worried, so much of that is the result of our human response to chaos, which fundamentally makes us recognize our own vulnerability in the world, doesn't it? You know, chaos strikes. Suddenly we realize we are more fragile than we thought, more exposed, less informed, less in control than we thought. The spiral then begins really hard for those who are unaccustomed to chaos. And a lot of people are very unaccustomed to chaos, especially after this last Dec. Decade of comfort for a lot of people.
So.
But something else is revealed at the same time, and that is strength and steadiness for those who spent their lives doing hard things, setting impossible goals and fighting hard for those goals, stretching themselves to grow and lead and care for others and share the truth over and over and over and over again without a guaranteed result. Because the more you sought self improvement and personal growth in your life in the past, the more inevitably you face the chaos, right? You actually willingly open the door to chaos when you quit a bad job, left a crap relationship, started that side hustle, had kids, spoke up, tried new things over and over again, again with zero promise that they would turn out. So that's it, isn't it? There is chaos in the world right now. And yet those who have worked on themselves are facing it differently, defining it differently. And I'm not saying that they're not worried. I'm not saying anyone is perfect. I'm not saying that we aren't all recalibrating reality and our plans and our identities. But I am saying thank God for this community to my listeners here on the Brendon Show. Thank God for you, where we have spent years together, decades together, doing hard things, facing ourselves, working on personal development, willingly thrusting ourselves into the unknown, out beyond our comfort zone, out there, into.
The vastness and down there in the.
Abyss and we have done it over and over and over again. So for those dedicated to growth and leadership and real contributions in the world, chaos is not something new. Hello, old friend. Chaos, nice to see you again. I'm sorry you have to take another loss soon. You gotta take another L. Chaos. I'm in command. I'm the captain of my ship. I will chart my own course. I will live my life, even a minute. I will stay centered. I will set the emotional tone. I will be the role model through and through, no matter what. So if you're hearing this, please remember the theme that I've shared here for 14 years in my career as I've posted daily on social media or the Internet somewhere. This theme of you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you. All right, my friends, listeners, let's get on with the Wellness Masterclass. If you love this class today, please share it. Please share this episode far and wide. People need help in coping with the stress. So with that, let's jump into day four Wellness Masterclass.
Hey, my friend, it's Brendan. Welcome to day four of my Wellness Masterclass. I'm super pumped in this session to talk about one of the biggest challenges people talk about in their own wellness and well being, which is the concept of overwhelm. It's like, Brendan, I'm usually good and then so much gets piled onto me from the kids, from my family, from work, from my own expectations for dreams and things I wanna make happen in my life. I'm freaking out. I'm stressed out. What should I do? In this session, we're gonna talk about a specific way to deal with that overwhelm. And the next session we'll be talking specifically about how to deal with the stress of it all. In this session, I want to cover it in a unique way and that is maybe help you reframe what's happening sometimes with that feeling of overwhelm and where that comes into play for most people. Now, as you know, I'm a certified high performance coach, so I spend most of my week working with top level performers who, you know, they got a lot on their plates too. You know, they've got career, they got family, they're trying to take care of themselves. They've got expectations or they've got big audiences and, and just like anyone else, they've got to balance all these things or find some kind of equilibrium, even if not balanced so they feel okay for life. And what I've noticed is those who don't feel okay in life because of the demands or the responsibilities. There's almost always one universal culprit, right? Lots of things might be going on, but one thing seems to be there and be part of the problem almost all the time. And I want to check this with you, so let's do a little exercise here. Is there any area of your life right now where you do feel overwhelmed? Is there like a project at work that's kind of freaking you out? Or is there like a set of goals you have that you feel like, I just don't know how to go about that. Is there somebody who's just layering on the responsibility when your plate's already full? I want you to think about that situation for a minute and let's see if we can identify this number one culprit and see if it's true for you. What I found over and over and over and again, what that culprit tends to be for most people. What led up to that overwhelm was the inability to set boundaries proactively or to keep the boundaries. So this is a common concept in, like, personal development. And personal wellness is like, if you're not setting boundaries, everyone is gonna load your plate. If you're not setting boundaries, the kids will take all of your time. If you're not setting boundaries, the boss will just keep giving scope, creep onto the next project, into the next thing, in the next thing, next