Exclusive: Larry King Interviews Brendon

Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard. And welcome to a special episode of the Brendon show. In this episode and the next two episodes, I'll be playing for you some interviews that I've done out on the road about my new book, high performance habits, how extraordinary people become that way. And the interviews aren't just about the book. The interviewers asked me about my life, about how I, you know, sort of came up with my philosophies, how I became a writer, a trainer, how I deal with stress, what my morning routines are, the challenges I faced in growing and scaling, how I help customers, and all of some of my greatest hits in terms of high performance strategies that you can use to improve your life. You'll find those in these next three episodes. And what I love about these is if you've seen my little movie on YouTube or on Facebook about my life as a public speaker, you'll know the behind the scenes of these stories. And that is in this one, you'll hear me going, you'll hear my interview with Larry King. And if you've seen that video, if you haven't, just go to my YouTube or go to my Facebook. It's at the top of my Facebook page right now. Or if you're listening later, check it out on YouTube. Just type in, you know, my life as a public speaker and go to my YouTube channel.

You'll see it.

And it's basically a 30 minute sort of mini movie of my time behind the scenes promoting high performance habits, including speaking to, you know, 50,000 people in one summer. But also these interviews, you'll see that.

I was so sick when I did these interviews.

And so I'm curious, honestly about how they come across when they're just audio only because to me, watching them on video was so painful because I looked dead. You know, I don't know if you've ever had to do something and you were sick and you just hope to make it through. Well, I did that during this interview with Larry King. I was so sick when I got there. And, and then the same thing, I went and interviewed with Lewis Howes. I was really sick. And then literally, you know, 24 hours later, I was with Marie Forleo in New York City. So Larry King and Lewis Howes, they're in Los Angeles and I interviewed with them. Really sick. I went to the Oprah Winfrey Network meeting that you see in the video. And then I and which people are loving, by the way, if you've never seen inside of the Oprah Winfrey Network Studios. And you'd like to see it. Just go look at that video shooting behind the scenes. And there people were really excited.

They're like, oh, that's what it looks like.

And then I hopped on a plane, flew out to New York, ended up taking a private helicopter ride into New York City, which that footage is amazing, too. Again, all of that can be seen on my YouTube channel under a video called My Life as a Public Speaker. And, man, it was a whirlwind trip, especially because I was so sick. So I do apologize if I don't have the same sort of tone and excitement and power in my voice in these interviews. It's not because I was nervous. It's because I was hanging on for dear life. Because some of my friends have commented on the video itself, like, you didn't look good. I said you sounded good. And you explained the book well, and you explained your strategy and your story well. But, man, I'm worried about you. And it was just that I happened to be sick at that time. Other people have watched the videos, whether it's on, you know, Larry's channel or Marie's channel or Lewis's channel, and said, hey, you look fine, dude. I don't even know what you're talking about. So I guess it just depends on how well you know me and how familiar you are with all of my work. But with that, this first one is a really special one. I'm going to kick it all off with the interview with Larry King. And I'm doing that because, you know, Larry has been a mentor and a hero and a buddy in my life for a really long time. And first, as a sort of a hero, I first. One of the first books that really made a huge impact on my ability to communicate was Larry King's book. And he did a book back in the day of how to talk to anybody, anywhere, anytime, about anything. And this was at, you know, his height of powers when he was at cnn. And it really impacted my life. I read it in college, and it made me realize that I could get over myself and be confident with other people because I could learn to not focus on myself, but rather ask people questions and be curious about them, and then I'd be able to fit in anywhere. And it was incredibly powerful concept for me personally. And so if you'd like to check out Larry actually teaching advanced communication skills, at least his advanced, like, he attributes these habits and these ideas as the most important thing for helping him become the world's most famous broadcast interviewer and news. Just go check out growth.com Larry King. That's growth.com forward slash Larry King, full disclaimer. I helped produce that course and I'm one of the founders of growth.com so in some way, if you ever sign up for his course, I'm sure I'll be compensated somewhere, I hope. But I share that because if you ever want to learn from the best, go watch his course. It's some of the, I mean, honestly, it's the fundamentals, but it's what made him great. And I really, really loved that course and was honorary part of it. And then when this book came out, I didn't know if he'd interview me or not, frankly, because, you know, he's got a, he's got producers and he's got to choose what's right and, but I, I was so thrilled to be able to go out there and spend some time with him. So I hope you'll enjoy this interview with Larry King. And please do me a favor. Two things, actually. One, make sure right now take a screenshot of you listening to this episode of the Brendon show and throw it up on Instagram and just hashtag the Brendon show and maybe enonbichard me, my Instagram handle. And because if you didn't know it, I only get the feedback from you guys through that one medium. And so what I do is, is I'm in there constantly giving away gifts, T shirts, swag journals, books, signed copies, seminar tickets to people who are listening to my podcast. Since I'm doing this new format, I'm really just dying to hear your feedback. So please just hashtag the Brennan show or me enonmachard and I'll check you out and I'll appreciate that. And I'm doing a lot of shout outs and shares, as I'm sure you guys have seen. Second favor, if you haven't got High Performance Habits, the book yet, you gotta get it because it comes with the deluxe audiobook version and that is about to expire. So go to Brendan.com habits, that's Brendon B R E N D O N.com habits and that's where you're able to buy a book on Amazon, then come back to that page, enter your order number and bam, you get the deluxe audiobook version which will be selling separately for $49. You get it free with your book purchase. So Brendan.com habits for that all around, I want to say thank you to you. You know that video I mentioned, the video of Me talking about, you know, my life as a public speaker has now been viewed as I'm recording this over 500,000 times in three days between YouTube and Facebook. So that kind of phenomenon and, you know, getting something like that to take off, I mean, 500,000 views in two or three days, that's Netflix numbers and that's some, that's what you guys made happen. So I'm really thankful and appreciative and man, I can't wait to see where that goes in like the next six months. I mean, that's going to turn out to be, you know, something that's been viewed, you know, million or millions of times. So I thank you all for that. I'm surprised that people enjoyed it so much and honored though. And, and so I hope you'll check that out too. With that, my friends, and no further ado, the one and the most greatest amazing, consistent news interviewer in history, the one and only Larry King.

