Develop Your Self-Awareness

This is a great time to gain some greater self awareness. Without greater self awareness, we aren't resilient, we aren't authentically confident, we aren't vibrant, we aren't healthy, we aren't able to deal with all of the chaos without conforming to everybody else. The moment we lack self awareness is when the impulse to conform to everybody else enters the moment we lack self awareness. We don't know how to ask for what we need in an argument with our partner or spouse. The moment we lack self awareness, we make a bad decision that we knew wasn't right for us. It's always the first thing. Awareness, the first big gate of personal development that I believe everybody goes through in their own journey to maturity. Happiness, fulfillment, aliveness, connection with others, ultimate life satisfaction, that first gate of awareness. So the first gate of personal change is awareness is awareness. Now I know some of you already know this, but think about this. In any given moment, we can be aware of our feelings, of our environment, of how our emotions are affecting our minds, of our decision making, of our surroundings, of God, of universe, of connection to this very moment. In any given moment, awareness can ebb and flow, can't it? And sometimes in your life, I know some of you feel this way. You're going so fast, there's so much on your plate. You're so busy at home and at work, everything's going 90 miles an hour. And it's like, it feels like you're so torn from happiness or torn from the moment that you don't feel connected. And that is when awareness is sort of out the door. And that's why in the last decade, the topic of mindfulness, you know, went from sort of a, sort of a subtle art to like a societal need. And as all of the research has been showing in the mindfulness research of how that can make us feel more grateful, happy, appreciative, loving, connected and kind and resilient. It's become more and more clear that people get this, but you don't go through the gates of awareness all the time by choice. Sometimes it's pushed upon you. I know many of you have had that story, just like I have in the past, where you weren't ready for change. You might have been resistant to change. Does anyone have any family members, team members, people in your life who are resistant to change? It's just like you're around people like, why won't my husband change? Or why won't my child want to be better? Or why won't my kid do better? In High school or it's like we all know somebody who just doesn't ever shift into that. And what you need to know, I'm going to make you sort of a casual coach today or an influencer or a leader today. We'll use all that under the term of influence today. If you want to influence others, you have to understand they're not going to start taking action to change until they've gone through the gate of awareness. And sometimes that gate of awareness, you can inspire it, you can role model it, and sometimes life just has to happen for them. We all know people like that. It's not a judgment. Sometimes you can't be responsible for everybody else in their lives. You got to let life be their educator. And I've said that in other, I'd say more obnoxious ways in the past. I've said, hey, you can't be responsible for the train wrecks in everybody else's life. But hopefully, as we all mature and become more conscious, we realize that everyone walks a tough path. And as we become more aware of the difficulties others face, we become more compassionate, more kind, more thoughtful. But you and I both know where it begins, don't we? It begins within. It begins with a consistent practice of, of gaining greater self awareness, gaining greater self awareness to our real thoughts, our real feelings, our real desires, our real needs, a real understanding about where are we in our lives. I know friends who, this last year, for example, they realized how incredibly unhealthy they were physically. And they finally decided, you know what, I got to get in shape, I got to eat better, I got to stop drinking so much, I got to start taking better care of myself. And they made major shifts. Why? Because maybe one day that moment of awareness hit for them. They looked in the mirror and they're like, oh my gosh, I hate what I see. Or they finally accepted how they felt. Or they listened to that message in their brain that says, hey, you can't keep doing this, you got to get healthier. There was always that moment of awareness. Something happened, there was a moment where it clicked. What was that for you in your personal development journey? If you think about the, maybe the three biggest times of your life that you changed, like those big, what they often call in psychology, those inflection points or those critical incidences, what were the three times when just major shift happened in your life? I promise there was a major gate to awareness opened up for you. Either it was an insight and aha, maybe you're like Eckhart Tolle, you're just laying in bed and all of a sudden awareness and presence enters your life. A new level of conscious lands on you. Wonderful. Maybe you had to go through something. It was a divorce, a business ending, you got fired, somebody said no, you got in a health challenge. An accident happened. For me, as you know, an accident happened. I got in a car wreck. And it was the ultimate perspective check. At that point in my life, I thought I wanted to die. At that point in my life, I had been suicidal and depressed. At that point in my life, I didn't see that my life could ever be abundant or happy or loving. I didn't get it. And then that car accident, bam. And that was like a knock on the head. Literally. That opened up my eyes and made me realize, oh, I don't want to die, I want to live, I just don't know how. And that was my awareness. It was, I want to live, I don't know how, but I've got the second chance and I understand, I want to live, I understand, I want to love, I understand, I want to matter, but I don't know how. And that began a lifelong journey in personal development and then psychology and then philosophy and then neuroscience and then high performance studies to try and just understand how do people change? Well, maybe as you are listening to what were those three big things for you? Maybe it was a health thing, something happened with your family. Maybe that was when you went off to school or you had the birth of your first child or something happened and it shifted you into another level of awareness that said I want to improve, I want to get better, I want to be healthier, I want to be happier. And if you haven't had that yet, then let me knock on the door a little bit and say, hey, this is a great time to gain some greater self awareness. Without greater self awareness, we aren't resilient, we aren't authentically confident, we aren't vibrant, we aren't healthy, we aren't able to deal with all of the chaos without conforming to everybody else. The moment we lack self awareness is when the impulse to conform to everybody else enters the moment we lack self awareness. We don't know how to ask for what we need in an argument with our partner or spouse. The moment we lack self awareness, we make a bad decision that we knew wasn't right for us. It's always the first thing. Awareness.