thing. And you are gonna be perpetually stressed and overwhelmed. And that is what poisons a lot of people's wellness. And they've got this deep well where they feel like, you know what, I'm contributing, I'm doing my thing, I'm good at my job or I like my life. But oh my gosh, I'm wiped out all the time because I'm seeking to serve everyone else's needs. I'm trying to be a people pleaser, to take care of everybody else. So I schedule my time to be the caregiver. I schedule my time to be the leader. I scheduled my time to be the spouse, the. The homemaker. And I have nothing left over for me. Because I have nothing left over for me. I don't get to do my passions. I don't get to follow my heart. I don't get to be who I really am. I don't get to live each day excited about the day. Cause all I'm doing is being slave to that desire that I have to please everybody else. And if I decide that I want to please everybody else, they just keep giving and piling it on. And piling on. And one day you're just overwhelmed. Not just with one project, you're overwhelmed with life. You're overwhelmed with the reality that you're not living true to your own path. And I know that's just a difficult.
Conversation for a lot of people.
Cause I spend my days in lots of the conversations like that. So if that's where you're at, tons of empathy for you. And I'm cheering you on here. But I also have very hopeful news. There's easy ways through that. It doesn't mean that there'll be like easy conversations, but the way out is pretty clear. And so let's talk about some of that things. And the way I'd like to talk about it with you today is by giving a larger sort of philosophical discussion on human nature. And they'll tell you what to do. But sometimes when you just, you've been overwhelmed for a decade or three or four, or you're really stressed right now, it's really, really easy to just want to tactically solve everything with missing the bigger picture. So here's what the bigger picture is. I wrote this book called the Motivation Manifesto. And what I'd done to write that book is I did about a three year sort of exploration to understand how did the great leaders in history deal with times in which there was chaos, turmoil, revolution, overwhelm. Like what did they do to cope with that? How did they talk, how did they lead, how did they serve other people? And I learned a lot through that process and ended up writing the Motivation Manifesto sort of based on the tone and the rhetoric that they would use to change. But one thing I learned from them, when they were talking about frustrations that people had, they would always say that, you know, what people really want, what we all want, what really drives our behavior, what really will bring us fulfillment and joy and happiness. One of the things they'd always talk about was this concept called freedom that we all want a sense of what I call personal freedom. And personal freedom means I have the ability and I sense the freedom in my life to be who I truly want to be, to express who I truly am and to pursue the things that really matter to me, right? So it's like I can be who I am and I feel free in that. I feel safe in that I don't feel like other people are shutting me down. I can do the things that I want to do without other people taking over my agenda, telling me what to do, making me conform or pushing me to do something I don't want to do. And I feel like that's an important drive for me, that of personal freedom. People really, really start feeling unwell in their life when they don't feel the freedom to express who they truly are and to do what they truly desire to do. So what in the world does it have to do with? Overwhelm. One of the reasons we come into overwhelm and one of the reasons we need to learn to set new boundaries is to ensure that, that we can be who we want to be and do what we want to do, because the world conspires to strip those freedoms from us. The world conspires, like society, people, culture, advertisers, marketers, the Internets, you know, the goblins on the Internets, the trolls. What they want to do is tell you who to be, and they want to tell you who you are. Being is not sufficient, not good, not positive, not awesome, not beautiful. So they smash you down. I know you've been subject to this kind of judgment before. And by them kind of encroaching into your space, telling you who you're supposed to be. Your sense of freedom in life, you don't feel that anymore. You feel boxed in. Like you've got to meet the expectations of other people. Then if you let other people tell you what to do all the time, or you get trapped into that cycle of people pleasing, you end up spending most of your day doing things that you're not passionate about. And now that sense of freedom in life is constrained because you feel like, ugh, obligations, right? There's passions, there's joys, there's art, there's fulfillment, and then there's straight up dirty obligations, like things that you don't want to do. You're just like, this sucks. It makes you bemoan the journey, like the opposite of freedom and is bemoaning the journey. It's like, oh, do I really have to do this again? I hate doing this. And think about that. Because if you hate doing something, you know, I think there's a spiritual precept that says whatever you apply hate to quickly dies. So if at work you're always doing things that you hate, that passion for your career dies. If you hate part of the process that is required for you to succeed in your field or your career, and you hate that one part of the process, hating that one process will quickly kill the passion