On Larry King now, world renowned success coach Brendon Burchard. What is Brendon Burchard's definition of success?

For me, I want to live a fully charged and connected contributing life for that means charge. I want to have energy, you know, I want to have your energy in my life someday. And I want to be connected with the people I love, my family, my friends, my team, the people that we serve. And I want to know I'm making a difference. There's this myth that, you know, if you're really achieving a lot in life, that you must be miserable, you know, you must feel like you're scared all the time and work 24 7. But that's not true. High performers, to be able to maintain success over the long term, you have to take care of yourself. And as you take care of yourself, you learn what's meaningful for you. You learn what makes you happy. You would think that the highest paid people would necessarily be the highest performing, but there's a lot of highly paid people in corporate America who don't do anything.

We're learning.

Plus, I'm not famous for being a morning person, but when I do get up, I have three 20 minute routines I do every morning.

First one all next on LARRY King now. Welcome to LARRY King. Now our special guest is one of my good friends and one of the most talented people I know, Brendan Burchard. He's one of the most successful coaches in the world today. Brendan is a New York Times best selling author whose videos have been viewed over 100 million times online. He consults and coaches People like Oprah Winfrey, Arianna Huffington, Usher, and many, many more. Today we'll be talking about his new book, High Performance. How Extraordinary People Become that Way. When's it coming out?

September 19th.

This is your what book?

Sixth book. And this one took 10 years of research of my personal experience, three years of academic research, which was hard for me because I'm not an academic or a psychologist, and it's the work of my life.

What are high performance habits?

These are the deliberate things you do to achieve long term success. So it's not luck, it's not just having passion, it's what do you actually have to do on a daily routine or on a sort of a ritual basis to make sure you stay on your game and accomplish what your goals are.

The great baseball general manager Branch Rickey once said, luck is the residue of design. I love it. Make your luck.

That's very true. And we found that this is a long term academic sort of research project and over 100,000 subjects interviewed pulled the data, did everything we could. And there's no question luck isn't the thing. It's that these people have deliberate habits. They do on a consistent basis and that gave them the edge.

And where did they form them? Did they happen naturally?

No. A lot of them by necessity, they just, their back hit the wall and suddenly they needed to seek clarity or they got really, they got burned out. So they had to figure out how to manage their energy or they weren't as productive as their peers. So they had to learn to get productive or nobody listened to them. So they learned they had to get influence. Most people don't know that these are the habits they need. So that's why we came out with the research. But most of the people who had it almost didn't know. It was almost unconscious competence.

And this is performance in all areas.