for the overall field. Right? The overall effort. So what does this have to do with what we're talking about with wellness? It has to do with the fact that if we don't protect your ability to express who you are and be who you are, and if we don't protect your time so that you can do things that you really care about, the world will eat away at those two things. You will end up living someone else's life and doing everything else for everybody else and never for yourself. And guess what that does? It poisons your mental well being. It poisons the well. And now you're not being right, well being, you're not being who you are and you're not doing the things that you're passionate about. And after a period of time that starts just corroding on your psyche and now you're waking up and you're just like, ugh, your energy goes away. Ugh, your motivation goes away. And now you don't even know why. And it's because you didn't understand that overall philosophy is like, whoa, it is really important that I protect my ability to express who I really am and I protect my ability to do things I'm passionate about. So how do you protect those two things? You set boundaries around them. And that's so hard for people to do. It takes courage, it takes real explicit communication and it takes an unbelievable level of consistency. I mean, I know that personally, the number of people who tell me I'm not good enough or smart enough or they don't like my shirt on a video, it numbers like in the millions per week. I'm not kidding. Like the number of DMs that I get and the number of comments that I get. You know, we have 5 million plus folks on Facebook who follow us over a quarter million, no, 250 million video views. You know, I get a lot of feedback, trust me, that tells me hate what you wear, hate how you look, your hair is stupid. You know, I hate the way that you talk. I hate. I mean, every day, every day I could be bounded in somebody else's conception of me or I can protect my peace and I can protect and set boundaries and tell people who I am and set that intention out there and express that over and over. There will be haters. But if I don't continue to express that, in that silence grows suffering. When you don't express who you truly are, that silence of self becomes suffering and it steals away from your well being. And now you're not performing so well at work, now you're not yourself in your relationship. So there's no real authenticity and intimacy there. The consequences are pretty dire. So how do we do Those things, How do we actually set those boundaries? Well, let me give you a way to think about it. Remember, I say that sort of the main motivation, the main drive of us as humans, one of the main drives outside of like love and connection are those two things. The ability to express who I truly am and pursue the things I truly desire. So here's what we have to do to double check your wellness right now. Is there anyone in your life who you feel is constraining your ability to express who you truly are? Does your family, your friends, your loved ones, do they know who you truly are trying to be? Do they know what you truly want? Have you given yourself permission to express those things? It's a tough question. Is there someone in your life who's not, in your opinion, allowing you to.
Express who you really are?
And I'm going to ask you to do the hardest thing in the world. I'm going to ask you to talk to him today. I'm going to ask you to talk to him today because as we talked about in the last session, you can avoid it or you can neglect it or you can try to improve it. And I know it's easy to say, well, I've tried it with them before, Brendon, a million times. I'm like, great, let's go for 1 million and 1 times. But try to change the approach. And here's the approach for setting that boundary. It's very simple. It's to say to someone, it's like, hey, we're in a conversation or when we're in relationship, when you say this to me, I feel like this and I shut down. And I really want to be able to be myself around you. So I have a request. Could you not say that? Could you not do that? Because I'm feeling like I'm not myself. So I can't connect with you because I feel sometimes judged or I feel sometimes shut down. And that's not helping our relationship. So do you have a minute to talk about that? That's terrifying. And if you don't do it, you will end up regretful in your life. You have the difficult conversation now or you end up regretful later. And that's option A and that's option B. And no one likes when I say that. But isn't it true? Option A, express it, talk, fix that situation. Option B, avoid it and lead to regret. And I don't want that for you. And I know this is a difficult conversation for people to have. And trust me, I've had to coach through It a lot where I talk with a spouse and she feels like her husband doesn't support her dreams or, or her time or her wellness or I talk with a senior manager and she feels like the team or the boss is always piling it on and the only way out of that is for her to take action in that situation and to no longer allow it, to have that dialogue and let people know, hey, this is too much, or I don't like this, or this doesn't work for me. If we don't have the difficult conversations of life, we end up living somebody else's life. And so I'm cheering you on. You invested in this course, in this program to face life head on and improve your wellness. And this is one of the great breakthroughs in every person I've ever met. Their great breakthroughs always come from having that hard discussion and setting boundaries.