Yeah. High performance is basically how do you succeed over the long term beyond standard measures. So how do you beat your peers? How do you beat your performance last year? But the challenge is, I think most people are just kind of happenstance. They show up every day and they say, well, I'll just be myself. And I hope that is enough. But a lot of people work hard or they're passionate or they follow their strengths and yet they're not breaking through. And they're not breaking through because they didn't know what to do.

Does it create accomplishment? This is interesting. Can you have high performance and be very happy as a very good bus driver?

Absolutely. Yeah. And you actually have to be happy so high performance is correlated with well being and happiness. So there's this myth that if you're really achieving a lot in life that you must be miserable, you must feel like you're scared all the time and work 24 7. But that's not true. High performers, to be able to maintain success over the long term, you have to take care of yourself. And as you take care of yourself, you learn what's meaningful for you. You learn what makes you happy. And so we found that high performers were actually more happy than their peers.

Do you go to your strength or work on your weaknesses?

You know, I think it's a little bit of a false dichotomy because you have to do both. You know, I think they're both really important. But I do believe the myths that you have to only follow your strengths is wrong. Because strengths is based on this idea that we have innate strengths. You're just born that way. But high performers had to learn so many new tools and so many new skill sets and so many, they had put so many hours in to become really good at something that strengths were there. But we asked high performers how much time they spent working on their strengths. They don't work on their strengths any more than the average person. So that's not what gave them the edge. What gave them the edge were the six habits in the book.

What is Brendon Burchard's definition of success?

For me, I want to live a fully charged and connected and contributing life for that means charge. I want to have energy, you know, I want to have your energy in my life someday. And I want to be connected with the people I love. My family, my friends, my team, the people that we serve. And I want to make, I want to know I'm making a difference. But that's my general definition of success in my career. You know, obviously I want my books to be best sellers and I want my courses to be popular. And I can't just rely on what I'm naturally good at to do that.

Are you driven financially?

I haven't ever been. My parents, as you know, working two full time jobs, raising four kids, we were just above the poverty line. My goals at the beginning of my career was $40,000. I thought if I ever made $40,000 in my life, I'll be rich because I'm from Butte, Montana.

I want them to make $200 a week.

That was yours? Oh, yeah. That doesn't take much when you're beginning.

$2 a year. Wow.

Yeah, I thought 40,000. That would be a million dollars to me. And so I've never really been financially driven. And we found that high performers aren't too high. Performance isn't correlated with how much you get paid or your overall wealth at all, which you would think that the highest paid people would necessarily be the highest performing. But there's a lot of highly paid people in corporate America who don't do anything.

We're learning what do high performers do with the terrible things in life? Death, loss, tragedy. Your house burns down, your child dies. Does that has to affect your high performance?

Yeah, because it's life.

How does life affect.

The number one habit of high performance is seeking clarity. High performers seek clarity more consistently than other people. So that means they also set intentions more than other people. So when they're going through difficult times, they define the feelings they want to experience from it. Even though they know they're going through a death in the family and they feel sadness like we all would in their mind, they say, how do I want this experience? What's the meaning I want to take away from it? How do I want to feel? How do I want to treat the other people around me? What do I want to stand for as I go through this? Doesn't make it necessarily any easier because loss is loss. But because they're seeking clarity of what's meaningful to them and how they want to feel, they get through it faster.

When we return to Larry King now we'll learn Brendan's strategy for productivity. Plus, what's the biggest misconception people have about success. Stay with us. We're back with Brendan Burchard. Can't wait for this book to come out. High performance habits. You're very productive. Number one podcast, multiple best selling books, public speaking engagements. Do you have a strategy?

I do and I need one. Started young, didn't become necessarily productive until I was 19. I had my car accident at a very young age. Inspired me to want to live a better life.

Died, right?

I thought I nearly died. I was terrified enough to get sort of morality or motivation. Morality. And I wanted to live a better quality of life. But I became productive because I knew I wanted to make a difference. And I realized life is short. As soon as you get life is short, you get more productive. The third habit of high performance is to raise necessity. And what that means is high performers say, why must I perform well here? And they're always raising the necessity so that they get more emotional commitment. They say, I need to do this for my parents or I need to do this because that person will beat me. But they're constantly leveling that necessity where they feel like they have to do something. And a lot of them do it because they feel like life is short. If I don't do this now or take advantage of this deal now, I'll lose the deal or I might die, or I might not have the opportunity later on. And I think that's what made me productive, is raising money.