Hey y', all, let me jump into this episode real quick with something I usually don't do, which is kind of.
Like a, I guess they call it.
A mid roll ad or something. But I decided to do this right now because I'm literally at home working during this coronavirus pandemic. And it's really ignited a lot of questions from my community about how do I do that? You know, how am I thinking through my career, how am I thinking through building my personal brand and my online sales during a time in which, yeah, we're home? Like, how does my industry or my career or my approach to it function? And so what I want to let you know is if you did not know, I do have a program for that. It's called the Influencer Business program. And it's where I'm like teaching you.
This is how I do everything.
I teach you how to grow your personal brand, monetize content, launch campaigns, books, courses, webcast, live webcasts, subscriptions. I mean, it's about basically how do you grow your audience in online sales faster no matter where you are, no matter if you're starting or not? Because clearly you've seen me do it not just with the podcast, but with 300 million video views, 25 multi million dollar online course launches, three New York Times bestsellers, 5 million fans on Facebook. I mean, you've seen the covers of the magazines and the chart topping stuff and the, you know, if you're on the email list of millions of email subscribers or you've seen the social media posts from other influencers, you know, joining my masterminds and asking me how I do it all, it's like I've been.
Blessed with all of that.
And I just feel like maybe this is the time that you learn to build your personal brand, that you finally get yourself up online and making real online sales. Because, you know, I've been doing it for 14 years, every day, full time, and I've spent, you know, literally tens and tens of millions of dollars on figuring it out, on running ads, on learning which campaigns work, which ones don't, on starting from nothing, pushing every button myself to finally grow bigger and bigger and bigger. And people always want to know, what's your marketing strategy? What is the modern thought leader business model that can be, you know, built and monetized quickly? You know, how do you tell your story or build credibility? And how do you get people to buy from you or what should you sell, what should you not sell? Or how do you create great content or online curriculum that sells? Or you know, what are, you know, what are funnels and launches and how do they work? And what should I do first, second and third? And if you had to start over, Brendan, what were the four things you should do? Or what tools and systems use? And how do you get promotional partners? How do you do online challenges, how do you create lifelong fans? I mean, I'm just like literally sitting here thinking, this is what I do every day. And if you would like to get a seven day crash course on that and then even live monthly marketing training for me, that's what we now call my Influencer Business program. And you can literally just go to influencer businessprogram.com and it'll take you to the page to learn about that. Now, it's for serious people only. Obviously you hear me during this, you know, this global sort of shutdown and pandemic with coronavirus. Giving away one of my courses with the wellness Masterclass. But this one, this one's for serious players. There is a charge to it obviously, where I go live every single month. And I also give you some of my best online training so, so that you can get your personal brand growing, grow that audience, make more online sales. So if you're into that type of thing, go to influencer businessprogram.com I mean, that's influencer businessprogram.com altogether. Influencer businessprogram.com and you can learn about the multiple membership levels. I kind of made it affordable. If you want to do a monthly or if you want to take the whole year or you want the advanced pro program, you, you can learn all about that. Influencer Business program. Com. My main message to this audience and everyone I'm talking to right now is if you have not done the work to get yourself online, if you feel like you're falling behind in the digital era, if you don't have recurring revenue every single day with some type of online sales, if you don't get the hint now, you're never gonna get the hint. I mean, you need to do that now. In this growing pandemic, I genuinely believe we are going to see such a disruption in the economy in the coming months. And those who have figured out pretty things to grow their Instagram but never built the business model, never learn recurring revenue, never