How many did you talk to for this book?

We first surveyed over 100,000 people who claim to be high performers.

Surveyed them with a questionnaire.

Questionnaire, like a full 183 different variables. And we built in to understand were they really high performers or not. Then the ones who claimed that they were, we broke it down and said, okay, let's see if we can prove it. By interviewing them, interviewing their peers, seeking objective measures, how well they do at work, narrowed it all the way down to those that we knew for sure were high performers. And then did more assessments to see what is it that makes them tick, how do they think, what do they do during their day, how do they overcome difficulties, how do they project, manage, how do they manage their schedule? And all of that really helped us realize one of the other habits is they're more productive than other people.

Are these all people? We would know these high performance people by name?

By name, sure. But you know them because you work with them. It turns out about 15% of the public. So if you go into a company, the top 15% of people who are getting stuff done and probably highest rated in their peer reviews, those are probably the high performers there.

What role does optimism play in high performance?

A lot.

Are these people who jump out of bed in the morning?

Not always. Like me, I'm not a morning person at all. I'm a night owl, so I might not jump out of. But when it comes time to get at it, they're very optimistic. And what we found was, with their mindset is they look at the future in four different ways with four specific intentions. High performers ask themselves first and foremost, who do I want to be? Not who am I? Which is the strengths based movement.

Right?

The strengths based who am I? What am I good at? Instead, high performers go, who do I need to become and what do I need to get good at to succeed there? Then they have intentions for their social situations. How do I want to treat other people around me? How do I want to build a culture here? Then they have intentions for the skills they need to develop. They're very clear. If you go to A high performer. And you open up their calendar. You can often see classes or books they're reading or meetings that they're having just to develop skill. And then they're very clear and highly intentional about the service they want to give. They know their thing. I remember one of our interviews, you were talking about how curiosity was your thing and you love. You knew your thing and you stuck to it. And I actually was thinking about you in one of these chapters. It's called increasing your productive quality output. Discover what is going to make the difference in your career and do a lot of that. You did interviews and you kept doing them, and prolific quality output, they call it. So getting a lot of interviews done, making them quality, and consistently doing it year over year over year would probably be one of the reasons, you know, you achieved what you achieved, but enjoying it too, and enjoying every step of the way. High performers say there's three emotional states they feel. And let's see if you feel it like this. And this is the order they report it in our big surveys. Number one, they feel fully engaged. They're engaged. They're present with what they're doing. Number two, joy. They're enjoying that process. They love what they're doing. And number three, confidence. They're confident about what they're doing.

How do you deal with people who have kind of lost hope? The dream has faded?

I would usually say the dream didn't fade. They got disappointed by all the tactics and the things they were doing. What they were doing became hardship. The dream is still there. But their way about going and getting it wasn't working. So they got disenfranchised with the dream. They didn't really lose the dream. The methods. They got tired of the methods, the hard work, the hardship. Meaning maybe they were doing the wrong strategy. And so we got to reconnect and say, wait, are you sure you don't want that dream? Because maybe you gave up the dream because it was too hard along the way. Maybe you did the wrong strategy. Maybe you didn't have the right peer group around you, the right environment, the right support. But the dream, is it still there?

So I usually.

If someone says, I've lost my dream, I said, let's see if we can reconnect you with the dream and give you a new way about going, about achieving it.

What's the biggest misconception people have about the word success?

I would say they equate it with financial material, means.

Or athletic.

Yeah, or athletic.

Olympic gold medal. There's no finance in that.

That's right. And they think success is number one. Like I said, the highest performers in the world, they're really the top 15%. It's not the top 1%. And we think that I got to be number one. You know, I have to be number one. New York Times bestseller. I have to have the number one show on television. I have to have the number. And it's just not true because plenty of people who are number five and number six, number 10, they're happy too, and they're earning too. So I think that strive just to be number one or just to achieve the most amount of material gain is what puts people on the path of distraction. Because the path of purpose is usually not the most immediate, obvious one that's profitable.

Do they deal with stress?

Well, they deal with stress much better than their peers. And they do it by having moments throughout the day of rejuvenation. We think that high performers must just have less stress than other people. They have equal amounts of things that could stress them. They deal with it better because they have moments during the day where they release that tension.

After the break, Brendan on his daily habits for success. That's next. Don't go away. We're back with Brendan Bouchard. He's one of my favorite people. Number one. New York Times best selling author. He didn't matter that he's number one. He was just happy. And his book coming in September, High Performance Habits. How Extraordinary People Become that way. A lot of people set goals. What's the difference between the people who reach their goals and who lose their motivation?

Necessity, first and foremost. Because if your back is against the wall or you have to do it, or your identity says, I am this, I must do that. You don't lose motivation if that's who you are and what you really care about. You tend not to lose motivation. But the number two would be very clear. Habits that keep you on track. I think it's really hard for people to stay on track. Jim Rohn used to say that motivation gets you in the game. Habit keeps you there. And I think that's so true. People don't lose motivation. They forget to remind themselves to be motivated.

Do high performers sometimes feel lonely because their goal is striving and therefore they don't see the side of the road?

This is one of the things I got wrong in the research because I assumed that it was lonely at the top. I assumed the highest performers.

I always say that at the time, yeah, it's lonely.

At the time I would have thought that. But when we interviewed the highest performing of the highest performers, none of them said it was true. They said sometimes it's easy to feel misunderstood. But they said no, because most high performers, they have team, they have people.

Around them, a lot of friends.

A lot of friends. They have positive relationships. They've experienced positive emotions more than their peers. So they're happy. They have positive people around them who support them. It's not lonely. And I remember Brian Tracy once said, you know, if you're lonely at the top, you did it wrong.

Like narcissists.

Yeah, like a narcissist. Or. What happens is, it's easy when you're. When, let's say you have one skill set and the people don't around you. They don't understand it or they don't do it. And all of the weight rests on your shoulders. But one of the high performance habits is develop influence. And part of developing influence is knowing how to build your support network so you don't have to do it all. Because if you have to do it all, then that's where that pressure becomes a negative thing, and that's where you lose happiness.

Okay, let's talk about your habits. What do you do when you wake up, which is what, 11 o'? Clock?

I am not famous for being a morning person, but when I do get up, I have three 20 minute routines I do every morning. First one, I get up, I drink about 20 ounces of water, and then I go downstairs and I stretch. I move kind of like a yoga activity for about 20 minutes. It's not my workout for the day necessarily, but it's opening up my body. Then the second thing I do is I sit and I read.

What, newspaper?

No, usually for me it's a book. So something in the psychology realm or in the business realm.

Always non fiction, always nonfiction.

Yeah, in the morning. And then third thing is, I spend 20 minutes preparing my day. Every day.

Preparing your day.

Even if the day is already like today, Completely this day, it's completely scheduled. But I'll sit there for 20 minutes thinking about, okay, how do I do it? Well, what's the emotion I want to bring in?

This is Harvey McKay.

Yes, it really is. And you know, he's one of my mentors. So it's preparing myself for the day. And I also, in that time, I look at the bigger picture. I say, what are the major projects I'm working on? Is there anything in today's schedule that needs to be reshifted, moved around, canceled? That move that, so that I know once I begin the workday, I'm going to SWAT team that day. And people say, you're so disciplined, you know, must not be any fun. I go, discipline is the gateway to freedom. The more disciplined I am during the day, the more freedom I have at night or the longer vacation.

Do you like routine?

I don't like routine, but I recognize it as necessary for me to succeed and be healthy.

Some people are terrible at routine.

Yes, yes. But they can get better. It's just practice.

How much role does confidence play?

So there's six habits we found make a high performer. And the only underlying factor that increases all of them the most is confidence. The more confidence you have, the more clarity you're likely to seek. The more confidence you have, the more energy you have, the more necessity you feel, the more productive you are, the more influential you are. And always, always the more courageous you are.

I've always been confident at work. Yeah, but it doesn't mean you're confident in every area.

That's right. Yeah. Confidence is usually based on competence. Where are you good at something? You have the skill or the knowledge or the strengths. That's usually where our confidence is. And usually what we have to do is just say, hey, what's your real dream? What's your real ambition? Develop some skills. Along the way, you'll get more confident to achieve.

Is patience an attribute or not necessarily.

It is an attribute, but it's weakly correlated. So it's not one of those things you have to have to be a high performer. But we do recognize that for most people, if you lack the patience, usually you're in a lot of emotional turmoil. You could be, you know, someone who achieves a lot without patience, but you'll be in emotional stress a lot.

How about born with a strike In America, it's safe to say historically, maybe still true in many circles. If you're born black, you're born with a strike. Now that's change. Used to be two strikes.