learned how to do real launches that bring in the real money that allows them to have the living, they're really going to struggle this year. We're going to see people who have, you know, no fans, no audience, no email list really struggle. But we're also going to see people who have no online sales really struggle. And we're really going to see people who have even millions of fans but who never figured out the monetization completely fall apart. So please go to influencerbusinessprogram.com if you are in this industry or, you know, it's time to build your personal brand and get those online sales going. Because, listen, the economy is going to be really difficult. But also, more importantly than that, listen, it's time to share your voice, to lead, to be a role model, to share your expertise, your life wisdom, your perspective about things with more people. Because we need more leaders out there sharing positive messages of hope, of strength, of optimism for the future because we will make it through this. And it will be the influencers and the voices out there sharing our thoughts, our wisdom and our advice that will help carry and set the tone towards a better future. Influencer Business Program. We'd love to see you in that program. Influencer business program.com with that, let's jump back into the Wellness Masterclass.
So boundary number one is to identify where you don't feel like you can express yourself or be who you truly are. And basically in some kind of concept, some kind of high school way with more maturity to be able to say something as simple as, hey, let me be me here. Is there someone in your life you need to say, hey, let me be me. Let me do my thing. Let me follow my own path. It's important. I. Because when you don't, you feel miserable. I'll give you an example from my own career. Like one time I was doing a big event with Tony Robbins at like the Meadowlands in New Jersey, which is like this big arena, right? And I had never spoken yet on his stage. He'd been on my stage, but I had not been on his stage. And I was super nervous because Tony's a great friend, big mentor. I've known him for a long time. I want to do a good job for him on the stage. He's got, like, 2,800 people in this arena, and I'm supposed to go on stage and kind of go through there, a little bit of outline that he and I had prepared, and then make this offer of this program that people could enroll in. Lots of expectations. I go there, I'm backstage, all of his team, lots of people who want to protect him and his brand and his name and this event start coming up to me saying, brendan, don't say this, don't do that. Don't walk over there. Don't be like, this audience is like this. And literally, like 10, 15 people over the course of an hour. Like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Don't do this. Don't be that. Don't do this. By the time I got out on stage, I didn't know what I could do or who I was or what planet I was on. And I gave, like, a speech and a performance that, for me, was like. I felt like it was level, like three out of my 10. And I was so upset, and I was so frustrated. It went fine. It was okay. But afterwards, Tony and I were sitting kind of debriefing it, and he's like, how do you feel like it went, brother? And I was like, what? I don't. You know, man wasn't feeling. Wasn't my best. And he asked why, and I told him that, you know, all these people were giving voice to what I should do, who I should be, what I shouldn't. And he gave me some great coaching. He said, listen, man, you never allow someone to tell you who to be ever again. He said, I've been on stages where they tell me, tony, don't clap. Tony, don't make them stand up. Tony, don't make them have fun. They're too serious. And he goes, I go out and do it anyway, he says, because at the end of your day, you're going to evaluate whether or not you lived.
Your life.
Or someone else's rules. And it was great coaching. And it was like, you're right, man. I failed to express to them, say, I appreciate what you're saying, but my style is this. And it's my butt on the line on that stage. I do it like this. This is the way that I go about things. And we need to find a way here, like instead of just accepting because everyone's gonna tell you the rules, everyone's telling you what to do, but you need to express, no, this is my style, this is what I do. And if you don't do that, you start, I'm telling you, you just got a little, your identity starts getting all these little snips and bites from other people and then one day you are gone. So who do you need to have the conversation with that essentially says, hey man, let me be me? Is it your spouse? Is it your partner?