Yeah.

I think it's harder for the minority.

Yeah. I think what we've discovered in our work that we will think will turn upend a lot of assumptions is that high performance isn't correlated with age, ethnicity, income, education level per se. It's more correlated with these habits are more important than where you came from. Because you know, you and I both know and you've interviewed, I mean, so many people who came from nothing but by their sheer will and habits became something. And so what we've learned, that's true for every high performer in our data. It Just seems to be that what they do is they overcome it.

What surprised you the most in all your research?

I would have thought there'd be 15, 20 different habits that all high performers were doing. And we ran the data, ran the data, did the interviews over and over and over. Three and a half years of research, there's just six. And I would have thought we all think that successful people must be doing a million things. They're doing six things.

Tick them off.

Yeah. Number one, they seek clarity. Meetings coming up. It's like when you have a meeting with Oprah. First thing she says is, what's our intention for this meeting? She's always seeking clarity. Number two, you have to generate energy, take care of your mental, physical, emotional well being. Number three, you have to raise necessity. Decide why what you're doing is a must. Why does your performance really matter to you? Number four, you have to be more productive and that means focusing on your prolific quality output. What's the needle movers of? The things that you create that actually makes a difference in your career. Then you have to develop influence with those around you because if you can't get the people around you to believe in you, buy from you, support you, you won't maintain long term performance. And then, last one, demonstrate courage.

In our final moments, the great Brendon Bouchard is taking your questions from social media. The book High Performance Habits is coming. Don't click away. We're back with Brendan Bouchard. High Performance Habits. How extraordinary people become that way. It's coming in September. We have some social media questions. Brett Benir on Facebook, you're a busy man. Do you deal with anxiety and how do you cope?

I used to deal with anxiety, a lot of it, especially before a big speech or an interview. I still get nervous all the time. And like Bruce Springsteen says, you know, he'd retire if he didn't feel nervous backstage. So I think it's really important that sometimes nerves are okay. Real anxiety, though, is usually a challenge with the way we're thinking about something. I would say a lot of anxiety comes from asking what if? Following with a negative statement, what if this doesn't go well? What if she hates me?

What if? Shoulda coulda.

Yeah, what if it's a terrible disaster? And so sometimes for me, dealing with anxiety, I change the what if from a negative statement to what if a positive what if that goes so great and the book takes off. What if we have a good time and we laugh together and I start sort of mulling on those things I feel better.

Reenfool on Twitter, who inspires you?

I would say yourself. And you know that I read your book when I was 19 and it helped me come out of my shell. That was a huge, a huge thing.

How to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Yeah. Hugely significant for a young 19 year old kid who was inside and didn't know how to ask questions and was curious about the world but didn't realize I'd learned through conversation that was a heroic moment. Harvey McKay, Zig Ziglar is huge. Stephen Covey was huge in my life. As you know, Wayne Dyer was a massive mentor of mine, Tony Robbins, people usually who achieved success and were willing to tell people how to do it, but not like tell them they must more of let me tell you a story.

And all These people, the McKay's, the Coveys, Zig Ziglar, Harvey McCain, they all.

Do it because they love it and they're genuine.

Oh yeah.

None of them need to do it. You know, there's this big myth that.

Everyone, they all could retire, all of them.

There's always this myth in the self help industry that these guys must be doing it for money or whatever. And they say, look, you don't get up on a plane at 5 in the morning and fly to another place. To another place, another place because it's about the money. You do it because you care about other people.

Magnamedia on Twitter. When do you give up on coaching a client? Or does that ever happen?

You give up on coaching a client when they stop sending you the money because your job is not to give up on them. Right.

When they stop, you usually find a reason why they stop.

Yeah, almost every time.

Well, they don't always have to pay. Right. It hits a point where they feel coached.

Yeah, almost every time someone stops coaching, it's because of disappointment in self. They feel like they should be further ahead.

You don't blame yourself. You don't say where did I go wrong in coaching?

Unless if it's true, I'd acknowledge it. But most of the time they're disappointed. They're like I wanted to be further right now I'm not. So I don't think this is working. And so they'll externalize it and blame the coach or blame their parents or blame the team. But usually there's a frustration inside because when people decide they need to do coaching, they're doing it because they know they need that challenge to go to the next level.

When you go to coaching, it doesn't mean you're a failure.

Right. Well, when you quit doesn't mean you're a failure. Sometimes it's time for a pivot. And I always say, who's going to help you through that pivot? You need a coach to walk you through how to become better.