Is it the boss?
Is it somebody that the next time they go to tell you who to be, you're going to trigger and remember well, that Brendon Burchard told me I better speak up for myself. And you know what, if you speak up for yourself, could it create conflict? Yes. Should you anticipate it will create conflict? Yes. So in that moment, you stand in your truth and you stand in your power and you still stand up for yourself. Because one of the reasons people don't have a great sense of wellness and well being in their life is they never gave themselves permission to speak up for themselves. They never gave themselves permission to be who they truly are because in some ways their self worth was low. Why was their self worth low? Because too many times in life they let others lower their self worth without them speaking up for themselves. And so this becomes sort of this cycle. Don't speak up for yourself. Self worth lower. Self worth lower. Don't speak up for self.
Self worth lower.
Don't speak up for yourself. Don't speak up for yourself. Self worth lower. You need to grant yourself permission this day, right here, now. And you need to find a reason why and you need to commit to it why are you going to share with other people why it's important that you can be who you are. Setting a boundary in real life is telling somebody, I'm sorry, that's not me, I'm sorry, I don't think that way. I'm sorry, I won't do that. I'm sorry. This is who I am and how I do things. This is what I value. Speaking up, that's setting a boundary. All setting of boundaries happen verbally. There's no such thing as setting a boundary by insinuation or hinting. And that's what we try to do. You try to hint at somebody, hey, you know, and you kind of glide around the topic, but you don't set. Say it. Explicit communication like that is the way that you set that boundary. I know it's hard, but you sign up this course because you're willing to do the hard work to improve your life.
The other area to set a boundary.
In, if the main human drives are to express who we truly are and to do the things that we deeply desire to do, is you've got to identify the areas of your life where you're not doing what you want to do enough so that you feel fulfilled and a sense of engagement and meaning. So here's the question. Is there somebody in your life where you need to say, hey, man, let me do my thing. Let me do this? That might mean at work, you finally say to your boss, hey, you know what? There's a project I really wanted to start. Instead of you sitting there waiting or taking every other thing that the boss shovels onto your plate, you say, you know what? Can we have a conversation? I do want to be a great contributor here. I want to make a great difference. I love taking on these projects, and I know I'm trying to be helpful and everything, but my heart, my passion, the thing I'd really love to do here looks like this. Could we have a conversation about how ultimately I can move into that, or I could do that. I'm happy to help here, but this is where I think I can make the great difference. If you've never said that in your career, you don't have a career. If you don't lay out what you expect, dream of desire at work, no one's going to figure it out and build that for you. You build your career. Well, the same thing happens in every other area of our life. We've got to be explicit with people to share what you want. I can't tell you how many people I've coached to work with who said, well, Brennan, my parents wanted me be a lawyer, and I decided to be a dancer. And that's when I became happy. Well, Brendan, everyone told me, you know, I had to be loud and obnoxious, but I was truly an introverted person, and I decided to do my own art. And that's when I became happy. We become happy when we are who we really want to be, and we are doing what really resonates and aligns with our values and our heart, and it requires explicit communication. So I really, genuinely want you to identify, who do you need to have that conversation? With in your career or your mission or what you're doing on a day to day basis that might not. Even if you don't have a career or mission, you stay at home. Okay, does your spouse know the activities around your house that you want to do versus what you feel obligated to do? I worked with this one person one time and in his household he always did the laundry, which is amazing. I know, but he always did the laundry. He hated the laundry. And he would complain about this and this came up over and over and he felt like he would do like these weird, like backhanded comments or passive aggressiveness in the household because he felt like he shouldn't. He's above that and he didn't want to do that and he just hated it. I said, have you ever had the conversation, well, she should know, she should know. No. No one should know anything that's going on in your brain. They have no X ray into your thoughts. You have to lay them out for people. Your explicit communication is the thing that safeguards your wellness. Your wellness can be compromised in every other angle. But when you draw a circle around that wellness with explicit communication, saying, I'm about this, I want that, I desire that, that's safeguarding your wellness. Will some people cross the boundaries? Absolutely. And when they do, you call it out. You go, hey, listen, I understand that this is important to you, but for me, this is what's important. I want to help here and I can over the short term, but ultimately I need to transition to doing this like I'm trying. This is about you taking back your life. Because when you feel like you don't have your life, when you don't feel like you have freedom in your life, isn't that the opposite of wellness? Doesn't that show up in every area of your life? This is why this is an important topic. And so what I want you to do is like, think about. What I'm talking about in a roundabout way is like three gateways to setting these boundaries. The first gateway is giving yourself permission to do it. Like, if we're ever going to get there, we got to unlock it and go, you know what? You deserve to live the life that you desire. You deserve to be who you want to be. You deserve to do the things that you care about. And I can't give that to you. If you've been waiting for the universe, the world to give, it's like, wow, permission granted, my friend. You know, it's like at some point you've got to give yourself Permission. I can't give you the permission, but if you needed it, I just did. If you need the universe to do it, it just showed up in serendipity day. Wow. The universe made me listen to this weird video from this kid Brendan and hot dog. I'm gonna give myself some permission. If you needed permission, you're the only grantor, my friend. Give it to yourself today. Gate one is permission. Gate two requests, explicit requests for who you want to be and what you want to do. Okay. And then the third thing that most people don't think about with boundaries is a little old productivity secret called block time. What does this mean? You need to block in your schedule, in your calendar, on your phone time in which you are doing the things that matter most to you. Most people, the reason they feel like their boundaries are always broken, that when I actually sit down with them. No, the issue isn't that their boundaries are broken. It's that they never set any blocks of time to do the things that they want to do. Meaning they were always in reactive mode, not strategic mode. Like, when you have great wellness, it shows up on your calendar. I can see that you've blocked some time to do that workout that's important to you. I can see that you've blocked some time to do that art project or that hobby or that side hustle or that learning thing that's important to you. And most people who feel like their boundaries are broken all the time also happen to be the people who rarely set boundaries of the time of the day that they do things. So there's like, oh, Brendon, email's stealing my life. I'm like, email is stealing your life? Yeah, it's all the time. I'm like, well, how about you set a little block of time here to do your email and then a block of time to do things that matter, and then a block of time to do email and then a block of time to do things that matter. In other words, you need to protect your time and set boundaries around time. Because the first one I talked about, permission, that's psychological, right? Request, that's social. The third one, block time. That is the most tactical way to guarantee that you feel like you are on path in your life. Like, if you looked at my calendar, there's blocks of time where I'm doing the things that are important to me. No one gave me permission. I didn't have to ask for it. I took it. I own that day. I own my dream. I own that block of time. This is what's going to happen. If you're not scheduling things out, what you're doing is you're leaving time to randomness. And in the vacuum of randomness, everyone will pile on. And when they pile on, babe, that's when you're overwhelmed. So I gotta tell you, it's time to block the time. It's time to realize that your freedom also lies in your discipline to schedule your time so that you feel like you do have freedom in your life. Cause you're doing the things that matter for you before you have to please everybody else, before you have to say yes to the things that maybe you don't want to do. Exactly. Right now, before you have to live that person's thing you get to do. You because you put it in the calendar and you showed up for yourself. It's tactical. A boundary is a boundary around a block of an hour, a block of two hours, a block of three hours. Where you say nothing but my goal or my dream happens in this hour or, or in this two hours or in this three hours, nothing happens. I don't reply to emails, I don't look at DMs, I'm not on social media, I'm not down the wormhole of YouTube. In this two hours or this three hours, I make my dreams come true. Cause that's making you captain of your fate. That is putting you in the driver's seat of your destiny. And when you are in the driver's seat of your destiny, you feel that human motivation called personal freedom. And in that freedom, your wellness flourishes. I hope you liked this session, y'. All. It's a little bit of a fire up session. It's a difficult session and it's a challenging session. I want you to have the conversations. I want you to realize it will be challenging, it will be difficult. But if you don't face the challenge, if you don't endure the difficulty, you don't get the transformations. You came here to grow. So if you came here to grow, face it, deal with it, make the requests, block the time and start living your own life because you deserve it. So what'd you learn? What was this session? What was the fire up point? What was the aha. What was the breakthrough? Please share what you're struggling with, but also what you're committing to. What conversation are you going to go have now? Just share that with the community. Like, hey, I'm going to finally have this conversation with my husband. Here's what I'm going to say. I'm going to talk with the boss. Here's what I'm going to say next time they ask me this, I'm going to say that, like, set that pole in the ground, that today is the day that you reclaim your personal freedom. Share it with us so you inspire us. And then I'll see you in the next session. Okay?