Muzz87 on Twitter what's the best way to deal with negative or toxic people?

One, spend less time with them. But I've always, you know, I'm from Montana, so we really care about the people around us. And I think there's this bad myth that just get rid of everybody who's negative in your life. What if that's your wife? What if that's your mom? What if that's your cousin? What if that's someone on your team who's absolutely necessary to be there? I always say, instead of thinking, you have to get rid of everybody, which is kind of a tear down the walls approach. I'm more of a build a bridge guy and say, you know what, build the positive support network. You need spend less time if you can. But sometimes, you know, we have to have patience with people. I think love sometimes is really patience and empathy with other people. So maybe that negative person, they're going through a tough time.

Rob Petroitz on Facebook when did you know you had the ability to build a success in the business world?

I don't know I've even found that yet. I knew I could help people, and if I stayed true to what that service was, the business would take care of itself. But I've never really looked at myself and said, I'm a CEO. You know, I don't think that was ever my focus. So for me personally, I think the service was always something. I said, I can be confident in my service. I'll develop the skills for that. The business will follow itself.

The hardest word to say in the English language is no. You find it hard to say no?

I used to. And then I started caring about high performance and I wanted to get ahead in life. And if you're always saying yes to everything, there's a time, I think, you know, teenage years in your twenties, yeses are great. They open a lot of gates. You learn a lot of things. But at some point, if you don't narrow down the paths that you're going to pursue, you'll be a generalist who never actually has the ability to become world class at something or reach high performance.

Great talking with you, Brendan.

Great seeing Larry.

Brendan Burchard, the book High Performance Habits How Extraordinary People Become that Way. It's coming your way in September. And you can find me on Twitter at kingsthings. I'll see you next time.

All right, my friend, if you enjoyed.

That audio excerpt we just played for you, you can get the entire audiobook of high performance habits and actually a deluxe audiobook version of it for free. When you buy the book at brendan.com habits just follow the instructions there. That's B R E N--O-N.com habits. When you buy the book there, you get three exclusive bonuses. They're not available anywhere else and they really support me and support the book and support the show so it supports this community.

So please, if you really like that.

Excerpt, you'll be blown away by the research, the insights and the practices in this book. And I can't tell you how much I'll appreciate it because, you know, we self fund this entire show and all.

Of my YouTube shows and all of my events and everything.

We self fund that with the support of our community and with those who buy our stuff, our books, our programs, our courses. So please allow us to keep doing that by supporting this book. As you can tell, I'm so passionate about this book. This is the most important work of my life. We did more research on high performance.

Than has ever been done ever.

And by doing that, it literally cost me the last three years of everything. You know, it was a huge sacrifice to do this research project because I.

Didn'T need to do it.

I could have just taught from my.

Own personal perspective what I thought about high performance.

You know, because I've been training on this and coaching on it for a.

Decade, this was going into another level.

Of rigor to make sure that we identified through the best of the social sciences exactly what habits move the needle the most for you to succeed over the long term.

And so if you want to be.

Able to actually identify that right now for yourself, go to brendon.com habits and get the book. Because when you get it there, remember, you get also a link to a $97 professional assessment that you can take that will give you six scores that are related to the six areas that we correlated with long term success. That means you'll take an assessment and at the end you get six different scores in the six major habits of this book and from this research and it will identify which habit you probably.

Need to work on the most so.

That when you're reading the book, you can really focus in on that area.

Of journaling and taking notes and make.

Sure you're doing the activities or using the tools that we recommend in the book. And then obviously when you get the deluxe audiobook version, go right to that chapter and listen to that chapter where you've identified. That's the one you need to work on the most.

Obviously I'd love for you to listen.

To the entire book as well.

And again, you can do that easily.

By getting access to the deluxe audiobook version. That assessment and ultimately some more training from me by going to brendon.com habits thank you again for all of your support of my books, my courses and my seminars, my career, my YouTube videos, my Facebook. Everything that you've been a part of.

Has led to the ability to conduct.

This research so that you're adding to.

Every single sort of heart and mind.

In our community so that we can.

Keep getting better at what we do.

So that's part of the high performance.

Work, getting better at what we do all the time.

And I certainly couldn't do that without your support. So thanks for being here. Please go to brendan.com habits so please go there, support the book. Thanks for being here, thanks for listening and I'll talk to you soon.