My friends, I hope you enjoyed this special section of the Wellness Masterclass. I'm hoping that you'll just share this with your friends, your family, your loved ones, people you really care about right now in this time of crisis.
Again, if you'd like to actually access.
The entire course, my entire wellness course masterclass course, I'm giving it away free to our global community right now. To anyone who goes to HPX wellness.com that's HPX wellness.com and you can access the entire Wellness Masterclass.
All the videos, all the tools, all.
The resources, the entire course that we charged 100 or $200 for in the past for free as part of our seven day free trial into our courses program. You know, it's a program where every single month I release two new personal and professional development courses for that community every single month. It's the most comprehensive courses program in personal development. A lot of people call it the Netflix of personal development and I would love for you to check it out. And we're doing that by giving you away. The Wellness Masterclass right now for our global community for free@HPX wellness.com Hope you enjoyed this episode. We'll give another section tomorrow. In the meantime, share this with everybody you love.
Take care of yourself.
Choose to protect your health. Care deeply about your mind, body, your spirit right now. During these times, maintain your emotional center. Remember, you get to choose your focus and your thoughts right now. You get to set the emotional tone for your family, for your friends, for your team, for your community right now. How you show up really matters. So care for your health. Be a person who is positive out there. Take care of others. You can choose High Performance Day. You can choose to go beyond ordinary and you can still be extraordinary even in times of crisis. So do that. My friends, thanks for listening to the Brandon Show. Please share this episode around the world for me. I'll talk to you soon. Hey, my friend, I'm jumping in here with one last message to you that we bolted on here to this Wellness Masterclass because it just, it's just timing. You know, everybody is asking me how I run my career, how do I generate online sales, how do I build the real business? I mean, how am I getting my personal brand out there. How am I thinking through this industry during this time right now? And so if you're somebody who's wanted to share your voice and you've known you needed to monetize your content online, you've known you need to grow your following. You know that for security through this modern economy and what we're going to face this year, you need to generate recurring revenue. You need to get some online digital content out there. And you don't want to get left behind in what is obviously becoming a greater and greater digital economy. You need to be out there. And if I can serve you with that, here's how I do it. Go to influencer businessprogram.com influencer businessprogram.com and that will take you to my membership levels in the Influencer Business Program where I help you understand how do you grow your personal brand? How do you create and monetize content? What should you do doing with live casts or launches or subscriptions right now? How do you grow your audience and online sales faster? We have three different member levels and I'm here to tell you as you are certainly listening to my voice right at this moment, why can't that be your voice? Why can't you be and the person sharing positivity, hope, guidance, strength, optimism out in the world right now so that we can help people face the chaos with a little bit more confidence, with a little bit more authenticity and vulnerability, but also personal power. Why can't you take anything you've learned in your whole life about career or business or wellness or health or just.
Living a good life, being a good.
Parent, you know, chasing your dreams? Why can't you take that advice to structure it, build a personal brand around it, build some online digital content around it, sell it, get recurring revenue and build something that not only carries you through with digital sales through this scary economy, but more importantly sets you up to share your voice and make a difference at a time when it matters more than ever. You clearly hear I'm passionate about this. So go to Influencer Business Program right now. That's Influencer Business program dot com.